The Forgiveness Project
by Galpalcj
Summary: A lesson on forgiveness will guide this group of friends through middle school and the dangers that come with growing up in a world of confusing feelings, family issues, and public scandal. Part 1 of 2. Picks up right after Texas during the triangle. (No set pairings but RUCAS/LILEY HEAVILY IMPLIED)
1. Chapter 1

Alas I do not own GMW or anything that comes from it.

The bell was seconds away from ringing when the girls entered the school. As much as she hated to admit it she was relieved there would be no time for morning greetings with her friends. Another pang of guilt flooded her. She wanted Maya to be happy more than anything in the entire world. Riley had known when she practically forced them together in Texas that if her plan worked Maya and Lucas would end up a couple. Another feeling she refused to name coursed through her at the thought.

Something had happened in Texas. She didn't know exactly what it was, but she could certainly imagine what it might be. Everything was working out exactly as she had foreseen…well, almost everything. Something good was finally happening for her best friend and Riley was happy about that…but knowing Lucas was that good thing, that was the hard part.

Watching Maya and Lucas exchange hello's in the morning was physically painful. That had been their thing. It was wasn't like they had any kind of copyright on the words but over the last year that had been one of the small distinctions of the "unofficial something" between them. And now it was gone.

Riley exchanged her books for the day at her locker and braced herself for the next wave of emotion she knew was about to occur. How could she feel so much and so little at the same time? She was exhausted mentally and physically. Everything just felt wrong. Still she was certain she had done the right thing.

Everyone else was already in their seats when she entered the room. Lucas looked up from his desk, locking eyes with her. A surge of something she didn't want to feel rushed through her, but she pushed it down. They really were just friends now. She broke his gaze as she made her way to her desk and sat down.

Maya had seen the look. It had only lasted a moment, but it was there. Maya now resolved there was a third certainty she could cling to; Lucas still had feelings for Riley. Despite her feelings for him, or perhaps because of them, she couldn't help but feel sorry for Lucas. After all, she knew what it felt like to want someone that would never want you back. It was a pain she wouldn't wish on anyone, even Hop-along.

Sure, she and Lucas had shared a moment by the campfire, but everything else he had said and done since screamed he wasn't over her best friend. Riley had finally come to grips with her true feelings for Lucas, but he hadn't made peace with them yet. He didn't want to be her brother. He'd made that perfectly clear over the last few days.

Every time Riley had emphasized their new relationship Lucas had rebelled against it. Even when she had told him how Maya felt he was more concerned with what Riley didn't feel for him. Part of her wished they had never gone to Texas. Lucas never would have ridden that stupid bull and everything wouldn't have changed.

Maya had been confused about Lucas before that. There had been moments between them that she couldn't really explain or define. He was so passionate about defending her art, and when he looked into her eyes and validated her work…that was the first time they had ever really looked at one another. That was the first time she had ever really _seen_ him.

Until that day he was just a cute, goofy boy who her best friend had a crush on, who was really hot whenever he lost his temper. Riley didn't like that side of Lucas but Maya did. She knew that he was good like Riley. She assumed that was one of the reasons they had become friends, but there was something about knowing that he wasn't perfect, that he was angry…like her. It made him relatable…on her level. He was a little broken too.

Maya hadn't really given a thought to why she treated Lucas the way she did or what it meant until then, but once she had looked down into him something had begun twisting inside her. She was looking at him from a completely different perspective…Riley's perspective. She was interpreting her relationship with Lucas through the classroom's perspective. Everyone thought they should be together, and Riley didn't actually want him…so there was no harm in whatever it was she was feeling, right?

Cory Mathews stood at the front of his classroom. He had a special lesson in mind for today, one he hoped would ripple out into the lives of his students, as Feeny's lessons had always done for him. He didn't just want to teach them about events in history. He wanted them to learn about how those moments shaped their world and how they could learn from them. In history were lessons about life, love, friendship, and there was no better time for this particular lesson, given what was happening between his daughter and her friends right now. He didn't know exactly what was coming next but he knew it involved feelings, and feelings were a very messy affair.

"All through history countries go to war. That's what we normally study in here, but today we're going to talk about peace, forgiveness, and how we get there."

This would be one of the most important lessons he would ever teach them.

"Every once in a while I come up with a good idea." Cory was certain this was one of those moments.

"What could it possibly be that I haven't already thought of," shouted Farkle. Cory could always rely on Farkle to get involved and had not only expected it, but counted on it.

Cory pointed out into the classroom. "I forgive you Farkle."

Confused Farkle responded "what did I do?"

Just then Zay Babineaux looked over at Farkle. "I forgive you too," he said.

"What did I do?" this time a little more worried than confused.

Zay just looked at Farkle. "Oh you know what you do." Lucas solemnly nodded in agreement.

Cory's plan had already taken a life of its own.

"I feel better now that I've forgiven you. How do you feel," Cory asked Farkle.

"I'm sorry for every time that I hurt you! What did I do?" the boy cried.

"Ladies and gentlemen today we are going to begin the forgiveness project. Our history isn't just about what we've done. How we grow comes from the repair of what we've done and how we forgive what was done to us."

"Okay we're in," Riley mused. "What do we do?" That's my girl, Cory thought to himself.

He told everyone to take out a piece of paper and write to someone who had wronged them. He knew this task would be easier for some of his students than others. Riley began dictating her letter to his son August about the teddy bear he had damaged years ago. Why this had permanently traumatized his daughter he wished he knew.

Maya resisted the project, claiming she could think of no one to write to. He knew this project would be extremely difficult for her, but he also knew that if she saw this project through she would be better off for it. Cory didn't have to say anything about her father. Maya's friends were looking out for her as always. He was happy to see that even under the current circumstances they were all making their friendship a priority.

Cory looked out into his classroom, watching each of his students, put pencil to paper. He didn't know what each of their grievances were, but he was certain, no matter how big or small, they would learn something from them. He would see to that.


	2. Chapter 2 Someone Has Wronged You

"Someone has wronged you. Forgive them."

Riley instantly thought of Auggie and her teddy bear. She realized it probably sounded silly to still be so upset about a stuffed animal after all these years but she couldn't help it.

Her parents didn't understand. Her friends didn't either. To Riley it wasn't just any stuffed animal. She couldn't actually remember the day she had gotten him but according to her family he was one of her very first Christmas presents. And Auggie had defaced it. Sure her parents could buy her a new teddy bear but it wouldn't be the teddy bear from her first Christmas anymore. It would just be the teddy bear bought to replace the gift she had carried around her entire childhood.

She might have been able to let it go if Auggie had any remorse for what he had done, but he didn't. He had dutifully apologized when their mom and dad made him, but he wasn't actually sorry. This time would be different. She would forgive him and finally get the apology she deserved. Then she could let it go.

Lucas sat there twiddling his pencil. He thought about Mr. Mathews words. The sad truth was that he wronged a lot more people than had ever wronged him. He shuddered to think how many of these letters would be addressed to him if he had been assigned this project in Texas. That wasn't the person he wanted to be.

Thankfully New York had been different. Here he had become a better version of himself; Lucas the good, the moral compass. He'd be lying if he said that sometimes he thought maybe he'd gone too far in his new self, like a driver over correcting themselves at a crossroads, but at least he wasn't dragging his family's name through the mud hole anymore. They were actually proud of the person he was becoming.

Who could he forgive? And for what? Then he thought of the conversation they had just had in class and the movie Farkle had completely ruined over the weekend. That seemed like as good a grievance as any.

Farkle looked around. He and Maya were the only two people not writing. He knew why Maya was so against this project. She had been abandoned. Maybe his life wasn't perfect but complaining about his issues was like comparing his paper cut to her slice down to the bone.

How could anyone not want Maya? She was beautiful, talented, and despite what she wanted to let people believe, very tender hearted. Whoever her dad was, he was either blind or stupid not to realize how amazing his daughter actually was and while he hoped for Maya's sake she could forgive him, he knew he never would.

He supposed he could forgive Billy for making him feel so worthless. There was just one problem with that plan. He had already forgiven Billy. Farkle looked over at Maya again who was now glancing at the piece of paper and her pencil.

She seemed torn at first but then suddenly a look of resignation came over her and she slowly put pencil to paper. If she was willing to open up the most vulnerable part of herself for the sake of this project, then he could to.

Farkle quickly scribbled something down just in time for the bell to ring. He folded the paper up and jabbed it into a pocket of his bag, wondering if he'd actually have the courage to share it with its subject.

As he exited the room he found himself bombarded with notes. Was everyone forgiving him and what had he done? As he opened the first one, from Zay, he found the answer to his question. I forgive you for ruining the end of every movie. Lucas's basically said the same thing.

Farkle couldn't say that he was entirely surprised by this. He knew that he had a tendency to figure out the clues to the end and then blurt them out, but he couldn't help it if he had great powers of observation and a keen intellect.

He was a genius! That was his thing. They all had one. Zay had his comedic timing. Lucas had his athletic ability and unnatural good looks. Maya had her affectionate teasing and tough girl act and Riley had her uncanny ability to see the good in everything and everyone. That's just who they were.

He watched the girls coming out of the classroom. He watched Lucas watch Riley. He was always watching Riley, that wasn't anything new, but it seemed different now. He wasn't observing and adoring Riley. He was studying her, searching for something. Farkle wasn't sure exactly what but he had a feeling it all went back to Texas somehow. Everything did these days.

Farkle thought surely the girls would understand and back him up, but they didn't.

"Noooooo," Maya had said.

"Never again," Riley had chimed.

None of his friends were willing to watch another movie with him, he sadly realized.

His thoughts turned to the piece of paper in his bag. It was as if it was burning a hole in his pocket, begging to be read, but Farkle shook the thought away. Maya was confronting her father and he apparently had amends to make with his friends. His own forgiveness project would simply have to wait.


	3. Chapter 3 Where To Now

Maya stood outside of Topanga's bakery. Inside Katie was doing her best to dissuade the owner from trying her hand at serving the customers. Topanga Mathews was many things but a waitress certainly wasn't one of them. She appreciated that the lawyer/bakery owner was willing to get her hands dirty, so to speak, but the best way she could help Katie in this case was to stand back and let her do the one thing she felt confident in. Katie had been waitressing most of her life, after all.

Outside Maya was facing her own battle; one of nerve. When Mr. Mathews had first assigned this project Maya had blatantly ignored the concern and advice of her friends. Lucas thought it was time to confront her past. Riley thought she was strong enough. Neither of them understood.

Maybe what they said was true most of the time, but not when it came to this particular subject. It had taken every ounce of strength and bravery she possessed just to put the words on the paper. She couldn't even read them to herself, though she knew exactly what it said. The idea of sending him this letter, of him reading those words...and that was when it hit her. She had finally written the letter, but now she didn't know where to send it.

Maybe she didn't have to. Maybe it was enough just to have acknowledged her feelings. Maya looked down at the folded piece of paper in her hands and sighed. She knew that, while it had been a step in the direction Mr. Mathews had in mind, it wasn't enough to complete the project. If she didn't send the letter and forgive her father then she would fail...and Maya didn't want to fail.

Maya didn't actually remember her dad. She was so young when he left. All she'd ever had of him were a few stories that had been handed down and a picture her mom had found buried in a book in the back of their closet. They didn't talk about him except when Maya would ask. Katie had always made him sound like a good father and a good man...she wondered now how much of that was true. She had blamed her mother for his absence for so long. If it hadn't been for Shawn Hunter she probably still would be.

After all those years of punishing her mom for something that wasn't actually her fault the last thing Maya wanted to do was hurt her again. Talking about Kermit...seriously who names their kid after a green frog puppet...had to be painful for Katie. It was painful for Maya too, no matter how much she pretended otherwise. She knew Mr. Mathews had to have a good reason for doing this to them though. He never did anything without a reason, and though Maya wouldn't admit it to him, he was usually right.

Maya looked through the window watching her mother schmooze and serve with a smile. She handed the gentleman at the table a slice of dessert and poured his coffee. Maya couldn't hear what they were saying but she had no doubt her mother was charming the pants off the guy, better tip that way.

Just then Katie looked up and caught a glimpse of her daughter. Maya gave her a weak smile and a halfhearted wave. She didn't like to bother God about her own needs but maybe just this once...please God, help me do this she pleaded internally.

Katie sat the coffee pot down on the counter and motioned over to Topanga. "Would you mind manning the counter for just a minute please," she asked. Topanga looked confused. "I thought you didn't want me serving the customers?" But then she saw Maya standing outside and understood. The two women exchanged a knowing nod as Katie made her way to the exit.

"Hey baby girl! Everything okay," she asked, though she had a feeling she already knew they answer. Maya gave her another weak smile. "Yeah, everything's fine...it's just um. I need your help with something," she stammered. Katie searched her daughter's face concern written on her own. "Okay." She gestured over to the table and chairs on the patio. "How can I help?"

This was it! Maya sat down in the chair across from her mom and shuffled her feet. Finally she glanced up meekly and said "I need to ask you...about dad." Katie sighed. "I see."

It was like a knife in her heart hearing her daughter say those words. She had always known this conversation would have to happen someday. She had thought a lot about what to tell her. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Maya or make her feel unwanted...but that's exactly what the truth would do to her.

She cursed Kermit for the millionth time in that moment. Had he not realized the kind of life he had set their little girl up for with his selfish choices?! Did he not care about her at all?!

Katie had done everything in the last thirteen years possible to make sure Maya grew up knowing how special she was. It hadn't been easy to support the two of them on her own but she had found a way. She hadn't been able to be nearly as present as she had wanted to be and she couldn't give Maya everything she wanted to, but she had tried her hardest to make up for what her poor judgement had cost her beautiful baby girl.

Maya was only four the first time she had asked about him. Riley had a daddy. Several of the other kids in daycare had a daddy. Why didn't she? How could Katie look into those innocent blue eyes and tell her the truth? She couldn't. A girl should think well of her father, and so she lied.

Over the next few years whenever the subject came up Katie would put on her best performances. She would speak of Kermit with tenderness and care. She would describe a man who would pick Maya flowers in the park or play horsey in the floor of their apartment. She told Maya that her father loved her but that he wasn't ready to be a father so she had sent him away. She'd rather have her daughter resent her than blame herself for his cruelty and heartlessness.

For years she built him up as a hero and willingly played the villain, until Shawn Hunter had barged into their lives and taken it upon himself to tell her the truth. Katie had wanted to wring his neck with her bare hands at the time, but looking back she was grateful that he had. She and Maya were finally able to reconnect. Her daughter looked at her with love in her eyes now...But sitting there in the brisk autumn air with Maya looking at her, wanting to know and afraid to ask, Katie wondered if it was worth it. "What do you need to know?"

Maya didn't want to do this anymore. She wanted to burn the letter and pretend this whole day never happened. But then she would fail...she had already done the hard part. Her mother was here and the cards were already on the table. It was too late to turn back now.

Maya hesitated a moment. "We're doing this project for school...about forgiveness. We're supposed to write someone who wronged us and send it to them." She paused uncertain whether or not she should continue. "I uh, I wrote to dad...but um...I don't have anywhere to send it. I was hoping maybe..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Okay, so maybe this was the hard part. "Do you have any idea where he is now?"


	4. Chapter 4 Perspective Changes Everything

Riley wasn't sure what her father had in mind when he'd given this assignment but this couldn't possibly be it. Everywhere they went the air was filled with the tension of accusations and conflict. The forgiveness project was supposed to bring peace but looking around she couldn't help but notice that everyone seemed to be at war.

She had tried to forgive Auggie, but he wouldn't even apologize or show remorse. How could she possibly forgive him when he wasn't even the least bit sorry?

Farkle had been affected too. He wasn't angry or defensive though. He just seemed...discouraged somehow. She hated that his feelings were hurt but at the same time he had kind of brought this on himself, hadn't he? She knew he probably didn't mean to annoy them all when watching movies, but it WAS annoying. She supposed they could lie, but she had already learned telling the truth was much better most of the time, and she already had one lie too many on her plate. It was taking all her energy just to keep this one going.

Worst of all was the way Maya and Katie had become. Maya was never quiet. She didn't know how to be. She was loud and blunt and a little bit reckless and that's just the way Riley liked her. She had seen Maya scared of losing Josh to college girls. She had seen Maya scared for Lucas's life. She had seen Maya scared of losing Shawn even...but in all the years she had known Maya she had never seen her this kind of scared before.

Riley looked over at her best friend and barely recognized her. She sat still, quiet, her hands directly in front of her. She looks like me, Riley thought to herself and shook her head unsure what to do with that realization.

"Good Morning class" Cory rang out. "And how is our assignment going so far?"

Some of the class began to grumble their complaints. Others just sat there quietly, Maya included. Needless to say it was not going well.

"What's the point of this assignment dad?

Cory had been prepared for this, again he had counted on it. He smiles internally at how well he knew his students.

"To change history."

The class looked at him in bewilderment.

"You can't change history sir," Farkle stated. "It's already happened."

"It changes YOUR history. Perspective changes everything, every single time. How many of you have confronted the person who wronged you like I asked you to?"

Several hands shot up into the air...even Maya's. So she had decided to write her dad after all. Suddenly Maya's behavior made perfect sense. Her dad was right. Perspective really did change everything.

"Okay good. Now how many of you actually listened to them when they told their side of the story?" Slowly all the hands fell one by one..."Until you do that, you're assignment hasn't really even started," he said just as the bell rang.

Everyone began collecting their belongings to exit the classroom but Maya just laid her stack of books on her desk and sat there. Zay, Lucas, Farkle and Riley all stood by their desks waiting for her.

"You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Are you sure," Farkle asked her.

"Cause we can stay" Lucas added.

"I am completely willing to miss class for you sugar." Zay stated with a smile. Maya smirked at the latter's response. That was the closest she had come to smiling all day. "I'll bet you are. No really, it's okay. I want to talk to Mathews a minute," she said.

"Maya..." Riley started but was quickly interrupted "it's okay honey. Go." The brunette shook her head. "Fine, but I'm not going far. I'll be right on the other side of that door waiting for you peaches." She picked up her stuff and her dad followed her to the doorway. "Take care of her daddy," she whispered. Cory nodded in agreement before closing the door and facing the blonde girl.

"My mom is really mad at you," she stayed bluntly. Cory nodded again.

"Yeah I got that impression when she pelted me with food at the bakery yesterday. I'm guessing this means you took Riley and Lucas's advice?"

Now it was her turn to nod. "I wrote the letter, like you asked. I mailed it yesterday but I haven't gotten a response yet. That's normal though, right?"

Cory could hear the mixture of hope and fear in her voice. For a split second he hated himself for doing this to her too. The truth was he had no idea what kind of man Kermit was. He didn't know how he would respond to the letter, or if he even would, but he knew Maya would always remain angry and incomplete if she never addressed what he had done and what it had meant for her. He loved the little girl too much to let that happen.

"The mail can take a few days," he said. He didn't know what else to say. Silence lingered between them until she looked up at him again. "I won't lose points for that, will I? Because I haven't heard his side yet?"

Cory had never seen her so concerned with a grade before. "You won't fail," was all he said. "I promise, no matter what happens, as long as you do your part you won't fail."


	5. Chapter 5 Crowded Halls

True to her word, Riley stood outside the classroom door waiting for her friend. The rest of the group had offered to stay, but Riley had politely rejected their offer. She had reasoned that there was no point in all of them getting in trouble for ditching class but the truth was she just didn't want the company. She didn't want to argue with Farkle for the umpteenth time or stand there awkwardly with Lucas. She didn't want to hear Zay's commentary on the way Maya looked at Lucas or Lucas looked at Maya. She just wanted to make sure her friend was okay.

The boys were just about to walk away when Charlie Gardner came strolling up to her side.

"Hey Riley."

"Hi."

"Hey," he echoed.

Lucas watched in horror. That was their thing! Riley was doing their thing with Charlie Gardner. They had barely even said hi to one another since returning from Texas. She had been too busy saying hi to Charlie Gardner and going on dates with Charlie Gardner, all the while telling him he was nothing more than her brother. She'd even asked him for dating advice about Charlie Gardner.

"I had a really great time with you the other night," he said.

"I did too,' she lied. That's what she was supposed to say, right. It wasn't that the movie was horrible or that Charlie was unpleasant company. He just wasn't the person she wanted to be there with…

"In that case I was hoping we could go out again? We can watch another movie or go bowling, whatever you want to do."

Riley could feel the boys watching her. She could sense Farkle's disapproval and concern from across the hallway. Zay wasn't even trying to hide his amusement. This was all his fault. He was the one that had told Charlie she and Lucas were just going to stay friends. She glanced over at Lucas, she knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help herself. What she wouldn't give to know what he was thinking in that moment….then again maybe it was better if she didn't know.

Days like today only confirmed what she already knew; Lucas cared about Maya. That's why he had offered to stay. That's why he hadn't wanted to leave. He wanted to be there when Maya came out of her dad's classroom. He wanted to comfort her and make her happy again. He wanted to take care of her and be her hero. Another feeling she refused to name coursed through her at the thought, but her fake smile never wavered. She looked back at Charlie.

"I'm sorry Charlie. My best friend Maya is going through something really hard right now and I really want to be there for her."

"No worries, I completely understand. You want to be there for your friend. That's the kind of person you are. That's why I like you so much."

Lucas felt his stomach beginning to churn. He was going to be sick.

Farkle studied Riley's reaction to Charlie's declaration.

Zay whispered something about wishing he had popcorn to go along with the show.

Riley felt so guilty. She knew it wasn't fair for her to drag him along like this. He seemed like such a nice guy, and who knows, maybe if she spent more time with him she really could learn to like him?

"Maybe when things settle down though," she suggested.

Charlie's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Farkle sighed in disappointment.

Lucas felt his heart wrench.

Zay looked over at his friend "Man, you okay? You don't look so good."

Farkle saw an opportunity and he took it. "Yeah, you do look a little green. Let's get you some fresh air," he put his arm around Lucas and began guiding him to the exit. "If Maya comes out tell her we're just outside, okay?"

He didn't even wait for an answer.

Riley and Charlie agreed to go out again at a later date before he headed to class. He didn't even care that he would get detention for being late. Riley Mathews had agreed to go out with him again and that was all that mattered. He knew she wasn't over the cowboy yet, but he was confident that if she would just give him a chance, he could make her forget all about Lucas Friar. A second date was definitely a step in the right direction.

She stood there next to Zay unsure of what to say. Yes, they were friends but they had never really spoken outside of the group.

"So….how's your forgiveness project coming?" she asked making small talk.

"Oh ya know, I forgave Farkle for ruining the end of every movie we've ever seen together but I don't really see much point in forgiving him when he's just gonna do it again."

"I know what you mean. How can you forgive someone who doesn't even care they did something wrong?"

"Is this about that weird faceless bear your brother ruined?"

"Yes…"

"And your brother is how old, five?"

"Almost six!" she sighed. "Look I know that it sounds stupid being so upset about a stuffed animal when there are people with much bigger more important problems, but it's important to me. It was special and now it's not…"

"You're right," he shrugged. "That does sound stupid."

"Gee thanks!"

"It's obviously still special to you or you would have thrown it away by now.

Riley didn't know what to say. She'd never thought of it that way before.


	6. Chapter 6 Peas in a Pod

Farkle guided Lucas out a side door exit where they had less chance of being discovered. It wasn't like Farkle to skip classes. He was a very diligent student, but right now his friends really needed him. That took priority over whatever lesson he was missing at the moment. Mr. Mathews had charged him with the task of getting to the bottom of this mess and making sure everyone made it out on the other side together so that's exactly what he intended to do.

From what Farkle could gather it had all started with Maya, but when he'd addressed her behavior back in Texas she didn't have any answers to give. In fact, she had been hoping that Farkle could explain it to her. Maya wasn't a puzzle, at least not to him. He had studied Maya and Riley both so long he knew them probably better than he did himself at this point. Under any other circumstances he would have been able to pinpoint the problem and happily done so, but feelings were a foreign uncharted territory for the gang and he was currently just as lost as the rest of them. Feelings complicated everything and poor Maya seemed to be drowning in an ocean of them; feelings for Riley, for Lucas, for Riley's uncle Josh….and now this thing with her dad. It was no wonder she had no idea what she felt or wanted from one moment to the next.

If Maya felt too much Riley was the exact opposite. She didn't seem to have any feelings at all about anything anymore, which was very unlike her. Riley had become the Hoover Dam, nothing was getting through, but the truth was hiding in plain sight. All you had to do was look into her eyes and you could see the light inside them slowly dimming. That simply couldn't happen.

Farkle had been one half of the Riley protection squad since the first grade. Since he was six years old he and Maya had kept her safe from the harsh realities of the world and its disappointments. They had done everything possible to keep her as pure and hopeful as the day she had come into their lives, illuminating the shadows that surrounded them. They hadn't been able to protect her from the fact Pluto was no longer a planet, being rejected year after year by the cheer team, or being bullied, but there were so many other things Riley didn't know because they had protected her from the outside world. Was he supposed to protect her from her best friend, or her own feelings? He never thought the greatest threat to Riley's happiness would come from within herself.

She loved Lucas. She could deny it until her very last breath, and probably would for Maya's sake, but no matter how many times she said it she couldn't make it not true. He could see the toll her lie was taking, not just on her but on everyone in their circle. He could end it. He was out here alone with Lucas. One sentence and there would be nothing but the truth between them. He couldn't do it though, no matter how badly he wished he could. It wasn't his secret to tell.

Lucas sat down on the concrete steps, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands. He took a deep breath, then another. The cool air and distance between himself and Charlie were helping. He could feel himself regaining his composure. He hated himself for letting that guy get to him this way, but he couldn't help it. He glanced over at his friend as Farkle took a seat next to him.

"Thanks for getting me out of there," he said. "I think I just needed some air."

Why couldn't anyone ever just say what they meant anymore, Farkle wondered. It didn't take a genius to see that Lucas was jealous of Charlie.

"Whenever you're ready to talk I'm ready to listen," the boy simply stated.

"There's nothing to talk about." Lucas replied.

Farkle just scoffed. "We both know that's not true. The entire class knows that's not true."

Lucas winced at the memory of Maya's post Texas announcement. He had all but begged her not to mention anything to Riley, so why had she felt the need to do so? He could understand not wanting any more secrets between the two of them but Riley had known about Maya's feelings for him before he did, and Maya had apparently known what Riley really felt for him first too. Why was he always the last to know?

"It's really nothing. I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal about this." He said.

"Because it is a big deal. Whatever happened down there is changing everything Lucas!" Did he really not understand how serious this was?

"Nothing happened," he repeated.

"Maya said something happened." Farkle reminded him, as if he needed reminding.

"Nothing happened," he raised his voice. "Okay so something…almost happened, but that's not the same thing. Almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades."

Farkle's brows knit together as he gave Lucas a bewildered expression.

"It's something Pappy Joe always says." He explained.

"Look Lucas, I'm not going to judge you. I know better than anyone what it's like when your heart is lured by two completely opposite yet equally amazing women. I've been trying to choose between Maya and Riley since the first grade so if anyone understands your predicament right now it's me." Farkle rested his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "I'm just trying my best to make sure we all get through this in one piece."

"It's not like that, okay? I don't look at Maya like that,"….but then why had he grabbed her face and held it inches away from his…"at least I don't think I do,"…then why had he almost kissed her…"or I didn't…you know before…," he trailed off.

Lucas sounded just as lost as Maya. They were two peas in a confused pod.

"And now?" Farkle ventured.

"Honestly? I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that Maya likes me. I don't know about you, but I never saw that coming."

Farkle shrugged. "I can't say that I'm entirely surprised I mean, look at ya!" he raised his hands in emphasis.

Lucas felt his blood begin to simmer. It wasn't just Farkle's assumptions, it was Riley calling him her brother. It was having smoothies dumped over his head for entertainment. It was Charlie Gardner seeing both sides of Riley's notebook when he hadn't even seen one.

"You keep saying that. It might interest you to know that being "Mr. Perfect" isn't nearly as fun or easy as you seem to think it is. It definitely has its drawbacks!" he snapped.

Farkle felt his own frustration rising. "Oh please, tell me, what is so horrible about having every single girl in our grade swoon at the mere sight of you!" he spat at his friend.

Lucas just hung his head and muttered "not every girl…" just every girl except for Riley.


	7. Chapter 7 Conflicts and Convictions

Cory Mathews was sitting at his kitchen table attempting to grade his history class papers, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't focus. Maya's words kept replaying over and over again in his mind. He had thought this project was one of his better ideas, but thinking about the precarious situation he had purposefully put her in was making him begin to doubt that decision. He loved Maya as if she were his own. As far as he and Topanga were concerned she was a Mathews, blood or no. The last thing he would ever want to see her in pain. He honestly thought he was doing the right thing at the time. He had been able to defend his reasons against Katie when she'd lashed out at him, yet he was finding it hard defending them now.

He tried to shake the voices of concern in his head and returned to his papers when he heard the front door open. He looked up and saw his beautiful baby girl coming toward him with a strange expression on her face. She walked over to the table and took a seat next to him. He watched her for a moment, waiting for her to speak. She opened her mouth and raised her finger then quickly dropped her hand and closed her mouth. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"Dad," she said timidly.

Cory looked up from his papers a second time. "Yes, Riley?"

"I'm not sure but I think I've finished my project."

"You're not sure?" he asked intrigued.

"Well, I confronted Auggie about my teddy bear like you said."

Cory nodded. "I see. And did you hear what he had to say on the matter?"

Riley shook her head no, "not exactly."

Her father nodded again, "I told you that until you do the assignment hasn't even started yet."

"I know," she retorted.

"Then what makes you think that you're finished?" he questioned.

"Because I forgave him."

Cory sighed, disappointed that his message hadn't made it through to any of his students yet.

"There's a lot more to forgiveness than just words Riley."

She nodded. "I know that now. I kept saying that I forgave him before, but I hadn't not really."

He cocked his head to the side curious, "And now you have? What changed?"

Riley just shrugged her shoulders. "I realized that I didn't need him to be sorry in order to forgive him. It doesn't matter why he did it. He's just a kid. He didn't know any better. He didn't understand that the bear was special to me, and just because he made a mistake doesn't mean it has to stop being special…so I forgive him."

Cory just sat there a moment completely dumbfounded. Here he was lecturing his students about really listening to people and yet, he had failed to try and understand his daughter's feelings about the bear. To him it was just one of many stuffed animals that could easily be replaced, but to Riley it was special. It wasn't about Auggie or his actions at all. It was about whatever that bear represents to her.

A surge of pride, both as a father and educator, ran through him. His daughter had learned not only the ability to forgive but the true nature of forgiveness. And she had done it with minimal prompting from him. Cory finally understood why Feeny had never just came out and said what he meant. It was to help them grow. They had to come to it on their own when they were ready.

He smiled at his child, she may be a young woman but she would always be his little girl.

"Congratulations Riley, You have just completed the forgiveness project."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really." He confirmed.

"Yay me!" she said clapping her hands together like a seal.

She rose from her seat and gave her father a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you daddy," she said.

Cory just smiled "You're welcome honey."

Riley began walking up the steps when he called out "Hey Riley, why is that bear so special to you?"

"You said it was the first one you and mom ever gave me, for Christmas."

Cory just nodded as Riley made her way to her bedroom. The bear upstairs wasn't actually the first bear they had ever gotten her. He and Topanga had replaced that bear at least twice before Riley was three. He chuckled as he thought of the time the neighbor's dog had gotten ahold of the first one, and again at the time he'd forgotten Teddy junior in Philadelphia while visiting his parents, but those were things Riley didn't need to know.

He thought again of Maya and the nature of her own forgiveness project. He knew that her resolution would be nowhere near as simple as Riley's had been, but he also knew that something good could possibly still come from whatever happened next. The most important thing was that she came to it on her own when she was ready, and that she knew she didn't have to face it alone.


	8. Chapter 8 Shattered Hopes

Riley exited her final class of the day, but instead of looking for Maya or her father she walked across the hall and waited. Farkle came strolling out of the room parallel to hers, still deep in discussion with a fellow classmate. He knew why she was there.

"Bay window?" he asked.

Riley nodded. "Yes, and tell Lucas to be there too if he can."

'Why can't you tell him?" he sighed. This little game was becoming tedious very fast.

The brunette gave him a withering stare. "You know exactly why I can't do that. Besides you'll probably see Lucas before I do."

Farkle just smiled knowingly.

"One of you wanted to see me?" a familiar voice sounded from behind her.

"Yeah, Riley has something she wants to ask you," Farkle blurted before Riley had the chance to realize what was happening.

Lucas felt his heart leap a little in spite of himself.

"You wanted to ask me something?" He searched for her eyes but she refused to return his gaze.

Finally Riley looked up into his green eyes, and all those unnamable useless emotions that weren't allowed to mean anything anymore hit her like a tidal wave.

"I was going to ask if you'd come to my house after school….to talk about Maya…You, me, and Farkle, that is."

Lucas felt his hope deflate at her words. She had only wanted to see him because of Maya. He had to admit that he was worried about his friend, girlfriend, what were they? Lucas didn't know anymore. What he did know is that ever since this project had started the vibrant, bold, outspoken girl he had gotten to know and care for was becoming more quiet and distant by the day.

"Yeah, of course. Just let me call my parents and let them know. I'll meet you guys there."

Riley just smiled and nodded. "See you there."

The bay window was a sacred place of friendship and wisdom. This is where the girls figured out their most important stuff. Though neither of them had confirmed his suspicion, he was fairly certain they had discussed him in that very spot. It was where they had come when Farkle was in trouble. It was this very window he had stormed through when he found out that someone was hurting Riley. Whenever one of their friends was hurting or lost this was the place they came to in order to make it right.

Riley and Farkle were already seated but they weren't saying anything. Why was there so much silence between them all these days? Lucas knocked on the door frame to signal his presence. He didn't feel right just coming through the window anymore, even though he knew Mr. Mathews was no longer threatened by his presence there. He could sit at that window with no fear of being chased out or losing a shoe. Fathers don't chase brothers out windows.

He came over and sat down on the other side of Riley, just as he had done a million times before, but it wasn't like before. Riley stood and addressed both of the boys.

"Okay well I'm sure I'm not the only one that's noticed how Maya's been acting, right."

Farkle and Lucas were both quick to agree that something was clearly going on with their friend.

"I think it's because she took our advice and wrote to her dad."

"What happened?" Lucas asked.

"I don't know," Riley shrugged. "She hasn't told me."

"That's not like Maya at all." Farkle stated.

"So what do we do?" Lucas inquired.

"I honestly have no idea how to help her, but we need to figure something out because however this ends she's going to need us."

Little did they know it had already happened.

Maya trudged through the doorway of her apartment and slung her bag across the room.

"Hey baby girl," she heard her mother call from the kitchen.

Her mom was home? Her mom was never home this early, but as Maya peered into the kitchen there her mother sat at the table, nursing a cup of coffee with infinite amounts of sugar and cream. This could only mean one thing.

"Mom…" she said shakily as she approached the table.

Katie looked up from her mug and smiled at her daughter. "How was school? Did you have a good day?" she asked.

Maya had very little enthusiasm for school on a good day, let alone the last four days.

"It was school. I sat there, the teachers talked, and now it's over until tomorrow."

Katie just smiled weakly, "that good, huh?"

She wasn't having such a good day either and she knew there was a good chance her daughter's was about to get worse.

Maya eyed her mother carefully as she took the seat across from her. "Mom, please don't take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here. You're supposed to be at work and I've never known you to take a day off for the sake of taking the day off so…."She hesitated. "Why are you here? Did something happen?"

Katie looked down at her coffee again and took a deep breath. She didn't want to be the one to do this. Kermit was the one that had decided Maya should grow up without a father. He was the one that had left this gaping hole in their lives. Why did Katie have to be the one to break her daughter's heart? It wasn't fair, nothing about this was.

As Katie's eyes met hers, she knew. This was going to hurt.

She pulled out the red envelope and handed it to her daughter. It was her letter. The words return to sender scrawled out on top of her handwriting. She flipped it over and examined it carefully. It had never even been opened.

"He…he sent it back." Maya fought the tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

Katie reached out and placed a hand on her daughter's. "We don't know that for sure, sweetie. I told you that address was from years ago. He could have moved away. He could have never even been there to see it."

Maya shook her head, doing her best to hide her pain. "Yeah, I guess that's possible."

It was also possible that he had seen the letter and cared enough to even read it. What did she really think was going to happen? Did she honestly think that she would write him after all these years and he would show up with his heart in hand and some big apology that somehow made it all okay? Did she think that he would help her with her homework and take her to daddy/daughter dances?

Though she'd never have admitted it, she had been hoping. She had been hoping that he would love her, that he would want her. She had been hoping that once he realized he had a daughter who needed him in her life that he would want to be there, but the truth was she could be as accomplished as Lucas, as smart as Farkle, or as good as Riley and it still wouldn't be enough to make her matter to him.

Unable to hold them back any longer the tears began to fall. Why didn't he want her? Why didn't he love her? Katie leapt from her seat and just held her little girl as she sobbed in her arms. This was exactly what Katie had always feared. "Why doesn't he love me?" she choked out through broken cries. Her mother just clung to her tighter, uncertain of what to say. There was so much Maya didn't know yet, and Katie prayed she never would. That knowledge would only bring more tears and heartache.


	9. Chapter 9 A Lit Fuse

Riley glanced over at her clock and realized that she had somehow slept through her alarm. She jumped out of bed and quickly threw on the closest items of clothing she could find, some jeans and a purple sweater. If she didn't leave in the next ten minutes she would be late for her father's class. Why does this keep happening, she wondered as she dragged a brush through her tangles. She never slept in like this during the week. Even on the rare occasions she had overslept Maya was usually there to wake her long before last call…wait, where was Maya?

Riley came tumbling down the stairs as she tried to put her shoes on and walk at the same time.

"Riley are you okay?" Topanga asked, but her daughter wasn't paying attention. She was too busy surveying the room.

"Is Maya down here?" Maybe she had grabbed some breakfast?

Topanga placed a plate of frozen waffles in front of Auggie. "No, I thought she was upstairs with you."

"No, she's not here."

Topanga sat a plate down at Riley's place at the table and gestured for her daughter to sit.

"Katie called in sick yesterday. Maybe Maya caught whatever she had?" she had a feeling Katie's sniffles were less influenced by germs and more so by her husband's latest lesson but she didn't want to come out and say so. She'd been happy to give Katie the day she needed, no questions asked.

Riley had the same suspicion. Maya hadn't been herself the last few days, but she was at least present. Maya missed school like Katie missed work, and now both were playing hooky. That couldn't mean anything good. Should she go to Maya's apartment and try to talk to her? Should she give her space? Riley didn't really know what to do, but she knew she didn't have time to sit down for breakfast. She reached out to the plate and took a handful of waffle to eat on the run.

"Sorry mom, don't have time this morning. Love you, bye." She called as she hurried out the door.

"Hey," Auggie said. "Why can't I do that?"

Topanga just chuckled and tousled her son's unruly curls. "Because I believe in being a strong authoritative role model."

"Then why aren't you sitting down?" he eyed her emphatically.

He had her there.

Riley ran through the halls of John Quincy Adams with only seconds to spare. She needed to swap out her books but she really didn't have time if she wanted to make it to class before the bell rang. She turned the corner and smashed right into another student, her books scattering on the floor, folded up papers falling from the pages. She really should find a better place to put her notes she thought to herself as she began stuttering an apology as she bent down to collect her belongings.

"I am so sorry, really I wasn't even looking where I was going. I was in a hurry and I slept through my alarm…" she rambled as she groped around the floor for the items in question. Another set of hands began to intermingle with hers, picking up her stray papers while she stacked her school books into her arms. She knew those hands.

"I think these are yours," Charlie smiled sweetly as he handed them off to her.

"Thank you, and again, I'm really sorry."

Charlie shrugged. "I didn't mind. Feel free to bump into me whenever you like."

Riley nodded and pointed toward her father's classroom. "I should go before I'm…." The bell rang. "Late."

Charlie nodded "See you soon, I hope."

Riley just shook her head and smiled half-heartedly. Charlie didn't know her well enough to know the difference. No one did, it seemed…no one but Farkle.

"Nice of you to join us Riley." Cory stated.

This was part of the job he struggled with daily, how to separate teacher from father. He knew that Riley had been having a difficult time lately and as a father it was okay to let her sleeping in every once in a while. But if he hadn't said something about her being tardy it could appear as favoritism. It was a thin line that he walked daily, and many times he felt as though he strayed from its path.

There Maya sat as Riley entered the room. After crying herself to sleep the night before she had briefly considering staying home, but had quickly decided against it. She was not about to hide in her apartment all day feeling sorry for herself. If she didn't matter to him then why should his rejection mean anything to her?

"Now that everyone is here, let's talk about our assignment. How many of you have completed your forgiveness project?"

A few hands shot up into the air, including Riley's.

"Okay, so we have a few down. How about the rest of you? Farkle, how is your project coming so far?"

Farkle was usually the boisterous overachiever but this time he had nothing to brag about.

"Not too well," he admitted. "It just…keeps getting more complicated."

Cory thought on his student's words a moment. "Interesting. Mr. Friar, Mr. Babineaux, what about you?"

Lucas shrugged "I forgave him."

"I won't be going to the movies with him again, but I forgave him." Zay added.

"Why not? I mean, if you forgave him how can you still be holding it against him?"

"Have you ever seen a movie with Farkle?"

"More than I can possibly count Mr. Babineaux."

"Then you know how. I forgave him for this time, but we know he's gonna do it again. That's just how he is. He can't help it."

"I don't mean to be annoying. I really don't. I just want to contribute. Zay has his comedic input, Lucas…well is there anything he can't do? I just want to show you guys that I have something to offer too. All I have is my intellect, so I solve puzzles and blurt out answers, but I'll try to stop, if that's what you really want." Farkle explained.

"Wait," Lucas interjected. "Farkle is our friend. We're Farkle's friends. Shouldn't we just accept him how he is? Why should he have to ask our forgiveness for just being himself?"

These were the moments that made Cory love teaching. This right here, that moment when the light bulb lit up and the student finally understood the importance of the lesson, made the entire struggle worth it.

"Does that mean you forgive him? Cory asked.

Lucas shook his head and looked over at his friend. "No, because there's nothing to forgive."

"And how about you Mr. Babineaux?"

"I forgive him, for this time, and the time after that, and the time after that, and the time after that…"

"I think we get it." Maya snapped.

Zay raised his hands as if in defense and whistled.

"Someone woke up on the cranky side of the bed this morning." He stated matter of factly.

"Not everything needs your obnoxious babbling commentary. You've already got Farkle apologizing and feeling bad about himself, what more do you want?"

"I said I was sorry." He retorted.

"Actually you didn't…" Riley pointed out.

"Then let me say now, in front of the entire class, how incredibly sorry I am Farkle."

"It's really not that big of a deal. Apology accepted."

"It is a big deal, Farkle! He's saying that you aren't good enough to even watch a movie with. That's how little he thinks of you. He doesn't care how it makes you feel, sitting all alone in a theatre by yourself!" she lashed out.

"At the risk of getting my head bitten off again, didn't you and Riley do the same thing? You stood right out there in that hallway earlier this week and said you'd never go to another movie with him either." Zay defended.

That was true she had. Knowing that he had a point only made her angrier. This is why she had really come to school today. She was a ticking bomb just waiting for someone to strike a match. She had come here looking for a fight, hoping for one, and at the moment she didn't care who she hurt or how much. She just wanted someone to ache the way she was.

"That's not the same thing. Riley and I are his real friends. We've known each other almost our entire lives. You're just the new kid, an outsider." The words came spewing out like verbal sickness.

"Maya!" Riley chastised.

"And what does that make me?" Lucas asked.

"Don't Maya me and don't apologize for me either. Lucas the good and Riley the perfect little princess, you're so quick to tell everyone else how they should be living but you're just a couple of messes yourselves." She spat.

"You, she pointed to Riley, "can't stop trying to save everyone around you."

"And you," she laughed as she pointed to Lucas, "can't seem to finish a single thing you start."

"Ms. Hart, that's quite enough. I'd like you to stay after class."

Maya stared her teacher, her best friend's father, the man who had accepted her as part of his family, down coldly. He was the one who had started all of this. She hadn't wanted to open the Kermit can of worms but he had given this assignment to push her into it, and Riley and Lucas had gone right along with it.

"Why should I care what you want?"


	10. Chapter 10 Bitter Truths

Wow that was brutal." Zay muttered. "That was like a massacre in there."

"More like a volcanic eruption. Now we know how the villagers of Pompeii felt." Farkle noted.

Zay just shot him a quizzical look. "I'm not following you."

"You know, Mt. Vesuvius, mass destruction, everything encased in lava." Farkle elaborated.

"Oh…yeah that sounds about right. Luke still has his deer in the headlights face on."

Now it was Farkle's turn to be confused.

"You know, when you're driving at night and a deer crosses your path and gets that oh crap they're gonna hit me look." Zay explained.

The words made sense but of course Farkle had no frame of reference, not many deer running around New York City.

Lucas hadn't even heard his name. He was busy observing Riley. He watched her carefully as she stood there waiting for any kind of reaction, but she remained eerily calm. She was just standing there lost in thought. He searched her face for a hint as to what she might be feeling but her expression was blank, unreadable. What he wouldn't give to know the inner workings of her mind!

"Hey."

Lucas's voice pulled Riley from the dark corner of her mind. She glanced up shyly, cautiously; afraid that with one look he would see everything she was trying so hard to hide.

"Hi."

He almost said "hey" again, but he caught himself. What had once been natural and habitual now felt awkward and self-conscious. That was the old them, the familiar them…He wanted to go back to the way things used to be. He missed their repetitive greetings, the flecks of gold in her eyes, the way they had once so effortlessly filled the silence between them. He wanted to be…whatever they were before, but that wasn't what Riley wanted. She wanted him to be her brother.

He stared into her eyes, taking in the way they reflected in the light, trying to read her emotions like signs as they flashed in front of him. He had expected the pain that was waiting there, but there was something else…something he couldn't name.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

That was part of the new rules, wasn't it? It was perfectly natural for a brother to care about his sister's feelings… though Riley was certainly no sister to him.

A shadow passed over her features.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to decide what my next move is. You know do I wait for her out here or do I wait for her to come to me?"

Lucas fidgeted with his shoulder strap as he contemplated his next words very carefully. Riley and Maya were unbelievably close, possibly too close in his opinion. They were the very definition of a package deal. He had grown to care very deeply for both of them. He knew that Maya was in crisis right now, and he really did want to help her. Though Lucas tried to remain objective and sympathetic to the cause behind Maya's outburst, watching her go after Riley had reminded him of the person he used to be. In fact, if it had been anyone but Maya they probably would have found themselves staring down his rage.

"After the things she said in there, maybe giving her some space isn't such a bad idea," he suggested.

He instantly regretted his choice of words as Riley leapt to Maya's defense, her brown eyes now searing into him.

"Maya is my best friend. Whatever she says or does we will work through it. She's just hurt and angry right now."

"I know she's going through a lot and I want to help her, I really do. But that doesn't make what she did in there okay." He stated.

"She's just…" Riley groped for the right words, "throwing ice cream."

All three boys turned to look at Riley like she was crazy. They clearly didn't understand the reference.

Zay sent Riley a hard look.

"Well if you want to stay here and wait for her that's your business, but this outsider has class to get to."

Riley sighed "You know that's not how we think of you."

"She's right. From now on it's always been the six of us," Farkle said.

This was a reference Zay did actually understand. Deep down he knew Riley and Farkle were telling him the truth, but Maya's words still stung. He had seen from the very beginning how tightly knit their friendship was, and how his best friend from Texas had become one of them. He hadn't expected to be invited in, but they had welcomed him, embraced him. They had helped make New York home for him, as he suspected they had done for Luke too. But Maya's words were a stark they shared something he could never be a part of.

"I'm going to go too," Lucas said. "I really can't afford to keep missing this class."

Riley just nodded. She understood why they didn't want to wait for Maya. Her words may have been misguided but there was truth in them.

 _Not everything needs your obnoxious babbling commentary…_

Zay did have an opinion about absolutely everything and he loved to voice it.

 _You've already got Farkle apologizing and feeling bad about himself…_

Hadn't they all given him a hard time about his movie spoiler moments?

 _We've known each other almost our entire lives…_

Though Zay wasn't the second rate friend she'd made him out to be they hadn't known him as long. It was an indisputable fact.

 _You can't stop trying to save everyone around you…_

This wasn't the first time that Maya had said this about her. Riley couldn't stand to watch other people suffer, nor could she just sit back and allow injustice to happen. She was willing to admit that she had a tendency to take matters into her own hands, but was it really such a horrible thing to want to help the people around her? She didn't think so. Whether people appreciated her methods or not they always seemed to appreciate the end result. Most were happier and better off because she had intervened…especially Maya.

If she stayed in this hallway then she could confront Maya about the underlying issue. Whatever she had said or done, they would work it out because they were best friends and that's what friends do. Maybe she didn't want to talk about it but she needed to. She had been hurt before. She had been angry before, but never like this. Whatever this was Riley had a feeling it was going to get worse before it got better.

Despite Riley's efforts her mind began to drift to Lucas…next to herself he was the most important person in Maya's world right now. They were practically a couple or at the very least unofficially official. How could he not be here for her? That wasn't like the Lucas she knew. The Lucas she knew would do absolutely anything for the people he cared about. Was it what Maya had said?

 _And you can't seem to finish a single thing you start…_

She had no idea what Maya had meant by that.


	11. Chapter 11 Growing Pains

Maya glared at her teacher as he stood in the doorway blocking her exit.

"Get out of my way Mathews," she demanded.

Cory's heart broke as he stood face to face with her. He could see the exhaustion and residual puffiness of her eyes from the night before. The last thing he wanted to do was add to her situation but she had given him little choice in the matter when she had disrespected him in front of the entire class.

"You know I can't do that, Maya."

"Sure ya can, you just take two steps to the left," she gestured with her hands in the aforementioned direction, "and voila! You're no longer standing between me and the door, or the right side, I don't really care which."

"We need to talk about what happened today." He stated softly.

Maya scrunched her face in disapproval. "Yeah...I'd rather not. So if you'll just excuse me..." She attempted to scoot around him but he wouldn't allow her to pass.

"Seriously! You can't keep me in here forever."

"You can go after we discuss what's going on with you."

The blonde just shrugged. "Nothing's going on." She said very unconvincingly.

"Yes, there is. You like to test people but you're not usually cruel Maya. You deliberately hurt your friends' feelings today."

She knew he was right but at the moment she couldn't find it in herself to care. Everything she had said was true. It wasn't her fault the truth hurts.

"Do you know what happens when you keep hurting your friends on purpose Maya? You lose them. Do you know what happens then?"

"Can we just skip the life lesson for today and get straight to the part where you fail me, already?"

Cory's eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Fail you, what makes you think I'm failing you?"

"Because I didn't do the assignment. I didn't forgive my father, and I'm not going to," she stated with an air of defiance.

Cory hadn't honestly expected her to. He knew that was a process that would take years. He had only wanted her to take the first step, to acknowledge all those bottled up feelings so that they wouldn't poison her from the inside out.

"Maya, I don't expect you to forgive him for anything right now. I just wanted you to confront your own feelings about him so that you can continue to grow and find peace for yourself."

"Well you're brilliant plan backfired Mathews, big time! Because I don't feel peaceful inside. I feel like breaking something!"

Cory nodded sadly in understanding. "And you did."

Maya shot him a vehement look. If he was about to lecture her she didn't want to hear it.

"Anger can be a very useful tool." He elaborated. "It allows us to express our pain and disappointment without revealing our aching soul. It's easier to be angry and empowered than to admit we are vulnerable and someone has found their way through our defenses."

"Is that my lesson for the day?" She mocked, but Cory just shrugged and made his way over to his blackboard.

"No, that's merely an observation," he said as he began to write. "This is your lesson for the day." He pointed to the words on the board.

She read them aloud slowly.

"Lose one friend, lose all friends, lose yourself."

"You haven't failed Maya. You're project isn't finished yet."

"But he doesn't want me," she confessed her voice barely above a whisper. "I did what you asked. I poured my heart out to him in that letter and it came back unopened. Either he didn't want to read it or he didn't even care enough to let us know where he is."

Tears were forming in her eyes again. She was so sick of crying. That was why she'd started screaming to begin with.

"I trusted you. You said I needed to do this and I trusted that you had a really good reason for making me so I did...and now everything just hurts. You said something good would come from this and nothing did! Why should I believe anything you say?"

Cory stood there watching the young girl shatter. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her, but he didn't know how.

"Maya, I never wanted you to get hurt. If it were up to me I would put you and Riley in little plastic bubbles and keep you young and innocent forever, because growth is never easy and sometimes it's painful. But I want all of you to be the best versions of yourself and that means sometimes I have to stop protecting you and just be there for you. Something good can still come from this. I truly believe that."

Maya nodded silently. Cory Mathews was the closest thing Maya had ever had to a father. She loved the Mathews family and they loved her. His words were sobering but they were true. She smirked as she remembered her thought from earlier; it wasn't his fault that the truth hurt.

"Okay, so what do I do now," she asked.

"I can't tell you what to do Maya, but I trust you'll make the right choice."

For the first time she felt shame for her behavior earlier. "I didn't today..." She said.

Cory just smiled. "Sure you did Maya. You could have easily gone the other way," he reminded her as he pointed to the second exit from the classroom. "There was always another door."

She looked back at the alternative exit, nodding with a coy smirk.

"Well played, Mathews," she said before taking a deep breath and walking toward the door.

She was not looking forward to facing her friends after the way she had treated them. A cold fear suddenly gripped her. What if they weren't waiting for her? What if she had driven them away?

She opened the door and her heart sank. They had all gone off without her. She thought again of the words on the chalkboard.

"Hey," a voice came from beside her. She looked down to see Riley squeezed between the locker and doorway, knees to her chest.

Maya smiled at her best friend in the entire world as the brunette untangled herself and climbed to her feet.

"You waited for me."

"Of course. You're my best friend Maya."

The petite blonde stood in shock.

"But I was so mean to you in there."

Riley just looked at her knowingly. "I know you didn't mean it. I'm just grateful you threw words in my face and not ice cream."

Maya laughed at the memory smiling back at Riley. She really shouldn't have been surprised that her weird loveable little goofball was on the other side of the door the entire time. That's just who Riley was, and Maya loved her all the more for it. Maybe she didn't have a dad but she had the greatest best friend any girl could ask for.


	12. Chapter 12 It's Not Me, It's You

Riley sat patiently with her hands clasped in her lap waiting for her best friend to break the silence between them. Maya had seemed relieved to open the door and find her waiting, and in that moment they seemed to be themselves again, how they used to be…but that moment had quickly passed. They had barely spoken the rest of the day, despite having several classes together. When she realized that Maya had no intention of discussing the incident Riley had "bay windowed" and "ring powered" her, leaving her no other choice. Fifteen minutes later Maya hadn't so much as squeaked.

"How long are we going to avoid this," she asked, trying to get the ball rolling.

"Not avoiding anything, Riles. Just life moving on past that thing that happened in class this morning," Maya stated casually. This had kind of become their thing.

"Okay, I don't have a goofy face or gesture for what happened today but we both know what it was," Riley replied.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Maya insisted.

"You blew up like Mt Vesuvius," she said as she made a dramatic gesture with her arms. "Hey look I did find a gesture after all," she said more cheerfully.

"Was that a bomb?" Maya asked, genuinely confused.

"No, a volcano. Don't you listen to science or Farkle at all?" the brunette countered.

"I can honestly say I don't." The blonde retorted, though she couldn't deny she did feel a bit like a volcano lately.

She thought again to the words Mr. Mathews had written on the blackboard. "Lose one friend. Lose all friends. Lose yourself." Riley had been the only one to wait for her after she'd taken a sledgehammer to every friend she had earlier that day. Riley had forgiven her without explanation or apology. She really didn't want to talk about this but she knew Riley deserved both. She had already lost three of her friends…

"So...how bad is it," Maya asked her.

"On a scale of one to ten? I'm not sure I can count that high," she said as she gently shook her head. "You really hurt their feelings, especially Zay."

Maya looked down in shame. She wished she could say that she hadn't meant to hurt them, but that would be a lie. That was exactly what she had intended at the time. While her success had made her feel better in that moment, the thrill had long since wore off, and now she was filled with the fear that she may have gone too far yet again.

"And yours..." It was a statement not a question.

"Yeah...mine too." Riley mumbled as she hung her head.

She could see how guilty her best friend felt, and the last thing she wanted was to add to her pain, but she couldn't deny that Maya's words still echoed in her head and stung to remember.

The blonde looked over at her friend with eyes full of remorse.

"I'm sorry..."

Riley raised her eyes from her shoes to meet the gaze of the girl next to her.

"I know you are. I know you were just trying to make us hear you. I just wish I knew what you were actually trying to say."

Riley was being so understanding about this whole situation. Didn't she understand that Maya didn't deserve her concern or kindness right now?

"Stop doing that!" She demanded.

"Doing what," Riley countered.

"Being so nice to me," she said as if stating the obvious.

"You're my best friend, Maya. Of course I'm going to be nice to you. You would do the same for me."

"Would I?! Riley you're my best friend and I was horrible to you today. I hurt you. And I meant to. You should be yelling at me or avoiding me like the rest of our friends, not in here trying to make me feel better! But of course you're here, trying to save me from myself, yet again."

Riley reeled back as if Maya's words had physically struck her. Her best friend, her sister had _meant_ to hurt her? She had been telling herself all afternoon that it was okay because Maya didn't mean it...but she had. Her words weren't friendly misfire they were grenades, intended to do maximum damage. She had hit each of them where they were most vulnerable and she'd done so on purpose.

"Why? Why would you do that?" She probed.

"You're still trying to fix me, after what I just said? Seriously?" Maya fumed. Why couldn't Riley wrap her pretty little brain around this concept?

"I'm not trying to fix you Maya," although maybe she was, she honestly wasn't sure anymore. "I'm just trying to understand what's happening to you, to us."

"I don't get it any more than you do. Everything is just...different now."

"I know...and I hate it." Riley replied.

"Me too..." Maya said.

"At least we still agree on something," Riley suggested hopefully.

Maya couldn't hold back a smirk. "Yeah, that growing up sucks..." She placed her hand on top of Riley's. "I wrote my dad..." She let her words hang in the air.

Riley had suspected as much.

"What happened," she asked timidly, uncertain she really wanted the answer.

"He didn't say anything. I'm not even sure he got it."

She paused. This was the first time she was really allowing herself to process her feelings. Originally they had hit her like a tsunami all at once, unable to discern one from another. There had been flashes of clarity, but she had never stopped to ask herself what she was actually feeling. Once her world had gotten quiet and the storm had passed, her true feelings had surfaced.

"It just made me realize how out of reach he really is. Even if I wanted to find him I wouldn't know how or where to look. I spent so long believing he was this great guy who was driven away by my mom, like he would be here if it weren't for her. And then I started to wonder if it was me who had made him leave...but the truth is...he was never really there...and he's never going to be."

Riley scooted closer and wrapped her arms around Maya as she began to sob. Unlike the day she had received the letter these tears weren't angry or bitter, they were the tears of silent heartbreak.

"I'm sorry Maya, I'm so sorry..." For the life of her she would never understand how someone could not love her best friend.

"I hate him Riley. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't, and I know I'll fail if I can't let it go…but that just makes me hate him even more. I hate him…and yet all I want is for him to love me. How pathetic is that?" Maya ranted as she tried desperately to wipe away her tears as they kept falling.

"It's not pathetic Maya. You are beautiful and strong and brave. You're cool and talented. Anyone who takes the time to get to know you loves you," Riley said trying to console her friend.

"She's right you know," the girls looked up to see Topanga standing in the doorway as if on cue. She came over and sat on the other side of Maya and wrapped an arm around the young girl they all considered family. "You have a lot of people that love you, my little amazon warrior."

Maya smiled weakly. The Mathews family really did love her. So did her mom. Even Shawn made it a point to be there for her. Sure he was away right now but he called and emailed to let her know she was on his mind. That was more than her father had ever done.

She had a great group of friends…who she had sorely mistreated today…

Maybe she hadn't learned how to forgive her father, but she had learned _something_ about forgiveness. Maybe she could still complete her project after all…


	13. Chapter 13 All Apologies

The next morning Maya was already in her seat when her fellow classmates began filing in. After spending half the night tossing and turning in dread and frustration Maya had finally surrendered and climbed out of bed. She'd spent the rest of the night and most of the morning imagining how her friends would react to seeing her, wondering what they would say if anything. Zay and Lucas were the first to arrive. Both walked right past her without so much as a word or a glance, not that she could blame them after the way she had gone off on them. Farkle had at least looked at her upon entrance, but she had quickly shied away from his tired and knowing eyes. She didn't like what she saw there. Last, but not least was Riley. Maya had left a note at the window telling her friend to enjoy her rest and she would see her at school. Riley had been the only one to stand by her yesterday. She wasn't about to let her think she'd been abandoned two days in a row.

Lucas sat there, confused and conflicted as ever. He hated seeing anyone mistreat his friends and had stood up in their defense on multiple occasions. Zay had been under his protection for almost as long as he could remember, and though his temper had often gotten him in trouble, he didn't regret being there for his friend. He thought he'd put that part of himself completely behind until Billy Ross began picking on Farkle last year. He had wanted to pound the guy into the ground for making Farkle feel like nothing. He had been able to resist the urge but only with the help of his friends. They had changed him, made him better…but that part of him still existed and had come raging full force when he found out that someone was tormenting Riley. She was the sweetest, gentlest, most hopeful person in the world and he would have done anything to keep her that way, no matter the cost. His first instinct was always to protect his friends.

But Maya was his friend too, and she was obviously going through something. In all the time he'd known her she had teased and nitpicked but that was just her way. She was annoying sometimes but she wasn't cruel, and she had been just as quick to defend their friends as he had been. He wanted to help her, he really did. He just wasn't sure how he could.

Ever since their trip to Texas things had changed. Everything looked the same, but nothing was. At first he had tried to do what they had always done, but Riley kept calling him brother and pal and Maya could barely look at him, let alone play their usual game. So he had tried reversing roles, but that didn't work either. He and Maya just sat there in awkward silence and Riley kept hitting him until he had finally asked her to stop. Then she had asked him for dating advice, quite frankly he preferred the punching. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't find his footing in this new alternate reality. He no longer trusted himself to know what to do.

"Good morning class," Mr. Mathews greeted as he rubbed his hands together before clapping them. "Let's talk forgiveness. I see many of you have already turned in your papers on the project."

Much to everyone's surprise Maya's hand shot up into the air.

"You have a question Ms. Hart?" he implored.

Maya shook her head, "More like a request," she corrected.

"Well, color me curious," this was a rare treat indeed. Maya was hardly ever a willing participant in school.

"I'd like to present my lesson to the class," she stated.

"By all means," he said as he gestured to the empty spot at the front of the room.

She took a deep breath and slowly raised herself from her seat. Once she'd made her way to the front of the class she stood there fidgeting with the paper in her hands, afraid to look out into the audience she had insisted upon having.

"We're ready when you are," he urged gently.

"Maya nodded and finally looked up to see dozens of sets of eyes watching her. She really wished she had been able to think of a better solution to her problem.

"Okay…well, at the beginning of this project you said that growth comes from forgiving others for what they've done to us and asked us to forgive someone. You said it was the only way to bring peace. Well, I tried that…but it didn't work. I felt a lot of things but peaceful wasn't one of them. I thought that meant that I hadn't learned anything. I thought it meant that I had failed…but then I remembered you also saying that growth comes from fixing our own mistakes, and while I was reaching out to the wrong person I made the mistake of hurting the people that really matter."

She paused for a moment, feeling the heat of the proverbial spotlight she had shed upon herself.

"I humiliated you and my friends in front of this entire class, so it's only fair that I apologize and do my best to make it right the same way."

First she turned her eyes to meet Zay's.

"I was wrong to say that you weren't a real friend. You may not have been here as long but in the small amount of time we've known you you've stood beside us as we fought to keep a program I love. You were the only one to support Riley in what seemed a hopeless dream of becoming a cheerleader. You worry about us when we get hurt or disappointed. You are _very_ much one of us."

"And Farkle, you are not nothing. You are so much more than your "know it all" brain, and I will go to the movies with you gladly anytime."

"Lucas, Riley…You are two of the very best people that I have ever known and I'm sorry that I made that sound like it was a bad thing. It's not. It's not wrong to want to help people," she said as she looked at her best friend, "or to look before you leap," she continued turning her gaze to Lucas.

"I'm sorry, to all of you. And I'm sorry to you Mr. Mathews," she said raising her hand open palmed. "You have always done your best, for me for all of us, and we've always come out better for it. I shouldn't have doubted you because you were right. I did learn something. Forgiveness isn't just letting people that hurt and disappoint you off the hook. It's also about admitting when you're wrong and hoping that the people you've offended care enough about you to do the same. It's how we get past our mistakes. It's how we keep our friends…how we keep from losing ourselves."

Standing there watching Maya's epiphany unfold before his eyes, he felt like wrapping her in a fatherly embrace or giving her a standing ovation. It was that same surge of pride he had felt earlier that week Riley had come to him with her lesson, but in this room he was her teacher so instead he just smiled and nodded his approval.

"Thank you Maya, and very well said. For centuries countries have gone to war over disagreements and when those wars were finally over a choice had to be made; the choice of whether or not to hold onto past grudges and continue to punish one another or to put our differences aside and agree to move forward. The ability to forgive changes history. Without it we would still be fighting those same battles with those same people to this day. It is only when we are able to forgive and move forward that we can truly progress."

Mr. Mathews continued to ramble on about some dead guy from some country that did something in history, but Maya, wasn't really listening. Her thoughts were on her friends and whether or not they would accept her apology. She knew that Riley had already forgiven her, even before she understood what really happened. Farkle had been the only other one to acknowledge her this morning so maybe he would be willing to forgive and forget. Zay had taken the most damage while she was on her little rampage. He might need further assurance and groveling, which she was more than willing to do if necessary, and then there was Lucas…

What in the world was she going to do about Lucas? It was bad enough that she had yelled at him, but what made it worse is that she had drug their unresolved business from Texas into it. Really it was already involved, it was always there, the big, fat, elephant in the room that they both never spoke of. Did he think about it as much as she did?

Even with all her current baggage it was still there in the back of her mind. It was only a moment, but it was exciting, terrifying, confusing and disappointing all at the same time. When he had taken her face in his hands something happened that she couldn't explain. Her breath caught, her heart pounded wildly. As he looked into her eyes she wondered if he could see all the way through her. She felt like he could. It was like the whole world just stopped. Everything hinged on what happened next. And then he had pulled away and apologized.

What was he apologizing for exactly? Was he sorry for grabbing her like that, for almost kissing her? Was he sorry that he didn't? And why hadn't he? Her mind began back pedaling trying to remember how they got there. Riley had told him Maya liked him and that she didn't and then left them alone. He had questioned her. She denied it. He argued. She mocked him…and the next thing she knew they were frozen in that unspeakable moment. He had to have wanted it, at least on some level, for him to initiate it like that. In that moment she had wanted it too…so what had stopped them?

"Alright class, tomorrow is Friday. Your Forgiveness Project papers will be due on my desk by the end of the period," Mr. Mathews announced as the bell rang.

Maya stood and turned to face Zay, Lucas, and Farkle while Riley stood by her side.

"I really am sorry guys. You didn't deserve any of the rotten things I said."

Farkle was the first to extend the olive branch.

"As long as you know I'm holding you to your movie offer," he said making the others chuckle.

She looked at Zay who smiled at the blonde "I could never could hold a grudge," he teased.

Maya glanced hesitantly at Lucas.

"Are we okay," she asked.

Did Lucas forgive her? Of course he did. Were they okay…?

He gave a small nod and a half smile.

"We're okay," he said as he glanced from Maya to Riley and back again, and desperately hoped his words were true for all of them.


	14. Chapter 14 Between a Rock & a Hard Place

"I want you to read the introduction to Chapter Seventeen over the weekend. That's where we will pick up first thing Monday," Cory announced as his students began packing up to exit.

"Farkle, I'd like you to stay after class."

His friends all glanced back at him wearing expressions of shock and confusion. They wanted to stay and wait for him, but he had assured them that they had all missed enough class over the last week, and they should go on without him. He appreciated their support, but truthfully he didn't want any witnesses to the event about to transpire.

Once they were alone Cory sat on the edge of his desk.

"Do you know why I asked you to stay?" he asked.

Farkle's mind immediately flashed to the folded letter still in his bag.

"I have a pretty good idea, sir." He said matter-of-factly.

"I'm concerned about you. Are you doing okay?"

Farkle had expected a reprimand, maybe even a disappointment speech, but as he looked into his teacher's face all he saw was genuine compassion.

"I'm fine." He responded. Maybe if he said it enough times he would actually believe it?

Cory didn't though.

"In all the time that I've known you, you have never given anything less than one hundred percent to your studies. You're the very first to turn in your work. You take over my class and teach all of us something. You count your A's like collector's items. So I have to ask myself why for the first time in your academic career you haven't turned in your assignment."

This was not how the young boy had expected this conversation to go at all. He wanted to make Mr. Mathews understand, he just didn't know how. He hung his head, ashamed of the words he was about to say.

"I didn't turn in the paper because I didn't write it sir."

"I see…Did you learn anything about forgiveness this week Farkle?"

He nodded. "I did, but all my lessons came from the lessons of others. I learned about accepting people for who they are. I learned about forgiving someone without receiving an apology. I learned about asking for forgiveness when the responsibility is ours to take."

"And what did you learn from your own confrontation?" Cory asked.

Suddenly the boy who always had the answers stood there silent in the face of an academic question.

"You didn't confront the person you wrote to, did you?"

"No sir." Was all he could say.

"I see…" Mr. Mathews said knowingly.

He got up and went over to his computerized gradebook and inserted a letter under Farkle's name.

"I guess you're giving me an zero for the project."

It wasn't even a question. It was the only logical conclusion. He hadn't turned in the paper and therefore he would fail the assignment.

"It's not an F, Mr. Minkus, it's an I." Cory explained.

"I don't understand…"

"It means incomplete. You wrote the letter, but for whatever reason, you chose to stop halfway through. Grades go out in approximately five weeks. I'm giving you until then to complete the project."

Farkle didn't know what to say. On one hand he was appreciative of the second chance he was being given, but he couldn't see how the reasons he had kept the letter to himself would be any different five weeks from now.

"What if I can't," he implored.

"Farkle why wouldn't you be able to complete the assignment?"

Cory knew there had to be more to the story. The student in question lived for academic success. He would never just refuse to do the work.

The boy hesitated trying to think of the best way to articulate the root of his dilemma.

"Because…I believe that it would be selfish…possibly hurtful…and that's not the kind of person that I want to be."

Cory wished he could give Farkle a free pass. Whatever subject he had chosen it was clearly weighing on him more than his instructor had ever anticipated. Unfortunately it was too late for that. If only he would open up and ask for help maybe Cory could do something, but Farkle didn't seem to want to talk about it with him, any more than he did the offender he'd written to.

"If you decide not to complete the assignment, then I'll have no choice but to give you a zero for the project, lowering your semester grade."

Farkle had never gotten anything less than an A. There was that one time in science class where he had almost failed, but Riley's refusal to drop the marble and the understanding they had come to together had prevented that tragedy. Now here he was again, in danger of being less than the best. What would his parents say? His dad was so proud of his grades. What would he do if Farkle's perfect record was blemished?

He had five weeks to decide. If he didn't deliver that letter he would surely disappoint his father. If he did deliver it there was a very good chance he would disappoint himself.

Mr. Mathews scribbled an excuse on a notepad and handed to him.

"For what it's worth, I hope you make the right choice Farkle." Cory said.

"Thanks Mr. Mathews. I hope so too." He replied.

If only he knew which choice was right...


	15. Chapter 15- Defenseless

Maya laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. It was early Saturday morning and she was supposed to be meeting Riley at Topanga's soon. As much as she loved her best friend she wasn't particularly excited to see her. It wasn't that Riley had done anything wrong. In fact, Riley could do no wrong. She didn't know how. She was like a teenage Mary Poppins; practically perfect in every way. The image of Riley in that ridiculous frilly dress and bonnet popped into her head and she couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. 'I guess that makes Huckleberry the guy that dances with penguins' she mused inwardly. After all, Riley had said he was going to be a veterinarian.

She groaned as she glanced over at her electronic clock. She had half an hour to be ready and out the door. She didn't want to go to Topanga's or anywhere for that matter. She just wanted to lay in bed and maybe work on some sketches, but that wasn't an option. If she didn't go, they would come barging through her window, except Zay who would insist on using the door.

She could feel them all watching her, waiting for a reaction. As if her floor show in history class that day wasn't enough already. What did they expect her to do? Cry? Scream? Curl up in a ball in the corner? None of that would change anything. Crying wouldn't make him come back. Screaming wouldn't make him listen. No matter what she did or didn't do, at the end of the day, it would all still be the same.

Only it wasn't, not really. Maya had spent so long putting distance between herself and that loss. She had worked so hard to pretend like she didn't care about anything, especially the things that mattered most to her. She had been faithless and hopeless, but she had felt protected by those notions.

Just then she heard her computer beeping. She had a skype message. Maya jumped up excitedly and accepted the call. The window opened and Shawn Hunter's face appeared on her screen.

"Hey kiddo, how've you been?" he asked.

The blonde just shrugged "Can't complain. How's Vermont?" He was currently there doing a piece on some small bed and breakfast joint there.

"If you actually read my work you wouldn't have to ask," he teased.

"You know I'm not a big fan of reading," she replied.

Reading had never come easy for Maya. She read slower than all the kids in her class. She had a hard time figuring out the words. And her mind constantly wandered when she was supposed to be focused on the assignment. Eventually she had just given up.

"I thought you liked your English teacher this year?" Cory had told him all about Harper and the campaign Maya and Riley had spearheaded to keep her around.

"The teacher yes, the reading, not so much." She ran a hand through her hair and glanced over for the time. She was officially late but Riley would understand. Riley always understood.

"I'm glad you called." She finally said.

Maya had thought Shawn asking her mother out would be the beginning of her dream come true, but once again the universe had smacked her down and said no. She didn't know exactly what had happened on their date, or maybe it was after the date that things went south. She really wasn't sure…but when her mom had casually stated that they weren't going to see one another again Maya had feared she would lose him too.

"I told you that I'd always be here for you Maya, and I meant it." She could hear the sincerity in his voice and it made her smile.

"Thank you for that,' she said as she began to fight back tears.

Shawn immediately began to panic. "Oh no…are you crying? I made you cry again? Please don't cry. I don't know what to do when you cry."

She couldn't help but laugh at his response, even as the tears fell down her face. He was such a guy, but he was a good guy, and he really cared about her. She began brushing her cheeks on either side to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I just can't help it." She stammered.

He could see how deeply she was hurting and it broke his heart to know she was in so much pain. He wanted to help, but he didn't know anything about kids or girls. What if he said the wrong thing and made it worse?

"Are you okay?' he asked, not knowing what else to say.

She was finally beginning to regain her composure. She brushed under her eyes one final time and took a deep breath.

"I'm fine Shawn." She said flashing a small watery smile. 'I'm always fine." She told herself.

"I really hate to do this but I'm running late to meet Riley. Will you be coming back this way anytime soon?" She wouldn't beg him or anyone else for their time but she really did want to see him.

"Uh, yeah, maybe. Hopefully." He said.

"Will I see you when you do?" she asked somewhat timidly.

"Of course, you're my new partner in crime, remember?"

This time her smile was genuine. "Great! I'll see you then,'

"See ya, kid."

Maya logged off and threw on the first clean shirt and jeans she could find while dialing Riley's number.

"Hello," Riley chirped into the phone.

"Hey honey, sorry I'm late. Shawn and I were skyping but I'm on my way now," she rambled as she balanced her phone between her ear and shoulder while slipping on her black knee high boots and a matching jacket.

"Alright, see you soon." Riley said before hanging up the phone and glancing over at Farkle.

"You should tell her." He repeated for the fifth time in the conversation.

Riley reached for her smoothie and began playing with the straw, rotating it in circles.

"No, I'm not going to do it." She stated firmly.

Farkle sighed in frustration.

"She deserves to know Riley." He countered.

"There's no point Farkle. The truth would only make things worse. Why hurt her if I don't have to?"

He wanted to argue with her, but how could he? Wasn't he doing the exact same thing by refusing to deliver that letter?

"Okay, I give, for now. But I still say that you should tell her.

"Tell who what?" the blonde asked curiously.


	16. Chapter 16- Two Can Keep a Secret

"Tell who what?"

Both heads snapped up to see the object of their discussion standing behind them eagerly awaiting an answer. Riley's mind instantly began to race. Had she and Farkle been so wrapped up in their conversation that they hadn't seen or heard her come through the door? Just how long had she been standing there and more importantly how much had she overheard? She began replaying the moment in her head searching for any hint that may have given her away.

Farkle was sitting there asking himself all the same questions. However, unlike Riley, he wasn't panicking over her presence. He welcomed it. Clearly she hadn't heard everything but hopefully she'd heard enough to put the pieces together and end this mess once and for all.

Maya bent down placing her hands on the back of the sofa.

"So…who are we telling what now?" she asked, her eyes dancing with mischief.

Both of her friends sat there silently. One was desperately groping for any reasonable cover while the other was pleading with her to tell the blonde exactly what she had walked in on. Riley's thought's flashed to one of Maya's paintings, her first sign of hope. She understood why Farkle hated lying to their friends. She hated it too, but it was the only way she could keep her promise. Whatever she felt for Lucas, had felt she corrected, it wasn't worth jeopardizing their friendship or their happiness.

"I get building suspense but this is ridiculous! One of you please just spit it out already!" Maya exclaimed.

"You!" Riley blurted out. "We were talking about you."

Farkle felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders with those words. Finally, the moment of truth had come. He figured Maya would be upset with Riley at first, she may even be upset with him for agreeing to keep her secret, but she would understand. After all, if what Riley had said was true, Maya had done the same thing for similar reasons.

"We were talking about how I needed to tell you…that…I gave up my turn so that Farkle could pick the movie this time."

It wasn't the best explanation in the world but it was the first one that had come to her.

For a split second he thought she would tell Maya the truth, but she hadn't. Honestly he shouldn't have been so surprised. Riley was the kind of person that would always do what she believed was right, and despite the deception, she thought that's what she was doing. She had walked away from Lucas in order to make Maya happy. She had gone out with a guy she didn't even like to assure everyone that she was okay and they had her permission to move on. Now she was even giving up little things like her choices in order to keep it going. Oh what a tangled web we weave, he thought to himself as he looked over at Riley. Her eyes were begging him not to betray her confidence.

It wasn't really a lie she rationalized, not a new one at least. It was merely an extension of the secret she was keeping. That wasn't really a lie either. It was more of a work in progress. Maybe she didn't actually see Lucas as a brother, yet, but she would…eventually…hopefully. She would just have to distance herself from him until that day finally came. The thought was like a knife in her heart. She wanted so badly to keep him close, to always have him there to talk to, and he would be as her brother. She had gotten Maya through that door, just as she had promised. It would be incredibly selfish to take it all back now.

Maya tilted her head back and groaned. She thought the world of Farkle, but his taste in movies, not so much. A devilish smile played on her lips as she turned her back and fell between them on the sofa.

"I have a better idea. Let's just stay here. I've got a great view of the ceiling."

Riley glanced up "It's very…blank."

"It's symbolic for the meaninglessness of movies," Maya whispered.

"You did promise to go to the movies with me whenever I wanted," the boy reminded her.

"He's right, you did." The brunette concurred.

Maya glared at them a moment before twisting her head into position in Riley's lap and allowing her legs to fall over on top of Farkle, sprawling out on top of them.

"You can't go anywhere if I'm on top of you. Looks like I win," she mused with a smirk.

The two friends exchanged a knowing look, coming to a silent agreement. They smiled as they lifted her body and stood from the sofa and began to walk toward the door, all three laughing uncontrollably.

"Come on guys, I give. Put me down!" she cried. "You can't carry me like this all the way to the theatre." She stated.

"She may have a point Riley, the turnstile at the subway station alone would be quite an obstacle."

Maya continued to squirm and sway. "That's right, listen to the genius," she called.

They shrugged before gently releasing Maya onto the floor.

"Now which one of you dorks is going to help me up?" she asked raising her hands into the air. Farkle and Riley each took one and lifted her to her feet.

"Alright Dorothy and Scarecrow." She said as she wrapped an arm around each of them, "we're off to see the wizard." She looked over at Farkle pointedly. "That was just a joke. I don't actually want to watch wizards," she clarified.

The trio laughed again as the exited the bakery arm in arm.


	17. Chapter 17- Roots, Wings, Places We Lean

**Alright my lovelies, I couldn't sleep so two updates in less than 24 hours. Can't promise to make it a habit but enjoy ;)**

Shawn closed his skype window and returned to the blank page that was supposed to be his latest assignment. He stared at the empty screen, drumming his fingers on the keys like a piano. He'd spent the last two days trying to force the words out. Every once in a while he would have a sudden burst of creative thought, only to read over the choppy sentences and end up deleting them. Apparently he had done something to offend the writing gods and inspiration was no longer accepting his calls.

He leaned back in his chair with his hands knit behind his head. "Now's not the time for writer's block" he grumbled in frustration. Maybe if he took his mind of the article the words would come to him? Accepting temporary defeat he minimized the useless document window and opened up his folder of saved photographs. The screen began to flood with a million different beautiful landscapes, buildings, and sunsets; all of the places he had been over the years. Maybe he hadn't travelled as much as some but he had certainly seen and done more than most. He'd wandered the world from one wonder to another, going wherever his soul desired and his boss would pay for, and he'd thoroughly enjoyed it. However, there was one thing his heart craved that his gypsy lifestyle never provided; a place to call home.

Technically speaking Philadelphia was his "home," but since his father had died and so many of the people he cared for had moved on, it hadn't really felt that way. He clicked on another folder, this time faces filling his screen. He saw Cory and Topanga, his childhood friends and the greatest love story of his generation. Some days he felt fortunate to have had a front row seat to their journey. Other days it felt more like a curse; witnessing something he wanted but seemed just out of reach. He wanted what they had, what they were. He'd thought he'd had it once, with Angela, but no matter how much they loved each other or how hard he'd tried, for whatever reason it hadn't been meant to be.

When she had left that fateful day with her father he had honestly never expected to see her again. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined she would come to him seeking answers to her own questions. He had assured her that she should be a mother that the world needed more of her in it, and he had truly meant that. In turn she had given him some parting advice as well. She had told him that the world puts people in our lives to prepare us for whatever our destiny is. His purpose in her life had been to prepare her for her husband now, and insisted that it could do the same for him if he would take a chance on someone else...and so he had.

He clicked on a picture of two beautiful blondes; a woman and her teenage daughter.

Shawn had thought that maybe they were his second chance. He had grown very close to Maya in a short amount of time. The very first time he met her she had made quite an impression. She was guarded, a little competitive, and fiercely protective over her best friend. Maya walked around with a devil may care attitude that other kids would interpret as confidence and cool, but he knew that act well and recognized it for what it was.

She really was a great kid, a child anyone should be proud to call their own. His blood had boiled over at the thought of a child completely tossed aside and forgotten on her birthday. How many birthdays in the trailer park had he pretended were just an ordinary day because no one else bothered to treat it as if it were special? He had never been able to spare himself that pain, but he had every intention of making sure Maya didn't have to feel that way.

He'd strolled into that diner like the big bad wolf, ready to huff and puff until her world fell down around her. Katie Hart was no little pig and she did not appreciate having her priorities as a mother called into question. It was then that he'd learned how skewed Maya's perception of her parents really were. She wasn't nearly as alone in the world as she saw herself. Her mother loved her deeply and was truly devoted to her daughter's happiness and wellbeing. She'd had good intentions letting Maya think better of the man who had left them both, but he knew what they both really needed was one another, and so he had gone against Katie's wishes to reunite them.

Still she needed someone to believe in her and be there, and that's what he had promised to do. He wasn't her father, but he did feel as though they belonged together somehow. He wondered if that was how Turner had felt about him all those years ago. Something had clearly been wrong this morning. She could tell him she was fine until she was blue in the face but he knew better. He flipped open his phone and began combing through his contacts.

Katie was already at Topanga's doing her usual routine of service with a smile. Farkle, Riley, and Maya had just left for the movies and she was cleaning up the table in front of the couch when her phone went off. She knew it wasn't her daughter's ringtone so she ignored the beeping and continued to work, but her mind couldn't help but wander.

Cory Mathews had turned their world upside down with his forgiveness project. At first she had been furious and made no effort to hide it when she had plastered his face in coconut cream pie, but eventually the anger subsided and she'd realized her rage had been misplaced. Her ex-husband was the one who had made the original choices that set these events in motion. She carried a certain amount of blame in this situation as well. She was the one who had built Kermit up to be someone worth wanting to find.

She had spent the last week hating herself for setting her baby girl up for this great fall. Maybe she should have just been honest from the beginning...or when Shawn had told her that he'd left them...even this week when that letter had come back unopened. Katie had had so many opportunities to come clean with her daughter, but when it came right down to it she didn't have it in her. She didn't want Maya to ever know the kind of man her father had been...or that she had been the kind of person to end up with someone like him. She had done everything in her power to make her daughter feel loved and valued and truly wanted. Her biggest fear was that one word of the awful truth would wash all of that away and leave her little girl in pieces.

Her phone went off a second time. Whoever it was they clearly weren't going away. She glanced around to make sure everyone in the bakery was content and without need before sneaking in back to check her messages.

Shawn Hunter:

Hey, I was just wondering if everything is okay with Maya. She seemed upset when we talked today.

Shawn Hunter:

I don't want to overstep my boundaries. You made your wishes clear and I respect that, but I care about Maya and I promised her I'd be there for her. Please, if something is wrong I'd like to help.

Katie leaned against the counter for support contemplating how to respond. She hadn't spoken with him in months, not since their one and only date. The date itself was quite nice. There was no fancy dinner or awkward silence, they had simply sat and talked. It was the first time she had felt genuinely connected to someone other than her child in a very long time, and for a moment she had thought maybe she could let him in, but in the end her fear had won out.

She knew that Maya had been hoping for more. The truth was that she had too. He wasn't her walking talking fantasy, but he had a good heart, he adored her baby girl and she couldn't deny that there was something there between them. He didn't deserve her distrust. He deserved the best of her, all the parts of her she had foolishly given to the wrong person. Of course she hadn't known the kind of man she had actually married at the time either. They all seem wonderful in the beginning...

Shawn could have walked away completely after she sabotaged any chance they had at a relationship, but he was determined to be present in her daughter's life. It was the first pleasant surprise either of them had had in a while. He had more than proven he could be trusted where Maya was concerned.

Katie Hart:

I appreciate that Shawn, but I'm not sure what you could do to help.

His response was almost immediate.

Shawn Hunter:

I'd like to try.

...

If you'll let me.

When he put it like that how could she say no?

Katie Hart:

She had a project at school about forgiveness. She tried to contact Kermit, but the letter was sent back. I don't know if he saw it or not, but she took it pretty hard.

Forgiveness project? That had to be Cory's idea.

Shawn Hunter:

I see.

...

How are you taking it?

How was she taking it? She had been so consumed with concern for Maya that she hadn't stopped to ask herself that question.

Katie Hart:

Honestly? Not great.

Katie had made it very clear that they had no romantic future, but that didn't change what he felt. She was an extraordinary woman who had been through hell, and yet somehow had managed to raise an incredible teenage girl all on her own. Once he had started getting to know her it was easy to see that Maya was in every way her mother's daughter. He wasn't sure exactly what they meant to one another at the moment but the one thing he was certain of was that right now they needed him.

Shawn Hunter:

I'm turning in this article and coming home.

He suddenly had the perfect motivation to finish this assignment and someone to return to.


	18. Chapter18-Without Direction Full of Fear

Lucas threw the small Styrofoam ball into the hoop for probably the fiftieth time that morning. Usually he would be spending the day with his friends, but not today. Being around the girls was had become exhausting. He had no idea what to say around them or how to act. He spent all day every day going over everything in his head trying to figure out how they had all gotten here. He would dissect their every word and gesture, searching for hidden meanings. He would guess and second guess every move he made. He was constantly wondering if he was sitting too close, saying too much; what was appropriate behavior around which girl.

From the moment he had met them on the subway it had been simple. They were both beautiful, but their effects on him couldn't have been more different. His first encounter with Maya had been like a drive by. She'd amused him as she walked over and began rambling about their impromptu imaginary relationship. He had sat there confused and entertained, uncertain of what to say, not that it mattered. She had walked away just as quickly as she'd come before he could say a word. Apparently she'd had no interest in his actual response. The boldness of the blonde had left him speechless, and he had wondered if that's what all these big city girls would be like, then Riley had fallen into his lap.

Catching her had been an act of pure reflex. As her deep brown eyes met his he realized she was just as taken aback by the moment as he had been. She'd blushed and smiled nervously while introducing herself, and he had taken a small satisfaction in the fact that her apprehension mirrored his own. They had barely gotten past introductions before she had left his lap (for the second time that morning) and the subway, but her presence had lingered, and he had hoped that he would end up seeing her again.

Even now Riley still lingered on him. He knew he was only torturing himself remembering all their stolen glances and special moments. He was her brother now. He would never have his moment. She would never be his girlfriend. They would never hold hands or kiss again. All the things he'd imagined sharing with her were suddenly gone.

He sighed to himself remembering their first date; the way she had looked coming down the stairs and onto the platform. He hadn't been prepared for that moment. He had seen her every day as her friend. He'd often thought to himself about how pretty she was and he found her little dances and quirks absolutely adorable, but standing there watching her walk toward him…She'd stunned his brain into silence. She had taken his breath away.

He hadn't wanted to cut their evening short. He'd wanted to take her to the movies, share the popcorn, accidentally touch hands…all the things Mr. Mathews had ranted about earlier that day, but glancing over at Maya and then seeing the look on Riley's face he knew that was where she wanted and needed to be. That was the kind of person that she was, and he would never want or expect her to be anything less.

Lucas had sat there watching Riley and Maya together on the subway. He was certain he'd made the right choice but he was still a little disappointed about what experiences he may have given up that night. What were the chances they would ever be here like this again? It had taken a lot of arm twisting and some sacrifice on Maya's part to even have this opportunity with Riley. Suddenly Riley was flying backwards once again and he was more than happy to reach out and catch her. They had playfully acted out their first meeting. He loved when she did things like this; the things that set her apart from the crowd were what he adored so much about her. Before he could even process what had happened she had taken his face in her hands and began pulling him to her. Riley Mathews was going to kiss him.

He couldn't describe what he felt in that moment even if he'd wanted to, mainly because he'd never felt it before. He'd had little flutters here and there, on the subway, in the library, when they were at the school dance…but she had given him his first taste of something foreign and wonderful. The only problem was that he had no idea what in the world was supposed to happen next.

He tossed the ball again, but this time he missed.

"Figures" he muttered to himself.

Somehow, someway, he'd missed his chance with Riley.

Lucas shot up and reached for the phone. He was beginning to feel like Tombstone in the starting gate, all pent up frustration. He had to get up and do something, anything to take his mind off everything.

Zay and Lucas walked down the sidewalk with no destination in mind. Lucas hadn't specified any activity or place, he'd just wanted someone to hang out with and Zay had been more than willing to assist.

"So where you wanna go?"

Lucas just shrugged. "I don't know."

"What you wanna do?"

"Don't know that either," was all he said as he placed his hands in the pockets of his brown jacket.

"So then why am I here?" Zay questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Cause I invited you and you said yes?"

"Look man, we go back a ways and all, but do you honestly expect me to believe that I'm your first choice in company right now?"

"Why else would I call you?" Lucas asked defensively.

"I don't know cause you're tired of sitting awkwardly with the saucy blonde and don't want to run into Gardner hitting on your former sweetie pie?

Leave it to Zay to say exactly what Lucas was trying so desperately to ignore.

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way," he bit back.

"Me?" Zay placed his hands on his chest dramatically feigning innocence. "What did I do?"

Lucas looked over at his friend, his frustration beginning to boil again.

"You were the one that just had to tell Gardner that Riley broke up with me, and don't say he made you."

"Earth to Luke, she didn't dump you, man. You were never actually going out."

He wanted to argue with that statement but he couldn't. He and Riley had never put any kind of label or expectations on what they were. They had called themselves friends, but they'd also admitted they liked one another. She had always been free to like other people or date other people. So had he. They just never had…until now. It wasn't fair to blame Zay for Riley going out with Charlie. All he had done was let Gardner know she was available. She was the one that had said yes…

Zay liked to stir up trouble, keep things interesting, but he never meant for anyone to get hurt. Looking at Lucas it was easy to see that he was in agony, though he wasn't really sure which part had his best friend so twisted up in knots. He hadn't been there to witness the beginning between Luke and the girls but he'd certainly heard enough about them, and they had both made quite an impression.

His first preview of Lucas's new world had been a rather telling one. At first glance Riley was exactly what his friend had described; adorable and sweet, but when he had accidentally revealed Lucas's dirty little secret about his past he had quickly seen a different side to the bubbly brunette. Turned out there was a scary little warrior woman behind those Bambi eyes and happy smiles. Whatever they were it was obvious that she cared deeply about Lucas and her opinion mattered greatly to him. That was also the very first fight he had ever seen his buddy walk away from without throwing a single punch.

Then there was the blonde beauty. Maya wore her rough edges proudly, it was rare that she lowered her defenses enough for anyone to see the girl hiding behind the wall, but Lucas had managed to break through a few times. Zay couldn't say that he was surprised really. That's just the kind of guy his best friend was. What Maya desperately wanted and needed was someone that cared enough to make an effort, and that was Lucas's best event. It was obvious that Maya and Lucas were attracted to one another on some level. She'd almost melted the day Riley poured that bucket of water over Luke's head and he'd almost tripped over his tongue when he'd seen Maya all countrified. He'd never seen Lucas's eyes pop out of his head like that around Riley…of course he'd never seen Lucas look at Maya with that goofy expression he wore around Riley either.

"I'm sorry Zay, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's alright, I've seen you wound up before, remember. I'm kind of used to it."

That's exactly what Lucas was afraid of.

"And I'm sorry about the whole Charlie thing, I mean, you said you liked the guy. I thought you were friends. I didn't know that he'd pounce on Cotton Candy Face like that. Tell you what, let's go chill at the movies. I'll buy you some popcorn and chocolate to make up for it," Zay patted his buddy's shoulder and smiled wide. "Unless you're wanting to try licorice instead?"

The look on Lucas's face said he wasn't amused.

"Okay, I get it, not funny. Shutting up now."


	19. Chapter 19- Running Into Yourself

**Hello my darling darlings, thanks to another sleepless night I get to update on the daily. Keep in mind I haven't been to the movies in like three years so I just picked something and went with it. I have no idea if it was actually in theatres at the time or not. Follows, Faves, and Reviews are always welcome. Have a wonderful day!**

Maya rolled her eyes and whined emphatically "Come on Sparkles! I said NO wizards."

Riley looked over at her clearly puzzled. "Why do you call him sparkles?"

The blonde shrugged "How many words do you know that rhyme with Farkle?"

Farkle gestured to the poster advertising THE HOBBIT "We have to Maya. We've seen all the others. Don't focus on the wizards. Focus on the hobbits and elves. There's fighting. You like fighting."

Riley hadn't heard their exchange. She was too busy going through the alphabet searching for another word to rhyme with Farkle's name. Gargle kind of rhymed but not really. What about Quarkle? Was Quarkle a word?

Maya pointed straight at Riley. "This is your fault. You let him pick the movie."

She looked past Maya and straight at Farkle "Is quarkle a word?"

"I don't believe so," he said having no idea where that came from.

Riley addressed Maya "Then no, I don't know any words that rhyme with Farkle."

"Sparkle!" Zay announced himself from behind as Lucas stood awkwardly next to him. "What? All I heard is word that rhymes with Farkle."

The blonde lifted her finger in objection. "I already called that one."

"Oh."

Lucas stood silently watching Riley, then Maya, then Riley again.

"Hi," his eyes were on his sort of but not really sister.

"Hi." She responded sheepishly. It didn't mean anything if she said hi. It was just a harmless greeting. Not saying hi, now that would be suspicious, and rude.

He turned his head to face his sort of but not really girlfriend.

"Hi."

"Hey." Why does this feel so weird, Maya wondered.

"We're watching The Hobbit, you guys want to join us?"

"But I thought it was Riley's turn," Lucas implored.

"It was but she forfeited to quarkle here." Maya explained.

"Maya, quarkle's not a real word," Riley reminded her.

"And Farkle's not a real boy, what's your point?" she jested.

"I'm standing right here, you know." Farkle fumed. "And I AM a real boy."

"Okay, five tickets for The Hobbit please." She smacked Farkle's arm. "Give the nice lady your credit card so we can get this over with."

Farkle paid for their tickets and they entered the theatre. He and Zay agreed to get the snacks, leaving Lucas alone with the girls to find seats. This was exactly the kind of situation Lucas had been trying to avoid. They all three looked at one another awkwardly and began walking toward the screen room showing their movie. Riley slowed her pace and began to walk behind them so that the couple could share a moment alone.

"Come on Riles, put some pep in your step," Maya called as Lucas held the door open for the girls. Riley smiled awkwardly before dropping her gaze to her feet as she walked. Most of the time he found her little quirks adorable, but it bothered him the way she was always shying away from him. Did sisters not look their brothers in the eye? As if reading his mind she glanced up meekly and mumbled "thank you," as she brushed past him.

"Two large popcorns, a bag of gummy bears, an order of nachos, some chocolate and, Zay you want anything?"

He waved off the suggestion with his hand "Nah, popcorn's fine man, besides you ordered enough for a small army."

Farkle laughed. "Yeah the gummies are for Riley, the nachos are Maya's and Lucas mentioned something about chocolate the other day."

Zay flashed back on the exchange between Lucas and Gardner. Whoever heard of popcorn and licorice?

"You really know those girls, don't you?"

Farkle grinned with pride "I know my girls."

Zay and Farkle gathered up the snacks and headed for the theatre viewing The Hobbit.

"Between you and me man, I think you're much better at liking both girls than Lucas is."

Farkle nodded as Zay grabbed the door for them. "That's because I love them both the same."

Everyone took their seats as the house lights dimmed and the previews began to roll. Farkle had actually chosen pretty well. There was something for everyone and the group became enthralled in the film…all but Lucas.

He tried not to think about Riley brother zoning or almost kissing Maya. He tried to stop wondering if this was the same theatre Gardner had taken Riley to, what movie they had seen, or if she had liked popcorn and licorice. Instead he focused on the way she rooted through the bag of gummy bears until she'd found all the red ones. He watched as she'd bitten their heads off because she was trying to be humane and give them a painless noble death. During one scene she'd been so scared she'd accidentally grabbed his arm and he wondered if touching hands in the popcorn felt anything like this.


	20. Chapter 20- The Ripple Effect

It was almost normal, Lucas thought to himself as he took in his surroundings. The group had been happily reunited. Maya was no longer in crisis. It was just a couple of friends sitting at a lunch table enjoying one another's company. For the last few weeks everything had been awkward and backwards. Like a pebble thrown into a pond, everything had rippled out into currents and waves, but right now things appeared to be settling down. Maybe there was hope of whatever this was becoming nothing but a distant memory, he thought. And then Charlie Gardner waltzed up and tossed a boulder right into Lucas's calm pond.

"Hi Riley," he greeted her with a smile.

"Chahlie Gahdner" Maya exclaimed in her 1950's announcer voice.

Charlie just gave her a strange look in return. She did this every time she saw him and he still didn't really understand why.

"That's my name," he declared nervously rocking back on his heels.

Riley smiled politely. "I didn't know you had this lunch."

"That's because he doesn't," Zay pointed out.

"He's right I don't," he said gesturing to the boy at the end of the table, "not usually anyway, but I had a makeup test that messed with my schedule so here I am." He shrugged as he spoke.

"Would you like to sit with us," she asked.

She wanted to like Charlie, and the only way to do that was to spend time with him. Plus if she ever succeeded and he actually became her boyfriend it would help if he were friends with her friends. Lucas had already given him the seal of approval. Now he just had to win over the rest of the Riley committee.

Lucas sat silently with his hands tightly gripping the sides of his tray. He was not going to get angry. He was not going to lose his temper. He was not going to be "Texas Lucas." Riley didn't like "Texas Lucas." She didn't like "New York Lucas" either, at least not the way he thought she had. He didn't like watching this guy constantly pursue Riley and he really didn't like the way Riley encouraged it.

He should have just asked her to that stupid dance. Why had he assumed that they were going together? As much as Lucas hated to admit it, he had left the door open for Gardner or anyone else to come strolling in. He had thought being awkward and not being able to talk was the worst thing that could happen. If he had known what was ahead he never would have broken up with her. Then he wouldn't have almost have kissed Maya and Riley wouldn't be inviting her new unofficial boyfriend to have lunch with them.

How many times had he wished that moment at the campfire had never happened? Did he wish that because it was with Maya, because it was confusing, or because it changed everything? It wasn't an unpleasant experience exactly. Everything after it had been uncomfortable and confounding, but the moment itself wasn't horrible. He didn't know what he felt when he looked at her holding her face, but he had definitely felt…something. But if he wanted Maya, then why did he feel like beating up Charlie for looking at Riley or talking to her?

"I'd love to, but unfortunately I've got to have lunch on the go today. My teacher is waiting for me, but umm, if everything has calmed down since we last talked I'd like to take you out Saturday?"

Lucas ground his teeth. This guy really had no shame did he? First he asked Riley to the dance when he knew that Riley and Lucas liked each other and now he was asking her out right in front of him?

Riley looked to Maya, as if asking her permission.

"It's alright honey. Go if you want to."

Maya wasn't really sure how her best friend felt about Charlie. It wasn't something they had discussed, but surely Riley wouldn't have gone out with the guy if she didn't like him, would she?

She glanced around the table, first at Lucas then Farkle and Zay, who was humming the jeopardy theme signifying that they were all awaiting her answer.

"duh, duh duh, duh, duh, duh, duh," he sang rather loudly.

"A little louder, I don't think Mathews heard you in the teacher's lounge,' Maya teased.

Go if you want to…did she want to? Did she want to go on a date? Maybe. Did she want to go with Charlie? Not exactly. Did she want this dull ache to stop attacking her every time the subject of Maya and Lucas came up? Yes! She wanted that more than anything. She wanted to make peace with the way things are and the only way for her to do that was to move on, and if she had to move on and like someone new, why not Charlie?

He was kind of cute and really sweet. He was respectful of her parents and nice to her little brother. He had been considerate of her boundaries and more than patient with her. As far as boyfriends went she could definitely do worse.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

He hadn't actually expected her to say yes, he had hoped, but that wasn't the same thing. He began to gesture with his hands nervously.

"I know a place that does mini golf? We can hit a few balls, maybe talk a little. They have great milkshakes too."

"Milkshakes and mini golf it is."

Lucas could just see it now, Charlie standing with his arms around Riley "teaching" her how to hit the ball. He tried to shake the image from his mind. Riley wasn't his girlfriend, she was free to go out with whoever she wanted, and for whatever reason she wanted Gardner. What did he have that Lucas didn't? Why was he the "brother" and Charlie was "boyfriend" material? Not that Lucas wanted to be her boyfriend.

"Great, I'll call you after school with the details?" he suggested.

Riley nodded while poking at her mashed potatoes with her fork. "Okay."

"Okay," he beamed in response. "Talk to you soon."

And then he was gone.

While Lucas had been watching Riley, Maya had been watching Lucas. If he was trying to hide his disdain for Charlie he wasn't doing a very good job of it. She could practically see it radiating from Lucas's very being. He didn't want Charlie at this table and he didn't want Charlie near Riley. How long was he going to fight this? Riley had told him how she felt why couldn't he just accept it and move on?

Farkle didn't seem to like the idea much either. His every pore emanated concern, though Maya had no idea why. Charlie seemed okay, a little bland, but a nice enough guy. He didn't make the hairs on her neck stand up or anything. She wasn't his biggest fan, but Riley really seemed to like him, so she was willing to try for her sake. Did they know something she didn't or was Farkle just jealous too?


	21. Chapter 21- The Dip Theory

Farkle looked up at the chalkboard and didn't know whether to smile or laugh. He stretched out his hand and poked Riley on the shoulder until she craned her head to look at him. He smiled and pointed to the words on the chalkboard.

CAN THERE BE HONOR IN DECEPTION?

"You have got to be kidding me." Seriously? She would expect this sort of "nail on the head" strategy from her father but this was English class.

The class finished taking their seats as the bell rang and Harper stood at the front of her class holding up Cyrano De Bergerac.

"Can there be honor in deception?" she asked. "When lying is wrong can the intention make it right?"

It's like they knew. Somehow, someway, they always knew. Riley slunk down in her seat, afraid the subject would somehow shed her secret to the world.

"Our hero of the story deceives Roxane, in order to help Christian woo her and secure the happiness of his friend and the woman he loves."

"How can he be the hero if he's lying to everybody?" Farkle asked.

"Because he's doing it for all the right reasons Farkle. He's just trying to do what's best for everyone involved." Riley disputed.

Lucas's ears perked at her comment. There was something very familiar about that last phrase.

"Interesting dilemma, isn't it?" Harper asked. "Cyrano is brave, witty, devoted, but he's also very insecure. Christian on the other hand is physically attractive and bold, but lacks the wit that Roxane desires. These two men come together to create her ideal partner: Christian's looks and Cyrano's words."

"So what you're saying is that Cyrano is an idiot and Christian's a jerk," another student commented.

Harper just smiled with amusement. "Things are never that black and white. I want you all to read the play this week and write a paper answering the question on the board. I've already assigned you partners on the sheet next to the door. Tomorrow we'll go over the themes of Act One."

Maya bounded up to the piece of paper searching for the name of her partner.

"Cheese Souffle? This ought to be interesting." Maya muttered.

Riley found her name with her finger and followed it to the list of names on the other side.

Riley Mathews…..Lucas Friar

Lucas was standing behind the girls looking over their shoulders at the list. "Looks like you and I will be working together Riles." He smiled genuinely happy to have an excuse to be near her.

She glanced back smiling awkwardly at Lucas. "Looks like," was all she could say before marching up to Harper at her desk.

"You've been talking to my father, haven't you?" she accused.

"I'm just following the lesson plan Riley."

Lucas walked over next to her, trying to hide his nervousness. "So, how do you want to do this? Do you want to work on it at my place or should I meet you at yours after school?"

Riley hadn't been alone with Lucas since well since Maya had stormed off in Texas threatening to never speak to him again. They used to spend hours just the two of them talking, laughing, watching cuddle bunnies. She couldn't count the number of shoes he'd lost that year for being in her room…but that was before. They needed to be somewhere out in the open.

"What about Topanga's," she suggested.

Lucas gave her a wary expression "I don't know, it can get kind of crowded in there. It could be distracting."

She hated to admit it but he did kind of have a point. Okay, where could they go to work on their paper that was quiet enough to focus and would still allow them to be around other people?

"What about the library?" she offered.

Lucas smiled at her suggestion. He liked the library. It was where he and Riley had first learned to talk to one another. He'd told her things that night he had never told anyone before. Maybe returning to the place they first connected would help them find their way back to one another?

"Sounds like a plan. Tomorrow after school?"

Riley smiled her first genuine smile in weeks. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Maya stood by the door her hands in her jacket pockets watching Riley and Lucas talk about their paper. If she was being honest she didn't like the idea of the two of them working together. She knew that Riley didn't have feelings for him and she'd done everything she could to make him understand that, but it wasn't hard to see that Lucas was still holding out hope for that to change. Over the last few weeks she'd watched him get his hopes up just to have them fall back down again. Maya knew first-hand how exhausting and painful that was. Josh had been doing it to her ever since her knees had first buckled at the sight of him. Of course Josh had never held her face in his hands or looked at her like that either.

"So are you and Lucas like a thing now?" Charlie asked. It was creepy the way he was always just popping up out of nowhere.

Maya shrugged. She didn't really want to talk about this, especially not with a total stranger. "I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure that out."

"But you want to be right?" He clearly wasn't going away.

Did she want to be with Lucas? She wanted to make fun of him. She wanted to see him pick up Riley's bed with one arm. She wanted him safe and part of her life. She didn't hate having his hands on either side of her face or his eyes boring into hers. She'd wanted to kiss him. Was there a word for that?

"I don't know. Maybe." That wasn't the answer Charlie had wanted to hear. Why couldn't Maya just own her feelings for the guy and go after him full force? Getting Riley's attention was only half the battle. He needed someone to make the cowboy forget all about her. Charlie didn't like the fact that he was always waiting in the wings, ready to use the friend card to stay close to her.

"Just be at Topanga's tomorrow after school so we can get this done."

Charlie dismissed himself from the conversation. He'd wanted to wait for Riley but she was obviously distracted with Friar and he needed to get home. He had a feeling he'd end up doing most of the work on this paper.

Lucas smiled at Riley one last time before turning away. He'd smiled politely and nodded to Maya on his way out, not sure what else to do.

"So, you and Huckleberry, huh?" she tilted her head toward Riley.

"And you and Charlie." Riley responded.

Yep, things were certainly about to get interesting.


	22. Chapter 22- Strange Bedfellows

Maya was already sitting on the couch with a smoothie in hand when Charlie showed up. He was wearing his usual toothy grin as he walked over and sat down on the other side of the sofa, distancing himself as far away from the blonde as possible. He gestured to the beverage she was holding.

"You're not gonna pour that on me are you?" Apparently her little stunt with Lucas had managed to travel around the entire school. It was a great Maya story.

She swiveled the straw around in circles and smiled coyly.

"That depends on whether or not you have anything interesting to say."

He chuckled nervously. He didn't know anything about Maya other than what he had observed in class and heard through the grapevine.

"We could talk about Lucas. We know that he interests you."

Her smile instantly faded and he was sure he was about to find himself covered in fruit smoothie.

"Or we could talk about Riley. You find her interesting. We have that in common."

Maya just scowled. She didn't know Charlie personally, but she didn't like the way he was always butting into their personal business or the way he was always sneaking up on them. 'Maybe I should put a bell on him or something,' she thought.

"Or we could just talk about the stupid book," she suggested running a hand through her hair. He'd been here less than five minutes and he was already rubbing her the wrong way. No wonder Riley had insisted on a date with no talking.

"Oh, okay," he stammered as he pulled the book off the top of the pile he'd brought with him.

"Geez cheese soufflé, how many books do you think you'll need for one paper?" Maya teased as she noticed the small mountain of materials he'd set on the table when she wasn't paying attention.

"Well, to be honest I thought I might end up writing this one solo. I heard that you're not a big fan of homework. Something about a riot in history complete with sparklers and sprinkler systems. I also heard that you fall asleep in science class a lot. I figured better to be safe than sorry."

She sat there wondering for a moment if this was the way people really saw her. She turned to look at Charlie grabbing her copy of the book off the table.

"Better sorry than safe," she snapped.

"Okay," he said as he began thumbing through the book. "So do you wanna start then?"

"Start what?" She seemed genuinely confused by his question.

"The discussion…what do you think of Cyrano?" He elaborated.

Maya thought for a moment. She hadn't actually read the book yet. It would take her forever to get through it, but she had looked up the sparknotes on the movie.

"I think Cyrano was smart. He realized he was wanting something he couldn't have and decided to give it up instead of torturing himself."

Charlie smirked and nodded.

"So it doesn't bother you that he lied?"

"He did what he had to do to protect himself." That was certainly something she could relate to.

"Let me guess you're all morally outraged by his dishonesty?"

Charlie shook his head.

"Not really, no. He did what he had to do to get what he wanted. I do think he's an idiot for just handing the girl off to his buddy though."

"So would you lie to Riley just to "get" her?" Maya asked.

"To Riley? No. I wouldn't do that. Would you give Friar up just to make her happy?"

Would she?

"What I'd do doesn't matter. She doesn't want Lucas. She didn't even want to be his partner on this project." Maya stated defensively.

Even Charlie "Cheese Souffle" Gardner knew that wasn't true. He could see it when Lucas had interrupted their first date at the bakery, and again in the hallway when he'd asked her out a second time. Wasn't Maya supposed to be Riley's best friend? How could she not see what was clearly right in front of her? Not that he had a problem with her going after the cowboy, in fact he preferred it. Maybe he could use this time with Maya to both their advantage?

"So I guess we agree then, Cyrano did what was right for him and that's what matters."

She wasn't sure why but there was something about agreeing with Charlie Gardner that made her feel, for lack of a better word, icky.

"Guess so." She chimed.

"Wonder if Riley and Lucas are working as well together?" he said looking over at Maya to study her reaction.

"The moral compass and the princess? I'm sure it took them all of five seconds to condemn Cyrano."


	23. Chapter 23- Hallowed Ground

The last bell of the day had just rung and Lucas was waiting at the door for Riley. He fidgeted with the strap on his bag as he watched her gather the last of her things, still talking to Farkle about something. She glanced up and smiled at him as she walked over to the door.

"Hi."

"Hey."

She didn't say it again.

"So I was thinking that we could just walk over together, if that's okay?"

Riley tilted her head, the perfect picture of innocence and confusion.

"Why wouldn't that be okay?" she asked.

They stood there awkwardly just grinning at one another, neither knowing the answer to that question. Finally she let out a nervous giggle.

Lucas raised his arm gesturing to the door, "ladies first."

As they walked to the library he thought about their second date when he had asked to hold her hand. He thought about the way her hand had felt when she'd laid it inside his and interlaced their fingers. It had been soft and warm and kind of made his hand tingle. It had been strange and unfamiliar too, but still nice. He kind of missed that feeling now.

Stepping into the library was like stepping into church; reverent and sacred. This place carried such significance for the two of them. Riley was beginning to think she would have been better off studying at his house or hers, the bakery, mars or even Pluto…anywhere but here. They stood in almost the exact same place as they had a year ago, just as awkwardly.

Caught in the nostalgia Riley couldn't help but look over at him and when she did she found that he was already watching her. Lucas had seen her almost every single day, but he realized now how long it had been since she'd allowed him to get lost in the golden flecks of her brown beauties. It was almost like the first time, except now he knew her so much better and needed her so much more.

Riley hadn't meant to get swept away in his gaze and their memories but she couldn't help it. She missed the feel of him staring down into her, exploring her soul. Oh god! What was she doing? She quickly turned her gaze to the floor, terrified of what he may have seen in that unguarded moment.

She walked forward to the table and laid her bag down on top of it. "We should get started."

"Right," Lucas mumbled not even trying to hide his disappointment.

The both took their seats and pulled out their copy of the book.

Lucas watched Riley flip through the pages. She was nervous, but why? Did brothers make their sisters nervous? Maybe she wasn't nervous, maybe she'd seen the hope in his eyes and it had made her uncomfortable? He was trying to accept the role he'd been given but he couldn't help but resent it. He didn't look at Riley and see a sister. He saw magic and wonder and sunshine, but not a sister.

"So what did you think of Cyrano so far?' he inquired.

She shrugged as she continued to focus on the book in her hand.

"I think that he's a good guy in a really crappy situation, but even though it's hard he does the right thing and I think that's admirable. It's not easy watching the person you have feelings for be with someone else." She hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. "At least I don't imagine it would be." She added, hoping it would cover her Freudian slip.

He flashed to the memory of Charlie and Riley in the cafeteria yesterday. She was right, it wasn't easy at all.

"Yeah, but don't you think he's kind of taking the coward's way out? I mean he doesn't tell Roxane how he feels or ask her what she wants, he just up and decides she couldn't possibly love him and pushes her toward someone else."

Were they still talking about the book?

"Someone she's clearly attracted to, Lucas. Someone that he knew would love her the same way he would. How many girls do you know that would honestly choose Cyrano over Christian?"

That would be like choosing summer rain over fire, or pretty over beautiful.

"You. If there was anyone I know that would look past the physical and appreciate a person for who they are instead of what they seem I thought it would be you."

Riley wasn't quite sure how to respond. She looked up from her book for the first time to glance at him timidly.

"I'd like to believe that."

But hadn't she done the exact same thing as Roxane going for the cute new boy in school?

"Riley you always find the good; in people, in things, in every situation. And then you shed a light on it so everyone else can see it too. It's just who you are."

It was one of the things he loved most about her.

'He has no idea how wrong he is' she thought. Try as she might she had yet to find the good in their current situation.

She sighed and raised the book to signal a subject change.

"We should get back to the book." She said.

Lucas nodded again. He'd been excited for this; to be here with her again, to sit and talk without the pressure of the world watching them or the tension between them. He'd hoped that she would look at him the way she had that night as she'd propped her head on her hand and asked him to keep talking. He was beginning to realize that even here, in this place, nothing was the same. She may never look at him like that again.

"I think what Cyrano did was wrong." He stated flatly.

"I don't think it's wrong to make the people you love happy." Riley rebutted.

"Even if you're lying to them and taking away their choices?" Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could Riley of all people think this was okay?

"They don't know that. All they know is that they're happy and they love each other." She stated, clearly invested in her argument.

"And what happens when the truth comes out? Even if they're happy in that moment do you think they'll still feel that way once they know everything?" Lucas seemed just as invested in his view as she was hers.

"Obviously he doesn't intend for the truth to ever come out." Riley replied.

"But it always does eventually. You know that."

'Not always…' she thought.

"We're obviously just going in circles. Maybe we should finish the book and then regroup?"

Lucas didn't want to go, didn't want this time with her to be over, but he couldn't deny they were at an impasse. Once she finished the book she'd see that Cyrano's lie didn't end well. He hadn't actually read the ending but that was the only way it could go, right?

"Okay," he said putting his book back in his bag. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Okay," she agreed, "but let's work at my place instead."

Lucas thought about asking to walk her home, but decided against it. He was afraid that she would say no and it was easier to accept the unspoken implication than to actually hear the words. Maybe they would never be whatever they were before, but there had to be some way to feel close to her again. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take this.

She couldn't do this again. It was hard enough keeping her distance in public with everyone else around, but here alone with Lucas? Five seconds alone with him and she'd all but melted into a puddle. If he looked at her like that again he'd see the truth hiding in her eyes for sure. She couldn't let that happen. She had to do something to fix this.


	24. Chapter 24- The Hero Returns

Riley barged through the door of her apartment and marched straight up to her father. She pointed at him, her finger only millimeters from his face.

"You!" she accused. "You've been talking to Harper, haven't you?"

Cory scoffed rather unconvincingly.

"Well you know she's a teacher. I'm a teacher. I see her in the teacher's lobby and we talk, about teacher things."

Riley arched her eyebrow and inched closer to his face.

"Things like me?!"

Cory scoffed a second time and began speaking with his hands his voice rising slightly in pitch.

"You're her student. You're my student. Your name may occasionally come up, as a student."

Maya suddenly burst through the door.

"What's up Mathews?"

She quickly picked up on the tone of the scene in front of her.

"Oooh, looks like you're in trouble. What'd you do?"

Riley glanced back toward Maya, "He's been talking to Harper about me!"

Maya huffed. "Who doesn't he talk to about you?"

Suddenly Maya's phone began going off. She checked the id, her smile widening as she read the name.

"Hey Shawn," she said with a little more enthusiasm than she'd intended.

"Hey kid, how've you been?" he asked her through the phone.

Between the stuff with her friends and the stuff with her dad, pretty lousy, but she wasn't about to say that.

"Oh ya know, still here." She replied trying to be as vague as humanly possible. She didn't want to lie to Shawn, even if she couldn't tell him the truth.

Suddenly he was standing behind her in the open doorway of the Mathews apartment with his finger over his mouth and his phone still in hand.

"That good, huh?"

Maya spun around when she heard his voice behind her. Before she had time to think about what she was doing she ran over and hugged him, shrieking his name.

"Shawn! You're here! You're really here! When did you get back?"

She was firing questions at him so fast he didn't have a chance to respond. Instead he just chuckled and hugged her back. He had missed this while he was away.

"I'm always going to come back Maya. I turned in my article this afternoon. I'm off the clock so I thought I'd come see the people I care about most in the world."

He'd just implied that she was on that list of people and for reasons she couldn't name she suddenly felt herself on the verge of tears for the second time that week. She rolled her eyes and tilted her head back willing them to disappear.

"Ugh! What did you do to me Mathews?!"

"Yeah, what did you do to her Mathews?" Shawn imitated.

Cory raised his hands in defense.

"I didn't do anything! At least I don't think I did, this time."

He looked over at Riley who was watching Shawn and Maya with a goofy grin on her face. Maya didn't understand why she was suddenly so vulnerable with him but Riley did.

"So tell me about you, your life? What are you studying in school?"

"We're reading a story about some guy with a big nose who plays matchmaker between his friend and the girl he's got the hots for." Maya explained.

Shawn pointed toward Cory, "The dip!" he shouted enthusiastically.

"Turner would be so proud" Cory sighed.

Riley and Maya both gave each other a bewildered look. They weren't sure what just happened but it clearly meant something to the two men.

"Okay, why don't we let you two catch up? Maya and I can go hang out in my room." Riley suggested.

Maya looked over at Shawn warily, afraid that if she went upstairs with Riley he might be gone again when she came down.

Shawn seemed to understand exactly what she was thinking.

"It's okay Maya, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

The blonde smiled brightly before climbing the stairs.

Shawn waited until the girls were upstairs and out of earshot.

"You! I've got a bone to pick with you."

"Oh no Shawnie, not you too." His voice was rising again.

"I heard about your forgiveness project. What were you thinking Cory? Haven't Maya and Katie been through enough without you dredging up Kermit," his stone face suddenly twisted into a fit of laughter. "I'm serious Cor," but he couldn't stop laughing at that name.

"I can see that," Cory mused. "Awful protective of those two, aren't you Shawnie?" He noted.

"Well I mean, you know, I care about them. Maya's a great kid and Katie, well she's a good person. They don't deserve this." Shawn stuttered and stumbled through his defense.

Cory nodded knowingly and the two men took a seat at bay window downstairs.

"I know that Shawn. Do you honestly think that was my intention? Maya and Katie don't see it yet, but something very important happened during that project." Cory explained.

"What's that?" Shawn asked.

"They both grew Shawn, and that growth will lead to healing. That's all I wanted."

They sat together in silence as Shawn contemplated his best friend's words.

"You know you're starting to sound like Feeny."

Cory just smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Shawn nodded and smiled too. "You should."

Cory turned to look at his friend, "You really like them, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do."


	25. Chapter 25- Rising to the Surface

**Friendly neighborhood galpal here, first of all thank you for the many reviews, messages, follows, and faves. They are always welcome. I'm going to do my best to keep updating daily (most likely in the evenings/night) but school is back in session so please if for some reason I miss a day, be patient. I won't leave you hanging long. ;)**

"Now explain to me how this is better than picking up gorgeous girls all day long?"

Zay was standing on the sidelines in gym class watching Lucas channel his frustration into sports. He lifted the ball over his head and prepared to shoot.

"Because right now girls are the source of my problem," he let the ball fly and sink into the basket. He picked up another ball and took aim.

"Too bad you're not as good with girls as you are with sports," a familiar voice called out.

Charlie Gardner was suddenly standing against the doorway, a cocky grin on his face. Lucas was really starting to hate that face and the way it kept popping up like a human whack a mole. It was hard to believe there had been a time not too long ago when he wasn't constantly following Riley and provoking Lucas.

"Luke's good at everything he does. Everybody knows that." Zay stated matter-of-factly.

"Everything but keeping Riley," he taunted.

Zay pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. This fool clearly had no idea who he was messing with. Lucas had been slowly losing his cool ever since they'd come back from Texas. Whatever Ghandi mentality he'd picked up since moving to New York wouldn't last much longer if Souffle didn't backpedal fast.

Instead Lucas just smirked. "Feeling a little threatened Gardner?"

"By the brother?" he said mockingly, "not a chance."

Lucas pulled his hands into a fist. God what he wouldn't give to wipe that smug look off Charlie's face, but then how would Riley react? Lucas may not have any use for the guy but she seemed to like him. She was going on dates with him and inviting him to spend time with the group. He obviously meant something to her. He'd love to hurt Charlie, but not if it meant hurting Riley in the process. They were barely speaking as it was.

"So it doesn't bother you at all that I'm going to be alone with her in her bedroom today after school?" he asked knowingly.

Just because he couldn't punch him didn't mean he couldn't give just as good as he got.

Charlie's smile faltered for a moment, but then he remembered the ace in his back pocket. This was a perfect opportunity and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. His smile grew even wider, if that was possible and his eyes twinkled with malice.

"Why should it? She's only working with you because the teacher wouldn't let her change partners and I'm the one that's going to be kissing her goodnight this weekend." He dropped the bomb and then walked away, knowing he'd achieved the damage he'd intended. As long as Friar believed Riley was over him Charlie stood a chance.

Zay stood there mouth gaping open, eyes wide as saucers.

"That guy's as phony as a three dollar bill, and I think he's part ninja or something. Seriously do you ever hear him coming? Cause I sure don't. No one does. You just turn around and he's there. It's crazy, and kind of scary."

"Yeah, I don't like him."

Lucas just grabbed another ball and tried not to think about what Charlie had said. He knew that things with Riley were a little rocky at the moment, but what Gardner said couldn't be true…could it?

Riley was pacing in her bedroom anxiously awaiting Lucas. She had begged Harper to let her switch partners but she'd refused. "Whatever problems you're having as a group you'll have to work through together," she had said. 'I can do this. I can do this.' She repeated it like a mantra over and over again. All she had to do was avoid his eyes and put as much distance between them as possible.

She turned to find Lucas climbing through her window, just he had done a million times before, but for once he didn't seem happy to see her. 'That's good,' she told herself. That should make this easier, right?

"So I ran into your…Charlie, today. He said you asked to change partners?"

Riley's brows knit in confusion.

"How did he even know about that?"

"So it's true then?"

Lucas didn't really care how Charlie knew. What mattered is that Riley was slowly cutting him out of her life. First she didn't want to be with him anymore, then she stopped talking to him, and now she couldn't even be bothered to do a school project together?!

"Did I do something to you that I'm not aware of? Because I have done EVERYTHING that you've asked me to and you just keep pulling further and further away from me. You actually used to like spending time with me. You said that I was one of your favorite people to talk to. And now all of a sudden it's like you don't want anything to do with me!"

He hadn't meant to let her see this side of him again, but he couldn't help it. His frustration had been building ever since things had started changing. He wasn't angry that she didn't like him anymore, he was hurt and disappointed, but that wasn't what was setting him off.

"What are you talking about Lucas? We see each other all the time." She argued.

"Yeah, we see each other but Riley you don't talk to me anymore. You barely even look at me. And now you don't even want to work with me? Don't you miss me at all?!"

Of course she did, every second of every day. She would see something funny and want to tell him about it but know she couldn't. She would go over every memory they'd ever shared in her head when she was alone at night because it was the only time she was allowed to want to feel close to him. She'd watch him with Maya and slowly die inside a little, but she couldn't tell him any of those things.

Riley and Lucas both sat down at the window, needing it's magic to wash over them.

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you Riles, it's just…you're really important to me. I feel like I'm losing my best friend and that hurts me."

She looked up at him timidly. "I..I'm your best friend?"

Lucas couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in a wry smile.

"Well yeah, I mean, we're all friends, really good friends, but you and I, I mean you know things about me that no one else does. I just kind of thought that was a mutual thing between us."

Did she really not know this? Why hadn't he ever told her before now? And how many other things had he held back that he should have said when he'd had the chance? Would things have been different if he had?

"I'm still your friend Lucas. I'll always be your friend. I'm sorry if it hasn't seemed like it lately. I just think it might be kind of weird for Maya, you know, us working together. She hasn't said anything but I remember what it was like when it was you and me, and then the two of you would have these intense moments that everyone would comment and speculate on. She doesn't deserve that.

A wave of guilt washed over him. It may not mean anything to her now, but it obviously had at the time. How had he missed that? And then he thought of Maya. If he and Maya were whatever he and Riley had been was he doing something wrong right now by seeking Riley out? Would this hurt Maya the way it had Riley? He really needed to figure out what the heck they were. He didn't like the idea of hurting either girl, or betraying the girl he was "dating." He wanted to be better than that.

"So you did this for Maya?" he asked.

She nodded and smiled weakly. "Not just Maya. I did it for us too; you and me. I wanted us to do well on the assignment and you and I can't even seem to agree on what stance to take on the paper. I just figured it would be easier for you to work with someone else. I really wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just trying to do what was…"

"Best for everyone involved," he cut her off. She glanced up at him questioningly. No one but Maya had ever read her mind before.

"You say that a lot lately."

She gave him another watery smile. "Maybe that's why I sympathize with Cyrano. It's kind of funny, isn't it? People always said that you and I didn't make a good couple because we're too much alike, and now we can't even agree on a stupid paper."

He'd never realized how invested everyone else had been in their unofficial thing. He'd never realized the things people were saying that she had heard.

He looked up at her again and caught her gaze. He couldn't help but smile.

"Guess we showed them," he said.

"Yeah, I guess we did."

They sat there silently trying to figure out where to go from here.

"Are you really okay with Cyrano's lie?"

"Not really, I mean, I know lying is wrong, and I'm sure he hated lying to the people he loved too, but if the end result is the happiness of those people, I think it could be worth it."

She was hoping at least.

"I still think he did the wrong thing," he said flatly, "but, I can understand why he did it."

She tilter her head toward him in that way she did when she had a question she couldn't answer.

"Did we just find a topic for our paper?"

He nodded, feeling strangely hopeful for the first time in months, though he wasn't sure why.

"Yeah, I think we did."


	26. Chapter 26- Man VS Dude

Katie was wiping off the counter when she looked up to see Shawn coming through the door of the bakery. She ducked under the counter and began nervously adjusting her hair. Just because she couldn't date him didn't mean she didn't want him to think she was pretty. She watched as he and an older gentlemen entered and took seats on the sofa. He was tall, dark, and rather attractive but he wasn't the one Katie had her eye on.

She hadn't seen Shawn since the night of their date. It had been the first one she had been on since Maya was a toddler. In the beginning she had been desperate to find a father for her child, someone who could stand in the empty space that Kermit had left, but she had soon realized that she and Maya didn't need a man in order to be a family and given up her mission.

Shawn left Turner sitting on the couch as he walked over and knocked on the edge of the counter. Katie felt ridiculous as she slowly rose to greet him.

"I was just…looking for something…down there," she pointed toward the floor and giggled nervously. She'd been caught red handed and she knew it.

"Can I get you and your friend anything?" She asked, automatically defaulting into waitress mode.

"Uh, yeah, some coffee would be great."

Had talking to women always been this difficult?

She poured some coffee in a cup and handed to him, their fingers brushing. She smiled in spite of herself as he chuckled nervously.

"It's a fresh pot and everything." she said feeling awkward.

"Sounds great, thanks."

He shuffled back to his seat and tried to remember what it felt like when he didn't care what girls thought of him. He had been so smooth with his patent hair flip and bad boy appeal, now standing here with Katie he just felt awkward and silly.

"Huh, interesting." John said as Shawn sat down next to him.

"What?" Shawn responded.

"Man insists on going to Topanga's bakery where there appears to be a very pretty waitress working."

Shawn raised a hand as if to signal his old mentor and friend. "John."

Turner just shrugged.

"Man goes over to order coffee from said waitress, but hasn't touched said coffee since he sat down."

"Stop," Shawn insisted.

John just smiled and continued his little game.

"Man seems to get defensive whenever his good buddy John brings up pretty waitress."

"Okay, enough already! I get it. It wasn't cute when I did it, and it's not cute now. Please, no more "man" sentences." Shawn stated.

The older man grinned knowingly and opened his mouth to speak.

"Dude's got a problem with the word man."

They shared a chuckle over the moment before John swatted Shawn's arm.

"Seriously, it's obvious you like the woman. Just go over there and ask her out. Take a chance. What's the worst that could happen? She says no?" he urged.

"Actually no, the worst that could happen is already asked her out."

John wore an expression of surprise that melted into friendly ribbing.

"She turn you down?"

Shawn chuckled nervously again. What had this woman and her daughter done to him?

"Yeah, no. She actually said yes, and we went out. It was a little awkward at first, but I think that's just because neither of us had dated in a while. Once we got to talking it was fine. We talked and laughed. I had a good time and she seemed to too. It was a little awkward at the end. Neither of us were sure what to do, but I thought it went okay."

John nodded, "So then what happened?"

"I don't know," Shawn shrugged.

"She texted me a few days later and said she'd had a good time but she thought it was better if it was a one-time thing."

Turner's face scrunched up as if in pain. "Ouch!"

"Yeah."

The alarm on John's phone went off indicating that it was time for him to get back to the school for his meeting. They shook and hugged before parting.

"You better come see me before you leave town again," he said pointing his finger at Shawn.

"You bet I will."

Shawn stood there a moment lost in thought. He looked down at his coffee cup that he'd barely touched and smiled. He picked it up and carried it over to the counter. She looked up from the nearby table she was clearing and smiled at him.

"You didn't have to do that. I would have gotten it."

Shawn just shrugged and smiled.

"It's not a problem, really."

She noticed it was still almost completely full.

"Was there something wrong with the coffee?" she asked or was he just looking for a reason to talk to her she wondered.

"The coffee was fine. I just got caught up in my conversation." He explained.

"Oh," she seemed satisfied with that answer and was about to go back to work.

"Actually I came over to talk to you about something. I'm going to be in town for a while and my boss sent me tickets to an exhibit opening Friday. I thought maybe I'd take Maya? I know that she likes art and I just thought she might enjoy it, but you know, I wanted to run it by you first."

Katie's smile covered her face. He was so invested in her baby girl. It had frightened her at first. The last thing she wanted was Maya getting attached to someone that wasn't reliable and wouldn't be sticking around but she'd quickly found out that Shawn Hunter was no ordinary man. He was genuinely devoted and determined not to let Maya down.

"Absolutely! I'm sure she will love that."

Unsure of what else to do, and exhausting his excuses for contact he clapped his hands together.

"That's great, thank you. So I'll pick her up Friday?"

Katie smiled and nodded.

"We'll see you then."


	27. Chapter 27- Rainy Days with Daddy

Shawn and Riley were sitting at the sacred bay window. He'd been downstairs with Cory when she had called for him from the top of the stairs. He wasn't sure he liked this window. It seemed like every time he sat there he was put on the spot. It felt more like an interrogation room that teenage girl's bedroom.

Riley looked at him with the most serious face she could muster, her smile threatening to break through.

"You have plans with Maya tonight?" She asked already knowing the answer.

He nodded wondering how Cory's strange little bird was managing to intimidate him.

"That's right, I do." He said.

She nodded, trying her hardest to maintain her solemn expression.

"I need to know, exactly what are your intentions with my best friend?"

Was she serious right now? She was the one that had introduced them and pushed them into getting to know one another. Shouldn't she be happy about this?

"Well, tonight I intend on taking her to an art exhibit I have tickets to." He explained.

She couldn't hold it in anymore, she let her smile spread from cheek to cheek.

"Peaches will love that."

She donned her business demeanor again.

"That's not what I meant though. What are your intentions?"

He'd gotten less strife from fathers of girls he'd dated over the years.

"Well," he cleared his throat nervously, "what I intend is to be there for her, to listen when she needs to talk, to buy her new clothes when she cries, and to let her know that she's not as alone as she feels."

Riley smiled again, even wider than before.

"Good answer. You can go now."

"So I passed?" Shawn asked anxiously, not sure why he cared what she thought.

"With flying colors!"

Shawn got up from the window and made his way downstairs where Topanga was in the kitchen helping Auggie with homework.

"She gave you the intentions speech?" she asked him.

"Yeah, it was a little strange. Cor and I weren't that weird, were we?"

"Oh you were worse. You were married before I ever got the ring and his last name."

The two friends just laughed.

Maya was upstairs in her room trying to figure out which outfit Shawn had bought her to wear tonight. She realized he was a guy and he probably didn't care, but she wanted to look nice and for him to be proud of her. This was their very first outing just the two of them and for some reason it felt like a really big deal.

Suddenly Maya heard a knock at the door. She was nervous and excited and she didn't even know why. She heard murmurs of voices from down the hall. She assumed he and her mom were talking about something. She peeked out the door to find them standing awkwardly, groping for words. It kind of reminded her of the way Lucas and Riley used to act around one another, before Riley realized her feelings for him weren't romantic. Did that mean her mom thought of Shawn as a brother too? Could that be why they hadn't gone out again?

"You about ready baby girl?" Katie asked when she saw her had poked out in the doorway.

"Yeah, just let me grab my phone and we can go."

She walked back over to her mirror and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Why did this feel like some life changing moment? It was just her and Shawn hanging out. No need to turn it into something it's not, she reminded herself as she walked out into the living room where they were waiting for her.

She grabbed her brown jacket off the back of the couch.

"So Hunter, are you going to tell me where you're taking me yet?"

Katie looked over at Shawn in disbelief.

"She doesn't know?"

Shawn shook his head and smiled.

"Nope, I wanted it to be a surprise."

Katie just smiled and nodded.

"Have fun you two."

She gave her daughter a parting hug and kissed her on the head before allowing her to leave.

A twenty minute cab ride later they were standing out in front of a private art exhibit for world renown artist Leonid Afremov. Her eyes lit up like a child watching Christmas lights for the first time as she pointed to the building with the very large and bold advertisement samples.

"We get to go in there?" she breathed.

Shawn held up the tickets and smiled.

"We sure do."

Maya was in heaven. She walked around the gallery taking in all the bright colors and vivid images. These paintings resembled mosaics, bright colored pieces that formed into one strikingly beautiful picture. They looked alive somehow. She could practically see the colors dancing and reflecting together. There was one of the Eiffel tower at night, in it the sky looked like it was made of colorful confetti. There were dancers and couples walking hand in hand, most of them with umbrellas. They were all breathtaking but her favorite was the one of a father and his child walking through the rain together.

Shawn watched as she marveled at each piece. He didn't know much about art but he did know the expression of joy lighting up Maya's blue eyes would make an astonishing photograph. If only he were allowed to take pictures in here, he thought. When she got to the portion that contained what were obviously nude women he'd come up behind her and covered her eyes. He didn't want her seeing that. He didn't want her growing up too fast.

Standing there with Shawn, looking at that picture, everything she had been fighting back finally hit her all at once. Her eyes began welling up with tears.

"You're crying. I made you cry?" Why was he always making her cry?

"I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a good surprise, a happy surprise." He felt so helpless as he followed her outside. He had wanted to do something special for her to make her happy and take her mind off of everything weighing her down. Instead he had just made it worse.

They sat down on a bench outside of the gallery and she began wiping her tears and smiling.

"This was a good surprise, an amazing surprise. No one has ever done anything like this for me before."

She'd said that about the clothes too.

"Is that why you're crying?" he asked trying to understand her sudden change in mood.

She sniffled as she tried to find the right words.

"When I was little my mom would tell me stories about me and my dad. There was this one time when I was about two, I had a double ear infection. I guess I was miserable and whiny and in a lot of pain. She said that he stayed up all night long with me, just holding me, rocking me, letting me know I wasn't alone. And she told me how he'd always pass the park on his way home so that he could stop and pick me flowers. She said that I would wait for him to come home and when he got there I'd run to him and squeal, and he'd get down in the floor and crawl around with me, letting me ride his back, pretending to buck like a horse.'

Shawn sat listening with his hands in his lap, unsure of what he should say.

"Those sound like some really great memories."

She nodded and smirked, "Yeah they do, don't they? I don't actually remember any of them. I only know what she told me.

Maya shook her head in shame.

"I was so horrible to her Shawn. I blamed her and resented her. I didn't appreciate anything she did for me, and she did so much. She was probably the one that did all those things and I just can't remember it. And I'm not mad at her for her lying, I get why she did it, it's just" she faltered a moment."

"Just?" he urged.

"She always made him sound like such a great guy, you know? Someone worth wanting to find. I just I never really put it together. Even after you told me that he left both of us, it never occurred to me that the guy she described doesn't sound like someone that would just disappear and never look back. He sounds like the kind of guy who would buy you new clothes just so you can respect yourself more, the kind of guy who texts and calls even when he's away…the kind of guy who will go out of his way just to make you feel special. All that time she wasn't describing him. She was describing someone like you."

Shawn had no words. He didn't try to find them either instead he just wrapped an arm around Maya and held her tight.

She raised her head to look him in the eye.

"I just wish that she could see how lucky we are to have you, that I could find a way to show her I know how much she gave up for me. And I wish I knew something real about him."

Maya was silent the entire cab ride home. Shawn insisted on walking her to her door and told her that she should never settle for anyone who doesn't do the same.

She smiled at his concern.

"Thank you for tonight. I'm sorry I blubbered through it."

He just smiled at the girl.

"As long as you enjoyed it, it was totally worth it." He said and she knew that he meant it.

"I really did. Goodnight Shawn,' she hesitated briefly before hugging him and disappearing into her bedroom.

"Goodnight Maya." He said as she walked away.


	28. Chapter 28- The Awful Truth

**It never made sense to me that they would describe Kermit as the kind of man to walk away and never look back, but for them to know exactly where he is and him never try to make contact with Maya but come running to her side with his heart and apology in hand. It was a nice scene but rather unrealistic given what had already said about the man. Unfortunately this kind of thing does happen to real people and I wanted to write this as realistically as possible. It's exactly like the title says...it's awful but its true.**

Shawn was debating on whether or not to go when Katie came out of her bedroom with a book in hand and headphones on. She didn't even see him as they collided.

"Shawn! I'm so sorry. I was trying to stay out of your all's way." She looked around the apartment briefly, but she didn't see her daughter.

"Where's Maya," she asked curiously.

He pointed to the closed door of her bedroom.

"She went to bed I think. I'm actually glad you're here. I just wanted to thank you. You know, you could have said no about tonight. You could have told me to get lost after everything that happened, but you didn't and I really appreciate that."

Katie smiled back at him.

"Well, you could have disappeared on her after everything that happened and you didn't. I really appreciate that, so thank you."

He thought about Maya's words from earlier that night, about the way she was always waiting for him to vanish into thin air. Was Katie doing that too?

"I would never run out on her Katie…or you. I know you made your wishes clear and I respect that, but I do care about you and Maya, and it would be nice if we could at least be friends?" he implored cautiously, hoping he wasn't asking for too much.

She brushed the hair from her eyes as she spoke, "no, you're absolutely right. We have the Mathews and Maya in common. We'll probably be seeing one another around. I don't want things to be weird between us either."

He offered his hand out to her, "friends?"

She shook his hand in return, "Friends."

Their hands were no longer shaking in a friendly manner, but neither had pulled away. They both looked down at their hands self-consciously before separating.

"So how was the show? Did she love it? I'll bet she loved it!" Was she talking too much?

He shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure what else to do with them.

"Yeah, it was great. She lit up like the Fourth of July, Katie. It was a thing of beauty. She got so into the pieces too, talking about the different kinds of strokes and tones and the way he used color. You can tell she's such an artist!"

She watched his face illuminate as he spoke of her little girl. Maya wore the same expression whenever Shawn's name came up. They had obviously struck some kind of sacred bond; perhaps they were kindred spirits?

Shawn hesitated, wondering if he should tell her about the moment outside of the gallery. Those were Maya's personal feelings that she had confided in him, would it be wrong to tell Katie what was going on in her daughter's mind? If the roles were somehow reversed he'd want to know.

"I mean, there was this moment where she got kind of emotional. I thought it was about the painting at first, but," he paused, not sure how much he should reveal.

"But it was about her dad, wasn't it? Did she talk to you about it? Cause she won't talk to me."

He shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"Sh- she did most of the talking. I just listened. It's not easy for a kid to understand something like that, you know?" he said leaning toward her.

"Well when you're done explaining it to her would you mind explaining it to me, cause I still don't get it. I mean…I get not being ready. I even get just being selfish and not thinking about the consequences of your choices, but what I really don't understand is, why us?"

Shawn had spent years trying to understand how both his parents could leave him alone, why Angela had left him in the end, why everyone else was always moving on without him. He knew what a slippery slope those questions led to. He didn't want Katie or Maya going down it too.

He pulled his hand from his pocket and started to wrap his arm around her before he remembered he wasn't supposed to do that. Instead he settled for placing his hand on her back reassuringly.

"It really doesn't matter why he did what he did. The most important thing is you and Maya and how you handle it. You're doing such a great job with her and she's so lucky to have you, and believe me, she knows it. He's an idiot for not seeing what he had, but it doesn't have to define either of you."

He made it sound so simple…

"She told me stories about him. The flowers, the horsey rides, the double ear infection?"

She couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, those were some of my best work."

And the director's said she couldn't act.

"She's starting to figure that out Katie. Why don't you just tell her the truth?"

He knew that he was pushing and it wasn't really his place, but he couldn't but remember Cory's words about growth and healing. He wanted Maya and her mom to be happy and they could never do that with the black cloud of Kermit's transgressions hanging over them.

"Because it's awful! I was so young…and blind to what he really was. I thought that he loved me and that we were happy, but he was just using me. I thought that Maya was a happy accident but that wasn't true either. The truth was that he had women he slept with for sport and women he slept with for the purpose of procreating, and I have no idea what the criteria was to determine which. I don't know what I said or did to become one of those women…I don't know why he was so sure that I was going to be the one to give him what he wanted but he thought I was lucky golden ticket to the son he always wanted so he married me…" she whispered intently so her daughter would never hear these words.

She'd laid her book down and folded her arms which she began rubbing as she spoke, as if the memories made her cold.

"Once he realized he'd hitched himself to the wrong wagon, he was gone. I never heard from him again. He filed for divorce and I was more than happy to be rid of him by then. He never even saw Maya."

Katie looked up into his eyes and he could see the tears she was fighting back, even now she wouldn't cry. She and Maya were so much alike. Both pretending to be fine when they weren't, never realizing how amazing and brave they actually were or how much they had to offer. It had been easy to see the depth of Maya's pain because he had experienced something similar. He'd thought he had understood Katie's as well, but he realized standing there listening to her story that there was so much more that he hadn't and didn't understand.

"How am I supposed to tell her that he never wanted her? I can't do that!"

Shawn didn't want Maya hearing that story any more than Katie did, but he knew that no well-intentioned lie was going to be enough to satisfy her either.

"Maybe there's a way to tell her enough without telling her everything?"

She stretched her hand palm up, just like Maya, as she spoke "What's enough Shawn? What part of the truth wouldn't make her question her own worth?"

Shawn rubbed her back trying to ease her pain.

"I don't know, I mean, if this were the kind of thing you could keep from ever coming out I would tell you to lie until your last breath, but you can't stop the truth from coming out. He's out there somewhere. She could have siblings out there. It's better coming from you than some stranger."

She knew he was right. She had done everything in her power to spare her little girl this heartbreak but the truth was that it was inevitable. This was the reality he had set her up for and there was no changing it.

"You're right. I have to tell her. I just have to figure out when and how."


	29. Chapter 29- What's not to like?

**A lot of people have asked why Topanga and Cory aren't doing more about this triangle, so I decided to address that a little bit. Keep in mind this is happening in the same weekend as the Maya/Shawn date. I appreciate all the love and support. Love hearing what you have to say.**

Riley was upstairs in her room preparing for her date when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She looked up to see her mother smiling at her.

"Hey sweetie, I was wondering if I could lend a hand."

She walked over to her little girl thinking about how she wasn't so little anymore. She was growing up and right now she was going through something really difficult that Topanga wasn't sure how to help her through. Riley was an exceptionally great child, but even the sweetest and most innocent of children would eventually face the throes of hormones and high school, and Topanga had never felt so ill prepared for anything in all her life.

"Maybe I could curl your hair for you," she suggested as she played with a few locks of Riley's chestnut strands with her fingers. "Or I could help you with your makeup?"

Riley just smiled and shrugged, "that's not necessary mom, but thank you for the offer."

Topanga nodded knowingly, "Maybe next time. Have you decided what you're wearing today?"

Riley turned and began rooting through her jewelry box. "Yeah, I'm just going to wear some jeans and a nice sweater, it'll be fine."

Topanga stood there a moment observing her daughter and mulling over the situation. She'd only met Charlie briefly and he seemed like a nice boy, but Cory wasn't threatened by him and Riley wasn't excited by him. She wanted to let her daughter figure this one out, but would it be so wrong to offer her a little friendly advice?

"Are you sure that you want to do this Riley? Because it's not too late to change your mind sweetheart."

Riley turned and gave her mother another well-guarded smile.

"I'm sure mom. Charlie is a really great guy." She explained, her hands waving about her side for emphasis.

"But do you like him?" Topanga prodded.

Riley paused for a moment searching for the right words.

"He's cute, and really sweet, and he likes me." Plus he doesn't have a thing for my best friend and she doesn't want him so it's infinitely less complicated. "There's a lot to like about Charlie." But deep down she knew that wasn't the same as a yes.

Her lack of enthusiasm was obvious, but Riley seemed determined to go through with this date. Topanga felt her hands were tied.

After her discussion with Lucas earlier this week she was beginning to realize what a mistake she had been making, not in pushing him toward Maya of course, but in that she had also accidentally pushed him away as a friend. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but she needed to find some way to look and him and talk to him without giving herself away. They both seemed to need one another in that sense. Zay and Farkle had always proclaimed themselves Lucas's best friend, but he had given that title to her. She was his best friend…and Maya was his girlfriend.

This date started out just as awkward as their first. Riley had texted Charlie and asked for him to wait for her downstairs. For some reason she didn't like the idea of him coming up and getting reacquainted with her family. They'd ridden the subway to the mini golf course in complete silence, just as she had insisted last time. How did she expect to make herself like Charlie when she couldn't even talk to him? Finally they arrived and the tension began to ease, the activity taking some of the pressure off the situation.

Charlie handed the gentleman at the counter some money from his wallet as he ordered their essentials for the game.

"Yeah I'll take some red balls and a putter and the lady will have purple."

He glanced back at her and smiled sheepishly.

"That is your favorite color, right?"

She nodded and smiled politely wondering how he knew that.

The course was themed. Each hole was a setup of a different country. She putted her ball through the Great Wall of China, The Taj Majal, and ancient pyramids. They occasionally made small talk about the game and themselves, all the foreign places they'd like to see…but there was something nagging her in the back of her mind the entire time.

They came upon the set up for France and wouldn't you know it was the Eiffel tower?

"They say that Paris is the most romantic city in the world. They even call it the city of love."

Riley smiled nervously.

"But we aren't actually in Paris, or France."

Charlie smirked "Maybe someday. You never know what might happen."

Riley didn't know a lot of things right now but she was almost one hundred percent certain she was never going to Paris or anywhere else that far away with Charlie.

They finished the course and made their way to the food court for one of those delicious milkshakes he'd promised her. She'd insisted that they each got their own, remembering the smoothie with two straws incident. The waitress was so right. It had only gotten harder from there.

"So…can I ask you a question?" she asked timidly.

"Of course!" He was just happy that she was finally talking to him.

"How did you know my favorite color was purple?"

He blushed for some reason she didn't quite understand.

"You wear a lot of purple. You come to math class with purple paint up to your elbows. The pen you always use in English class is purple."

"You notice those things?" She had always thought she was invisible…

He shrugged and gave her a genuine smile.

"I just…notice you."

"Can I ask you another question?"

He wiped his hands on a napkin as she spoke.

"Ask away."

"You told Lucas that I didn't want to be his partner. Why would you do that?"

Charlie sighed and leaned forward, hoping he could make her understand somehow.

"Honestly? Because the guy wouldn't take a hint Riley. You've told him that you aren't interested, but he's still lurking around all the time."

"He's my friend!" she defended.

Charlie nodded, "I know that. He's my friend too, or at least we were after semi-formal. I was just trying to help him understand that he was making you uncomfortable."

Riley sat there thinking about his response. He and Lucas had agreed to be friends at the dance and friends were supposed to look out for one another. As far as Charlie knew she had no interest in Lucas as more, so maybe it would be acceptable for him to try as a friend to help the situation? Maybe she was reading too much into this.

"I appreciate you wanting to help Charlie, but I can speak for myself where Lucas is concerned."

Charlie just nodded, "Okay, understood. I was only trying to help."

They finished their meal and got back on the subway, another silent ride. When they came to her apartment Riley became anxious, and not in a good way. This was their second date. Was he expecting her to kiss him? Because she really wasn't ready for that. She had only ever kissed one person and that had taken an incredible amount of nerve and a much higher comfort level.

"So…this is me. I should go upstairs."

"You don't want me to walk you to your door?"

"Um, I have a little brother. He likes to spy. So…it's probably better if we just say goodnight out here."

Surely he wouldn't expect her to kiss him out here in front of everyone.

Charlie couldn't help but be disappointed. Why couldn't Riley see how crazy he was about her? He was the better man. He hadn't taken over a year to make a move. He wasn't dating her best friend. He knew he could make her happy if she would just let him.

"Charlie," she hesitated a moment. "One more question?"

"Sure. Anything."

"How did you know I tried to swap partners on the project? Was that just one of the things you noticed?"

She had been replaying their every conversation in her head the entire evening and she'd never once said anything about the project or her partnership with Lucas.

"No, Maya told me when we were working together. I guess she thought I should know."

Maya had told him? Why would she do that?

"Oh okay." What else could she say?

"Now can I ask you a question?" he asked.

"What would you like to know?" She prayed it wouldn't be about Lucas or Maya or anything incredibly uncomfortable that she didn't want to talk about.

"I know that this is our second date, and some people would have certain expectations…"

Oh no!

"But I realize that you aren't ready for those things and I'm willing to earn them, but since this is our second date, and I am hoping there will be a third, could we possibly hold hands? Just for a second?"

She didn't really want to but he wasn't asking for much so she offered her hand and he took it, grinning from ear to ear while she was smiled awkwardly and counted the seconds until it was over.

There was still one thing nagging her…

She'd never actually told Maya she didn't want to work with Lucas.


	30. Chapter 30- Incomplete

Farkle had been wrestling with his own personal dilemma for weeks now. The deadline was drawing near and he was still no closer to a resolution. He was a man of all things finite; formulas, equations, and facts. These were the tools he had always used to decipher good from bad, smart from stupid, and right from wrong. Feelings were a lot more perplexing.

He didn't understand what made them so complicated. There were elements of the three involved. Feelings were about chemicals inside the body and how we as people reacted to whatever and whoever released them within us. That was science. Those feelings in turn influenced what you knew to be true about the people and world around you. That was fact. In the great equation of life, feelings, and how they affected others, were the variable. That was math.

All of these things should have made him a genius at feelings, but he could honestly say that when it came to what he felt and why, for once in his life he was just as ordinary a "dumb dumb" as the rest of his friends. Case in point, Isadora Smackle.

Farkle had loved Riley since the first grade. Some would say that she was his first love. He hadn't met Maya until a little later but somehow he'd managed to love her just as much in that shorter amount of time. That was still a mystery to him. He loved them equally because he loved them individually, both of them for exactly who they were. He didn't want Riley to be bold like Maya or Maya to be soft like Riley. He wanted them exactly as they were.

He had always known it would be Riley or Maya. To him that was fact…until the day Isadora Smackle and he had touched hands outside of Topanga's, and in that moment he felt something that he'd never experienced with either of the women he'd pledged his heart to as a child. And just like that his arch nemesis had somehow become his girlfriend.

He examined the letter in his hands once again. He didn't have to open it or read it. He knew what it said. In the grand scheme of things one B on a report card wouldn't change the course of his life. He just wouldn't be able to say he'd never gotten one before. He could still go to a great school, study to become…whatever he ended up becoming, and either rule or save the world. Everything he wanted would still be attainable if he didn't deliver this letter…but what would his father say?

His mind flashed back to career day last year when his father had begun bragging about his achievements; his genius son being one of them, and competing with Mrs. Mathews for the highest number of A's. Had he received even one B, his father would have lost that competition. Would he still consider his son one of his great accomplishments along with his company and helicopter? Or would he feel as if Farkle had proven himself to be ordinary?

Jennifer had come to tell her son that dinner was ready but instead she had stood there just watching him play with the red folded piece of paper in his hands. He'd turn it this way and that before sighing heavily. Clearly there was something troubling him.

She knocked on the open door, "Hey, you. You about ready to eat?"

He shook his head as he looked down at the letter again.

"No thanks, I'm not really hungry." He said.

She walked over to him and sat down in the floor beside him, their backs against the wall.

"Does it have something to do with that?" She gestured to the piece of paper in his hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Farkle wasn't really sure what good talking would do. Facts were facts. No amount of talking would make them change. He had a choice to make a deadline that was quickly running out.

"You've never cared what people thought about you, so I'm not sure you can understand mom."

She nodded knowingly.

"Well why don't you try me, and we'll see what happens?" she offered wondering where this was going.

"Is this about your friends? Your girlfriend?" She was making calculated guesses.

"Not exactly, but it does affect them." He explained rather vaguely.

"Okay," she patiently waited for more.

"Would you still love me if I wasn't a genius? If I had been some ordinary guy who made ordinary grades and never did anything extraordinary…would you still look at me the same?"

Jennifer had never cared what many people thought of her, but hearing her son question whether or not she would still love him made her heart break. He was her baby boy, of course she would love him no matter what!

"I will always love you the same Farkle, no matter what you do." She clarified as she wrapped her arms around him in a mother's loving embrace. After a moment he looked up at her and she could see the pain in her son's eyes.

"Would you still be proud of me?" he asked, desperately needing to know the answer.

She thought for a moment before responding.

"Well, that depends, did you do your best?"

Farkle wasn't sure how to answer that. If he finished the project he would be doing his best, but he strongly felt that were he to do that it would the wrong thing.

"I did the right thing," he said after pausing to think about it.

She smiled before responding "then how could I not be proud of you, Farkle?"

She had no idea how much he had needed to hear those words. He knew what he had to do now.

It was just a few days before fall break and report cards would be coming out next week. There was no turning back now. He had left for school early that day, not wanting to draw attention to himself a second time. Had he stayed after class his friends would have noticed for certain.

"Mr. Minkus, you're here awful early." Cory stated as he began removing his lesson plan for the day from his briefcase.

"I assume you're here about the incomplete I gave you on the forgiveness project?"

Farkle just nodded, "Yes sir, I am."

"I take it you've decided not to complete the project?"

Cory had been hoping that Farkle would have come to him with whatever problem he was having by now, but he hadn't. All he knew is that it must be very important to him if he was willing to take a zero for it.

"That's right sir, I have," he said trying to muster every ounce of courage he had for the moment that came next.

Cory just nodded and continued to prepare for his class. Farkle was about to find his seat when Cory called out to him.

"Do you feel that you made the right choice?"

Farkle mulled the question over in his head.

"Honestly sir, I don't know yet."

"Do you feel that you did the right thing?"

This time Farkle didn't hesitate.

"I believe so."

Cory just smiled at his student as he pointed to Farkle his papers still in hand, "Then I'm proud of you Farkle."

The two just sat there in silence as the rest of class filed in and the bell rang.


	31. Chapter 31- Living In A War Zone

Something was going on with Farkle. None of the gang knew exactly what had happened or when, but ever since Thanksgiving break he had been…less Farkley. He was no longer behaving like a perfectly normal Farkle. It must have been sometime in the last few months because his grades were slipping. He'd received his first ever non A in his entire academic career. They had barely heard from him during their week off from school and once they'd returned he's become quiet and withdrawn and he'd even fallen asleep in class.

Cory had tried to address his concerns with the young Mr. Minkus but each time he'd gotten the same deflection. Whatever was going on Farkle didn't want to talk about it. At a loss for what to do, Cory had tried to schedule a parent teacher conference with his parents. Surely they had noticed the changes in their son as well? It took almost two weeks to hammer down a date and the meeting was less than productive.

Stuart and Jennifer Minkus had been fighting for as long as Farkle could remember. They didn't just disagree they battled. There were insults shouted, derogatory names, and sometimes things would end up being thrown across the room, like a vase or a wedding ring. It was normal to hear his mother shout that Stuart Minkus was a workaholic or pretentious jerk. It was common for his father to call his wife Jennifer a gold digging tramp or a desperate housewife wannabe. That was simply the environment in which Farkle Minkus had grown.

The last few weeks had been different though. The last few weeks had been his doing. He'd really thought that he had made the right choice in accepting the incomplete for his forgiveness assignment, but he was beginning to see how every choice has unforeseen consequences.

Farkle's report card had arrived during fall break. It was a Thursday. Stuart Minkus had collected it along with all the other mail and the newspaper. He'd sat down at the kitchen table prepared to open the envelope when Farkle had stopped him.

"Wait!" His hands flung into the air as if this gesture could somehow prevent the next moment from happening.

"What is it Farkle?" He'd never been nervous for his father to open his report card before.

"What if…" he struggled for the right words, "what if you open that card and it says that I'm less than excellent?"

His father seemed amused by the question. His son was a genius, everyone knew that. To think that he was anything less than excelling was laughable.

"It won't."

Farkle took a deep breath and tried again.

"What if something in that envelope isn't what you expect of me?"

Stuart Minkus, who was arguably also a genius, seemed puzzled by his son's question.

"You're the smartest kid in your entire school, smart enough even for Einstein Academy, how could you possibly perform any less than the exceptional standard your intelligence has set for yourself?"

Before Farkle could defend or explain his father ripped open the envelope and stared in shock at the paper and its contents.

"Cory spelled A wrong. I mean, he's no genius but surely they wouldn't let him teach if he couldn't even discern letters of the alphabet."

Farkle didn't like hearing his father disparage Mr. Mathews. He was a good man, a good teacher, and a loving father. Farkle had learned a great deal from him, even with his higher IQ score.

"Mr. Mathews didn't make a mistake. That's the grade I earned this semester."

There had to be some kind of mistake. Farkle was a brilliant boy who had always excelled. There was no good reason why he should be under-performing in any class, especially history.

"How did this happen?!" he demanded to know.

Farkle wasn't sure he could explain in a way that his father would understand but he felt the need to try.

"I had to choose between getting the A that I wanted or doing the right thing…" he trailed off as he braced for his father's reaction, wondering if it would be as bad as the fights he'd overheard between his parents.

"You thought pretending to be stupid was the right thing?!"

"No…"

So you thought being lazy was the right thing?!"

"No…"

"So you just got distracted by your friends and forgot to do the work, is that it?!

"No sir…that's not what happened."

Farkle flinched as his father's voice raised.

"There is no reasonable excuse for this Farkle. Sure for an average student, an average person, a B is fine. But YOU are not average! You are exceptional! And I expect you to work and perform to your utmost potential! Choosing to lower your grade is not living up to that potential and it is NOT acceptable. Do you understand me?

"Yes, sir…"

Jennifer Minkus had come in just in time to hear Stuart shouting at their son and to her _that_ was not acceptable. She had promptly dismissed Farkle as his father shouted that they weren't finished discussing his lackluster performance, but Jennifer had insisted that he go upstairs to his room. That was when the battle royale had begun. They shouted louder than they ever had, called each other things Farkle wasn't even allowed to say, and he was pretty sure that their entire wedding china had been broken by the time that first battle was over…

But it wouldn't be the last. Their confrontations seemed to become more frequent over the next few weeks and when they weren't fighting they weren't even acknowledging one another. Stuart told his son that he was grounded, on probation, and that if he didn't pull his grades up by the next progress report he would be transferring to Einstein Academy whether he wanted to or not. Jennifer had informed him that he had done nothing wrong and she wouldn't be letting his father drag him anywhere he didn't want to go. Farkle felt torn, but more than that he felt responsible. They were fighting over his decision. He couldn't help but wonder what would be happening had he made a different choice…but it was too late to turn back now.

It wasn't the grade itself that upset Stuart Minkus. If Farkle had given one hundred percent of his intelligence and ability to the class and that was the best he could do then he would have understood and proudly accepted whatever grade his son had received. However, he knew that Farkle was capable of more and so he simply was not willing to accept less. It confounded him the way Jennifer was not only defending their son's choice to under-perform, but actually encouraging it. Did she need their son to be ordinary in order to relate to him better? Was she threatened by his intelligence? What possible excuse could there be for either of their choices? From where Stuart was standing, there wasn't one viable.

Jennifer had tried to tell her husband about the talk she had previously had with Farkle, about his fear that they would somehow love him less if he wasn't perfect for once, but he wasn't listening. At the time she had been hurt by that question, but after seeing the way his father had reacted she was beginning to understand why he thought they might stop. Everything that Stuart had done since that day reaffirmed that fear.

She didn't necessarily appreciate the way he'd spoken to her over the years but she'd been willing to accept it because she knew the blame wasn't just on him. She was just as responsible for their tumultuous relationship as he was and there wasn't an insult he'd thrust her way that she didn't have a verbal parry for. Their relationship had started out as one of mutual benefit. She wanted to latch herself onto his rising star and he wanted arm candy. Neither had expected to fall in love, but it had happened, and now here they were; husband and wife, a brilliant son, and a thriving company later.

Only there son wasn't thriving anymore. He was shrinking; afraid to be seen or heard, always trying to avoid the chaos. She didn't know what difficult choice her son had made but she did know that he hated to disappoint his father and he loved his perfect record just as much as Stuart had. For him to sacrifice the two, he must have been faced with something of greater value to him and the only thing that meant more to Farkle than his father's pride and his nine hundred something-eth A was his friends. If he had done as she suspected and chosen his friends over himself then she was very proud of the young man he was becoming.

Farkle was beginning to understand Riley's exhaustion. Secret keeping was extremely tiresome. He knew that he wasn't fooling anyone. It was obvious that something was wrong, but not everything needed to be public knowledge. He'd made his choice and this was his consequence. Talking about it would only open the can of worms he'd originally been trying to avoid, and that wouldn't be good for anyone right now. They had enough to sort out as it was. Besides, this was only temporary. He knew he could and would have his grades back up to his father's standard by the time they came out for Christmas and then things would go back to normal. At least that's what he kept telling himself.


	32. Chapter 32- Captain of the Ship

Christmas break was drawing near and for the first time ever the group of friends were actually looking forward to not having to see one another every day. The once pillar of support was beginning to buckle under the weight of hidden secrets and repressed feelings. Tension seemed to be radiating from all angles…except for Zay. He was the only one that didn't seem to be embroiled in some kind of personal crisis at the moment. He was merely the objective spectator to this three ring circus and he did not like what he was seeing right now. Over the last few months everyone had changed.

Lucas was slowly losing his chill, just when Zay had finally adjusted to Zen Lucas. At first he'd attributed this to the series of events that took place in Texas. He was confused and frustrated. That would grate on any guy's nerves, but it wasn't just the girls that were getting to Lucas. It was Charlie too, and the fact that he was sucking air anywhere near cotton candy face. Watching them in a room together was like watching the discovery channel, filled with puffed up body postures and yowling. They were the perfect picture of territorial aggression.

Maya's usual boldness had been whitewashed into pastel. Granted she wasn't sitting all prim and proper with her hands in her lap anymore, but she hadn't been quite the same. Between the "moment that shall not be named" in Texas and the forgiveness project stuff with her dad; she seemed paralyzed, afraid to move or risk too much. That wasn't like the Maya he knew at all.

Riley was the one that had truly thrown him off. Everyone else had been exactly what he'd expected. He had picked up on the strange energy between Maya and Lucas, the occasional blatant staring and internal wolf whistles. It hadn't really come as a shock to him when Riley revealed Maya's feelings. He wasn't entirely shocked that Lucas had made a move…what had surprised him was his friend's lack of follow through. The only thing that had happened that he hadn't seen coming from a mile away was Riley dropping the brother bomb on Lucas. He'd watched and listened and never once had he gotten any indication that's where she was leading them. She'd dropped Luke like a bad habit and picked up with Charlie the very next week, both by choice…so then why was her effervescence gradually dimming?

Then there was Farkle, who had basically become a recluse. This was the newest of the developments. Something had happened over Thanksgiving to unFarkle Farkle. He wasn't lazy and he wasn't stupid so there had to be a reason the smartest kid in the entire school had lost his straight A streak. Farkle was the one that had been safeguarding everyone through this series of unfortunate events. Once Riley had checked out he'd been dubbed the captain of the SS Friendship and right now that ship really needed a captain.

They were standing in the halls at the end of the day, all eerily silent. Maya was watching Lucas, who was watching Riley, who was watching her feet glide across the floor. Not much had changed since the train ride back from Texas.

"So party people, any big holiday plans? I, myself, may be heading back to the good ol' lonestar state to spend some quality time with Vanessa," he waggled his brows trying to lighten the mood.

Not even a chuckle. "Man, tough room!" he exclaimed.

Riley glanced up as she reached her locker and began working the combination lock. "That's great Zay," she said, trying really hard not to think about the last time they were all in Texas. Whenever she did recollect on that time she tried to focus on the few good moments, but even they had turned bittersweet.

"What about you Huckleberry? You heading home for the holidays?" She kind of hoped he was.

Riley sucked in her lips as if tasting something sour as she opened the locker door.

"I don't know," he really hadn't given it any thought. He loved Texas and his family there, but he wasn't so sure he was ready to go back. The idea of standing in the room where Riley had called him brother or the spot in the woods where he'd held Maya's face in his hands didn't seem very appealing at the moment. "I'll probably just stick around here."

"What about you guys?" The question was addressed to both of them but it was Riley he was watching.

Maya shrugged, "I usually spend the holidays with the Mathews while mom works, but who knows this year. Since she's working at the bakery she might actually be off for a change," she smiled at the realization. This might be the first Christmas they'd spent together in years.

"Either mom will host dinner here like last year or we'll head to Philadelphia for Christmas, not sure which." Riley said with as much false enthusiasm as she could muster.

Lucas felt disappointed at the idea of her being so far away, even though it wasn't like he'd be seeing her anyway.

Topanga had only ever hosted the holidays once so it was hard to say if that was going to be their new tradition or not.

Maya's stomach knotted at the mention of going to Philly for the holiday. Seeing Josh again was going to be weird and nerve-wracking enough, but the idea of seeing him in his home, sleeping just down the hall in his room? She wasn't sure she could handle that…not that it should matter. She liked Lucas now, right?

"What about you sparkles? Any fancy schmancy dinner party that puts the Rockefeller's to shame?"

He smiled ruefully, "probably not, just a (not so) quiet dinner with the family this year." Translation: he would most likely be eating his feast alone in his room while his parents shouted at one another down the stairs.

Riley closed the door to her locker and wished her friends a good afternoon before heading out the door with Maya by her side.

"So which one are you watching walk away right now?" Zay jested, but Lucas wasn't in the mood.

"Shut up Zay," he snapped without thinking.

At least that seemed to bring Farkle out of his trance.

Zay raised his hands in defense, "I know that's your frustration talking, but I'm gonna take a few steps back anyway. Just in case."

Lucas couldn't help but flinch at his words, mostly because he knew they were true. That attack had been unprovoked and unjustified.

"You know what we need? We need some guy time. Yeah, man, we've been spending too much time with the girls, got a little too in touch with our feminine side. We need to reinstate our man club membership. I think a drama free night of zombie killing is just what the two of you need. We can do it over break while the girls are out of town. Come on what do ya say?" Zay suggested.

Farkle and Lucas looked at one another amused. A night to get out their heads could be the perfect remedy to their problems or at the very least a nice distraction.

"Alright, I'm in." Lucas said.

"Me too." Surely his parents could call a truce for one night?

It's a start, the newly self-proclaimed captain of the SS Friendship mused inwardly.


	33. Chapter 33-Sleepless Nights

Riley lay in bed staring at the ceiling when she heard a noise from downstairs. She rolled over attempting to dismiss it, but then she heard voices coming from below. Curious she slid out from under Maya's arm, who was snoozing peacefully in bed next to Riley, quietly snoring. Once she'd freed herself from her best friends grasp she had tiptoed to the bottom of the stairs to find the most peculiar sight.

There on her couch, at three in the morning, were Farkle, Zay, and Lucas in their pajamas. Her dad was over at the door talking to Mr. Minkus in hushed tones that told Riley something must be very wrong for her father to be allowing boys in the house. She ought to go back upstairs, close the door and pretend like she didn't know they were here, but she wasn't sure she could do that. Whatever personal feelings she had aside, she still wanted to be there for her friends.

She leaned her head against the side of the wall and sighed. Lucas was in a blue pair of pajama pants and a white t shirt, his hair slightly messy, probably from lying in bed. Why did he have to be so cute and wonderful? Why did he have to make every girl who laid eyes on him, including Maya, want him? She glanced down at her pink and purple plaid pj's and bunny slippers. In what world would a girl like her really stand a chance with a guy like him?

The boys sat nervously on the couch, unsure of what was happening. Mr. Minkus had gotten a call in the middle of the night. There was apparently an emergency with the company that required his immediate attention. They didn't know exactly what was going on but the words bad publicity and damage control had been overheard. Farkle had never seen his father more concerned that he had when he'd gotten that phone call.

Lucas wanted to focus on being there for his friend, but he was finding it incredibly difficult to keep his thoughts from wandering to the fact that Riley was just up those stairs sleeping. He hadn't expected to see her again until school started back, but if they stayed here until morning there was a good chance she would come bouncing down those stairs. How would she feel about him being here?

Cory finished his conversation with his old schoolmate and closed the door as he left. When he turned to face the boys he caught sight of his daughter peering from the staircase, but didn't acknowledge her presence there.

"Alright boys, I'm going to go grab some extra blankets and pillows. The couch pulls out into a bed so if you want to get that started I will be right back."

He walked over to where his daughter was hiding.

"What are you doing up?" he whispered.

"I couldn't sleep and then I heard the commotion down here." She explained.

"You should go back upstairs and get some rest," Cory told her.

She knew that this was less about her beauty sleep and more about his discomfort of having boys and girls under the same roof at night.

"I will but daddy," she hesitated a moment, "how bad is it?"

He understood exactly what she was trying to ask.

"It's pretty bad honey," he spoke honestly.

She had already known the answer but she was hoping for a different outcome. She kissed her father on the cheek and wished him goodnight before climbing back up the stairs. Maya had sprawled out completely covering the bed.

"Oh peaches," Riley sighed to herself as she took a pillow and grabbed a spare blanket from her closet.

She tossed and turned but she knew there was no way she was going to be able to sleep now. It had been hard enough keeping Lucas off her mind when she'd been laying there before, but knowing he was just downstairs on her couch? She wondered how he felt about being in her house in the middle of the night, about seeing her for the first time since Christmas break had started…then she realized he was probably thinking about the sleeping blonde girl in her bed.

"Dude, seriously I can hear you thinking all the way over here," Zay complained from the couch. Lucas had insisted on making a pallet in the floor so the bed wouldn't be too crowded.

"Then stop listening to my thoughts," the blonde boy stated bluntly.

"I'm trying, but they're just so dang loud. I can hear your inner dialogue. Riley, Maya, Riley, Maya…Gardner, give it a rest man. All your problems will still be here in the morning. Obsess over them then."

"It is morning," Lucas snickered.

Try as he might he couldn't sleep. He tried to think about anything else but every thought in his head seemed to lead back to the brunette sleeping upstairs. He tried to think about videogames, sports, the weather, even Maya…but it all led back to Riley. He highly doubted that brothers spent all night thinking of their sisters this way. He'd never agreed to be her brother and the one time he'd tried it became painfully obvious that he couldn't give her what he wanted.

Farkle lay there, feigning sleep, wondering what had his father rushing out in the middle of the night leaving him and his friends with the Mathews family. His mom had gone out of town in an effort to keep the peace between her and her husband. She didn't want to embarrass Farkle and she didn't want his friends hearing their dirty laundry being shouted throughout the house.

Zay had been right about them needing that time together as friends. Farkle had felt so isolated the last few weeks with everything going on, he needed that reminder that they were all in this mess called life together. He'd also had the opportunity to plant a few seeds of subtle direction in regard to the triangle situation. Maybe he couldn't come right out and tell them what he knew, but that didn't mean he couldn't drop some helpful breadcrumbs for them to follow to the correct conclusion.

A few hours later after Farkle and Zay had finally managed to fall asleep, Lucas heard the pitter patter of footsteps on the stairs. His heartbeat began to match the found. It could be Mr. or Mrs. Mathews. It could be Auggie or Maya, but somehow he just knew that it was Riley's footsteps making his heart race. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, uncertain of how she would react to finding him here.

She glanced around before making her way to the kitchen as quietly as possible. She'd been putting off this trip for the last four hours but her stomach was beginning to grumble and she was craving pancakes so once she was certain enough time had passed she'd snuck down to make some.

Lucas listened as he heard her moving about in the kitchen humming to herself. There was the sound of the fridge door opening and closing, eggs cracking, pots and pans clinking. He'd been tempted to sneak a glance, but feared being caught if he tried so instead he just listened and tried to imagine what she might look like in the morning light just starting to peek through the windows.

She danced her way between the counter and the fridge, twirling as she opened the door as if it were a partner. Every once in a while between the bars she was humming she would sing a few words here and there. She hadn't meant to do so, of course. She'd merely gotten lost in the song.

She could sing? A year and half of seeing one another almost every day and he hadn't known this. His memory flashed back to the day she'd strummed the guitar and sang, very confidently albeit off key, an apology to the zombies for treating them so bad. She must have just been being silly that day because the voice he heard now sounded nothing like the one he had then.

He heard the stirring of someone from the bed and wondered if it was Farkle or Zay. The greeting would tell him everything he needed to know.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright, you didn't. I wasn't really sleeping." It was Farkle's voice.

"Oh…are you okay? I mean, I know that something isn't right for you guys to be here…but dad didn't tell me what happened."

He shook his head as if trying to wake up. "I don't really know what I am. I don't even know what happened. Dad had some big work emergency and here we are."

She bit her lower lip trying to come up with a response.

"That sounds ominous."

"How are you doing? I know I kind of went missing in action on you, I'm sorry."

She dipped the batter into the pan and waited for the first side to brown.

"It's okay, I think we've all had a lot going on lately," She sounded sad. Lucas hated to hear her that way.

"So I heard you and Charlie were spotted holding hands?" Farkle ventured tentatively.

Yeah, Lucas had heard that too, much to his dismay.

"Yeah, it was only for a minute. It was our second date, we had to do something."

They'd held hands on their second date too…

"Do you really think you're being fair to him Riley?"

What did Farkle mean by that? Did he know something the rest of them didn't?

"You just want to talk about me to take the focus off of you," she deflected.

"That's not an answer and you know it."

She pried the half cooked pancake from the pan and flipped it over.

"That doesn't make it any less true."

Farkle took the spoon and began to mix the batter as a way to occupy his hands.

"I think something really bad is happening Riley. I think…I think my dad's company is in trouble…and I think if we lose everything my mom will probably leave him."

Riley almost forgot she was had food on the stove.

"Farkle, your parents love each other. They aren't together because your dad has money."

Farkle continued to stir the batter absentmindedly.

"Riley, not everyone is like your family. My parents…they fight. A lot."

"I'm sure all couples have disagreements Farkle, that doesn't mean they will break up."

He sighed trying to think of a way to make her understand.

"My mom throws her wedding ring at my dad at least once every two weeks. I don't think that's something normal couples do."

Riley thought for a moment as she scooped the now very golden brown pancake onto a plate. She had to admit that didn't sound like a very happy relationship, but would Farkle's mom really leave? Maya's dad had left but that was different. He'd left before Maya could even remember. As much as she wanted to she couldn't deny that it wasn't exactly out of the realm of possibility. Instead of offering what may be false hope she simply gestured to the skillet on the stove.

"You wanna help me with these?"

Those were the last words Lucas heard before finally succumbing to sleep deprivation.


	34. Chapter 34- Fix It!

The aroma of fresh pancakes traveled up the stairs and tickled Maya's nose, causing her to stir. She yawned stretching her arms far above her head while extending her toes at the same time, every inch of her more relaxed as a result. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and trudged down the stairs, still half asleep.

"Honey, you know I can't sleep when I smell…Farkle?" Pancakes, she meant pancakes.

'Either I'm dreaming or I woke up in an alternate reality where Farkle and Riley are married and make breakfast together…no baby Minki anywhere though'

"Farkle?" she asked again, needing clarification.

"In his pajamas" She observed glancing over at the clock.

"At eight in the morning," It sounded more like a question than a statement.

She squinted at Riley wondering if there were somehow something wrong with her vision.

Farkle looked over at Riley, "Do you think your parents would care if I got some fresh air?"

Riley gestured up the staircase, "You can use the fire escape next to my room, just don't go too far. I'm sure they won't mind.

Maya watched in confusion as Farkle walked up the steps before addressing Riley.

"What is Farkle doing in your house, in his pajamas, at eight in the morning?"

Riley continued watching the dishes of the mess she had made earlier as she spoke.

"What are you doing in my house in your pajamas at eight in the morning," she countered.

"Uh, because I spent the night. You were here don't you remember? We watched movies, ate popcorn, stayed up way too late. Any of this ringing a bell?"

Suddenly she realized the implication of Riley's response. "Oh…."

Farkle had spent the night, wait, in what universe would Mr. Mathews let a boy spend the night in the same house as the girls? True, he didn't chase Farkle out the window like he used to Lucas, but he still wouldn't have been comfortable with a boy girl sleepover.

"Your dad would never let a boy sleep here," Maya insisted.

Riley pointed with a soaped up spatula to the living room.

"Actually he let three."

Three? She looked over into the living room and sure enough there was Lucas…and Zay.

"What are they doing here," she whispered harsh and low. If they woke up things would be awkward again and she was really sick of things being awkward.

Riley focused on the menial task she was performing and trying to pretend she hadn't noticed Maya's reaction to a sleeping Lucas in her living room.

"I don't know exactly. Something happened last night and Farkle's dad brought them here, some kind of trouble with the company."

"Aww, poor Farkle's daddy! No more private helicopter." Maya teased.

Riley stared at her friend in disbelief.

"Stop it Maya! This is serious. My dad said that it's really bad."

Maya just shrugged, "So they might have to give up the lodge in Aspen or their house in the Hamptons. Something tells me they'll survive." The Minkus family had more money that most people would ever hope to see in ten lifetimes, a little loss wouldn't hurt them.

Riley knew that Maya had a snarky streak and likes to jest, but she really didn't seem to understand the severity of the situation.

"Whatever it is Maya it was bad enough for dad to let three teenage boys stay in my house with us here. Whatever it is it had Farkle's dad rushing to the office to do damage control at three o clock in the morning. Whatever it is Maya, it's not something to joke about. They might not just lose the helicopter or the country club. They could lose everything; their money, their house…or worse…" Riley trailed off thinking about the concerns Farkle had shared with her this morning.

Riley's words were like cold water. Sure, Maya loved to tease, and she would be lying if she said that no part of her was jealous of Farkle's family's wealth, but she would never actually wish anything bad on them.

"What could be worse than losing their house?" she asked genuinely concerned.

Riley glanced up the stairs, uncertain whether or not she should elaborate on her meaning. Farkle had confided in her. She was his secret keeper, just like he was hers. Of course he hadn't actually said that it was a secret, but she had been the only one he had told…but this was Maya. He knew that she told Maya everything…well almost everything.

She sighed heavily, "Farkle is worried that if his dad loses his money…" She hesitated briefly and hoped she was doing the right thing. "He's worried that his mom is going to leave his dad…"

Maya wore the same expression of concern she had the day Lucas had conquered tombstone.

"We can't let that happen Riley," she insisted.

"What makes you think we can stop it?"

Maya couldn't believe what she was hearing. This was the eternal optimist speaking.

"Are you kidding me? This is what you do best. You're the fixer. It's what you do, even when we beg you not to. You fix things, so fix this!"

Maya wasn't exactly wrong. Riley only had one talent in this world and that was her unwavering sense of duty to do right by people. It was really the only thing she had going for her. She'd never hesitated to interfere before. She'd never questioned whether or not she could make a difference. Why was she suddenly doubting herself now?

"Maya, we don't even know what's happening yet. It could be nothing."

The blonde stared her down.

"We know it's not nothing."

"Okay, it's something," Riley conceded, "but until we know what that something is I think we should just focus on being here for Farkle."

"What's gotten into you Riles? You can't do nothing. You don't know how." She exclaimed with her hands in the air.

"I thought you didn't like it when I try to save people," Riley pointed out.

"No, I just don't like it when you try to save me, there's a difference." She rebutted.

Riley handed the petite blonde a stack of generous pancakes. "You want to do something for Farkle? Take these upstairs and get him to eat something."

Maya opened her mouth to argue her case.

"Ring power!" The brunette said pointing to the stairs.

"Fine!" Maya replied heading toward the stairs, "but we aren't done talking about this!"

Riley genuinely hoped that whatever the crisis was, it wasn't as bad as everyone was assuming. This was the very first problem that she hadn't rushed to fix. It was also the first problem she feared she couldn't, even if she wanted to.


	35. Chapter 35- Crisis

Stuart Minkus had been slowly coming unraveled for weeks now. He'd discovered a discrepancy in one of his company's many accounts that left him concerned. He'd brought it to his corporate accountant as well as his personal financial advisor and asked them both to look into the problem. Frank Miller, the corporation's personal finance wiz quickly accounted for the error and located the missing funds, which had put Stuart's mind at ease.

A few days later, however, his personal advisor Tom Wilson had come to him with the results of his own personal investigation with some very disturbing information. There were several inconsistencies within multiple accounts. The only solution was to launch a silent investigation into the company's finances. For the next month Tom and his personal right hand man Victor had been pouring over the books while Minkus impatiently waited.

Finally the call that he had been both anticipating and dreading came. It was the week before Christmas at three in the morning. He had been sitting in his study going over the figures and projections of the business once again. According the numbers things were looking up. He'd just started to convince himself that maybe he was worried about nothing when his phone began ringing. The future of his company and family would be determined by this one conversation.

Tom hadn't said much, only that there was an emergency that needed his immediate attention. This couldn't possibly be good news. He needed to get to the office. There was just one major problem, his son and his friends were upstairs. Jennifer had gone out of town for the weekend so as to avoid yet another argument and there was no one else there to supervise while he handled this urgent situation. In a moment of desperation he decided to reach out to two of the best people he had ever known, the kind of people that would do anything for anyone; the Mathews family.

He tried to figure out what he was going to tell the boys as he climbed the stairs. He didn't want to embarrass or worry his son so he decided he would keep the information to a minimum. He had a work emergency and he needed them to grab a change of clothes and meet him downstairs as quickly as possible. He hadn't even told them where they were going. He'd spoken briefly with Cory before speeding to the office. He hadn't even told his son goodbye.

Once at the office he'd been met by Tom and Victor at the elevator. Each man began jabbering on either side of him and thrusting papers into his hands so fast that Stuart couldn't think. The facts were coming at him far too quickly for him to process. Frank had been embezzling from Minkus International for the last nine years. He'd not only been skimming off the top from investors, as if that weren't bad enough, he had also created false charitable organizations to filter the money into offshore accounts. In short, his books were pure fiction.

Stuart Minkus had never been the ideal husband. He had a beautiful wife that loved him who he left alone far too often. He told himself that she had no right to complain because this was the deal she had signed on for. She had wanted the money and success just as much as he did and sacrifices had to be made on both parts to achieve that.

Farkle was a different story. He hadn't agreed to these terms he'd simply been born into them. It was a little more difficult for Stuart to push down the guilt of missing birthday celebrations and award ceremonies in honor of his son than it was dates and wedding anniversaries, but he rationalized that he was giving his child everything he'd never had, and Farkle certainly didn't seem to mind coming from a successful family.

Deep down, he knew that he was failing them both, especially lately. Jennifer had begun calling him out on his skewed priorities years ago. Each time she did so he would lash out; calling her nasty names and reminding her of her true intentions when they had first come together. He knew that it had stopped being about the money and parties for her a long time ago, but it leveled the playing field and that was all that mattered in the moment.

It was one thing to take them for granted, it was something completely different to turn his family into his emotional punching bags, which is exactly what he had been doing for the last month. He had never been much of a husband or father, but he had been an extremely successful businessman. All those years of teasing and torture were worth the look on his old schoolmates' faces whenever they realized he was one of the wealthiest men in the country, possibly the free world.

He had founded Minkus International and built it from the ground up. He had poured blood, sweat, and tears, and literally breathed more life into this company than he had every human relationship he possessed. How could this have happened? How could this disease have crept its way into his life's work?

This was the kind of scandal that could bankrupt the entire corporation. He'd have to report Frank and his many transgressions to the IRS, and when he did there would be a complete audit of the company's finances. There was no telling how much money Frank had stolen over the years. They could end up coming after him for everything he owned, not to mention all the donations he'd written off over the years. He'd unknowingly committed tax fraud. Unless he could prove that he had nothing to do Frank's misdoings he could even find himself going to prison over this! He'd trusted the wrong person, and now this one mistake could cost him everything.

"What do we do sir?" Tom and Victor both looked to him expectantly.

What could he do? They could try to cover it up, pretend they never found this, but then he would be no better than Frank and he truly would be a criminal. No, he would turn in their findings and let the chips fall where they may. He picked up his phone and called Jennifer. She didn't answer, but he couldn't say he was surprised. He'd given her no reason to want to talk to him lately. Instead he left a curt voicemail requesting that she come home immediately. He insisted they had family business to discuss and that it would greatly affect both her and their son. Even if she wouldn't come for him she would do so for Farkle.

He then dialed Cory's number and asked him to handle taking the other boys home and bringing Farkle to their penthouse where he would be waiting. The business aspect of this finding would have to wait until tomorrow. For once in his life, Stuart decided to put his family first. He owed them that much.


	36. Chapter 36- Opening Up

Farkle was standing on the fire escape trying not to go to the dark place in the back of his mind when Maya poked her blonde messy bed head out the window.

"Hey Sparkles," she said with a halfhearted smile trying to lighten the mood, "Riles sent you up some pancakes."

He turned to face her and could see it in her eyes; her usual fire had been replaced with gentle concern. Maya was hardly ever gentle with anyone, least of all him.

"I'm not really hungry," he stated with an apathetic shrug of his shoulders.

Maya just nodded in response, "Yeah, I didn't figure you would be."

He drew in a deep breath and blew it out in a long huff. "So how much did she tell you?"

Riley and Maya told each other everything, except when it came to Lucas Friar. If Riley knew then Maya probably did too.

"Enough," the blonde replied.

Farkle wanted to ask her a question but he wasn't sure he should. It was extremely personal and a bit of a sore subject with her, but she was the only one of their group who might possibly be able to relate.

"Can I ask you something that may be kind of inappropriate?" He asked hesitantly.

"If I say no, is that going to stop you?" She didn't really have to ask. Of course it would. Farkle had never and would never do anything to disrespect her or her wishes. He really was a great guy like that.

"You know it would," he insisted.

The corner of her mouth tilted upward into a wry smile. "You're right I do. So what do you want to know?"

He pulled both his lips inward, chewing on their insides, weighing his options before finally making a decision.

"Did your parents fight a lot, you know, before they," he didn't finish that sentence. Instead he gestured with this hands from a position of together to apart.

Maya didn't open up this part of herself often and so far only ever to Riley, Shawn, and her mom. Usually she would make some sarcastic remark or lie, but Farkle had always been there for her when she needed someone; whether she had wanted him there or not. He seemed to really need this, and unlike most people he deserved it.

"Honestly, if they did I don't remember. I don't actually have any memories of my dad or my parents together. I don't know when they married or why they broke up. I don't really know anything, except what mom tells me…and she lies. She doesn't want to hurt me so she lies, and I pretend not to know, but I do…I'm sorry if that wasn't helpful."

That probably wasn't the answer he was hoping for but it was the only honest one she had.

Farkle shook his head and just smiled at the girl in the window.

"I know how hard it is for you to talk about your dad. Even if it doesn't help me with my problem I'm still glad you trusted me enough to be honest. Thank you for that, Maya."

She genuinely returned his smile. "You're welcome Farkle. Now enough about me, let's get back to you. Do you really think this situation with your parents is that bad?"

Farkle wasn't really sure how much to divulge on this subject. Sure, he'd once mentioned to Lucas that his mom threw her ring at his father, but he'd never actually shared the intensity or frequency of those events.

"They've been fighting for a long time Maya, like almost as long as I can remember. I never really thought much of it, but it's getting worse. They shout louder. They call each other worse names. And it happens more often. Mom went out of town just to ensure they wouldn't fight while the guys came over."

Maya was stunned. She'd only seen Mr. and Mrs. Minkus a handful of times, but they had always appeared to be the perfect, little, extremely well to do, family; like a richer version of the Mathews. She had never imagined that Farkle's life was lacking anything. How could it be when he had the option of everything at his fingertips? How could she have known him their entire lives and never had a clue the weight he was carrying?

"Is that why your grades started slipping, because it got worse?" she asked curiously.

No…

"That was part of it," he hated lying to her.

"Does the other part have something to do with Riley dating Charlie Gardner?"

Farkle's head snapped back toward her, both surprise and confusion written all over his face.

"Isadora Smackle is my girlfriend." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I know, but I've seen the way you get whenever Charlie is around Riley. There's something going on there." She refuted, offering him a window of opportunity.

Should he tell the truth about Riley's feelings? She had been the one to bring up Riley and Charlie and ask why he was so invested. It was kind of the perfect out. He was seriously considering it, but no, he couldn't say anything. He had promised Riley time and given her his word.

"I'm not jealous of Charlie. I'm just…concerned for Riley."

Concerned for Riley? Because of Charlie? Okay, he wasn't her favorite person. He was extremely nosy, but she assumed that was only because of Riley's history with Ranger Rick. He was a little stalker-ish too, but not in a dangerous way. Had Farkle picked up on something she hadn't?

"Why? You don't think he's a good guy?"

She was happy to see her friend finally figuring out her feelings, but she didn't want her to get hurt.

Farkle considered his response. It wasn't that Charlie was a "bad guy" he just knew that he wasn't actually the guy Riley wanted.

"I don't think he's a bad person. I just think he really likes Riley."

Maya's face scrunched in confusion. "And that's bad because?"

How could he say this in a way that wouldn't betray Riley but would still explain his concern?

"The guy has been waiting a really long time for his chance with Riley and she's just now starting to consider him."

The blonde heaved an exasperated sigh, "Would you stop speaking in riddles and just say whatever it is you're trying to say without actually saying it, please?"

Could he?

"I'm just saying he's wanted her a lot longer than she's wanted him."

She still didn't understand.

"And that worries you?

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I want Riley to be happy."

"So do I, but she seems happy with Charlie so why all the concern?"

Farkle thought carefully about which seed to plant here.

"I want Riley to be happy. You want Riley to be happy. Riley wants everyone else to be happy."

Maya couldn't deny that of her best friend.

"True, so?"

"So, that's what worries me."

Maya couldn't help but notice he was the same way. His entire world was possibly collapsing and he was sitting up here worrying about everyone else's troubles.


	37. Chapter 37- Pros and Cons

Riley felt trapped inside the kitchen of her apartment. Maya and Farkle were upstairs in her room and Lucas and Zay were asleep in her living room while her parents were upstairs. She had made and eaten breakfast before washing the dishes and wiping off the counters until she could see her reflection in their usually dull surface. There was officially nothing left to do and nowhere left to go. With her options dwindling she decided to sit in one on the living room chairs and lay her head down on the arm rest. Her lack of sleep was finally catching up with her and she just needed to rest her eyes a moment.

Lucas lay there in the floor, hovering in that moment between sleep and waking when he heard a voice calling him from dreamland.

"Yo, Lucas if you don't get up man, I'm eating your portion of breakfast."

The blonde boy yawned and rubbed his eyes, attempting to wash the sleep from them.

"Alright, alright," he grumbled, "I'm up."

Where in the heck was he anyway? And why was he in the floor?

"Shh! Quiet dude! You'll wake Cotton Candy Face." Zay whispered pointing toward the chair closest to the kitchen.

Lucas turned around and there was Riley, beautiful, thoughtful, silly Riley, asleep in the arm chair. She looked so peaceful with her head resting on her clasped hands. Suddenly it all came back to him; being at Farkle's house, Mr. Minkus bringing them to the Mathews, Riley sneaking downstairs to do something in the kitchen.

"Riley must have made us all breakfast" he observed as Zay drenched his portion in syrup and began hacking away at the mound with a fork. It was a very Riley thing to do.

Zay shoveled a generous bite into his mouth, "Oh man!"

Another bite, "So good."

Lucas made his way to the counter and loaded a few flapjacks onto his plate.

"Man, it's a good thing you don't actually have to choose between those two or this would be really difficult."

Lucas looked over at his friend, still stuffing his face. "Where did that come from?"

"Because if this were a choice between Riley and Maya these pancakes would definitely be another check in little miss sunshine's pro category."

Leave it to Zay to say the most inappropriate thing he can possibly think of in that moment.

It had been months since Texas and nothing had been resolved. He still didn't have a clue where he and Maya stood with one another. Yes, she had admitted at the campfire that she liked him but that was only after Riley had forced her to and Lucas had almost kissed her. She had never acted as if she liked him, at least not that he could tell. She had never specified how she liked him or what she wanted them to be. Neither had he.

He knew that he cared about Maya, that much was obvious to him by now; but how did he care about her? Did he care about her like a sister? Lucas didn't have a sister, so he had no frame of reference for that relationship, but he was still pretty sure that brothers and sisters don't kiss…which they didn't….or almost kiss. He still couldn't wrap his brain around the fact that he had almost kissed Maya Hart.

Why had he done that? He honestly had no idea. It wasn't like he had spent the last year wondering what it would be like or wishing he could know. She had gotten up in his face plenty of times before and he'd never even had the thought let alone acted on it. Yet somehow her face had ended up in his hands, her lips mere inches away from his own. He hadn't planned it. He hadn't even decided it in that moment. It had just happened somehow.

Maya was his friend. He liked to think she considered him hers too. Lucas had always been fiercely loyal and protective over the people he cared about. It made sense to him that he would want her be able to love herself, even if her father couldn't. It made sense that he would want her to believe in herself and her talent, that he would want her to be able to learn and grow that talent and share it with others. It made sense that he would want her to be happy. That's what friends should want for each other, isn't it? Was it normal to be attracted to a friend? I mean, come on, the girl is gorgeous, anyone with eyes can see that. Were friends allowed to think other friends were attractive? Or did that mean they had to be something more?

"Look at that, sleeping beauty rose without the help of prince charming," he winked as Riley began to awaken.

She slowly sauntered over to the counter. She'd eaten her portion several hours ago and was already feeling mildly hungry again.

"Good morning," she greeted the boys with a smile, wondering how long she'd been asleep. She glanced over at the clock. She'd napped for a little less than an hour…not nearly long enough.

"Morning sugar, thanks for the flapjacks. They were delish!"

She giggled at his exaggerated response to instant pancake mix.

"You're very welcome Zay. I'm glad you enjoyed them."

Riley's gaze met Lucas's and that familiar warm tingle ran all throughout her. Why couldn't she just will these feelings away? Couldn't her heart understand that none of those glances or words were allowed to mean anything anymore?

"Hi," he all but whispered with a smile.

"Hi." She couldn't help but return his goofy grin with one of her own.

"Hey," it slipped out before he could even realize he'd done it, "so yeah, thanks for breakfast. These were great." He pointed to what was left of his pancakes on the plate with his fork.

She tilted her head in question…had he just? That had been their thing, a symbol of his more than friendly feelings for her; feelings he now had for Maya. So why was he doing their thing with her?

"I was nothing really. I was happy to do it."

At that moment Cory came walking down the stairs, Farkle and Maya following behind him. He rubbed his hands together and clapped just like he sometimes did in class. He was obviously preparing for an announcement of some kind.

"Alright boys, I need you to finish up your breakfast…do I smell pancakes" he asked his daughter with a smile before remembering the purpose of this conversation. "Nevermind, I need you boys to eat your breakfast and get cleaned up. I'll be taking you all home shortly. Farkle, your parents will be meeting us there."

"Yes sir," the boys all replied in unison.

Cory looked over hopefully at Riley.

"Did you by any chance save some for mommy and daddy?"

She smiled sweetly, "in the oven."

He grinned overenthusiastically and hugged her tightly. "You know you're my favorite daughter."

"I'm your only daughter," she corrected.

Maya watched the scene before her with mixed emotions. She loved Riley and wanted her to be happy more than anything in the world. And Riley was happy. She had every reason to be. Riley had everything she wanted, like her father's love and respect, a guy who thought she hung the moon, everyone's high opinion…and even things she didn't want, like Lucas's attention. Just once Maya would like to know what it feels like to be Riley Mathews. From where she was standing Farkle had no reason to be so concerned.


	38. Chapter 38- Breaking the News

Jennifer Minkus had threatened divorce several times over the years. Sometimes she would throw her ring at her husband and spend days without it. It was beautiful and extravagant and had once felt like a declaration, but these days…the days she did wear it, it felt more like a burden; thick and heavy.

She had only been gone two days. That was all the time it took to really examine her life and put things in perspective for her. Stuart wasn't a bad man. He was a hard worker, incredibly intelligent. His employees seemed to respect and admire him. Despite his recent behavior, she knew that he adored their son…even if he didn't appreciate him the way he should.

Jennifer didn't know if he still actually loved her anymore, but she believed there was a time in their life together when he had. If she was being honest, she wasn't so sure that she still loved him either. She cared for Stuart as a person. She would never want him hurt or unhappy, but that wasn't really the same thing as the love they had once found somewhere in the middle.

They were a couple born of selfish greed and personal gain. Stuart Minkus was the quintessential nerd in high school; not exactly the kind of qualities to allure the hottest, most popular girl in school. His short stature, shaggy hair, and coke bottle glasses had done nothing to excite her, but the projection of his success after graduation and the inevitable millions destined for his future bank accounts had. Stuart Minkus was going to be somebody someday and it would be better for her to latch onto him now while he was just getting started.

He seemed to enjoy being the kind of man everyone envied. He'd walk into a room with her and suddenly every guy in the place wanted to be him. He'd eaten that up and swallowed it whole. He required some effort in the aesthetic department as well as some social etiquette, but together they were the king and queen of promise; a living breathing super couple ready to take the world by storm.

She hadn't expected to do more than tolerate him, but gradually she found herself not hating him. Their conversations became less tedious, their silences less awkward. Their smiles became genuine and laughter contagious. He knew that she wasn't in love with him, but he appreciated all the things that she did for him and the way she contributed to their partnership. Somehow she grew to care for Stuart and then one night after yet another fabulous party halfway through their conversation it had dawned her; they loved each other. Marriage seemed like the next logical step.

They'd been happy then, when their love was newly discovered and the business had just gotten started. Stuart left for the office at the crack of dawn, but was always home in time for dinner. Nights were spent tangled up in one another. Anniversaries were actually celebrated. He had been a loving husband and a doting father once upon a time, and together they had achieved everything they had ever dreamed.

Unfortunately success comes at a price, one that seemed much steeper to the wife and mother than it had the materialistic teenager that had chosen this path. He still went into work early in the morning, but he no longer came home for dinner. In fact, sometimes he didn't come home at all. No occasion was too special not to miss anymore. At first she had found herself missing his presence, but the longer he stayed away the easier it became to be without him…until eventually she didn't really even want him there anymore.

She had grown tired of the sleepless nights in their empty bed and the numerous hours she had spent crying. She hated the way they screamed such hateful things at one another and then went days without speaking. It bothered her the way she could still feel alone even when he was standing right next to her playing the role of dutiful husband…but when her son had told her that he'd been afraid to invite his friends over because he didn't want them to hear her and Stuart fighting, that was when she realized exactly how bad things had gotten.

In those two days there had been no chaos, venom, or indifference. There had only been peace. Jennifer had been enjoying the sound of silence and tranquility so much that she was actually dreading going back home. She knew that she would never be able to take this feeling back there with her, and this was what she truly wanted for her life. What she and Stuart were doing to one another, it wasn't good for either of them, and it certainly wasn't good for their son. No child should have to grow up believing this twisted toxic thing between them was what love should look like.

And just like that her decision was made. She was finished making threats. Jennifer Minkus was going to go home and tell Stuart she wanted a divorce. Of course, she hadn't gotten the chance. She was already on her way back when she had received his call. She sat there watching it ring, knowing this was a conversation they shouldn't have over the phone. They would sit down and discuss matters like reasonable adults…hopefully.

Stuart was already in the penthouse waiting for her and Farkle when she came through the door. The look on his face instantly made her wish she had listened to his voicemail. She hadn't expected him to be here.

"I figured you would be at the office,"

He didn't seem surprised that she was home early, but his expression had transformed from haggard to confusion when she'd said he wasn't supposed to be here.

"Didn't you get my message?" he asked incredulously.

She had she just hadn't listened to it.

"I was driving when you called. I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet."

That was partially true. The truth was she had plenty of opportunity she just chose not to.

"Oh," he seemed crestfallen at her confession. "Well, I'm glad that you're here."

Jennifer's eyes grew wide. She honestly couldn't remember the last time her husband had said those words to her.

"You are?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, there's something we need to talk about. Something happened that you should know about." He gestured to a chair in the living room.

This was the kind of news you had to sit down for? This was bad. Whatever it was, it had to be bad. She sat down slowly, examining Stuart's features. He seemed tired and worried. Had something happened to Farkle?

"What happened? Is it Farkle? Is he okay?"

Stuart gestured with his hands for her to slow down, assuring her that their son was fine…for the moment.

"Then what's going on Stuart? You're starting to scare me."

"I uh, I made a mistake, actually I made a lot of mistakes," he trailed off.

Did he know she was leaving him? Is that what this conversation was about?

"I noticed some missing money on an account about a month ago." He explained.

It was about the company. It was always about the company.

"Turns out that was just the tip of the iceberg. Someone has been embezzling from the investors and filtering it through phony charities at Minkus International…for years."

Jennifer hated to hear that. The company was everything to Stuart, not to mention her son's financial future.

"I'm really sorry Stuart, but I'm sure you'll be able to bounce back from this. You always do." She offered reassuringly.

"You don't understand Jen. I don't even know how bad this is yet. It could mean anywhere from liquidating assets to prison time. Even if I manage to avoid prison we could still lose everything."

Jennifer sat there silent, trying to process the words coming out of her husband's mouth. She had come home to tell him that she couldn't be his wife anymore but instead he had an announcement of his own. For the first time in years he truly needed her. She couldn't leave him now in the middle of everything, could she?

"Farkle is going to be here any minute. We need to decide how much we are going to tell him." Stuart noted.

"I think we have to tell him everything. He's too smart not to. If we don't he's just going to put it together on his own and I don't know about you but I would much rather him hear it from us."

Stuart knew that she was right. As much as the idea of telling his son about his failure pained him there was no real way of hiding it. Once the IRS was made aware it would be everywhere; TV, radio, internet. There was no keeping it from him…or anyone else for that matter.

When Farkle had arrived home his parents were already waiting for him. They were sitting together in the living room, even holding hands. To most kids that wouldn't send up bright flashing neon warning signs, but his parents hardly ever represented a united front on anything, and lately they could barely tolerate one another.

He threw his hands up in protest upon entering the room.

"Whatever it is, I don't want to know."

Stuart and Jennifer gave one another a sympathetic look.

"Contrary to what my now less than perfect academic record implies I am still a genius. I know that something really bad is happening. Dad never leaves for work in the middle of the night. Mr. Mathews freaks out when Lucas is in her room during daylight but he let us sleep over, and you two never hold hands or look at one another with anything but intolerance. Something was big enough and bad enough to change every one of those facts and whatever it is I don't want to know."

Jennifer released her husband's hand and stood to face their son with her arms on his shoulders.

"I know that you don't want to hear what we're about to say. I don't want to have to say it."

"Then don't!" he insisted.

She steeled her expression. She didn't want to worry him any more than he already was.

"I have to. Because whether we like it or not this is happening, and it affects all of us." She took his hand and guided him to the seat across from theirs.

"The first and most important thing I need to do is say that I am sorry," Stuart began.

"You're right, something is happening and it has been for a while. I was worried and stressed and I took it out on you and your mother. That wasn't fair to either one of you. You did nothing to deserve that and no matter what reason you got that B, I am still incredibly proud to call you my son, not just because you're a genius, but because you are also a good person who tries to do the right thing."

As much as Farkle appreciated his father's apology and his pride in him, he was more concerned with the current events which had provoked it.

"What's happening?" he asked even though part of him still didn't want to know the answer.


	39. Chapter 39- Reasons and Excuses

When Riley was a little girl she used to stay awake until the early hours of Christmas morning; listening for sleigh bells and trying to see Rudolph's nose glowing in the sky. Of course now she was old enough to know that Santa Claus wasn't actually one person who flew around the entire world in one night delivering gifts, but she still chose to believe because that's who Riley had always been. If there was joy or good in any concept she clung to it.

This Christmas Eve everything was different. It wasn't the spirit of Christmas keeping her awake. It was the memories. This time last year Lucas had just barely become part of their lives. They were all still getting to know one another. Riley would think about the day they met and remember the way he had smiled at her as he introduced himself. Now when she thought about that day she wondered if he had been thinking about the blonde beauty he had met only moments before and wishing she had been the one to fall into his lap.

In the last few months Riley's brain had completely rewritten history. They had shared so many wonderful moments between them; moments she had cherished and thought she understood at the time. It had taken her a while to realize that it had never really been just the two of them. The first smile he'd ever given her, Maya had been standing right next to her. Their first real conversation in the library, Maya had sat only a few feet away looking out the window discovering what an amazing artist she was. The day he had called her a princess he had also made Maya his secretary of the class because he trusted her and valued her opinion. Even their first date…that look on his face when they had walked down the stairs, onto the platform, had that been for Riley or Maya? She honestly didn't know anymore.

It wasn't as if she thought Lucas had led her on. He was the sweetest most wonderful person in the entire world. He would never do that. He wouldn't have pretended to care about her if he didn't. So maybe some of those moments had been real, maybe he just felt differently than he used to? They had tried dating for all of five seconds before they realized that they didn't make a good couple. They had mutually agreed that the best course of action was to break up and go back to being just friends. So if he had moved on to Maya he hadn't done anything wrong.

Maya and Lucas had had significant moments too. She had tried to ignore them, pretended she didn't see; everyone just assumed she was too blind or naïve to realize something was happening between them, but she had known all along it was there. Lucas had chosen Mayaville over Rileytown that day in detention. When there were no rules or expectations he'd chosen to follow her best friend. He'd fought for her happiness and talent with such passion, and that silently gazing into one another's eyes thing was impossible to miss, even without Zay's commentary on the matter. He'd called Maya beautiful…he'd never said that to or about Riley. She was just the pretty brunette. He had danced with Maya at the semi-formal, even though he'd had ten months to ask Riley to the dance and never had. And then of course there was the "something" that happened in Texas.

She had seen Lucas's growing feelings for Maya, yet somehow completely missed her best friend's feelings for him. She had heard all the nicknames and ha-hurr-ing. She'd seen Lucas first. She had talked to him first. She had even asked him out, and he had never said yes or no to her. How had she missed that at the time? Maya was his equal. She was never intimidated or awkward around him. They just were. The only thing that had been holding them back was Riley, and she was completely out of the way now.

So then why weren't Maya and Lucas together already? And why had Lucas accidentally done their repetitive greeting thing with her the other day? And if she was doing the right thing why did everything feel so horribly wrong?

"Uh-oh," she heard her uncle's voice from the living room. He had come up early and was spending the night on their couch. The rest of the family would arrive in the morning for the family festivities.

"If you get into that dinner before tomorrow your mom is gonna lose it. You know that right?"

Of course she knew that. Her mother had spent the last three days preparing everything for their Christmas dinner and if her reaction the year before was anything to go by, whoever touched it without permission would likely find themselves dealing with a very angry Topanga. No one wanted that.

"Relax Uncle Josh, I'm just making some cookies."

The seventeen year old boy eyed her skeptically.

"Riles, there's like twenty different kinds of desserts already."

She shrugged as she pulled out a tub of cookie dough and some baking sheets.

"But there's no sugar cookies with rainbow sprinkles, and that's what I'm craving."

She pulled the small bottle of sprinkles from a drawer and shook it like a maraca.

Josh knew for a fact that there were already sugar cookies made so either she was very particular about what type of sprinkles had to go on her cookies or she couldn't sleep and was looking for an excuse to bake.

Riley spooned out a portion of the cookie dough from the tub. They had bought it from Auggie's school for yet another fundraiser or sales competition. It came already frozen so you had to mold it like clay in order to thaw it enough to create a cookie shape. Honestly she didn't mind. She kind of enjoyed playing with the dough in her hands.

She placed it in her palm and began to roll the dough into a small ball until it had warmed enough to be pressed into a flatter circle.

"You, uh, want some help with those?"

Riley just shrugged again as her hands continued to work.

"Only if you want to." She replied.

That seemed to be the stereotypical Riley response. She was always so concerned with making other people happy, giving other people what they wanted. Had she ever made a single assertive statement on her own behalf? If she had he couldn't remember when. Josh walked into the kitchen and washed his hands before toweling them off and beginning to mimic her actions.

"So do you want to talk about it?" he asked, forming the dough in his hands into a small distorted ball.

"What would we talk about?" she responded, glancing up from her handiwork.

Now it was her uncle's turn to shrug.

"I don't know, whatever has you so upset your baking in the middle of the night?"

How did he know that she was upset? She hadn't said or done anything to suggest that had she?

"Mom does it too sometimes," he explained as if reading her mind.

Could everyone see right through her so easily? Well everyone except Maya and Lucas, this is.

"It's nothing really. I'm just worried about a friend."

That wasn't a lie. At the moment she was concerned about all of her friends, especially Farkle. No one had heard from him since that morning with his dad's business emergency and they were all more than a little worried about him.

"Is everything okay?" He couldn't help but wonder who the friend was and why she seemed so hesitant to discuss it.

"I honestly don't know," That wasn't a lie either.

Josh nodded in understanding. "Well I hope that everything works out, whatever it is."

"Me too," she said with a sad smile.

They continued to shape the cookies in silence. Part of him wanted to ask about Maya but he wasn't sure he should. It was different when he just looked at her as some little girl with a crush. But that night in the dorms when she had looked into his eyes and talked about the way she noticed him, the things she knew about his heart and his character…in that moment she didn't look like a little girl. She looked like a young woman, still too young for him obviously, but he couldn't keep dismissing her feelings as an illusion or baseless infatuation anymore. Whatever they were, they were very real.

Ironically enough she seemed to feel more at fourteen than he had at seventeen. He was the one who had experienced crushes and attractions, but if he was being honest he had never looked at anyone with an intensity that mirrored the way Maya looked at him. Despite her age and the fact that it was incredibly inappropriate, it was hard not to be flattered by her fervor; to know that he had somehow unknowingly inspired such passion.

"Uncle Josh, how come you never come around anymore," she asked as she began to shake the bottle of sprinkles over the raw cookie cutlets they'd created. "I thought when you got into NYU it meant that we would see more of you, but instead it seems like you're never around."

Why had Josh been staying away? He'd never really bothered to ask himself that question. He had chosen NYU to get a little space from his parents and be closer to his brother, but he hadn't actually spent any time with him since he'd gotten in.

"I guess I've just been busy Riley." He really didn't know what else to say.

"What are you doing?" he gestured to the bottle of sprinkles she had very generously applied and was now pressing into the dough.

"I like to put them on beforehand so they melt into the cookie as they're baking." She explained before looking up at him with wide eyes, suddenly self-conscious. "Is that weird?"

Josh just chuckled. "No Riles, it's not weird. It's just you being you." He said with a smile.

Riley hadn't realized how much she had missed her uncle being around. It was strange, them being so close in age, to a lot of people, but to them it was just the way it had always been. She liked having him around and wondered if his hesitance to come back had anything to do with them crashing his dorm party and Maya's umpteenth declaration of undying devotion.

She hadn't meant to drive him away. She had only wanted to support her sister. If he had been staying away because they had made him uncomfortable at least he didn't have to worry about that anymore. Maya was completely over Josh and completely into Lucas. Josh would probably be relieved to hear that but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell him. He would more than likely see for himself later on that day.


	40. Chapter 40-Respecting Feelings

Maya Penelope Hart was never the kind of girl who sat up all night eagerly awaiting the next day, hoping something wonderful would happen. That was her best friend Riley. Maya was the kind of girl that had gone around telling other children there was no such thing as Santa Claus so that they wouldn't feel foolish when they found out on their own. However, this Christmas was a little bit different.

For as long as Maya could remember she had spent Christmas Day with either her grandmother or the Mathews family while Katie worked down at the diner. This year Katie wouldn't be working at the diner. She worked for Topanga Mathews now, and she had insisted Katie, not only take the day off, but join her family, Shawn and Maya included, for Christmas dinner. Maya sometimes wondered if Topanga wasn't a bit of a fixer too. That entirely family seemed to constantly be searching for a way to improve the lives of others. That was one of the many reasons she loved them all so much.

She was looking forward to seeing Shawn too, not that she didn't see him often. He had more than made good on his promise to be there for her. Even when he was away he called and messaged, he took her to art exhibits and listened to her talk about her father. He had become such a big part of her life in such a small amount of time.

The party was already in full swing when Katie and Maya arrived. Riley was in the kitchen helping her mother and grandmother when Shawn opened the door.

"Peaches!" Riley called out, her smile highlighting her features.

"Hey honey, hi Shawn," she responded with a smile of her own.

Shawn had yet to reply or acknowledge her he was just standing there, holding the door rather awkwardly with a goofy expression on his face. Maya's words finally breaking his trance.

"Huh? Oh hey! Hi kid! Merry Christmas!" He exclaimed as he hugged the girl, still watching Katie standing in the doorway.

Maya was so distracted by the scene between Shawn and her mom that she hadn't even realized Josh was standing at the bottom of the stairs watching her. As she stood there in her wine colored dress and matching heels the only word his brain seemed capable of registering was wow.

He'd recognized that she was gorgeous the moment he saw her last Christmas, and he'd be lying to say it hadn't caught him a bit off guard. In that moment he'd been stunned, but then he remembered she was three years younger than him and was able to regain his composure and objectivity. Every time he saw her she looked less and less like a child. Maybe that was why he had been staying away.

Riley watched, waiting for a reaction. The old Maya would have fallen apart at the mere mention of her uncle but she either didn't know he was there or didn't care, because she hadn't acknowledged his presence at all.

After what seemed like an eternity of standing awkwardly at the door Katie finally managed to shuffle her feet into the apartment and Shawn eventually realized he needed to close the door. They had mumbled greetings before heading in opposite directions, but that didn't seem to stop them from stealing glances when the other wasn't paying attention.

Try as she might, Maya couldn't understand why they were acting so weird. She had hoped there might be something between the two of them, and it had seemed that way for a little while. But then they had actually gone out on a date and realized that they didn't really like one another that way. She didn't know what had happened during their date to bring the to that conclusion, but they hadn't gone out again since, and her mom had sat her down and made it perfectly clear that they weren't going to.

She leaned over the edge of the couch and tapped Cory's shoulder. "Hey Mathews," she whispered.

Cory turned his head in her direction.

"What's the deal with Shawn and my mom? Why are they acting so weird all of a sudden?" He was the wisest person she knew and he was Shawn's best friend. If anyone could make sense of their bizarre interaction, he could.

"Your mom makes him nervous."

The blonde girl's eyebrows knit in confusion. Mathews answer didn't make any sense to her.

"Why would mom make him nervous?"

Cory shrugged as if the answer was obvious. "Because she's a very pretty woman whose company he enjoys."

So Shawn liked her mom? That meant she was the one that didn't want him. Maya's heart instantly went out to Shawn. She knew how it felt to be rejected.

"But I thought he was this epic ladies man?"

Cory nodded with a smile. "He was until he actually fell in love with someone. Then he turned into another bumbling idiot boy like the rest of us."

Maya was still processing this when Mr. Mathews added "when adults haven't really liked someone for a long time sometimes we revert back to junior high and forget how to interact with the opposite sex."

So her mom and Shawn were acting all weird and uncomfortable because they liked each other? If that was true then maybe there was still hope for her time capsule wish to come true after all. Maya didn't want to hope too much...but maybe just a little would be okay.

She turned around just in time to find herself face to face with Josh. Josh who she hadn't seen in several months. Josh who was still three years older than her. Josh who apparently still made her stomach do flip flops. Josh who she had somehow forgotten was going to be here.

"Hi Maya," he greeted her with all his boyish charm.

"Hi," she replied with a watery smile as she desperately wished for the power of invisibility. She needed a rock to hide under or the bowels of the earth to open up and swallow her whole. She really didn't care, as long as she wasn't having to stand there awkwardly in front of him feeling so childish. Despite his promise, she was certain that was how he would always see her; as a child.

Riley didn't know what to feel as she watched her best friend and her uncle standing there. She was glad that Josh would feel more comfortable coming around again, and happy that Josh's presence would no longer torture Maya as it once had...but seeing her so calm around him only further drove home the fact that Maya was completely head over heels for Lucas. Then again, who wouldn't be?

Riley and Maya were usually attached at the hip but not this year. They both flitted around the room, making the rounds talking with different people, but hardly at all with one another.

"Merry Christmas Maya," Josh offered as he walked over next to the petite blonde.

She glanced at him sheepishly and smiled. "Thanks Josh, you too."

"No Uncle Boing? No witty banter?" He placed his hand over her forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

She chuckled at his concern.

"I'm fine. I'm just finally respecting your feelings...or lack thereof." Wasn't that what he wanted? For her to finally hear him.

He nodded knowingly and ran a hand through his dark hair. "It's funny you should say that because I actually came over here to talk to you, and to apologize."

"Apologize? Why?" She asked incredulously.

"For not respecting your feelings. I never took how you felt about me seriously. I just kept dismissing you like they didn't mean anything and that was wrong of me. So I'm sorry and I hope that you'll forgive me."

She smiled, this time more genuine.

"Of course I forgive you Josh. I know you never meant to hurt me. That's not who you are."

Maya spent the rest of the dinner with a million thoughts swirling in her mind. She thought about what Mr. Mathews had said about Shawn and her mom and how he thought they still liked one another. A theory that had been further supported when they accidentally wound up under the mistletoe later that evening. Maybe they couldn't communicate with words anymore but that kiss sure seemed to say an awful lot. She had never actually been kissed but it was everything she imagined a kiss should be.

At first they both stood there in shock, nervously smiling and laughing at their predicament until finally Shawn had placed a hand on her mom's lower back and pulled her closer until their lips touched. Slowly she began to kiss him back as her hand raised to touch the side of his face and he'd molded her body to his. They both pulled back smiling yet embarrassed once they remembered the audience witnessing this moment between them. How could two people who appeared so awkward together share such a naturally romantic and passionate gesture?

And why had that kiss made her think of Josh and not Lucas? Huckleberry was the one she liked now. He was the one that had come within milliseconds of kissing her so why hadn't he been the one to come to her mind when she imagined being kissed like that? And why did Josh still seem to have the same power over her that he'd always had? She shouldn't be feeling these things anymore, should she?

She didn't feel like this whenever she was around Lucas. She felt other things…different things, but not the same. Josh had always had the ability to melt her defenses to the floor without even trying. All he had to do is smile at her and she was putty in his hands. Whenever she was in the same room with him she was acutely aware of his presence. Every little thing he said and did seemed to get to her.

Lucas was attractive. It was an indisputable fact. The image of him dripping wet with his shirt clinging to his muscles had completely floored her whether she had been willing to admit it or not, but it wasn't until she got a glimpse of Texas Lucas that she had melted like butter. Maya wasn't nearly as fascinated by him though, as she was Josh. Whenever he talked all she heard was the male version of her best friend and information she could tease him with. She'd never had difficulty being around him or talking to him until everything had blown up in Texas. Now they were painfully awkward around one another. That was just further proof that she liked him though, wasn't it?

Mr. Mathews had said that we are awkward around those we like, but then why had Riley been awkward around Lucas when she only loved him as a brother? Everything she learned about feelings only seemed to confuse her more. Every time she thought of a way to invoke clarity she only wound up with more questions that didn't seem to have answers.

Josh didn't know what to make of his conversation with Maya or his reaction to it. He'd always known that she was significantly younger and nothing could happen between them. He certainly didn't think of her as more than Riley's best friend, but he had always kind of enjoyed their interactions. She'd made him laugh. She listened to him and made him feel special. She amused and comforted him that day on the subway. He should be relieved that she was finally getting over him yet he found himself missing her personalized term of endearment "Uncle Boing," and her sense of humor. Now that she was trying so hard to grow up, it was the younger Maya he seemed to be missing.


	41. Chapter 41-Like Mother, Like Daughter

Maya wasn't the only left completely baffled by the evening's events. Katie had replayed the entire day in her head a million different times and still couldn't make any sense of it. She had made up her mind months ago that she and Shawn Hunter were nothing more than friends. Okay, maybe friends that were physically attracted to one another, but she refused to believe that she had developed any sort of feelings for the man other than gratitude or friendship.

Of course, she had been lying to herself all along, and she knew it. She hadn't walked away because there was nothing else there. She had run as fast and far as her legs could carry her in the opposite direction because she realized there was. Katie hadn't truly opened herself up to anyone since Kermit and she wasn't about to start now. Even if she wanted to she wasn't sure that she remembered how.

In the beginning it had been her fear of getting hurt again that had driven her to put as much distance between Shawn and herself. If he could make her happy then he could also bring great pain, and she'd certainly had enough of that to last her this lifetime. Shawn had only risen to the challenge though. He had respected her wishes while still supporting her daughter, and honestly it was through their mutual love of Maya that she began to trust and lean on him. He had proven himself to be a good man; the kind of man that deserved the best of her. Therein lay the problem.

Her concern had shifted from protecting Maya and herself to protecting Shawn from her instead. He was a good man who had been hurt and abandoned more times than anyone should be. He didn't deserve to fall in love with a woman that didn't know how to love him back or let him in. She had already given up the best parts of herself to the very worst person she could find; and she didn't regret that because of Maya, but what could she possibly have to offer anyone when she was so used up and broken on the inside? Shawn and Maya both deserved better, but only one of them had a choice.

That kiss though! Maybe she couldn't keep him but she would always cherish that memory. Neither of them had expected it. That much was obvious. He looked just as shocked and nervous as she felt whenever they realized they had been standing under the mistletoe. She was embarrassed and awkward but also a little bit excited. She had tried to forget about him and stop imagining where they might be had their date ended differently but in spite of herself she couldn't stop wondering what it might have been like to kiss him. Now she knew.

His lips and been warm and soft; gentle. He'd been so careful with her, not wanting to disrespect her in any way. Which only made her more attracted to him. Instinctively her mouth opened and she returned his kiss, invited him in willingly. He'd gladly accepted her invitation and pulled her she close she could feel the heat radiating from his body next to hers. For just a moment the two of them had been in their own little world, and they both seemed to like it there. Of course, they weren't actually in their own little world. They were smack dab in the middle of the Mathews' apartment with everyone's eyes upon them.

Katie inwardly groaned. How could she have let this happen? There would be no plausible deniability of feelings now. Anyone in that room could clearly see there was an attraction there. Maya had seen it too. How on earth was she going to explain this to her?

"Knock knock," she heard her daughter on the other side of her bedroom door.

"Can I come in?" Maya asked tentatively.

Katie patted the spot on the bed next to her with a smile, "Of course baby girl, you're always welcome."

The blonde girl padded over to her mother's bed and sat down next to her.

"You like him don't you," she asked rather bluntly. They both knew who she was talking about.

Katie wrapped an arm around her daughter and pulled her close.

"It's complicated sweetie."

Maya looked up at her mother, reminding her of when she was just a little girl.

"But why? I mean you clearly like him and Mr. Mathews says he likes you too. Why isn't that enough?"

Katie wasn't really sure how to respond. She had her reasons but all her reasons were tied to the one subject she always tried to avoid when it came to Maya. She began running her fingers through her daughter's long blonde hair as she contemplated what to say.

"Feelings are complicated sweetheart. There's more than one way to like someone. There's even more than one way to love someone. And even if you manage to like or love one another the same way sometimes that still isn't enough.

Maya bit her lower lip as she thought about her mother's words.

"Did you love dad?" She finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Katie didn't know how to answer that either. She hadn't really ever known Kermit, let alone loved him, but she had loved the man he'd pretended to be in the beginning.

"I did."

Maya nodded. "Did he love you back?"

Katie's first instinct when it came to Kermit had always been to lie, but she remembered Shawn's warning. Maya was getting too old for her fairytales and even though she didn't want to hurt her, she knew she owed her daughter the truth.

"Honestly baby girl? I don't know if he did or not."

As much as she hated admitting it to herself there was a part of her that had always hoped maybe he did a little, at least in the beginning. That she had set herself apart from the others somehow.

Maya hadn't been expecting that kind of honesty from her mom on the subject. Once she had realized that Kermit was probably never the man her mom had made him out to be she had begun looking at Katie in a whole new light. She realized that her mom was not the person she had made her out to be either.

The young girl had always assumed that her mother was never around because she didn't care enough about her own daughter to show up. She'd taken every missed birthday or parent's day as some kind of affirmation that she only had half a mother. Isn't that what she told Riley? She had blamed Katie for Kermit not being part of her life; believing that she had driven him away when in reality he had simply made the choice not to step up…and suddenly the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"It's because of dad isn't it? The reason things are complicated with you and Shawn?"

Katie was speechless.

"W, w, why would you think that, baby girl?" she stammered.

"Because he left both of us mom. You loved him, and he left you…I don't even remember him and it hurts me. I can only imagine how you must feel." She stated with her palm facing upward.

Part of Katie wanted to end this conversation right now. As much as she had wanted Maya to open up to her, a significant portion of her was terrified of what her daughter might say if she did, She knew that sooner or later she would have to start being more honest with Maya about the man who had fathered her, and this seemed like a good opportunity to start.

"The truth is, baby girl that I don't know much more about your father than you do. I thought I knew him at the time, but the person I thought I knew wouldn't have left either of us…and he did."

"And you worry that Shawn will disappear on us too? I do that too sometimes, but he always comes back."

Katie smiled. "Yes, he does because he cares about you."

Maya laid her head on her mother's shoulder

"He cares about you too Mom. I think he comes back for both of us."

"I think you might be right baby girl." She said as she stroked her daughter's hair absentmindedly.

Maya pulled back and looked at her mother with confusion.

"Then what's the problem? If you like him, and he likes you, and you know that he cares about both of us then why won't you give him a chance?"

Maya sounded almost angry. Couldn't her mother understand what this would mean for both of them? To have someone that actually loved them, chose them? Didn't she realize that Shawn was the perfect fit for them? He saw Maya for the broken mess she was and he cared about her anyway. Surely he would be willing to do the same with her mom.

Katie didn't know how to explain her reasoning. She didn't want Maya to realize that something was irrepealably damaged inside her. She didn't want her daughter to understand that feeling.

"Maya honey, he can love you without being with me. He's already proven that."

The younger blonde ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"He could love you too if you'd let him."

"Why are you pushing for this so badly?" Katie asked her, trying to understand.

"Because I don't just want a father figure mom…I want a family, one that loves each other. I think we could have that together and I think all three of us deserve that."

Katie chortled under her breath. "Aren't I supposed to the one helping you grow up?"

Maya smiled back at her mom. "I guess we're just growing up together." She said.


	42. Chapter 42-Grand Gestures

**I apologize for those who ready both stories and find this message redundant, but due to distraction issues feedback on this chapter is particularly important. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings so that I can keep doing this story and your readership justice ;)**

Farkle Minkus awoke Christmas morning to the ringing of his cell phone. He glanced over to find a text message from Maya. "Merry Christmas Sparkles…Hope it's everything you deserve!" He was truly touched by her concern but also a little annoyed with her pity. He'd rather they just go back to their usual Maya and Farkle routine. Truthfully he was a little uncertain of what to expect. Every other year there would be a tree downstairs so high it touched the ceiling, surrounded by a mountain of material objects. The table would be set with a feast fit for a king and there would be an empty chair at the head of the table where his father should be. Christmas wasn't his favorite holiday or his least because, really, they were all the same. His father would substitute presence with presents and his mother would overcompensate for his father's absence. Farkle didn't expect much to be different this year.

Minkus International was in financial crisis, meaning his father's attention and care was more crucial now than ever. Stuart's apology had been very touching, and anyone who didn't truly know him probably would have assumed they meant he would change his ways, but in the end his words rang hollow just as Farkle had known they would. He'd spent every free minute since that night in the office trying to find a way to minimize the damage before reporting his findings once the holidays were over and the IRS offices were open.

Even though he had missed his dad and wished he'd been around more he'd never begrudged him for his success. His father had worked hard in life to reach the level of status he had obtained and Farkle knew he would have to work even harder to keep it. He was proud of Stuart and his many accomplishments. He just wished that his father were as invested in him as he was his company and its dividends.

He lazily climbed out of bed and began to trek down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom he stood there in both shock and amazement. The giant tree stood in the far right corner of the living room, so thoroughly decorated that every limb donned an ornament of some kind. Beneath it was ever present Farkle had ever asked for, along with things he probably hadn't even thought to request. The smell of their usual feast was tickling his nose from the kitchen, but most surprisingly of all was the image of both his parents sitting in the living room waiting eagerly for his arrival.

"There's our sleepy boy," Jennifer exclaimed as she looked up from her morning coffee.

"We were wondering when you'd be joining us," Stuart added with a smile.

Farkle stood there taking it all in, but still not quite believing his eyes. None of this was what he had been expecting this morning when he had woken up.

"I don't understand," he said rather dazed.

"The company just took a huge financial hit. Shouldn't you be at the office trying to save it? Shouldn't we be scaling back on our spending to counteract whatever we're about to lose?"

Stuart's smile quickly faded at his son's words. He bent down and placed his hands on Farkle's shoulders. He desperately wanted and needed to make things right.

"Whatever crisis the company is having it will still be there tomorrow or next week. I can't tell you what's going to happen next year or when I am going to be able to do something like this,' he gestured to the room with all its extravagance, "again, but right now it's Christmas morning and I am exactly where I should be; at home with my family. I don't want to spend today preparing for the worst. I want to spend today giving you and your mother the best day possible and showing you both how much you mean to me, and how sorry I am for being so derelict in my duties as a husband and father all these years."

Farkle shrugged his shoulders, "it's okay dad."

In the past Stuart had always accepted his son's forgiveness and understanding. He'd even used it to rationalize and justify his poor choices. He knew his apologies were only words but he truly meant them from the bottom of his heart. Yes, losing the company was scary, but what frightened him more was the idea of going to prison for corporate espionage and losing years with his family. Suddenly it wasn't acceptable to miss Farkle's next birthday or graduation anymore. He wanted that time. He wanted those years and he hated himself for how much he'd taken it all for granted.

"No, son. It's not okay. It was never okay and my biggest failure as your father was convincing you that it was. You and your mom deserve more. Never forget that."

He knew he wouldn't.

Stuart sat back quietly watching the moment between her husband and their son. Like Farkle, she had come to expect the least from Stuart and had been pleasantly surprised this morning to see that for once he was putting his best foot forward with his family instead. His apology to her had been significantly different but still just as heartfelt and tender.

She had been weighing her options in her head for the past week. Originally she had come back from that weekend with every intention of asking for a divorce. The only reason she hadn't done so is because Stuart was going through the worst dilemma of his life. She didn't want to kick him while he was already down and she didn't want to give Farkle any more trauma to adjust to than he was already facing. She had stayed out of duty and compassion, but not for love.

Like Farkle, she had assumed he'd spent the entire week at the office. Instead he had been preparing a Christmas morning to remember. He had put so much effort into this day. He had chosen the tree and decorated it himself. He'd hand selected every gift and even assembled some of them on his own, the less complex ones at least. He'd set the table for their dinner he hadn't cooked for fear of poisoning his family. It was the first time she had seen a glimpse of the man she married in a very long time.

Earlier that morning he had taken her hands in his and looked into her eyes the way he had done when they were young and in love. He had apologized for every late night, every harsh word ever spoken, and every baseless accusation. He had thanked her for every little thing that she had done over the years to support him when he had done so little for her and for staying when he had given her every reason not to. Mostly he thanked her for their son and for the young man she had raised him to be.

He'd admitted with sadness in his eyes that he knew she didn't love him anymore and that she probably wouldn't believe him when he told her that he loved her either. After all he'd spent years driving her away and proving the exact opposite. He realized that somewhere along the way they had become strangers who just happened to share a child and a last name, and he knew that it was mostly his doing. She had tried to hold onto him and what they had but he had been too consumed with the money and power he was gaining and how to keep doing so…and then he had offered her the out she had been considering for years.

He told her that if she wanted a divorce that he wouldn't fight her on it. He said it was the least he could do after fighting with her over literally everything else. She would have her fair share of their assets, whatever was left after the embezzlement scandal that is, and that he would take full responsibility for the disintegration of their marriage.

Had he offered her this deal any other day she probably would have taken it, but seeing the tears in his eyes and hearing the remorse he felt. She knew the man that she had loved and married was still somewhere buried inside him, and she wasn't ready to give up on him or their relationship just yet.

Much to his surprise and relief she had rejected his offer and agreed to stay his wife. As long as he continued to make an effort then so would she. He had no idea what the future would bring but it helped knowing that whatever came along she would be there by his side. Even though he would never have admitted it to her before this morning, he could never have made it as far as he did without her. They were always better together.

Stuart looked back at his wife and smiled. When she returned the gesture Farkle observed with curiosity and he found himself confused again. When his parents had sat him down and told him about Frank Miller embezzling an unknown amount of money throughout the years and filtering it through phony charities he knew his entire world was about to change and for the first time in his life he had rejected that concept. As a scientist he knew that change and growth were the only way for a living organism to thrive, but as an individual who was already in over his head with secrets and disappointments it was the last thing that he had wanted.

This scandal with Minkus International had seemed like the worst news in the entire world. Yet this horrible event seemed to be making things better somehow, rather than worse. His father was actually present and planning to spend the entire day here with them. His parents were smiling at one another instead of screaming or merely tolerating one another and for the first time in he couldn't remember how long they actually felt like a real family.

Just then Farkle's phone lit up with a second text message; this one from Riley.

"Merry Christmas! Hope you got whatever you were hoping for! "

He smiled as he glanced around the room again. He appreciated every gesture his father had made but even if he had left the tree naked, the table bare, and the floor empty Farkle wouldn't have cared. It still would have been the greatest Christmas he could ever remember.

He'd gotten exactly what he'd wanted most.


	43. Chapter 43-Invitations & Ultimatums

Riley sat on the couch of the bakery with a copy of sense and sensibility in her hands when Maya burst through the door.

"Hi Peaches!" Riley exclaimed.

Maya plopped down beside her and smacked her knee.

"Hiya honey!" she said with an enthusiastic smile.

Something certainly had her best friend in a marvelous mood. Riley thought about asking but then she realized she already knew the answer. They were seeing Lucas today for the first time in a week. That was probably what had Maya so excited.

"So have you started the assigned reading for break yet?" she asked as she tried to ignore the knot in her stomach that had formed upon her earlier realization.

"Well, I couldn't find it on audio and I can't make it through the movie without falling asleep so, nope, can't say that I have. Any chance you could give me the highlights?"

"So far? There are two sisters and they both fall for guys they can't have."

Riley's blunt summary cut a little too close to the bone for each girl at the moment.

"Sucks to be them."

Riley just nodded, certain she knew exactly what that felt like.

"Yeah, but at least they get to get all dressed up and go to the ball."

The blonde's face lit up, "like Cinderelli!"

"We should do that," the brunette said as her friend looked at her quizzically.

"Throw a ball?"

Riley smiled at Maya's reply.

"No, a party. Like a New Year's party. We can invite kids from school. It will be fun."

At the very least it could be a nice distraction.

Charlie hadn't meant to overhear their conversation, he just loved listening to Riley's voice and learning things about her. He'd been coming over with every intention of asking her out for a third date. This party seemed like the perfect opportunity.

"Hey Riley," he greeted her with a large smile. She always made him smile.

"Chahlie Gahdneh" Maya exclaimed. It was habit at this point.

"Oh, hi Charlie," Riley returned his smile with the false one nobody but Farkle had seen through.

"Maya," he acknowledged her presence briefly. Riley had already been hurt by one guy's roving eye. He wanted to make it crystal clear that his eyes were for her alone.

"Cheese Souffle" Maya replied in her 1950's announcer voice.

"I hope you had a good Christmas," he said gesturing with his hand nervously.

Riley's smile never faltered. "I did Charlie, thank you."

His grin grew wider if that was even possible.

"I just wanted to say that I've really been enjoying our time together and I was hoping maybe we could get together again soon?"

She wanted to say no. She'd already gone on two dates with Charlie and she still didn't feel any less for Lucas or more for him. Holding his hand had been awkward and sweaty, not at all an experience she wanted to repeat, but Maya was watching her. If Riley turned him down she might realize the truth and sabotage her own happiness with Lucas. Maya had just started to believe she deserved good things and Riley didn't want to ruin that.

"Of course, Charlie."

What had Farkle been so worried about? Couldn't he see the way Charlie looked at Riley or the way she smiled whenever he came around? She was obviously happy so why couldn't he just be happy for her, if it wasn't jealousy?

She tapped the brunette on the shoulder, "hey you should invite him to the party," she suggested.

"Party?" He pretended to have no idea what they were talking about.

"Yeah, we just decided to throw a party for New Year's Eve." She explained.

Farkle and Lucas walked down the sidewalk on their way to Topanga's bakery to meet the girls. Zay was still in Texas and wouldn't be back until the day before school started so it would just be the four of them for New Years.

"So, how was your Christmas?" Lucas asked.

It was the first time since any of them had seen Farkle since that morning when Cory had taken the boys home and they were all growing concerned with his silence. To his surprise Farkle smiled in response.

"Best Christmas I've had in years," he said honestly.

Lucas hadn't been expecting that. From what little he had accidentally overheard that morning and Farkle's lack of communication he had been expecting the worst. He was happy to see that wasn't the case though.

"How about you?" the dark haired boy countered.

The blonde boy shrugged, "It was alright I guess."

"You guess?" Farkle inquired.

Lucas pondered his response for a moment.

"Yeah, I mean it was fine, just me and my parents. Nothing special though."

Lucas hardly ever mentioned his family. The group had all met his mother at one point or another but his father was a different story. He had hoped their relationship would evolve as changes were made over the last couple of years, but even now that his dad was home he still wasn't actually present. He loved his father and he knew his father loved him, their relationship was just…complicated.

If Farkle noticed his evasiveness on the subject he had never mentioned it.

"Listen Farkle, I don't want you to think I was eavesdropping or anything and if it's none of my business just say so, but the night we were at the Mathews' I heard you and Riley in the kitchen."

The self-proclaimed genius began combing through his memories, trying to remember that particular conversation.

"How much did you hear?" he asked Lucas.

"Just you guys talking about your dad's work emergency and your parents fighting."

He'd also heard Riley and Farkle talking about Charlie Gardner but he didn't know whether he should mention that or not. He was curious though what Farkle had meant about not being fair.

"I guess we all have our secrets," Farkle replied vaguely.

They stood outside the bakery and were about to go in when they noticed someone talking to the girls. It was Charlie. Of course it was Charlie. He was like Velcro, always sticking to Riley. Farkle could easily see the displeasure on his friend's face.

"Maybe we should just hang out here a minute,' he suggested.

Lucas glanced over at his friend then back at the window.

"No, it's fine," he said as he scratched the back of his neck in an irritated manner. "Charlie is Riley's-" He couldn't bring himself to call him her boyfriend. "whatever. He's gonna be around."

No matter how much Lucas hated it.

"This ought to be interesting," Farkle mumbled as they entered the bakery.

Lucas's eyes landed right on Riley upon entrance.

"Hi."

Maya glanced over at the blonde haired boy. "Hey."

Her mind was still racing from thoughts of Christmas and her moments with Josh. Ever since that night she couldn't stop comparing the two guys or how differently she felt around them. The only thing she had decided is that feelings made no freaking sense!

Riley looked up at Lucas and smiled sweetly. "Hi."

Charlie noticed the moment between the two of them and was less than pleased about it but he knew exactly how to pinprick Lucas's balloon of hope.

"Hey Lucas, Farkle. The girls were just telling me about the party on New Year's."

"Party?" Neither Riley nor Maya had mentioned any party to him.

Charlie's eyes twinkled with delight. He was enjoying putting Friar back in his place.

"Yeah, Riley and I are going together. She just invited me."

Technically Maya had invited him.

"We just came up with the idea," Riley explained.

She could see the hurt and confusion in Lucas's eyes. He'd clearly felt left out. After their Cyrano paper together Riley had promised herself that she would find a way to platonically coexist with Lucas. In her attempts to push Maya and him together she had accidentally been tearing their friendship apart, and that was the very last thing she wanted.

Riley thought Lucas was hurt about not being invited but Maya realized it was more than that. He was jealous that Riley was going with Charlie. She knew that he still liked her best friend, but she also knew that he liked her. He had to, otherwise that moment in Texas would have never happened. She also knew first-hand how difficult it is to accept when someone you want doesn't want you back. It would take time for Lucas to accept Riley's true feelings. Maya understood that.

Farkle seemed once again, a little too interested in Riley and Charlie for her comfort level. She knew that he would never lead Smackle on. If he said that he liked her then she believed he liked her. After all, he'd fake divorced both her and Riley to be with Isadora. But there was still something off about the way he prickled every time he saw the two of them together. Riley seemed happy and he liked someone else. So if it wasn't concern and it wasn't jealousy then what was it that had him so twisted up in knots right now over Charlie being Riley's date to the party?

"You're all invited," Riley stated, but her eyes never left Lucas…until she remembered she couldn't look at him like that. Then she quickly shifted her gaze to Charlie, trying to avoid Farkle's obvious disapproval.

"Hey guys, why don't you talk amongst yourselves while I borrow Riley here a second," he grabbed her arm and ran out the door before anyone could object and drug her outside.

"Farkle!"

"Riley!"

"What are you doing?" she whispered harshly.

"I could ask you the same thing. Asking Charlie to be your date?"

"I didn't ask him exactly, it just sort of happened." She defended.

"How do you accidentally get a date to a party? Until this year I couldn't even do it on purpose, and I'm a genius."

Riley shrugged. "I don't know. He came over and asked me out, Maya mentioned the party, next thing I knew we were going together."

Farkle shook his head. "Wait, so Maya put you up to this?"

"No, of course not," Riley insisted.

She just suggested it.

Just like she suggested to Charlie that I didn't want to work with Lucas.

"Riley, you have to tell them."

She shook her head in denial.

"You know I can't do that. I can't take it back now. That will just make everything a mess."

Lucas's words from the library echoed in her head.

'Even if they're happy in that moment do you think they'll still feel that way once they know everything?'

No, confessing would only make things worse.

"Things are already a mess." Farkle stated. How could she not see this?

"You promised not to say anything." She demanded.

"No, I promised to give you time. You've had months to come clean, but we are not carrying this lie into the New Year. Either you tell them or I will."

"Why are you doing this?" she pleaded.

"Because I want all three of you to be happy and right now none of you are."

He left her standing out in the cold alone to contemplate his words.


	44. Chapter 44- Tensions & Tenses

Riley stood in the mirror examining her reflection. She'd spent at least two days trying to figure out what to wear to this party, whether or not to wear her hair up or down, curly or straight. She'd put more effort into her appearance for this one event than she had the rest of the school year combined. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that none of this was for her date Charlie. She couldn't care less what she looked like on their dates, but there was someone else there whose opinion mattered greatly to her. Too bad that someone was her best friend's boyfriend.

She flung herself on the bed, mussing up her hair. It shouldn't matter but it does and that's what bothers her. She needed to be more like Eleanor from sense and sensibility and stop letter her emotions rule her in these moments of weakness. It didn't help anyone for her to have these thoughts or feelings.

A pang of guilt swept through her. How many times had Maya felt this way over the last year and a half? How many times had she had to stuff her feelings for Lucas down as she watched him get closer to the wrong girl, her best friend? Riley had both parents, a little brother, and a roof that didn't leak. She really didn't need Lucas too.

She glanced over at the clock and sighed. Why had she decided to host a New Year's Eve party when that was the last thing she actually wanted to do right now?

"Mom, Dad, I'm heading down to the bakery to finish setting up," Riley called as she fumbled down the stairs.

Topanga called from the top of the stairs. "Your father and I will be there just as soon as the sitter gets here."

"Could you maybe not bring dad?"

"I heard that," Cory shouted.

"Why don't you want me there? I'm great at parties." He insisted.

"No honey, you're really not," Topanga corrected.

Why had Riley insisted on having this pseudo ball? What the heck do you even wear to one of those? A dress of some kind Maya guessed. Oddly enough she found herself more nervous about the company than she did seeing Lucas. The whole class would be there, watching all them like fish in a bowl. Apparently they took great pleasure in spectating her and her friends. They were partially to blame for this whole train wreck. After all, they were the ones that had voted her and Lucas cutest couple.

This wasn't a date. The two nights she had spent sitting in awkward silence on the couch at Topanga's, those had been dates (hadn't they?), but this was not. This was just a party with all her friends…and the guy who might sort of possibly but then again maybe not be her boyfriend. Shouldn't girlfriends be more excited to see their boyfriends? If that's even what they were. Which she's not sure it is. She's not sure of a lot of things right now. Would things still be this confusing if he had actually kissed her that night in Texas?

That was another thing confusing Maya. She and Lucas weren't great with words, but they understood the relevance of action. Her jumping on his back to keep him from beating up Billy. That was action. Him comforting her in the classroom by squeezing her shoulder that was an action. They were constantly acting and reacting to one another. That's what they did best, yet in their most crucial moment he had chosen not to act. Why? That made no sense to her.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" Riley asked as he walked through the door.

He grinned at her confused expression. She had no idea how adorable she was.

"I was invited."

She let out a small polite chuckle. It would be rude not to laugh, wouldn't it? Weren't girls supposed to laugh when their dates told stupid jokes that weren't really funny?

"I know that, but you're early. No one's even here yet."

He unbuttoned his coat and began to pull his arms free of the sleeves.

"You're here."

Another fake giggle.

"Yes, but I'm the hostess. I have to finish setting up."

Charlie removed his coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

"Is there any way I can help?"

She had to admit that was an extremely thoughtful gesture. It was the kind of thing that Lucas would do. Why did she keep comparing them? Lucas was her friend. Charlie was her date. They were apples and oranges; completely separate from one another.

"That's really sweet Charlie. You could help with those streamers on the table," she suggested.

He immediately began busying himself with the task assigned to him, eager to show her that he would do anything she asked of him, if only she would forget Friar and be his.

By the time Maya arrived Riley and Charlie had completed decorations and Topanga had given them permission to serve some items from the bakery's inventory. Everything appeared to be ready. The only thing missing was the guests who slowly began to fill in.

Riley was taking her hostessing duties very seriously tonight. She insisted on standing by the door and greeting each person as they entered. Partially because she wanted to throw this party correctly and partially because it gave her some breathing room when it came to Charlie. She was beginning to feel bad for the way she was treating him. Farkle was right, it wasn't fair. Especially when he had been nothing but kind and patient with her.

Farkle and Isadora came through the door in matching I'm with this genius sweaters. Their smiles matched too. They both radiated with happiness. It oozed from their very pores. Smackle had made a comment about New Year's being significantly romantic but Riley wasn't sure why it would be. Farkle had made subtle hints about the ticking clock; apparently he still intended to reveal her secret at midnight if she hadn't. Why couldn't he just stay out of this and let her handle it?

She already knew the answer. Farkle was one half of the Riley protection squad. If it was painful or unpleasant he did his best to shield her from it. He and Maya both. Maya was unaware of Riley's pain but Farkle wasn't and he wanted to protect her from herself. But if Farkle was protecting her then who would protect Maya? Who had ever defended her from the cruelties of the world? Couldn't he see that she needed protection too?

Lucas saw Riley standing there and decided to squeeze by her in the doorway. He could have waited until she moved. He could have said excuse me or asked her to let him pass, but he didn't do any of those things. This was the closest he had been to her since Texas and the moment didn't last nearly long enough.

"Hello, third wheel," Smackle greeted Lucas.

He genuinely had no idea how to react to this girl and the way she kept rejecting him when he hadn't even made an advance.

"I'm not your third wheel. I just happened to get here the same time as you." He explained.

Lucas honestly couldn't tell if she was joking or if she actually thought he was somehow hitting on her.

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you Lucas, even though everything else does."

Lucas's eyes widened.

Riley's jaw dropped.

"Smackle!" Farkle cried out.

She instantly winced realizing she'd made an error somewhere in that statement.

"Which part wasn't I supposed to say out loud?"

Farkle's expression lightened but he wrapped a protective arm around her.

"Nothing. You can say whatever you want."

He turned his gaze to Lucas.

"She's mine!" he exclaimed half joking.

Lucas had already presumable stolen two of his girls. He wasn't about to let it happen a third time.

"Tell her that!" The blonde haired boy defended.

He glanced back at Riley one more time before it dawned on him they were still standing in the middle of the doorway.

Maya was standing in a nearby corner holding a drink observing her classmates. She watched the way Farkle had staked his claim on Smackle. She'd honestly never seen him like that with anyone; including her or Riley. Of course the genius would be able to figure feelings out. Was there anything he couldn't reason his way into or out of? Probably not. She had noticed the way Lucas had lingered at Riley's side too. She couldn't say if it had been intentional or subliminal but he had clearly been in no hurry to join the festivities

Once the guests had all arrived Riley had no choice but to vacate the entrance and mingle with the guests. Charlie was the perfect gentlemen, constantly assisting her when something needed to be done, offering her refreshments, complimenting her every chance he got. He really was a great guy as far as Riley could see. It was a shame she couldn't bend her heart to her mind's will.

Maya and Lucas had stood awkwardly for about ten minutes before the petite blonde couldn't take it anymore.

"Is this driving you crazy yet? Because this is driving me crazy." She asked desperate to fill the silence between them.

"Say something, anything!"

He glanced down at her cautiously.

"The last time I tried that you poured a smoothie over my head."

Her face lit up in amusement.

"Yeah, that was fun."

He shook his head wearing a quizzical expression. He still couldn't see any sign of her interest in him other than her confirmation at the campfire. In fact, he rarely saw any indication of caring in any way unless you counted the time she jumped on his back in gym class or threatened to never speak to him again if he tried to ride Tombstone. Another few minutes of nothing to say and finally they began to mingle with other classmates.

Lucas had been genuinely hurt when he'd thought Riley had purposefully not invited him. Now that he was here he kind of wished he wasn't. He and Maya couldn't seem to communicate more than a few clumsy syllables at a time. Farkle was busy with Smackle, and Charlie was like Riley's shadow all night long. He had managed to pry himself from her side long enough to gloat to Lucas though.

"Hey Lucas," he greeted with a phony smile.

"Charlie," he replied curtly as he raised his cup of soda in his direction.

"Did you know that some people say that whatever you're doing when the clock strikes midnight is what you'll be doing all year long?"

Lucas fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"I hadn't heard that."

The dark haired boy's smile grew into a devilish grin.

"That's probably why so many couples start out the New Year with a kiss."

He slapped Lucas's shoulder as he prepared to pass him.

"Personally, I can't think of any better way to start my year."

That was Lucas's final straw.

He waited until Riley had disappeared into the back and followed her.

"Lucas, shouldn't you be out there? With Maya?" She asked as she dropped the box she was holding.

She had used the excuse of looking for more cups but really she just wanted a moment alone.

"I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about us."

Her stomach flipped at the word; us. Except there was no us. He was with Maya.

"We talked about us Lucas. In Texas. You're my-"

"I'm not your brother." He had to be very clear on that fact. He couldn't stand to hear her call him that word again.

"Friend," She had planned to say brother. "You're my friend Lucas."

He stepped forward, his eyes searching hers for answers. He couldn't live this way anymore. Always wondering; getting his hopes up and then having them fall back down again. If she really didn't care about him that way anymore he would have to accept that but he couldn't accept what he couldn't understand.

"Yes, I'm your friend. I've always been your friend, but we weren't just friends. We were also something else. Something more."

For the first time her pretend smile wavered and he noticed.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why now?" her voice was quivering like her insides.

"They say that what you do at midnight is what you do all year long. I don't want to spend all of next year watching you with some other guy, trying to figure out where things went wrong and how we got here. I don't want to spend another minute feeling like this Riley."

His voice was slowly rising and his hands had found their way to his hips.

"I don't get it. How did we go from you kissing me on our first date to you calling me your brother in Texas? I don't understand. I really like you Riley-"

She tried not to notice that he said like and not liked. Even if he did like her he obviously cared about Maya too.

"And I thought that you liked me too!"

Something took over her in that moment, chock it up to another moment of weakness.

"I do!"

And then she realized what she had just done.

"I, I mean, I did." She stammered.

He could see it, she was sure. It had to be written all over her like a flashing neon sign.

"You do or you did?" He was afraid to hope again, but it was hard not to when there was a possibility that he hadn't completely lost her yet.

"I'm sorry Lucas, I have to get back out there."

"Riley," he called as he reached out for her but she twisted to avoid his grasp and vanished into the crowd of guests.


	45. Chapter 45- Ringing Truths!

Riley emerged from the back of the bakery her fake smile plastered on her face. Farkle caught sight of her from across the room and instantly knew something was wrong. He politely excused himself from his girlfriend's side and began to walk toward his friend. Did this mean she had done what he'd requested of her? He felt a twinge of remorse for the way he'd handled this situation. He knew he had forced her to do something she didn't want to or believe in, but it was better than allowing the lie to continue. Of course, he didn't want to betray her confidence, but if it meant preserving the bonds of friendship between all of them the ends justified the means.

Charlie had been seeking Riley out like the title character of a where's Waldo book from the moment she'd left his side. He too had seen her come out from the back and made his way toward the girl he wanted so badly to end the night with. Of course he reached her before Farkle could.

Riley's thoughts and feelings were mixing into a dangerous cocktail within her. There was guilt over her betrayal of Maya and her misuse of Charlie, anger at herself for being so selfish, a reluctant relief that she had been able to finally be honest with Lucas, even it was only for a moment...and a muddle of other emotions she didn't even know how to name. He wasn't the only one that didn't want to feel this way anymore. She didn't know how to fix this but something had to change. It was the only way she could survive what she had lost or what she knew was to come in the not so distant future.

"There you are," Charlie greeted her with a smile as if this were completely ordinary and he saw her every day.

"Here I am," she echoed with forced merriment.

They just stood there awkwardly smiling at one another in silence a moment. Her confrontation with Lucas still swirling around in her head, nagging at her like a spoiled child.

"You throw quite a party. You've been the perfect hostess all night long. Looks like everyone's having fun," he said as he glanced around. There were people talking and playing games. The party was in full swing and midnight would soon be upon them.

Riley observed the room with a small ounce of pride that she had managed to pull this off, until she saw Maya sitting alone and remembered where Lucas was and why he wasn't sitting next to her best friend. She hadn't realized that Lucas and Maya had barely seen one another all night long or that they seemed to be much more comfortable when they weren't next to one another.

"It's almost midnight and I was kind of hoping you'd stand next to me when it comes."

Riley's head tilted in confusion. Why did everyone keep making such a big deal about midnight on New Year's? Yes, it was a holiday, but that didn't explain all the romantic implications people had been hinting at all week.

"For..? Why? Why do you want me to stand next to you when the New Year comes?"

He smiled sheepishly.

"They say that what you're doing at midnight is what you will end up doing all through the next year. I really enjoy your company and I wouldn't mind standing next to you all of next year. I'm actually kind of hoping for it."

Guilt wracked through her. She couldn't keep doing this to Charlie. It wasn't fair to keep letting him think she wanted the same things he did. Try as she might, she couldn't imagine standing next to him for another year.

"Charlie...there's something I really need to tell you and you're probably going to hate me for it. I think you're a really great guy and you've been wonderful to me...but there's someone else. Someone I have feelings for. Nothing is going to come of it, but I wasn't being fair to you letting you think that I was completely invested in this."

He took a step closer, his expression soft yet knowing.

"Riley, it's okay. I already know."

Her head shot up to meet his gaze.

"You do?"

He shrugged trying not to make a big deal out of her feelings for Friar or appear jealous.

"Yeah, I know you're still getting over him and I'm okay with that. I knew exactly what I was getting into."

Riley honestly had no words. All this time she had assumed that he hadn't been aware of her feelings for Lucas. She'd been terrified of the idea that she was unknowingly using him and how he might feel if the truth ever came out. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt anyone; including Charlie. Her guilt was gone. He'd completely absolved it with that one sentence, but something still felt off. She just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Then why would you go out with me, if you knew everything?"

He chuckled at her question, especially when the answer seemed so obvious.

"Because I like you and you're worth the wait Riley."

As far as romantic comments went that was right up there with "To me you're a princess." But it didn't feel quite the same. She was flattered that he thought so highly of her but there was no fluttering of butterflies in her stomach like there had been that day Lucas had made her childhood dream come true.

"I, I don't know what to say Charlie."

As far as Charlie was concerned this was a positive step in the right direction. Yes, she was admitting he wasn't her only interest, but he was still here, and she was starting to care about him enough that she felt guilty about her feelings for Friar. Slowly she was becoming his.

"You don't have to say anything. Just stand next to me when midnight comes. We can kiss if you're ready...most the couples probably will, or if not we can just hold hands and be together. I'll be happy either way."

Couples kissed at midnight? Suddenly all the pointed little comments about who is with who at midnight made perfect sense. If she stood next to Charlie at midnight then that meant they were a couple. If Maya and Lucas stood next to one another...well, they were already a couple. At least on an unofficial level. Would they kiss when the clock struck twelve? It probably wouldn't be their first kiss. Who knew how many times they had kissed since their first "moment" back in Texas.

Maya had been so insistent about telling her what happened in Texas, it hadn't been difficult to put together. Lucas's reaction to her announcement had only confirmed her suspicions. Knowing they had kissed was hard enough, but the thought of actually having to see it? Especially after her accidental confession tonight? She wasn't sure she could handle that. She was barely holding it together as it was.

Lucas had followed Riley out only to find her with Charlie Gardner. She was always with Gardner; talking to him in the hallway, inviting him to sit with them at lunch, holding hands after going putt putting. Riley was far too kind and considerate to be reckless with the feelings of others. He'd known that from almost the moment they'd met. She would never lead Charlie on so the only logical conclusion was that she must have some kind of feelings for the creep. How could she not see him for what he was?

'Because she sees the best in everyone.' He thought.

She wouldn't be with Gardner unless she could see something in him that Lucas couldn't. Then again it was possible that Charlie was actually a good guy and Lucas just didn't like that he had gotten so close to Riley.

But there had been moments between him and Riley too, hadn't there? When they were dancing at Chubbies and she said she always wanted them to be able to talk to each other hadn't there been something between them? Or the day he had told her she was his best friend? What about that morning in the Mathews kitchen when he had slipped up and done their "hi, hey" thing? He had felt glimmers of hope in those moments...but then he would see her with Charlie and they would plummet without her even knowing what she had done. Maybe that was his answer?

Charlie was going to kiss her at midnight. He had made that perfectly clear. Lucas's stomach churned at the mere thought. Just seeing him talk to Riley made his temper flare. What would Lucas do if he had to watch Riley kiss him? A few months ago he would have said that part of him was gone, but now he couldn't trust himself. He didn't want to get angry though. Riley didn't like seeing him that way...and that wasn't the kind of person he wanted to be anymore.

Then there was Maya. She may not act as though she liked him but she wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it, would she? He cared about her. He wasn't exactly sure how, but he was sure that he didn't want to hurt her. Watching him ram his fist through a wall over Riley and Charlie could possibly have that effect.

If what you do at midnight is what you do all year long then he needed to get out of here. He wasn't going to spend all year long standing in uncomfortable silence with Maya and he definitely wasn't spending it watching Gardner with Riley. This wasn't a date. He had come alone so he was free to leave at any time and he'd decided that time was now.

Farkle had missed something. He had seen Riley disappear into the back behind the counter. He had watched Lucas follow. He had no idea what had transpired between the two of them, but something had obviously happened. A million possibilities began running through his mind. Maybe Riley had told him she lied and he was angry with her? Had he told her that he wanted to be with Maya when she had confessed? It was also possible that he'd been relieved by her honesty but she was still pushing him away for Maya's sake. He couldn't say for sure until he had the chance to speak with one of them, whatever it was though it probably wasn't good. They had both looked extremely upset when they had left that room.

He didn't get the chance to talk to Lucas. In fact he didn't see him the rest of the night. After stepping out just enough to be seen by Farkle and see Riley talking with Charlie, he'd quickly retreated back to the area behind the counter and hadn't returned. Clearly he was either hiding or he had left the party at some point.

Matters with Riley weren't much better. He couldn't tell if she had been avoiding him because of his ultimatum or if Charlie had simply not given her a moment alone since the party began. He was surprised that she and Lucas had even had the opportunity to have a conversation. If Charlie wouldn't leave an opening then Farkle would have no choice but to create one.

"Is everything okay my former arch nemesis?" Isadora Smackle might not be so great at understanding social conventions but she did understand her boyfriend.

He hated that he hadn't given her the attention she deserved tonight. He'd been so distracted with his friends and their problems that he hadn't really been able to enjoy the party with her.

"I'm sorry I haven't been very attentive tonight," he began to explain. He wanted her to know that his waning focus had nothing to do with his interest in their relationship.

She cut him off with a smile.

"You're a good friend Farkle. Now go see to your dumb dumbs."

There was that feeling again; the one he couldn't even pronounce, let alone describe. How had he never realized how incredibly wonderful she was sooner?

He rose from his seat and crossed the room to where Riley was standing with Charlie by her side.

"Hey what's that over there?" He pointed randomly in a direction causing Charlie to look out of curiosity. Farkle grabbed Riley's wrist and yanked her out the front door before Gardner could even realize she was gone.

"I can't believe he actually fell for that," he mumbled as he led her away.

"What are you doing? Shouldn't you be with Smackle?" She asked trying to deflect from the conversation topic this impromptu kidnapping must be about.

"I saw you come out of the back earlier. Please tell me you told him."

She had...sort of.

"Why would I do that? He's here with Maya and she's my best friend."

"Actually he's not here at all. Not anymore. He left."

Lucas had left? When? Why?

"I told him okay? I didn't mean to but it just came out."

He didn't need to know that she had immediately taken it back and Lucas still didn't know the truth. She didn't want to lie to Farkle but she did want him to drop this obsession with outing her once and for all. And it wasn't technically a lie.

Relief washed over his features. No matter what happened now at least they were being honest with one another.

"I know you thought you were doing the right thing, but the right thing makes things better. Nothing was getting better Riley. They might start to now."

He hated how he'd forced her hand, but he knew it was for the best. He gave her a supportive hug before she pulled away.

"I uh, have to go get the noisemakers for midnight." She said before disappearing behind the counter. This time she didn't return either.

Maya had bounced back and forth between classmates the entire evening. Normally she'd have spent it with her best friend but Riley was on a date tonight. So was Farkle. She enjoyed their company but she didn't enjoy feeling like a third wheel so she had quickly excused herself and gone back to mingling. There was Lucas but being around him lately was about as interesting as watching paint dry. They just sat or stood there all weird and uncomfortable. They didn't smile or laugh. They didn't talk and even when they did she found herself searching for a way to liven up the conversation. Horses and Ho downs may have interested Riley but they didn't do much for her.

It was finally time for the countdown. Thank goodness this night was almost over! This was the worst fake ball ever. There were no singing mice and not a single Prince Charming in sight.

10...9...8...7…

Charlie glanced around the room, but Riley was nowhere to be seen. Looked like he was starting out the New Year being stood up by the girl of his dreams.

…6…5…4…

For the first time in hours Maya began to comb the crowd searching for her friends, but Farkle and Smackle were the only ones she could find. It didn't feel right, starting the New Year without all of them together.

…3...2...1...

 **Happy New Year!**

Maya figured that Riley would come find her after sharing a romantic moment with her boyfriend, but that didn't happen. Instead Charlie stood there alone and her best friend was nowhere to be found. Confused she threaded her way through the guests to where Farkle was standing with Isadora, who had just shared a chase but sweet kiss.

"Hey Sparkles! Have you seen Riles?"

Maya and Riley were the two closest friends Farkle had ever seen, or at least they had been. He wasn't sure when or how but somewhere along the way that friendship had begun to deteriorate. How else would Maya have just now noticed Riley's absence? How else could she not see what was right in front of her?

Farkle looked over at Isadora apologetically and she instantly understood. He was so lucky to have her and promised himself that he would do something special to make this all up to her as soon as possible. Then he grabbed Maya's wrist, just as he had done Riley's earlier and drug her outside, despite her protests.

"What gives Farkle?" The fiery blonde asked as she pulled her arm from his grasp.

There were times when Maya had intimidated him, but this was not one of them. His eyes met hers with an unusual intensity between them.

"Why so serious?" she jested, but Farkle wasn't laughing. He didn't even smirk.

"Riley is gone. She left about half an hour ago." He stated matter-of-factly.

He had to be mistaken. Riley was in the middle of a date with Cheese Soufflé. She was the one that had suggested this party and played Susie Homemaker all evening. She wouldn't just leave her own party, and if she did she at least would have said goodbye first.

"Riley wouldn't do that." She argued.

"She did."

That didn't sound at all like the Riley she knew.

"That doesn't even make sense. Why would she do that?"

Riley had already told Lucas. There was no need for him to say anything. It went against every ounce of sense he had, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself.

"My guess is she didn't want to see you and Lucas together at midnight."

The blonde scoffed.

"Do you see Huckleberry anywhere near here? And even if he was why would Riley care? They're brother and sister, remember?"

"No, Maya. They aren't!"

 **A/N Okay so before we go any further let me explain a few of my choices here. One, yes I took out the Lucas/Maya moment from the show. Why? Because I took the couple's game out of the story. Their development will come, but without that game I believe it would have taken a little longer for them to work through some of those things. Two, I do not hate Maya Hart nor do I intend to make her the villain of this story. Everything i have done is with purpose and can be backed (to a certain extent as I have taken a few obvious liberties with some of the lessons) with dialogue and events from the show as well as comments from the writers themselves. I hope you continue this journey with me and enjoy it as much as I do. :)**


	46. Chapter 46- Cracks in the Foundation

**A/N: The quotes are not direct from the episode, but you will get the gist. Remember everything I have done, I have done with a purpose. For every question I have an answer. This is merely the beginning ;)**

They returned to school a week later. In that time the news of the Minkus International embezzlement scandal had begun to spread like wildfire. It was common knowledge that the company's financial consultant had was being brought up on several charges of embezzlement, fraud, and tax evasion. The company's founder and chief of operations Stuart Minkus, could also possibly be facing charges, pending investigation results.

Maya's heart instantly dropped to her stomach on her poor Farkle's behalf when she'd heard the news. Suddenly their argument on New Year's didn't seem nearly as important. Yes, she was still completely baffled at how his over-sized brain had somehow come to such an incorrect conclusion about Riley's feelings or lack thereof for Lucas. She had boldfaced told them all that he was nothing more than her brother and friend. She understood Farkle's concern but it really was misguided. Riley would never lie. Even if she had, there was no way that she would have been able to fool Maya. They were the best friends on the entire planet. They could finish one another's sentences and read one another's minds. If something were wrong Maya would know.

She thought back to their conversation the week before Christmas. Perhaps Farkle was projecting? He didn't want to face the problems in his own life and so he had imagined one where there wasn't with Riley. From everything he had said about his parent's relationship and his father's late night damage control run, this scandal was Farkle's worst fears realized and Maya was very concerned where it might lead.

They were all standing in the hallway preparing to for Mr. Mathew's history class. Zay glanced around at his circle of friends. Whatever progress that had been made before he left had obviously unraveled after he'd boarded his plane. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

He whistled low. "Wow! I can't even leave you guys alone a couple weeks without everything going to heck in a handbasket!" he joked.

No one laughed, or even smiled.

"Not everything is about you Zay," Lucas snapped at his life-long friend; instantly regretting it. Why couldn't he reign in his emotions?

"Sorry," he mumbled remorsefully.

Zay just shrugged it off like he always had. "I know, man."

He never took Lucas's outbursts personally. It was one of the reasons they had been able to stay friends for so long.

"Did I miss something?" Zay asked to the rest of the group as Lucas walked away. He knew there had to be a reason Luke was wound up so tightly.

The blonde closed her locker and tapped on his shoulder as she breezed past him.

"You missed a lot twinkle toes." She said with a smirk.

Cory Mathews walked into his classroom and automatically sensed a chill. The windows weren't open and the heat wasn't low. This chill was emanating from his students. He slammed his briefcase on his desk, clearly upset.

"I oughta fail every single one of you! All you had to do was sit there and be still. I told you not to let anything bad happen to you, but did you listen? Do you ever listen? NO! Ya jerks!

"But sir," Lucas started.

"Pipe down Chachi!" Cory threw his hand up disinterested.

"Now what can any of you tell me about the Roman Empire?" he asked the class.

"That it wasn't built in a day," Zay jested.

"The Roman Empire rose along with the reign of Julius Caesar and became one of the most powerful and successful in the world until it fell from power a short five hundred years later."

Farkle stated as if reciting from his internal encyclopedia.

"Very good Mr. Minkus. Anyone know why the greatest empire in all of history fell apart in such a record breaking amount of time?"

"It imploded sir." Farkle replied.

"Right again! Even the most stable and prosperous of unions can self-destruct from its own weaknesses. Every empire, democracy, relationship, and friendship is only as good as the foundation it stands on. It has to be protected as it's built upon or the whole institution becomes vulnerable and crumbles under the pressure."

The friends looked around at one another. None of them had really spoken since the night of the New Year's Eve party. There were so many different rifts separating them all from one another. Was their foundation cracking?

The only thing they all agreed on was that they didn't want to lose each other.

Second period gave Farkle an opportunity to finally talk to Lucas. He didn't know how much Riley had told him, but he wanted to apologize for keeping her secret. He didn't want any more bad blood between the group.

"Hey, I just wanted to see how you were doing with," he hesitated unsure of how much to say, "you know, everything."

"I should be asking you that. When we talked you said you had a great Christmas. I had no idea things had gotten so bad."

Lucas couldn't believe it when he had heard about Farkle's dad's company. Not once had his friend let on that something was seriously wrong. Then again it was possible that there had been signs and Lucas had just been too wrapped up in his own personal drama to notice.

"I'm sorry if I haven't been a very good friend lately," he said earnestly.

Farkle was shocked that Lucas was apologizing to him, especially when he had come to do just that.

"I'm the one who's sorry. I should have told you the second I figured it out."

The blonde haired boy shrugged. "It's okay. I understand why you wanted to deal with it on your own, but I'm here if you decide you need a friend."

Did Lucas not know what he was talking about? Riley had said she told him how she felt. Maybe she had left him out of it?

"I appreciate that Lucas, and I hope you know that goes both ways."

"I do know that," he said with a small smile, but it quickly fell. Something was still bothering him, a lot of somethings actually.

"You know how Mr. Mathews was talking about the Roman Empire today?"

"Sure," Farkle had no idea where this was headed.

Lucas heaved a mournful sigh before continuing.

"Is it me? Am I the one ruining everything between all of us? Everything was fine until all this stuff with me and the girls happened. Now everything is awkward and uncomfortable and it's my fault."

Farkle watched him cautiously; confusion etched in his every feature.

"How do you think this is your fault?"

Lucas ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Couldn't Farkle see that none of this would be happening right now if he hadn't come to New York?

"Because I made a mess out of everything. I almost kissed Maya and I don't even know if I like her like that. I might even be dating her, but I don't know because we don't talk. We can't talk."

Farkle nodded.

"Do you want to be dating Maya?"

Did he? Lucas had wasted hours, weeks, months even trying to answer that question. How could he almost kiss Maya unless some part of him had wanted to? How could he want to kiss Maya but not want to date her? How could he want to date her and still miss Riley so much?

'Because you didn't stop wanting Riley. She stopped wanting you.'

Riley was taken. As much as Lucas hated that fact, it remained. She was dating Charlie Gardner and even if she wasn't she had made it perfectly clear she had no interest in being with him. He had been trying to do the same, but even with the beautiful, talented, passionate Maya, he couldn't stop thinking about Riley.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Farkle had expected as much.

"What about Riley?" He asked expectantly.

Lucas suddenly felt transparent. Had Farkle somehow read his mind or had he stupidly been thinking out loud without realizing it?

"What about Riley?"

Lucas found Farkle's intense stare somewhat unnerving.

"Do you want to be dating Riley?"

Did Lucas want to be dating Riley? Their first date had only lasted ten minutes but he'd enjoyed every second of it. Their second date was extremely awkward but it hadn't been all bad. He couldn't help but smile when she'd said he was one of her favorite people to talk to. He'd wanted to hold her hand and walk her home. He just wanted to be able to talk to her more. They'd agreed to be friends, but he'd never stopped wanting to do those things with her. He just thought they were waiting until they were ready.

Then Charlie Gardner came swooping in out of nowhere, Riley had called him her brother, and Maya had admitted to liking him.

"I don't know. It wouldn't matter. Even if I do, she's with Charlie."

Farkle was dumbfounded. Did he actually think that Riley's feelings for Charlie were stronger than her feelings for him?

"She went out on a couple dates with him. I don't think that's the same thing as actually dating."

That traitorous seed of hope was planted once again. Why couldn't he just let her go the way she had him? Why couldn't he just accept the answer he'd been given?

"Does that mean I'm not dating Maya either?" He hoped he didn't sound as relieved as he felt. He wasn't sure what they were or what the rules were supposed to be, but he had felt things for someone other than Maya since their moment in Texas, and he didn't want to be the kind of guy who betrayed his girlfriend.

"You'd have to ask Maya, but unless you've agreed on exclusivity I wouldn't think so."

"We haven't agreed on anything." He said with a lazy smile as he thought of the way they used to be back when they had actually enjoyed one another's company.

Farkle placed his hand on his friends shoulder for assurance.

"The cracks in our foundation aren't just any one person's doing, Lucas. We've all made mistakes with one another."

Farkle Minkus had been torn between the brazen blonde and the bubbly brunette ever since the first grade. Riley was day and Maya was night. Riley was innocence and Maya was mischief. They had always been the perfect yin to one another's yang, and that made the two of them somehow perfect for Farkle. He loved both the light and dark; he needed both in his life. That was part of the reason he'd never been able to choose between them. Because they were at their best together, and he loved them both at their best.

He wasn't choosing one over the other now. Everything he had done from the beginning had been to help them both, to protect them both. He didn't care who ended up with Lucas and who didn't. He just wanted his friends to be happy and to still be friends whenever this was over.

Thanks to Harper he now had two more opposites to compare them to; sense and sensibility.

"The untamed heart is reckless and can sometimes be a danger to ourselves or others."

Maya was the first to admit that she followed her heart, and it could certainly lead to trouble. How many times had she hurt herself in doing so? Every single time she had thrown herself at Josh and he'd rejected her. When she had gone chasing after the daddy that didn't want her or her mother. What about in Texas? She had been following her heart then too, hadn't she? Farkle and Riley had both come to the conclusion that she had feelings for Huckleberry and they were the two people that knew her best in the entire world. She had gone with whatever she felt in that moment, and in that moment she had thought for sure he was going to kiss her, but he hadn't. That had hurt her too…being rejected yet again; watching him pine over Riley the way she had done over Josh. Couldn't he see he was only hurting himself by holding onto her?

"A life ruled by sense is often a life unlived."

Maya had always said that Riley thought too much. She was the quintessential good girl. She always did the right thing, the safe thing. The only time she had ever not the right or safe thing is when she had been literally pushed into taking a risk. She knew that sacrificing her own happiness for Maya's meant denying herself certain things, but she had accepted that. She could live with that. As long as Maya and Lucas were both happy, that would make her happy, and everything would be okay….only according to Farkle right now none of them were.

"What's the most important word in the title?" Harper asked.

"Sense."

"Sensibility."

Riley and Maya called out in unison.

Harper shook her head with a smile. "And; Sense AND Sensibility. You need both."

Lucas sat there thinking about sense and sensibility, about Riley and Maya, fire and rain; trying to untangle this mess in his mind. He thought back to the New Year's Eve Party when Riley had said she had feelings for him and then taken it back. He thought about that night by the campfire with Maya when he'd come so close to crossing a line with her but somehow pulled back for some reason. He thought about telling Riley how important to him she was and her telling him they were brother and sister. There was something he wasn't seeing. It was like a puzzle with a giant missing piece; only once he found it would the picture become clear. Only then would he understand what had happened and know where to go from here.


	47. Chapter 47- Questions Without Answers

Charlie rushed up to Riley's side the moment English class was over. He realized that the party had been a bit of a setback but he wasn't about to give up just yet. He didn't like that he'd resorted to rolling around in the mud with Friar in pursuit of her, but she was worth it, wasn't she? She was beautiful and kind hearted, and literally everything she did just made him adore her even more. All was fair in love and war, wasn't it?

"Hey Riley," he greeted her, blue eyes sparkling.

Riley hadn't seen or talked to Charlie since the night of the party. She had felt bad about leaving him there alone when they were supposed to be on a date, especially when he'd been sweet enough to text her wishing her a happy new year and saying he hoped that she was okay. She hadn't had the heart to tell him why she had left so she'd made up some dumb excuse about not feeling well. For someone who didn't like lying she was becoming surprisingly good at it. Maya would be so proud, if she wasn't one of the people Riley was lying to.

"Hi Charlie," she said with that insincere smile she'd been wearing ever since Texas.

"How was the rest of your break?" he asked genuinely interested.

He wanted to know everything about her.

"Quiet mostly. Just spent some time alone with the family and finished up some homework. How about you?" She didn't really want to know, but it would be rude not to ask, wouldn't it?

"Mine was loud. My sisters sat on me like a bean bag chair and forced me to watch romantic comedies. I learned a lot about what women like that way though. I was hoping maybe you'd give me the chance to show you what I learned?"

Riley froze. How was it possible that he knew she liked someone else and yet still wanted to date her? She had stood him up and here he was asking for another chance as if he had been the one to do something wrong. He had basically given her permission to use him to get over Lucas without having to feel bad about it. How many other guys would do that?

Farkle had promised himself that he was done intervening, but when he saw Riley standing there with Charlie he couldn't help himself. To the untrained eye she appeared to be enjoying a friendly conversation but she was still wearing that fake smile and there was terror in her eyes. Charlie had obviously said something that made her uncomfortable and she was mentally searching for a way out.

"Hey Riley," he jogged over as if he had been in some kind of hurry for emphasis. "Sorry to interrupt Charlie," he really wasn't, "but we have a project due next period we haven't finished yet and I really need her help."

Charlie was quickly becoming annoyed with Farkle's constant interference, but he wasn't about to show that to her. Instead he smiled and nodded as if nothing was wrong before turning to Riley.

"Just let me know what you decide," he said before walking away.

"Let him know what? You aren't seriously thinking about going out with him again are you?"

Farkle had nothing against Charlie. He barely even knew the guy. If Riley were genuinely interested in him then Farkle wouldn't care, but he knew the truth about her feelings. It wasn't fair for her to keep leading the poor guy on and it was only going to hurt him more when he realized she didn't like him that way.

Riley just shrugged. Honestly she hadn't had a moment to really think about it, she'd been so overwhelmed by the offer itself. Charlie was a good guy and it was getting easier to be around him. Okay so he didn't give her butterflies, but he occasionally made her laugh and he was very nice to her. Besides he knew about her other interests and he didn't care. She could keep going out with him without having to lie. That was a massive benefit.

"I haven't decided yet." She replied honestly.

Farkle loved Riley but he had to agree with Maya. She was a lot of work.

"I don't think you know what you're doing."

He was right, she didn't. What had seemed like a moment of clarity in Texas, had only blurred and faded over time. Now she was so confused by everything that she didn't know what to do anymore. Part of her wanted to turn back, but it was too late now. She'd set them all down this path and they'd gone too far to turn around now.

"I know exactly what I'm doing Farkle," she lied.

"You honestly think this is fair to him Riley?" If he couldn't appeal to her own self-preservation maybe he could appeal to her people pleasing instincts.

"I do, Farkle. He knows about my feelings and he doesn't care. He wants to be with me anyway. He says that I'm worth it."

Farkle had prepared for literally every other argument she could have thrown at him except that one. He knew? And he was okay with that?

"What about Lucas?"

Riley's head whirled around suspiciously, making certain no one had heard the boy's words.

"What about him?" She refused to say his name for fear of being overheard.

"How is this fair to him? I know that you wanted to make Maya happy. I get that. But did you ever stop to think about how he might feel in all of this?"

He'd expected a reaction of some kind, but she still wore that same expression of determination.

"Of course I have. I love Maya, but I didn't just do this for her. I did it for all of us!" she whispered harshly.

Slowly her determination withered into sadness.

"Come on, Farkle. You're a genius. If the entire class can see it, I know that you can too."

Was this about those stupid yearbooks? Is that where all of this had originated from?

"I should have seen it sooner. The way they look at each other. The little game they play. The way she teases him."

Farkle was finally beginning to understand. She thought that this was what Lucas wanted too. He wasn't really sure how she could think that when he had done everything possible to show her otherwise, but Riley was a very insecure person in general. The entire class had told her he should want Maya instead, and she had believed them.

"Yes, I opened the door, but they walked through it willingly because it's what they both wanted. He likes her, Farkle. He wouldn't have kissed her if he didn't."

Had Maya never actually told her what happened that night?

"Riley, he didn't kiss her."

She knew Farkle was just trying to protect her, like always, but she had heard it with her own ears.

"Something happened in Texas!" she reminded him.

"No. Something almost happened in Texas," he corrected.

She shook her head violently. The last thing she wanted or needed was a reason to doubt her choice.

"That's not what Maya said in class that day."

"No, but it is what Lucas told me during the forgiveness project. Yes, something happened. They were talking or arguing and she got up in his face like she always does, and he almost kissed her…but they never actually kissed Riley."

He had to be mistaken. Maya had been so adamant about telling her that something happened, acting as though she'd betrayed her somehow. Of course, Maya felt guilty about even having those feelings for Lucas. Of course, she wouldn't act on them even with Riley's blessing and Lucas's consent.

"Riley, do you believe me when I say that I love both you and Maya?" he asked her.

She didn't even have to think about the answer.

"Of course I do Farkle. You've always done your best for both of us. You've never favored one of us over the other. Why would you even ask me that?"

Farkle considered his next words very carefully. He hated being everyone's secret keeper. Maybe he couldn't give them their answers, but it didn't mean he couldn't guide them to it.

"If I can love two different people the same way, don't you think it's possible to like two different people the same way?"

He let his words sink in before adding, "even if you are right, and he does like Maya, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like you."

That was the last Farkle said on the matter before hurrying to class.

Riley spent the rest of her day chewing on Farkle's words. Was it possible to like two people the same way? She wouldn't know. She had only ever liked one person. No matter how hard she had tried to change that, she couldn't. But she did believe that Farkle loved both her and Maya the same. She also believed that he liked Isadora Smackle in a way he had never liked either her or Maya. He was different with her somehow.

Farkle and Smackle seemed to have a healthy stable relationship. As healthy and stable as one could be in middle school. They weren't always teasing one another or up in each other's faces. They were calm. They talked about things only the two of them understood, and looked at each other with heart emoji's in their eyes. They wore matching sweaters. They weren't all fiery, but no one was telling them it was wrong for them to be together.

But there was a fire in Lucas. There was no denying that. She'd seen it in his defense of his friends, in his passionate speech, even in his flaring temper. Someone like Riley would only hold him back, wouldn't she? That was why he had gone with Maya that day in detention…because he missed the part of himself that he couldn't be with her. It was obvious why he would want Maya, but she had never understood why anyone like him would want someone like her.

But he had wanted her. She didn't understand it, but he did. He had promised her his moment would be his moment. He had placed her on a white horse like some kind of prince charming and called her his princess. He had asked her father's permission just to go on a date with her; only to forfeit their night and whatever plans he had made so that she could be there for her best friend. He'd called her his best friend and just last week had said that he likes her, not liked as in used to but got over it, but likes, as in still do. Was it possible that Farkle was right? Maybe Lucas did like both of them? And if so, what was she supposed to do with that?

It shouldn't matter if he liked her or not. She had already decided what she and Lucas were going to be and why. Him possibly having feelings for her or Maya or both, shouldn't affect that. If she wasn't going to be with him, which she wasn't, then why should it matter if he had feelings for someone else? Or if that someone was her best friend? If she had to watch someone else make Lucas happy and him make someone else happy, it might as well be Maya.

Maya leaned over in her desk and whispered, "Bay window, bay window right after school."

Riley spent the rest of the class wondering what Maya had bay windowed her about. Was it possible that she had realized the secret she had been carrying with her ever since that night? She hoped not. Peaches would be so angry with her for lying, and it would taint any relationship that she had built with Lucas so far.

Maya was too distracted by her own inner workings at the moment to notice Riley's fear or confusion. She had spent all day thinking about Farkle and the things he had told her. Finally once the day was done Maya grabbed Riley's arm and nearly yanked her all the way home. This was urgent.

"We need to talk," the blonde said ominously.


	48. Chapter 48- Window Talk

"We need to talk."

Riley winced at the words. Oh no! This was it. She had been dreading this moment and simultaneously praying it never came for months now. She closed her eyes and prepared for her best friend's wrath that was sure to follow. She could practically hear her now.

"How could you do this to me?"

"I can't believe you lied."

"What happened to sister's telling each other their secrets?"

She waited but Maya didn't say any of those things. Riley peeked at her through one eye. When she still said nothing Riley opened both.

"Don't look so surprised," the blonde girl said raising her eyebrows. "I told you we weren't done talking about this."

Riley's mind began racing. This wasn't about her or her secret? She felt relieved…but to her surprise she also felt disappointed. She didn't want Maya to learn the truth. She just didn't want to have to keep deceiving her best friend anymore. If this wasn't about her feelings for Lucas than what was it about? She'd said they weren't done talking about this?

"When one of us has a problem you fix it. That's who you are, and right now Farkle has a problem that needs fixing."

It all began coming back to her; the conversation in the kitchen the week before Christmas. Maya hadn't taken their crisis very seriously until Riley had mentioned Farkle's fears about losing all their money and how he thought his mom might leave if that happened. Her tone had instantly changed from mocking to overwhelming concern. Farkle was her bird, whatever that meant. He needed to be protected.

"You told me to wait and see what happened, well I waited, I've seen, and I don't like it!"

Riley didn't like that this was happening to Farkle and his family any more than Maya did, but for once in her life she wasn't springing into action. It wasn't like she hadn't thought about it, but for some reason she was holding back. She wasn't sure why, but this time felt different. This time things felt…out of her hands; beyond her control.

Before she had a chance to even form a response Lucas was climbing through her window, followed by a reluctant Zay.

Zay glanced at the window after he was in the room and shook his head.

"I still don't like it," he exclaimed.

Lucas turned to his friend slightly annoyed. "You'll get over it," he said before turning his gaze to the girls. "So what's the big emergency?"

"Maya wants me to fix Farkle," Riley stated flatly.

"Is Farkle broken?" Zay asked, wondering how much he had missed over the course of winter break.

"You didn't hear about his dad's company?" Maya responded. How could he not know? It was all over school, all over the news. Everyone in the world knew about it.

"Well, yeah, I heard about that, but Sparkles seemed fine when I talked to him today."

"Same with me," Lucas interjected. "He said it was his best Christmas in years."

She could understand the boy's reaction. After all, Farkle hadn't opened up to either of them about the way his parents were always at each other's throats or how afraid he had been that one day his mother would grow tired of the endless arguments and walk away completely. What she couldn't understand was Riley's lack of one.

"Come on Riles! You know better. You know what this means to Farkle. You can't really stand back and do nothing!"

"I know that you're worried about Farkle. We all are, but..." Riley struggled to find the right words. She wasn't even sure exactly what she was trying to say.

"I'm not sure what we can do. Sometimes things can't be fixed."

Lucas and Zay's eyes grew wide as they exchanged a shocked expression. Never, since either one of them had met Riley Mathews, had they heard her talk like this.

"You're the hopeful one. You don't believe that!" Maya shouted, her hand palm up in the brunette's direction.

"Bay window! Bay window, right now!" Lucas shouted. "That was loud. " he observed.

"Sure was, howdy. We're already at the window." Maya replied.

"Not you two, just you," he said pointing to Riley.

Lucas had just bay windowed Riley. This was definitely a first.

The brunette glanced around the room as if this must be some mistake and he was talking to someone behind her. Inside she was panicking, pleading with Maya and Zay not to leave her alone with him.

Maya had no intention of going anywhere. Riley was her best friend. The window was their spot. And Farkle still needed their help.

"You can't bay window her!" The blonde objected.

"If she can bay window every girl in our science class then I can bay window her."

"Dude's got a point!" Zay added pointing back toward his friend with his thumb.

Lucas met Maya's defiant gaze with equal resolution; his green eyes fixed on her baby blues for the first time since that night in Texas.

"I understand that this is your place, and your thing; Riley is your best friend. I understand and respect that, but right now I really need to talk to her and I need to do it here."

This space was special for Maya and Riley, but it was also special to him. Riley had trusted him enough to bring him here; to share it with him. This was where she all but admitted to talking about him, where they figured out their most important stuff...meaning he was important. It was where they gathered to care for one another. It was the one place she was most vulnerable and most open. If he was ever going to reach her, it would be here, in this window.

Maya glanced over at Riley, before throwing her hands up in frustration. "You've got ten minutes Hee haw. I suggest you make em' count."

Maya and Zay walked out of her room, leaving Riley alone with the one person she no longer trusted herself with. Every single time they were together like this she had said or done something to almost reveal herself. She couldn't keep letting that happen, but she didn't know how to stop either. The second their eyes met her walls would crumble around her.

"So…" she chewed on her lip as she lowered her gaze. Maybe if she didn't look at him and she kept her mouth shut she wouldn't say anything she shouldn't.

Lucas came and sat down next to her, placing his hands on his knees. Apparently he'd sat to close because she immediately began to squirm in the opposite direction. If she had been watching his face she would have seen the hurt written there. He waited for her to say something; anything, but she just sat there quietly with her eyes on her shoes.

Finally he broke the silence between them. He only had ten minutes, after all.

"I think that we should talk about what you said."

Riley's head snapped up. He had her undivided attention now. Surely, he wasn't going to do this here and now, with his girlfriend right downstairs. Lucas had never seemed like the kind of guy that would be so inconsiderate.

"You said some things are too broken to be fixed."

Oh thank God! That was the second miniature heart attack she'd had today.

He turned to face her, his eyes filled with concern.

"What made you say that?"

That didn't sound like the Riley he knew, and it worried him. The Riley he knew was always looking for a way to make the world and everyone in it better. If she saw darkness, she lit it up with her goodness. If she saw fear, she assured the worries away. If she saw anger, she calmed it with a gentle word and a smile. She placed a model Pluto in a time capsule because she always wanted to believe in things, because that's who she wanted to be; and here she was saying some things can't be fixed?

Honestly Riley wasn't sure what was going on with her anymore. It wasn't that she didn't care about Farkle's pain. Of course she did! She couldn't imagine how hard it must be for him to have the whole world know about his family's problems or how scared he must be of what might happen to his dad. She hated that he was going through this.

She shrugged, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know, Lucas. I really don't. I mean, you know me. Normally I would be the very first person to come up with some kind of plan or scheme to make this right, but for some reason this time I'm not. It's like I'm looking for reasons not to instead. I hate that Farkle is hurting and I want things to get better, but what could I possibly do? How am I supposed to undo federal charges or corporate espionage? I'm just one person! I'm just me! I can't actually fix anything!"

Her eyes were wild and hands flailing by the end of her response. She had just said things out loud she hadn't even realized she was thinking or feeling. For the first time in her entire life Riley Mathews felt hopeless. How and when had that happened?

Lucas sat there speechless as he came to the same conclusion Riley just had; a conclusion that terrified him. He wasn't just losing her. She was losing herself.

"Riley, if you were choosing not to act because you realize that sometimes we have to roll with the punches we're given," something he was usually pretty good at but currently struggling with himself, "then I'd say that's fine and it's just a sign that you're growing up. But if you're questioning your ability to influence this world for the better? That worries me."

She was avoiding his eyes again.

"Do you not know how powerful you are? How much you change things? How much you change people? Riley you're the glue that holds us together. Without you, Maya would never come back. Farkle would still be locked in the janitor's closet. I would have been kicked out of school by now, for sure. When Billy was picking on Farkle I wanted to beat him up, but you found a better way to get reach him; you didn't just change his behavior. You changed who he was and how he felt about things. You were the only girl that refused to drop a marble and because you didn't, I have a lab partner that actually stays awake now. Maybe you can't undo federal charges or corporate espionage, but that doesn't mean that you can't do something to help."

Riley's gaze slowly lifted. She had never thought of herself as powerful. Goofy, clumsy, awkward, sure; not powerful.

"That wasn't me, Lucas. You didn't beat up Billy because Maya stopped you when she jumped on your back. Farkle came out of the closet because we all were there for help him and Maya only came back to Rileytown to corrupt the other kids. None of that had anything to do with me. You all might think you need me, but you don't. None of you do."

Was that really how she saw herself?

"Yes, we do. All of us need you Riley. The world needs more of you."

'I need you,' he thought to himself.

"Why? Because I fix things? What happens if I can't? If that's all I'm good for, what happens to me then?"

Lucas was growing frustrated; more than that, he was growing angry. Not at her, but at whoever had put those ridiculous ideas in her head. Who had convinced her she was worth so little when she meant so much to so many?

"Then we still love you for trying; for doing what you can."

Her eyes finally met his, her gaze unwavering and curious.

"Why is this so important to you?"

Lucas considered his words carefully.

"Because you're really important to me."

He'd said it before, but it felt different this time.

Maya came charging in with Zay behind her.

"Ten minutes is up, now back to Farkle. What are we gonna do?"

Riley glanced between Maya and Lucas; taking in everything that had happened and been said.

"We're going to do what we do best. We are going to be there for him and let him know that he's not alone." She replied, making Lucas smile.

That was the Riley he knew!

Maya was not nearly as pleased.

"That's not enough!" The sassy blonde demanded.

"Sometimes it is. Sometimes it has to be. This is out of our control Maya. We can't stop it from happening. All we can do is be there through it."

The boys nodded in agreement, but that wasn't the answer Maya wanted. It wasn't so much about the money as it was what he believed that loss would cost him. It was a loss she was all too familiar with. Maybe what they were offering was good enough for her, but Farkle was special. He was supposed to rule the world or save it. He was going to do something amazing and important and he needed to keep seeing a world of infinite possibilities in order to become whoever he was supposed to be. If Riley wouldn't fix it, then she would have to find a way to. She wouldn't let him be broken too.

 **A/N: Okay so yes, I totally catfished you on the Maya, Riley convo (I'm horrible I know, and I'm sorry, but I promise you I have every intention of addressing those issues, please be patient with me. This story is a long game ;)**

 **To say that the show is ticking me off right now is a bit of an understatement. I'm seeing a lot of things that I'm not appreciating, so I plan to either address or fix those issues as well.**

 **Hope you enjoyed the read! I'm always happy to hear from you guys. Thank you for those who showed concern over my absence, it's always appreciated!**


	49. Chapter 49-Ladybug Wishes

**Had a lot of fun writing this one. hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you always for your love and support for this story.**

Farkle had spent the last several days working hard on his surprise for Isadora. He and Smackle hadn't been together very long when the Texas disaster had taken place. Ever since then he had been doing his best to guide his friends through these new and treacherous waters. Between this new responsibility and the concerns his family was now facing on both a financial and personal level, he had become somewhat negligent in his new role as a boyfriend. He was hoping this latest endeavor would make up for his absence and wandering focus.

She had been his arch nemesis; his greatest competition. Each time he lost to her it drove him to push himself farther; to learn more. She had challenged him intellectually always, but now he found she was challenging him in an all new arena, and apparently had no idea what an advantage she wielded.

Isadora was different from other people; not just because she was abnormally brilliant, but because she also had a syndrome known as Asperger's. If you asked her she would tell you that it was a weakness, a barrier between her and the world she lived in, but if you asked her boyfriend it was just a simple fact, no different from any other trait such as eye color or height. It was just one of the things that made her uniquely her; the girl who had truly claimed his heart.

He didn't know if what he was feeling was love...of the romantic variety. He wasn't brave enough to make that statement with so little exploration of the concept and no experience to help identify it. All he knew is that he had never felt like this before; not about Riley, not about Maya. Never before had a girl affected every molecule of his being this way.

He wasn't sure how it happened. Isadora had adored him for years and made no secret of her attraction to him, yet he had never seen her as anything more than his worthy adversary. Perhaps it was his undeniable loyalty to the first two women in his life that had prevented him from truly seeing her. He would never have strayed from the two of them had they not insisted he get to know Smackle. Now that he had he couldn't imagine what not knowing her would be like, and more importantly he didn't want to. She'd been so patient and understanding with him; always loving him no matter who or what he was. She deserved to be shown appreciation and regard of equal intensity.

He had spent hours trying to think of the perfect way to make everything up to her. He had considered the discovery center or a personal tour of NASA's New York City headquarters, but quickly decided against those. Ever since news of the scandal had broken he and his family had done their best to avoid unnecessary spending and public appearances. He could have gone with the usual gifts boyfriends gave their girlfriends such as flowers or chocolates but she was a special girl and she deserved something just as rare and wonderful as she was; something tailored to her interests.

After a little over a week of preparation the big day had finally arrived. He'd made all the necessary arrangements for an indoor picnic. The Minkus name didn't have quite the pull it had only a few short months prior, but a friend of his father's had pulled some strings so that he and Isadora could be alone in the Warm Temperate Pavilion of the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. All that was left was to load her gift into his bag and present it when the time came.

Isadora stepped into a private garden paradise. Though it was cold and bitter outside, the room before them was filled with beautiful and fragrant flowers of multiple variety. She dropped Farkle's hand long enough to step forward and admire the scenery before turning back to her boyfriend with a smile. He gestured over to the area that held the lunch and refreshments that had been prepared for them where they both took a seat.

Smackle knew all about social conventions. She didn't necessarily understand them, but she was aware of their existence and significance. Farkle had done all of this just to please her; the garden, the privacy, the meal. It was all for her. This was definitely what would be described as a date. She, Isadora Smackle, was currently on a date with one, Farkle Minkus. The thought brought another smile to her lips.

"Are you enjoying yourself," Farkle asked nervously. "You haven't said much."

She contemplated her repertoire of responses before deciding blunt honesty would probably be best.

"I don't know what to say…and I don't want to say something wrong." She admitted shamefully.

Farkle reached out to place his hand over hers, instantly feeling that warmth that spread through his body turning his insides into puddled goo.

"You can say whatever you want, as long as it's honest it won't be wrong." He assured her with a smile.

"Honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed, in the best possible way." She glanced around the room taking in all its beauty, unaware that to him, she was the most beautiful aspect of the view.

"No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Even I understand the degree of romanticism this evening has exuded. It's lovely. Thank you."

"There's something else too."

Her brown eyes grew wide and her jaw slacked.

"There's more?!"

Part of her was enjoying Farkle's lavish affections on her behalf. The other part of her was completely terrified. What if she didn't understand the significance of his gesture? What if she misread the moment or didn't respond appropriately? She knew that Farkle would never judge her for the things that she did not know or understand, but she still feared disappointing him in some way.

Farkle reached for his bag and pulled out a delicately wrapped box. After his third clumsy attempt to wrap it himself, his mother had gladly offered some assistance. He may be a genius but he was still a boy, after all.

"I wanted to do something special for you; to give you something that you deserve," he said sweetly as he handed her the gift he had spent so much time and effort carefully crafting. Had he done this for any other girl in the world she wouldn't have wanted it. Maya would have rejected the gift completely. Riley would have politely thanked him, but he knew Isadora would love what was waiting for her underneath the decorative cover.

"Farkle, I'm afraid I don't understand. What exactly is it you think I've done to deserve this," she asked as she took the box in her hands; uncertain of what it held inside. "Although I'm not quite sure what it is you've given me."

She wanted so badly to respond the correct way to this magnanimous gesture from her boyfriend. It was obvious that whatever lay inside that box Farkle had gone through a lot of trouble and it was very important to him that she like the gift he had chosen. Although her appreciation may not come off as it should she hoped he would understand that she was genuinely grateful.

"Because you have been so patient and understanding with me over the last few months, especially New Year's eve. You've not only been an amazing girlfriend to me, but you've accepted my friendships and the demands they sometimes require. I know to you that probably doesn't seem like anything extraordinary, but having your support and consideration through all of this; it's meant more to me than I can say."

"I do appreciate your sentiment, but I must admit I feel a bit unworthy of all this praise. I've done nothing to deserve all of this. I am only part of your life and your circle because of you and your friends; because of your acceptance of me. How could I not accept you and them the same?"

Smackle looked down at the token of appreciation in her hands. She'd received gifts for special occasions before but never just because. Was she supposed to open it here in front of him or wait until she was in the privacy of her own room? She had no idea what the proper etiquette for gifts between romantic partners mandated. Farkle nodded reassuringly, encouraging her to unveil the present there in the moment.

She gently pulled the corner of the wrapping paper apart and began to carefully remove the box from its trimmings. As her eyes raked over the gift Farkle had chosen she did not have to grope for a response; it was immediate and effortless.

"Farkle," she exclaimed as she lifted ornately decorated insect collection, "I'm speechless." She declared.

She glanced over each specimen in the box, fifteen in all.

"Is that a bombus pennsylvanicus?" she asked in disbelief.

"The great pollinator," Farkle nodded, pleased with her response.

"It's a shame how their populations have dwindled." She stated before glancing over to the next insect in the frame.

"The atteva punctella, artica caja, pandinus imperator, pyrrhartica Isabella, proyops intricate," she began rattling off the names of each specimen.

"Farkle these are all my favorite insects," she glanced over at him curiously, wondering how he could have done this and whether it was right to assume that this was an incredibly thoughtful and romantic gesture.

He smiled, happy that she had noticed the theme of this collection. "I'm aware of that. That's exactly why I chose them."

"You even included a coccinellidae septempunctata," she said as she ran a finger over the image of the ordinary ladybug in its case.

"How did you know I favored that one?" It wasn't something that she had publicized over the years since her logic behind doing so was completely illogical. It was the only preference she had that wasn't dictated by science or reason.

"Whenever we're out and you see them you just…treat them differently; like they're special."

Isadora hadn't even realized she'd shown any favoritism toward that particular insect, but somehow she had and Farkle had noticed it. She didn't know exactly what that meant, but for some reason she felt that it was important.

"Thank you Farkle. I'm not sure those words do your gift justice, but I hope you know how much I mean them."

He just smiled and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

"I'm glad you like it. I hoped you would."

She turned to meet his gaze.

"How could I not?"

Isadora seemed to comprehend exactly how rare she was, but what she couldn't seem to wrap her brilliant mind around was how that was a good thing; how that was what made her the girl that he adored. Not many girls would have liked his gift, not many would have been satisfied with so little when his family's money had provided him the ability to give so much.

She sensed a change in his demeanor.

"Farkle…is something wrong? I know that you're physically next to me but it seems as if your mind is somewhere else?" she ventured, hoping she had interpreted him correctly.

He lifted his gaze, returning from wherever he had previously been.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I wanted to show you that I can focus on us and here I am thinking about my dad's company instead." He replied rather dismally.

"I may not always know the right thing to say to make it hurt less, but I'm happy to listen, if you think that might help?" she offered.

So far Farkle hadn't spoken to anyone other than his parents about the scandal. He hadn't even really discussed it with them. Sure, they had went over the facts and procedures, but he'd managed to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself.

"Thank you Isadora. Honestly I don't know how to feel about it, any of it. Of course I'm worried about the inevitable repercussions on the company and our investment portfolio, I'm concerned about my dad and how he's going to handle all of this once it really sets in, but in a weird way I'm also grateful because even though this scandal is tearing our world apart…somehow it's brought my family back together. I just don't want us to go back to the way we were before once things with the company stabilize."

She had no idea how she was supposed to respond to that very personal confession. Empathy was not one of her many talents and she feared that she might stumble over herself if she tried to place herself in Farkle's shoes.

"Would you like to know why I favor the coccinellidae septempunctata,' she asked sheepishly.

He had offered up something intimate about himself. She felt it was only fair that she do the same.

"It's a silly reason, there's no logic behind it at all," she elaborated hoping he would understand exactly what it was she was offering up to him.

"I'd love to learn something new about you, but only if you want to tell me."

Obviously he did understand her gesture and he was giving her an escape route.

"My mother once told me that ladybugs bring luck. Of course, as a scientist I believe in statistics and odds, but it seems to be something sentimental between my mother and I; that's why I treat them as if they were special. Because to me they are."

She glanced up at him anxiously, afraid that he wouldn't understand or accept this bizarre part of herself that she didn't understand but instead to her surprise, he reached for her hand and smiled.

"Then they're special to me too. Thank you for sharing your reason with me."

Farkle was walking on air the entire way home. Not only had Isadora loved his gift, but she had given him one far greater in return; she had trusted him with something precious to her; her secret love of ladybugs. That was a gift he would treasure always. He marveled at how, even in the face of disaster, his life seemed to be perfectly falling into place.

Jennifer and Stuart were waiting there when he returned home. He looked so elated and peaceful they both hated to taint what had clearly been such a wonderful day, but unfortunately they had no choice. The investigation was finally complete and the results were in. Stuart Minkus would be facing federal charges in a court of law.


	50. Chapter 50-A Handful of People

Maya stormed out of the Mathews apartment without so much as a goodbye. She wasn't sure why Riley had decided to give up her "savior" mentality just when Farkle needed them most, and she wasn't okay with it. She'd thought once Riley knew about the trial she would stop being so passive, but she'd just said the same thing as before.

Maybe it was Huckleberry's influence? She should have never left the two of them alone in that window. Why had she given in to his request so easily and what had he wanted he wanted to talk to her about? She hated constantly wondering what he was thinking. She hated that she even cared. Why did she care?

She liked Lucas. It was the only answer that made any sense. It would explain all those weird moments between the two of them over the last few months. It would explain why she had been so afraid of losing him when he had decided to ride Tombstone. It would certainly explain the moment at the campfire...and the way she felt happy and sad whenever Lucas and Riley had displayed feelings for one another throughout those months.

She didn't have to ask how Lucas felt about Riley. He had made that more than obvious by now. What she didn't understand was how Riley could confuse brotherly feelings for romantic ones for so long. What she didn't understand was how a huckleberry like Lucas could still like Riley and almost kiss her, unless he had feelings for her too...and if so how long had he had them and what did they mean?

How could Farkle possibly think that Riley was in love or like with Lucas? She had chosen Charlie over Lucas now, not once but twice; first when she'd danced with him at semi-formal and again when she agreed to go out with him. She had told him to his face he was her brother and had done everything to distance herself from him so as not to make it harder on him. She had rejected Lucas over and over again, and yet Farkle still believed Riley liked him. By his standards, both she and Riley must be in love with Farkle. She refused to even consider that possibility.

She was worried about Farkle though, especially now that his father was facing jail time. It seemed no matter which way this situation ended up playing out Farkle would lose a parent. She couldn't let that happen to him. Half was okay for someone like her, but he was used to having everything; and unlike most, he actually deserved it. He believed in her, believed she could do anything she wanted. Right now what she wanted most was to protect him.

She picked up her phone and dialed a number from her contacts. A male voice came on the line after two rings.

"Can you meet me at Topanga's? We need to talk."

She was sitting on the sofa at the bakery waiting with a smoothie in hand. Usually she would be swiveling her straw in the frozen treat, but today she was viciously jabbing the small fruit pieces with her straw, a stone like expression on her face.

"You're not gonna pour that on me, are you?" Shawn asked as he came up from behind startling her.

"Geeze, has everyone heard about that?" She asked somewhat annoyed.

He chuckled at her question. "Well kid, you dumped a smoothie over a guy's head in a public place where your mother works and then told your best friend about it, who happens to be the daughter of my best friend, so yeah probably." He explained as he took the seat next to her.

"So you wanna tell me what this little meeting is all about?"

She sat the smoothie down on the table and turned to him, her expression returning from annoyed to serious. This was clearly a no nonsense conversation.

"You and Mathews; you were kings?"

Shawn wasn't sure where she was headed with this yet.

"We were legends." He said, doing his best to match her tone.

"Good! Cause since you're my new partner in crime you're going to help me."

He looked down at his locked fingers. What was it about these teenage girls he found so intimidating now that he was a grown man?

"What exactly am I supposed to be helping you with?"

"There's this boy-"

"Oh no!" He exclaimed interrupting her.

"He's a friend-" she tried to explain.

Shawn nodded, "that's a little better."

He still felt completely in over his head. 'Please don't ask about feelings or sex' he thought to himself.

"His name is Farkle-" she continued elaborating.

Suddenly Shawn felt all the tension lift from his shoulders.

"Minkus's kid? Okay, I'm totally not worried anymore. How can I help?"

Farkle was a nice squeaky little mouse. This was not going to be a birds and bees conversation; thank god!

"His dad's company is in trouble and he might end up going to jail over it. Even if he manages to avoid jail, Farkle is worried his mom will leave."

Shawn felt very in over his head again. These were really big problems; the kind that couldn't really be helped but this was also Maya. She had a hard enough time believing in good things without him telling her sometimes life just sucks.

"What do you want to do about it?" He asked curiously.

"I want to stop it." She said without a moment's hesitation.

"I see, and how do you intend to do that?" He was stalling and he knew it.

"That's where you come in," she said gesturing toward him with her palm facing upward. "I break things, Riley fixes them, but Riley won't fix this, so I'm asking you."

He was honored that she thought so highly of him and trusted him so much, but he wasn't sure how much help he would be. Shawn and Cory were kings, but Cor was the one that did all the "fixing" as she put it. He was always pulling Shawn back to his side of the line.

"Why won't the strange bird fix Minkus 2.0's problem?" There was no way that kid wasn't s clone. Just look at him.

She huffed in frustration at the memory of her best friend's reply. "Because sometimes we can't stop bad things from happening all we can do is be there." She recited with air quotations.

He didn't want to come out and tell her that Riley was right, that would be the same thing as telling her she was wrong. Maybe there was another way to get her to come to that conclusion on her own? What would Feeny or Cory say?

"But you don't believe that?" He questioned, hoping he could figure out the right direction to steer this exchange.

"No! And neither does Riley! She can fix everything. She always does. Her whole family is like that."

He could see why Maya would feel that way. Cory and Topanga were easily the best people he knew. They were always getting involved in other people's problems; making everything around them better. He had no doubt that Riley was exactly the same.

"Did you know that Topanga's parents got divorced when she was just a few years older than you?"

He wasn't sure this is what Feeny or Cory would do but it was the only idea he had at present.

She shook her head. "I didn't know that. Riley never told me."

"Cory and Topanga were engaged at the time and when she found out about her parents it really shook her up. She even called off the wedding and broke up with him."

Mister and misses Mathews had broken up again? That was the second one she had heard of within the last year. They were a walking talking fairytale. How could they break up?

"So Cor went to see her parents; to get them back together, cause that's what Topanga wanted." He went on.

"Why are you telling me this?" Maya asked him, confusion in her eyes.

"You're worried about Farkle because you don't want him to lose his mom or dad like you did, am I right?"

Of course Shawn understood.

"You know what that's like...would you wish that on someone you care about?"

He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, let alone one of his friends.

"No, I wouldn't, but do you think if Riley had gone to your dad and told him to stay that he would have?"

Riley could do anything. She could believe in things that weren't real. She could turn bullies into friends. She could bring Maya back from the edge and make her feel safe...but could she have made someone stay that didn't want to be there?

"Probably not," she admitted sadly.

Shawn scooted closer and wrapped his arm around the girl sitting next to him.

"I know how it feels to be left behind. My mom left me and my dad when I was about your age and then my dad left me to go look for my mom. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt; sometimes it still does, but I'm okay. Because I've got Cory and Topanga, John Turner and Mr. Feeny, and the Mathews family. I wish you didn't know what that feels like Maya, but I don't worry about you and I wouldn't worry about Farkle either. No matter what happens you've always got the small handful of people that really care about you enough to stay. They're the only people that matter."

She looked up at him, holding back tears.

They sat like that for a little while before Maya said anything again.

"So, about that kiss on Christmas..." Her words hung in the air as Shawn chuckles nervously. "You like my mom, don't you?"

Shawn had spent a lot of time thinking about that kiss and the woman it was with. Has he known it would be so amazing he would have done it sooner. He'd like to do it again, but that wasn't what Katie wanted. She had made her wishes very clear and he was determined to respect that. She deserved to have her feelings taken into consideration and he would do nothing that could jeopardize his relationship with either her or Maya.

"It's a little more complicated than that."

Maya smiled wider.

"That's exactly what she said when I asked her if she likes you."

He cocked his head, a mixture of intrigued and amused. "Really? She said that?"

If Katie had no interest in him why didn't she just tell Maya that? She'd never actually said she didn't like him. She had said she thought things would be better that way...easier.

"Yeah, she did."

Maybe they were both making it more complicated than it actually was? There was no denying his interest in her at this point. There was one complication to consider though.

"I'm actually really glad you called me. There's something that I want to talk to you about too."

'This doesn't sound good,' she thought.

"I just got my latest assignment and it looks like I'm gonna have to go out of town for a few weeks."

She nodded with a false smile, already beginning to assume the worst.

"But I'm coming back Maya. No matter how many times they send me away, I am always gonna come back."

"Why?" She asked, an angry edge to her voice. Why did he have to keep leaving and why did he care whether or not she believed he would return.

"Because I'm one of those people in that handful we talked about Maya."

He was one of those people that would be there for her no matter what happened?

She smiled brightly. "Thanks for that."

He squeezed her tighter. "Anytime kid."

"You should talk to mom before you go. She deserves to hear it from you."

Until that moment Shawn hadn't thought to tell her. He hadn't thought she would care.

The first time Shawn had asked Katie out Maya had wanted it for her. This time she wanted it for all of them.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" He asked.

Maya thought for a moment, "no, you go ahead. I'll be fine." She said as she picked up her smoothie from the table.

"You sure? Cause I can-"

"I'm sure. I'm just gonna hang out here a little while; finish my drink."

Once she was alone she began to think about what Shawn had said. Topanga's parents were still divorced. Her dad was still gone. Farkle's dad might be going to jail. Shawn was leaving again. And there was nothing she could do to change any of it.

She sat there swiveling and jabbing at her drink once again when a familiar voice called her name from behind.


	51. Chapter 51-Things Unsaid

**Don't be distracted by the smoke and mirrors. I told you in the summary exactly where I plan to go. Remember everything I do has a purpose ;)**

"Maya?" The voice called from behind.

Of course he would be here right now! She had a hard enough time being around him on a good day, ever since Texas, but this wasn't a good day and she was not in the mood to sit in bizarre silence and stare at the blank space ahead.

Lucas saw her from across the room talking with Shawn. He didn't know what the conversation was about but it was clearly intense and she hadn't looked very happy when he'd left. She hadn't looked happy the last time he had seen her either. When she hadn't returned his greeting he pressed further.

"Maya, are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

She wouldn't even look up at him.

"No," she mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He inquired.

This time her response was not quiet and contemplative. It was loud and clear as she shifted in her seat to look back at him.

"No!" She insisted.

Lucas glanced down at the smoothie in her hand. The last time he'd tried to have a real conversation with her she had dumped one on his head, but he couldn't just leave her there to sit alone when she was visibly upset. Deciding it was worth the risk, he walked around to the front of the couch and sat down next to her, resting his arms on his legs.

They sat in their usual silence as she glanced over at him, appearing rather annoyed.

"You're not going away, are you?"

Lucas just smirked. "No."

She huffed as she flipped her back deeper into the couch, running an aggravated hand through her long blonde hair. Another few moments of expectant silence passed before she leaned back up to face him.

"Why are you here?" She demanded.

He shrugged, "because I like it here and they have the best fruit smoothie in town."

"That's not what I meant why are you here? Next to me?"

"You seemed upset and I didn't want you to be alone." He said as if it were obvious.

This was as close to their old selves as they had been in months. The last time they had played tit for tat he had wound up dangerously close to a line he wasn't sure he had wanted to cross. Was that why that hadn't played since, for fear of history repeating itself?

"What's it to you, Huckleberry? Why do you care if I sit here all alone or not, if I'm upset or not? Why does it matter to you?"

She wasn't sure why she was lashing out at Lucas. It wasn't his fault that these horrible things were happening or that there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. It wasn't even his fault how he felt or how she felt. He hadn't forced her like him. He hadn't even asked her to. Maybe being angry was the only way she could get past hi with him.

He looked at her with surprise, hurt in his eyes. How could she even ask that question? Didn't she know how much she meant to him? She didn't know. He had never told her...just like he had never told Riley.

"Because you matter to me. I know things have been a little weird between us lately-"

"A little," she snorted.

"Okay, a lot, like really weird, but no matter what's going on with us, whatever we turn out to be, I'm still your friend and I still care about you."

He had no idea what was happening between them or why. He didn't know why he had almost kissed her or whether or not they were dating. All he knew is that she was important to him. He cared about her. He wanted good things for her. The last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her.

Maya sat there in disbelief. He had told Riley over and over again how much he liked her, how important she was to him, how he couldn't have survived New York or ridden the bull, but he had never actually said anything like that to her or about her. She studied his expression, those green eyes begging her to believe him.

"You really mean that, don't you?" Her expression softened, the blue flames dancing her eyes slowly simmering into a glow.

"Yeah, I do. I thought you already knew that."

She should know that. Hadn't he made her his secretary of class to show her he trusted her? Hadn't he assured her of her talent and fought for her right to keep learning? Hadn't he told the entire class that he wanted Maya to be happy with her sitting right there watching him?

He'd always heard that actions spoke louder than words, but neither Riley nor Maya seemed to understand their significance in his life without without hearing the words.

She glanced down feeling guilty for hurting him. She didn't like doing that. Teasing him, sure, but not actually causing him pain.

"I always kind of thought we were friends because of Riley." She admitted regretfully.

She had always looked at him in relation to Riley. He was Riley's crush, Riley's unofficial boyfriend. She had never bothered to ask herself what he was to her. She thought all he saw when he looked at her was Riley's best friend, that he accepted her because of Riley.

She'd never really given him a reason to like her for herself. She acted like she didn't even know his name. She got up in face, which he had never come out and said he hated, but when she had asked him if he wanted to run from her ha-hurr he had wanted to, he'd just been more worried about how that would make him look. She made fun of everything about him even when he begged her to be nice...and yet he cared about her.

Lucas didn't know what to say.

"Why would you think that?" He finally asked.

"I don't know. Why would you like me when I'm not even nice to you?"

He didn't really have an answer for that one. She hadn't ever really gone out of her way to be likable. Maybe that was why? Because she was herself and that's who he accepted her as. Even though she had strange ways of showing it he had always believed that she cared about him too.

"Because I like you for who you are Maya. I wouldn't want you to be anyone but yourself."

Hadn't he made that clear by now? He hadn't wanted Maya as Riley or Farkle or anyone else. Just like he hadn't wanted Riley as Morotia or Maya. He liked each of them for exactly who they were and they accepted him the same way.

"You've never actually said that before."

All this time she had been wishing for a better idea of what he thought or felt about her, but his answer only left her with more questions.

"I guess we've never really talked about it..."

They hadn't talked about a lot of things.

"Talking isn't really our thing lately." She said with a sad smile.

She'd had this realization once before, in Riley's bay window. They weren't good at talking. They were good with teasing. They were good with actions, but they weren't good at talking. This was probably the first time she had ever really listened with the intent of hearing him, instead of being busy coming up with her next response or a way to torture him with whatever he'd just said.

"But you and Riles, you guys talk all the time right?"

She wasn't sure why she kept comparing them. Maya liked Lucas, Riley didn't. Even when she thought she had, deep down he had always been her brother, hadn't he? Isn't that why they had been able to talk so well?

"Well, yeah…at least we used to."

They used to spend hours talking about anything; Texas, Cuddle Bunnies, the color purple. It hadn't mattered what the subject was. They'd just enjoyed one another's company. She was finally acknowledging his presence again, but it still wasn't the same as before. For some reason when she had decided that she didn't like him that way anymore, she had also decided that they couldn't be alone together or have a real conversation anymore either. They'd had exactly three real conversations together and he'd had to corner her in one way or another for each of them to happen. He thought again about his conversations, wondering if they were somehow a betrayal to the girl sitting next to him.

"Hey Maya...this might sound like a weird question but...um...are we dating…like exclusively?"

She wasn't sure if they were or not. She wasn't sure if he wanted to be or not. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be or not. She ran her hand through her hair a second time.

"I have no idea what we're doing Huckleberry."

He nodded solemnly. "That makes two of us...we should probably figure that out, huh?

She smirked slightly, "probably..."

The sooner they figured out what they were, the sooner things would stop being weird in the group. They were the crack in the foundation that she could see.

"Can we really call it an exclusive relationship if neither of us knows what it is?" he asked, genuinely curious.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the question. "Probably not."

"Hey Lucas," he seemed shocked to hear his actual name come off her lips, "whatever else we are or aren't, I'm glad you're my friend."

He smiled; genuine and warm. "Me too."

She picked up her smoothie again and watched the fear in Lucas's eyes. She had no intention of making him walk out of there wearing it this time, but it was still fun to sit back and watch him squirm. Apparently they had used up their word quotas for the day because now that the anger and accusations had subsided the conversation had lulled into their familiar uncomfortable silence.

"If you're feeling better, I think I'm gonna head out," he said as he gestured to the door. It was driving him crazy to just sit there quietly with nothing to say. The only thing that was worse was sitting there with so much to say to someone and not being able to actually get the words out of your mouth. He'd been doing a lot of both lately.

"That's fine. I'm just gonna finish this and be on my way."

He smiles and begins to rise from the couch.

"Thanks for staying with me."

Very rarely does she say something nice to him, but it's moments like this that make all the teasing and ha-hurring worth it.

"No problem," he says with a wave before exiting the bakery.

Maya's mind begins to wander again; only this time she's not thinking about all the horrible things that are happening in this world to her and her friends. She is thinking about the handful of people she really cares about. Riley is a given. Farkle is too….but somehow Lucas has become one of those people. She can't imagine her life without any of them. She thinks about the handful of people who truly care about her, and realizes one again, Lucas is among the list of names. She isn't sure what it means yet, but she has a feeling that she just stumbled upon something important.


	52. Chapter 52-Before I Go

Shawn stood outside in the hallway of Maya and Katie's apartment. He had spent the entire walk from the bakery to there working up the nerve to address their current situation but now that he was standing there he felt like a teenage boy helplessly giggling at the contents of a purse again. If he opened his mouth to say hi he feared it would come out I want to have your children instead. Was he really going to take relationship advice from a thirteen year old girl who was currently embroiled in the most cliché teenage melodrama known to man?

It appeared that he was. He didn't know how Katie felt about him at the moment. She might not even care that he was leaving, but he had seen the look on Maya's face when he had told her. There was a devastating mixture of fear and sadness in those piercing blue eyes she'd inherited from her mother. If there was any chance that Katie would feel the same way about his departure then he had been right to come: to silence those fears and temper that sadness.

"Alright Hunter, you can do this. Just knock on the door and say what you came here to say."

There was just one problem with that plan. He'd been so busy pumping himself up for the conversation that he hadn't given any thought to what he was going to say. He didn't want to go into this discussion stumbling all over himself, but he didn't want to stand out there too long for fear he might talk himself into leaving with everything still unsaid, and if he stood there too long without saying anything he might come off as a stalker.

He took a shaky breath and rapped his knuckles against the door.

Katie glanced through the peephole before opening the door. She glanced down and smiled to herself when she realized who was standing her hallway. She hadn't seen Shawn Hunter in a month but she had relived that kiss almost every single night as she was lying in bed. Had he been thinking about her too, she wondered.

She opened the door and greeted him with bright eyes and a big smile.

"Shawn, hi."

Standing there he realized he could have prepared an entire speech and it wouldn't have made a difference. The second he saw her all the words would have fled from his mind, just as they were doing now.

"Hi," he smiled back nervously.

Why was he here?

"Uh, Maya's not here right now," she said, as a strand of bangs fell into her eyes when she tilted her head.

"Yeah, no, I know. I just saw her at the bakery." He said pointing behind him.

She nodded in understanding. "Okay...so then what are you doing here Shawn?"

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he had misread the situation. Now that he was standing here he was having second thoughts. It had been a really long time since he had come to a woman with his heart in his hands and it hadn't worked out for him so well the last time.

He thought again to the contents in the time capsule and the way he had felt when he saw them again. The end had been heartbreaking but the relationship itself had been beautiful. Loving someone that actually loved you back was the greatest feeling a person could aspire to. He wanted that again. He didn't know if he and Katie could have that or not, but if there was even a chance, he had to take it.

"Actually...I came to see you." He said.

"Oh."

Katie didn't know what else to say. The last thing she had expected was for him to show up here, wanting to talk to her. She couldn't blame him for not coming around or messaging after what happened at Christmas. By that point she had already done everything in her power to push him away. Yet here he was standing in her doorway, here to see her.

"Yeah, I'm going out of town," there was that look again; the same one Maya had when he told her, "and I didn't want to go without telling you first."

Katie's stomach turned over when he had said that he was leaving. Kermit hadn't even bothered to give her that much. He'd simply gone on the world's longest milk run known to man. Even though she knew he was nothing like her ex-husband, every time she heard those words she couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever see that person again, and if she was being honest she wanted to see him again.

"W-why would you want to tell me that you're going?" She asked a bit flustered.

"Cards on the table?" He asked as he exhaled slowly, needing a moment to gather his courage. This was going to be the most difficult confession he'd made in years.

"I see the look Maya gets every time I tell her I'm leaving, like she's afraid I'm not going to come back. That's from her father...and how he hurt her. But he hurt you too. I want you to know when I go because I want you to believe me when I say I'm coming back...because I don't ever want to hurt her or you the way he did."

Katie's heart skipped a beat at his words. It had been so long since anyone had taken her feelings into consideration, even longer since someone had seen through her defenses. She pretended to be over what happened, as if she had walked away without a scratch, but Shawn knew better.

"Look I know that you've said that you think we should just be friends, and the last thing I want is to push you into something you don't want or disrespect your wishes, so if that's really what you want just tell me and we can pretend this conversation never happened."

When Katie said nothing he continued to speak.

"But here's the thing, something happened. After Angela left me, I gave up on relationships. I didn't date. I didn't invest. I just bounced around doing my job and kept to myself because I didn't want to get hurt again. And then one day, Christmas actually, I came for a visit and this amazing young girl called me out for mistreating her friend...which made me want to be a better friend. And I found myself investing in her because she made me care about things that I hadn't in a long time. And then I met that girl's mom; a woman who is devoted to her daughter in every way and a little on the sassy side, and so much more beautiful than she realizes. And knowing her made me want to be a better man. That girl and her mother; they changed my life, and somewhere between meeting them and standing at this door I realized that I don't want to give up. I wanna try, Katie. I want us to try."

Katie wanted to say yes, but she couldn't find the word. In fact, she couldn't find any words. He had rendered her completely speechless. She knew exactly how he felt. She had resigned herself to the realization that it would always be just her and Maya long ago. But here was this man who cared about Maya, who cared about her, who wanted to try. If any man on the planet was worth the risk she had come to the conclusion it was Shawn Hunter.

Finally she found her voice.

"Shawn-" she began but he cut her off before she could say anything more.

"You don't have to answer right now. I know that there are no guarantees and I understand why you're so cautious. I thought I did before, but I didn't then. I really get it now. I just...I just want you to think about it...about what I said...and about how it felt when we kissed. Because if there's a chance you felt how I did in that moment, then I think we could really be something together."

If she hadn't been certain before she definitely was now. Where did men like him come from? She had never met someone so considerate of other people's feelings, so respectful of their hopes, dreams or concerns. He was leaving the ball entirely in her court and offering her time to decide.

She opened the door wider with a smile, "would you like to come in," she invited.

"I would, but I should probably go."

"Because you don't want to pressure me?" She asked coyly.

He nodded with a smile, "that and the fact I still need to pack."

They both chuckled; either at his response or out of sheer nerves.

"Did Maya put you up to this," she asked suspiciously.

"She may have mentioned something, but I wouldn't have come if I didn't want to. I just...didn't want to leave without letting you know I feel...and now you know."

She smiled brightly at his response.

"Now I know. You know, Maya really wants this to happen, between us," she replied.

He chuckled again. The young girl had obviously been pushing both of them toward this conversation. There was nothing that girl couldn't do when she put her mind to it.

"Oh believe me I know, but I don't want it to, unless it's what all three of us wants."

She pursed her lips sideways, as if contemplating his words.

"So when do you head out," she asked.

"Tomorrow. The sooner I go, the sooner I get back." For the first time he was really looking forward to his return.

Before he had a moment to comprehend what was happening she stepped out of her apartment and pulled him for a gentle kiss, her hand grasping his jacket to pull him closer. As she pulled back she smiled devilishly.

"Uh, wow! What was that for?"

She shrugged casually.

"Just something for you to think about while you're gone."

She hadn't planned on kissing him, but she didn't regret it either. They said their goodbyes and parted ways. She leaned back against the closed door, still feeling their kiss linger on her lips.

Shawn turned to exit the building, a large grin on his face.

"Looks like you still got it Hunter."

He couldn't wait to get back home and hopefully repeat that experience.


	53. Chapter 53-The Problem with Assumptions

"You're not seriously getting rid of this," Zay asks as he lifts the extremely high tech game system from the box it was sitting in.

Farkle just nodded.

"Everything that isn't a necessity goes," he stated resolutely.

The other boy just shook his head. "You and I clearly have different ideas about what a person needs. I need this game system." He said with a little whine in his voice.

"I'd give it to you, but we are selling anything we can to prepare for the corporation's losses and dad's legal fees." Farkle explained.

"I'll never let go jack...I'll never let go," he teased emphatically as he sadly placed the game system back in the box.

Lucas just rolled his eyes. He loved Zay like a brother, but sometimes he wished the boy could appreciate the gravity of a situation.

Farkle; the guy who had his own train, his own arcade, his own solar system was packing up his most expensive belongings to sell for money. It was a stark reminder how quickly one's situation could change. One minute you could be on top of the world or the richest guy on the planet, and the next you could be brother zoned or broke. That was how life really worked.

The young Minkus had yet to speak a word on the subject. He talked about his situation the way he talked about science or algebra, as if it were nothing more than fact. It wasn't like before with the forgiveness project. He wasn't deliberately hiding his feelings. He just didn't know understand his feelings and he wasn't sure what they said about him as a person.

His family was going through something terrible, yet in a strange way he was grateful. He had told his father that he didn't care if they lived this way, that they should give more of their money away, yet he was upset about having to sell everything he owned and move into a smaller apartment. Did that make him vain? Selfish? Greedy? He hoped those weren't characteristics he possessed.

Zay lifts a framed pencil drawing of a night sky on yellow paper. "Which box you want me to put this in?"

Lucas and Farkle both glanced over at the item in question. The latter boy just smiled. "That's a necessity."

Zay looks at the drawing then back at Farkle. It's a nice picture and all but it's no state of the art game system.

"Is that Maya's picture?" Lucas asks curiously. He remembered Farkle saying he had been carrying it in his back pocket where his phone had been but no one knew what had happened to it after that. Apparently his friend had framed it and put it on display.

"The one and the same," the boy responded.

"Wait this sounds like a good Maya story," Zay wanted to understand the significance of the picture in his hands.

"It's not much of a story. For an assignment Mr. Mathews took our phones away and sent us to the library to connect with one another without the use of technology. It was the night Maya discovered her talent."

"It was also Lucas and Riley's first real conversation." Farkle said the words Lucas was thinking. It had been a special night for him too, and he couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"Wait, so Maya draws this picture and Quarkle here kept it all this time?"

"Looks that way," Lucas said with a shrug as he continued to sort through one of his best friend's belongings.

Zay whistled low and long. "He even framed it. Man, you better figure yourself out and make a move before both your girls get stolen from you. First Gardner, now Farkle? Dude, you're in tragic shape." He said with a chuckle.

Lucas glanced over at the boy incredulously.

"I heard all about you and the blonde beauty getting nice and cozy at the bakery."

Farkle's head shot up at lightning speed. Had there been new development between Maya and Lucas? Part of him hoped not...the part that didn't want to see Riley hurting but if they liked each other and they were happy together then the other part was happy for both of them.

"It was hardly cozy!" He defended wondering how many times people had talked about him and Maya like this before; how many times Riley had heard their skewed perception and said nothing.

"Well how would you describe it," Farkle interjected.

Lucas threw his hands up confounded. "I don't know. She was upset. I tried to help. We sat on a couch. We argued. We talked. It got weird again and I left."

"But she didn't give you another smoothie shower. That's progress," Zay pointed out.

He was grateful for that. It was bad enough he was constantly having to buy new shoes every time he got caught in Riley's room. He really hadn't wanted to have to buy a new shirt every time he saw Maya. Not that he had to worry about his shoes anymore...He'd gladly sacrifice another shoe just to have her look at him the way she used to.

"Man you already kissed her, just date the girl already."

Lucas slammed the box in his hands down harder than he meant to. "Why does everyone keep assuming I kissed her?!"

Zay's jaw dropped as the light bulb above his head illuminated.

"You mean you didn't? But Maya said something happened."

"I know what she said. I was there too." He insisted as his jaw clenched in frustration.

"So she lied?" Zay asked, officially not understanding anything anymore.

Farkle saw Lucas struggling to keep his composure and decided to jump in and assist.

"Maya didn't lie. She just perceives the events of that night differently than Lucas. If you ask her there was a moment between them and something happened. If you had actually asked Lucas he'd have been the first to tell you there was a moment and something almost happened, but didn't."

"That something being a kiss?" Zay clarified.

"Yes."

"And that's why he's confused?" He ventured further.

"Yeah..." Lucas admitted begrudgingly.

"Well ya did almost kiss her. That suggests you like her," he reasoned, trying to help his friend.

"But he couldn't actually go through with it, which suggests something else," Farkle countered.

"And you did look like a cartoon wolf with your eyes popping out your head when she walked out in her Texas get up," Zay reminded him.

"True, but I've seen him literally look like a human heart eyes emoji before. It wasn't the same look." Farkle stated.

Zay glanced over at the genius. He'd never seen his friend look like that.

"When was this?"

"His first date with Riley. I wasn't sure he'd even be able to speak but then he turned out to be the smoothest date talker ever."

That was only their first date. The second hadn't gone nearly as well. He'd sat there like a mute idiot, unable to speak. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to or that he wasn't comfortable talking with Riley. He knew he could tell her anything and she would listen. His mind had just gone blank in the moment.

"No, Gardner is the smoothest date talker ever. He got her to go out with him, be his girlfriend, and kiss him in just a couple months," he mumbled dejectedly, just loud enough to hear.

So that's why he had left the party early!

"Whoa! Little miss sugar cube swapped spit with soufflé! How have I not heard this story?!"

"Because it didn't happen," Farkle replied.

Both Lucas and Zay stared at him stunned.

"What?!" They both cried out in shock.

"Riley left the party before the New Year even started." He explained.

"She left the party she was throwing? I don't like it! Impolite!" Zay exclaimed.

Lucas liked it a lot. Riley had left before Charlie could kiss her. That made him happy, like bounce up and down, shout from the rooftops happy. Why had she left though? Was she not as interested in Charlie Gardner as he believed?

"Wait, so are they still together?" Zay asked curiously.

Farkle shrugged "I have no idea. Maybe Riley was right and it was easier to understand one another when we just saw each other as friends."

Another breadcrumb he'd dropped hoping Lucas would pick on it.

His brain began racing over the last few months.

'Farkle stop thinking. You don't know what's going on!'

That was right before she had dragged him outside with her hand over his mouth the night of her and Charlie's first date.

And then he had drug her outside the bakery the day he'd found out about Charlie being her date to the party.

'Do you think you're being fair to him?'

Slowly a question began forming in his mind.

...was it possible Farkle knew something the rest of them didn't about Charlie and Riley's relationship, and if so what was it?

Riley sat on the park bench nervously twiddling her fingers as she waited. She had done her best to choose a secluded location, where there would be no curious bystanders or gossiping classmates but that was nearly impossible in a city this size. Finally after much deliberation she had decided on a small park she often passed on the way home. There were usually only parents and small children there so they should have their fair amount of privacy.

She had been thinking about Charlie ever since New Year's Eve and his offer shortly after. The brunette chewed on her lip as she contemplated what she planned to say once he arrived. This was a big step for her, and hopefully, if she did it just right, it would change things for the better. She just hoped she felt as good about the choice she had made once it was complete.

She saw him approaching in the distance.

'You can do this Riley. It's now or never.' She told herself.

He stood before with a smile. Despite her disappearance on New Year's and her feelings for someone else, he still wanted her. There was something about the feeling of being wanted, even if it wasn't by the person you wanted to want you.

"Hey," he greeted with a small awkward wave.

"Hi," she smiled at him as she always did; with false sincerity and politeness.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Clearly he was just as nervous as she was for this meeting.

"I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised when you called me this morning," he said, though she didn't understand why.

"Why wouldn't I call you Charlie? You asked me out on a date and I never got the chance to answer your question."

He shrugged with another sheepish grin. "So...what's the verdict? Will you go out with me again and give me the chance to show you that I can make you happy?"

One chance was all he needed. The more time they spent together the sooner he could erase Friar from her mind.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at him with that smile. That meant he was making her nervous. That was a good sign.

"You seem like a really great guy. You're obviously cute. You seem really romantic; I mean flowers, banners, Yogi on skates...you always seem to be thinking about my feelings and taking them into consideration. You pay attention to me. You notice me. And everything you say makes sense. You really do seem perfect for me."

His smile had widened at the start of her speech but by the end it had fallen again.

"Then why does it sound like you're saying no?"

Apparently he was smart too.

She nodded, the corners of her mouth raising slightly.

"I was going to say yes. Based on everything I have seen and everything you've said to me...I was going to say yes."

Confusion colored his expression. For the first time she really made eye contact with him. She was finally truly connecting with Charlie. She wanted him to hear what she was about to say. She was eerily calm.

"You know a lot of people confuse innocent and pure for naive and stupid. They think that because I choose to see the good in people that I can't see anything else. They act like I can't hear and I don't see...and to their credit I don't at first because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt...but I think about things. I like to figure things out...and one of the things I figured out is that you're not what you seem."

He opened his mouth to object, but she raised her hand and kept going. She would not stand there and listen to him lie to her.

"You told Lucas that I didn't want to be his partner. You said that it was because you could see how uncomfortable he was making me when I wasn't interested in him. You said you were trying to be a good friend...but then on New Year's you said you've known I like him the whole time. You didn't tell him because I was uncomfortable. You told him because you weren't comfortable. And then when you basically invited yourself to our party you made it sound like we left Lucas out on purpose. I thought that was an accident, but it wasn't was it?"

"Riley I-"

Again she raised her hand and continued, unwilling to hear his excuses.

"You were staking your claim like I'm some kind of territory!"

As the words fell from her mouth an epiphany struck her. Her head tilted in curiosity.

"What did you say to him at that party?"

"What? Did he tell you I said something?"

She shook her head in response.

"No, he didn't have to. I just find it funny that Lucas and you said the exact same thing about what you do at midnight being what you do all year long within ten minutes of one another. I knew those words sounded familiar."

"That's common knowledge."

"I kept wondering how his words were coming out of your mouth...unless they were your words first."

She shook her head in disappointment. She didn't even need him to confirm it. The way he'd reacted told her he was guilty.

"I don't know why you did this. I don't know if you just really like me or you just don't like losing to Lucas...but I have no interest in seeing you again romantically. Goodbye Charlie."

Some of the tension automatically lifted from her as she walked away. Somehow she felt a little lighter than she had when she come there an hour ago.


	54. Chapter 54-Epiphany

Monday morning Riley woke with her alarm. She sang in the shower and twirled around her room as she prepared for school. Maya wasn't coming to meet her so there was no one to pretend for this morning; no need for forced smiles or polite conversations, and most importantly there was one less lie she had to keep going. Her world was still complicated and she was still trapped in a life where she had to pretend not to see or hear the things going on around her, but freeing herself from Charlie had been the best choice she'd made in weeks.

Topanga was happy to see her daughter so light hearted this morning. She had been carrying around so many repressed feelings ever since she had returned from Texas. She didn't know what had caused this change in mood or if she should ask, but either way she was grateful. It was nice to see Riley's real smile again.

Maya was already standing at her locker when her best friend approached.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully.

"Morning, sure. Good? We'll see," the blonde retorted.

Riley had just opened her locker when they guys came up to them.

"Good morning," she chirped, and for the first time in a long time she truly felt like it was one.

Lucas's mind had been reeling ever since Saturday, ever since he had learned that Riley and Charlie hadn't kissed on New Year's Eve. He knew he probably shouldn't care. Just because she hadn't kissed Gardner didn't mean she would suddenly like him again. Still, Charlie wasn't worthy of her heart and if he didn't have it yet, Lucas would sleep a little sounder in that knowledge.

There was something different about her today. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something had changed. It wasn't her hair or her clothes. It was something deeper...something uniquely Riley. Whatever it was, it definitely looked good on her.

Farkle glanced over at the girls. Maya seemed annoyed and half awake, as she always did first thing in the morning. Riley...was smiling. Really smiling. Something had definitely happened he just didn't know what.

"What's up with little miss sunshine this morning?"

Leave it to Zay to ask the question everyone else was thinking.

"I don't know what you mean," Riley replied as she pulled books from her locker.

"No, he's right. There's something different about you this morning," Farkle observed.

Maya glanced over at the brunette, but she didn't see what all the fuss was about. Riley was always chipper and smiling. There was nothing strange or different about that. Everything else looked exactly the same.

"We'd better get to class." Riley said as she closed her locker door and walked past everyone, including Lucas who could smell her hair as she walked by.

Maya was glad she and Lucas had agreed they weren't exclusive, otherwise she would have just watched her exclusive boyfriend steal glances at her best friend, who wasn't even interested in him. Why couldn't he look at her like that? Was Riley so much more lovable than she was? Not that Lucas loved her; he liked her, sure, but love? They're all far too young to feel that.

The moment his daughter stepped into his classroom Cory knew something had changed. For the first time in months she looked happy...or at least happier than she had been. He searched Lucas's face but found no trace of nerves or glee, if anything he looked distracted. He looked down at Maya for any hint of a shift in their situation, but again there's no trace there either. He turned his gaze to Farkle, but he just shrugged. Whatever has happened seems to have affected Riley alone. He's not sure how she should feel about whatever this is just yet.

Lucas spent the first half hour thinking about the scent of honey and the taste of vanilla lip gloss. He spent the second half thinking about the weekend passed and things said and done over the last few months. There was something nagging at him, but it refused to reveal itself. The mystery thought taunted and teased him the entire time, but remained just out of his reach.

Finally the bell rang, snapping him out of his trance.

"See ya hambone!" Farkle exclaimed as he hurried out the door and disappeared into the hall.

"Is it just me or was the kinda weird?" Lucas asked.

"No, it was weird alright," Maya confirmed.

"He ran outta here like his britches were on fire," Zay adds, causing all three friends to turn and give him a strange look.

"What? He did!" The boy defended.

The group began to head out the door, but just after they had split off in directions down the hall Riley felt someone touching her arm. Before she had a moment to register what happened she was pulled into the janitor's closet.

"What just happened?" She asked in confusion.

"I needed to talk to you alone," Farkle explained.

"So you pulled me into the closet?"

He ignored the question, deciding he'd rather get to the point.

"What's going on with you? Something is different. You're smiling!"

Why did he keep saying that?

"I always smile Farkle."

"But it's your real smile this time, and don't tell me you don't have a fake one because we both know that's not true. I can see you, remember?"

Of course she remembered. They were the only ones in class that had been able to that day.

"I don't know why today is different. Maya still likes Lucas. Lucas still likes Maya. Nothing has changed." She began to insist though as she said the words her head tilted in that way it always did when she was realizing something.

That wasn't entirely true. Something had changed.

"What is it Riley?"

"Well, one thing did change over the weekend." She noted.

"What's that?" He asked.

"I officially ended things with Charlie. I met him in a park and told him that I didn't want to go out with him anymore."

She'd said a lot of other things that day too, but none of it was worth mentioning.

Farkle smiled in relief. Finally something was starting go right.

"I'm glad that you did. I know it's been really hard for you. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you when Maya told you how she felt about Lucas, but dating a guy you don't really like didn't seem to be helping you feel better. It just seemed to make things worse."

He wondered if he should tell her what he'd said to Maya on New Year's Eve. He'd thought that once Maya knew the truth she would be more considerate of Riley's feelings on the matter, but she hadn't believed him. Things were strained enough between all of them as it was. She had told Lucas and he had told Maya, and still nothing had changed. It didn't make any sense. Even if Maya and Lucas did like one another, which he wasn't sure they did, and wanted to be together, again he wasn't so sure that was the case, at the very least they should have acknowledged Riley's lie and the sacrifices she had made to bring them together. Wasn't that the true test of friendship, how they treated one another?

"So a little birdie told me that Riley was spotted at the park Saturday with Charlie Garder" Lucas overheard Darby whisper to her boyfriend Yogi in the lunch line.

That was just great! No wonder she had been in such a good mood all morning. Apparently it was the Gardner effect. Even without the kiss at the party he had somehow managed to make them official.

Lucas sat down at the table across from Riley. When he glanced up at her she smiled at him warmly, and he couldn't help but smile back. At least she was happy. Now he just needed to figure out his situation with Maya so they could both be happy too.

Zay plopped down between Farkle and Lucas.

"So...anyone do anything fun this weekend?"

He hated the silence.

"Nope," Maya said popping her p.

"Not really," Riley stated. She had enjoyed getting those things off her chest but she wasn't certain "fun" was the right word to describe it.

"The park wasn't fun?" Lucas found himself muttering. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Both girls instantly glanced at him with suspicious expressions.

"Why? What happened at the park?" Maya asked.

"Riley broke up with Charlie," Farkle blurted out before Riley had a chance to spin the situation or deflect the question.

"What?!" Zay, Lucas, and Maya shouted simultaneously.

"Farkle!" Riley exclaimed, none too pleased with his decision.

"Ah...so the soufflé finally deflated," Zay said with his usually cheeky grin.

"Why? What happened?" Maya asked, both confused and concerned for her friend.

All eyes were on Riley waiting for a response. She put down her fork and tucked her hair back with a shrug.

"Nothing...happened, exactly. We just...wanted different things." And people, she added mentally.

"What does that even mean?" Maya implored, genuinely curious.

Lucas was curious too.

"We would go out with one another and not have anything to say, and no matter how much time we spent together it always felt awkward. Maybe he was just nervous but for me...it was just awkward. I don't know if that makes any sense."

"But you liked him so much? You were always smiling and happy around him."

Maya didn't get it and Riley wasn't about to tell her the whole truth right here in front of everyone.

"I thought I did, but I think I just wanted to like him because I knew he liked me."

And because she was trying to stop having feelings for Lucas, but only Farkle knew that.

Riley had never liked Charlie. Lucas sat there with his wheels spinning. Riley had never wanted to be with Charlie...and Farkle had known it.

Lucas wasn't the only one whose gears were internally grinding. Riley's brain had been chewing on something Farkle had said to her earlier that day in the janitor's closet.

"Bay window! Bay window right now," the brunette declared suddenly.

The boys all looked at each other wondering what had just happened and whether or not she meant Maya or all of them.

"Riles we're at school. There is no bay window here." Maya explained.

Riley nodded and thought a moment.

"Then janitor's closet! Janitor's closet right now," she said grabbing the blonde by the wrist and yanking her out of her chair, leaving the boys at the table alone.

"Man! What's a guy gotta do to get some closet time?" Zay exclaimed as he began to poke his potatoes while Lucas and Farkle stared at him puzzled.

"What? First Farkle, now Maya? Has she pulled you in there yet?" He asked the green eyed boy next to him, clearly feeling a little left out.

Lucas glanced over at Farkle, who was now deliberately avoiding eye contact.

"Seriously Riles, this couldn't wait til we get home?" Maya asked as she took back her wrist.

"It will only take a second. I just want you to read my mind real quick." She explained.

"Right here? Right now?"

The brunette nodded.

"Right here. Right now. Ready?"

Maya rolled her eyes. This didn't seem like an emergency to her but whatever. If it was important to Riley she'd play along.

"One, Two, Three."

"Homework."

"Sparkles!"

They shouted two completely different words simultaneously before turning to face one another in shock. That had never happened before.


	55. Chapter 55-The Simplest Form

Riley and Maya looked at one another with wide eyes. Maya had guessed wrong? It had to be some kind of mistake. They were the best friends on the entire planet. Even Shawn and Cory couldn't do what they did and they were legendary.

"We'll try again," Riley suggested, clearly flustered by what had just taken place.

"Are you ready?"

Maya just nodded, afraid to speak.

"One, two, three."

"Coffee."

"Sunshine."

It happened again. This was starting to get a little scary.

"Maybe we should try it the other way around? Me read yours?" Riley offered.

"One, two, three."

"Sleep"

"Lucas."

They looked at one another again, but this time it wasn't just shock or even fear. They were taking one another in, as if they were looking at a stranger; because in a sense that's exactly what they were doing. They couldn't read each other anymore? Maya had thought Riley was thinking about sparkles and sunshine, but she hadn't been. Riley thought Maya had been thinking about Lucas, but that wasn't true either. Both girls had been wrong. They stared at one another in silence wondering how and when this had happened, and more importantly what did it mean for their friendship.

They heard the bell signifying that lunch had ended.

"Guess we should get to class," Maya mumbled.

"Guess so," Riley agreed.

Neither knew what else to say.

All through English class neither girl said a word or acknowledged the boys in any way. Both were completely lost in their own thoughts; trying to decipher how long their sacred bond had been broken and whether or not it could ever be fixed.

Maya pondered over the events in the closet. Mathews had said not too long ago that a relationship was only as strong as its foundation. She had thought he was referring to the mess between her and Lucas at the time, now she wasn't so sure. Were there cracks between her and Riley that she hadn't seen? The guys had kept saying Riley looked different today and Maya hadn't seen it, but she had figured that was just the difference between guys and girls. What if it wasn't though? What if it was more than that? What if they could see something that she couldn't? No, that was ridiculous. Maya read Riley's mind all the time...didn't she?

Not even a foot away Riley was embroiled in a similar turmoil. She had been the one to pose the question, but never in a million years had she expected the answer she had received. Maya and she had been inseparable since they were six years old. It was why Farkle had never been able to choose, because he couldn't think of one without the other coming to mind. He'd said himself, it went against scientific foundations for them to be apart. Even Lucas had said it was possible the two of them were too close. Had she been so concerned with finding a way to keep Lucas in her life that she hadn't noticed she and Maya were somehow losing one another? And worse, was it her fault? Would they still be in sync if she had never lied?

Farkle was dying to know what had happened in that janitor's closet. Hopefully telling the truth about Charlie had made her realize it was time to be honest about everything. Maya hadn't believed it coming from him, but surely she would believe the words from Riley herself. She would probably be angry with Riley for lying. She might even be upset with him for keeping her secret as long as he had, but at least whatever happened from that point they could all face it together. That's what friends were supposed to do.

Lucas had some questions of his own. After their conversation the previous weekend and Zay's uncensored commentary at the lunch table he was convinced more than ever that there was something going on between Riley and Farkle, and from the looks of things, it had been going on for a while.

He scribbled something onto a piece of paper and handed it to Farkle when Harper's back was turned. The brown haired boy unfolded the note and read its contents carefully.

You knew she didn't really like Charlie, didn't you?

Farkle sighed as he wrote down his response and waited for the right moment to pass it over.

I knew everything...

What did that mean, everything? How much was everything? Had Riley been keeping secrets from all of them?

He quickly penned a reply and sent it back to his friend.

What do you mean everything? Did she know she didn't like him when she agreed to go out with him? Why would she do that?

Why would anyone go out with someone they didn't actually like...or at least think they might like?

Farkle's next question was barely legible he'd written it so fast.

She said she told you!

She said she told him? She'd never said anything to him about Charlie, other than asking what a first date meant in boy language. She'd certainly never implied that she wasn't actually interested in the guy.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

'I told him, okay. It slipped out.'

Either Riley had lied to him or Lucas didn't realize the meaning of what she had said.

She said she told you on New Year's.

He and Riley had talked on New Year's but she hadn't actually said anything. All they had done was talk in circles around the issue.

Well she didn't...what was she supposed to tell me?

Farkle had already told Maya. Was telling Lucas really any different?

I'm sorry, I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that you already have all the information you need to figure this out. It's a Rubix cube. Just keep shifting angles til it comes together!

If Lucas could stop looking at this situation through the scope of his feelings and analyze this situation as Riley's friend, he had all the pieces he needed to put this puzzle together. He simply had to trust his judgment.

Even in art class Maya couldn't concentrate. How was she supposed to express her feelings on the canvass when couldn't even figure out what she was feeling? Miss Kossal came up behind her and examined her attempt.

"Very...mysterious, Maya. It's almost as if you resent the clouds for blocking out the sunlight."

Maya glanced at her picture of the sunshine and the clouds. She had been thinking of that moment in the closet; the moment she realized that maybe she didn't know her best friend as well as she thought anymore.

Her gaze shifted to Riley, who for the first time all year, did not have purple paint up to her elbows. Somewhere along the way Riles had begun changing and somehow Maya hadn't seen it until this morning.

"Maybe I do," she mumbled.

Miss Kossal steeled herself as she prepared to examine Riley's piece next. She realized that she was a teacher and it was her job to encourage all her students, but it was difficult to give Maya's talent and Riley's enthusiasm the same merit, when they were two completely different things. It was also difficult to take Riley seriously when she had never taken herself or her own art seriously.

She stepped behind the girl in question, preparing herself for yet another purple cat. Much to her amazement Riley hadn't painted one.

"This is...certainly different, Riley. I'm curious what inspired this?"

The brunette looked at her poor imitation of an eclipse, certain Maya would have been able to do it better justice.

She shrugged as she continued to shade in the space between the sun and the moon.

"I'm not sure. I just felt different today. It didn't feel right to keep doing the same thing when I don't feel the same."

It wasn't a masterpiece, but it wasn't a purple cat either.

The woman placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder with a smile. Riley was finally using art for what it was intended; to express herself. That was all she had ever wanted from her as a student or an artist. It was easy to present yourself as happy all the time. It was a lot more difficult to be vulnerable.

"It's very nice, Riley. I'm proud of you."

Riley glanced up at her art teacher confused.

"Because I painted something other than a cat?"

Miss Kossal smiled. "No, because today you put your heart on the canvass. It takes a brave person to do that."

Today she was brave? She looked back at her painting. This eclipse was her heart on paper? She didn't even know what it meant. All she knew was that she didn't know anything anymore. How could Ms. Kossal think that she was brave when she had never been more terrified than she was right now?

Finally the bell rang and it was time for their last class of the day. Riley was dreading it because it was one of the few classes she shared with Charlie. She had been so distracted earlier she hadn't even noticed if he was present for English but he sat beside her in Algebra, so if he was there he would be a lot harder to miss. The idea of facing him again felt strange and a little scary. She had shown a side of herself to him that no one else has ever seen. It had felt wonderful at the time, to finally be completely honest with someone, to have somewhere to place those feelings, but now the moment had passed. It felt strange that someone who had no place in her life had such an intimate view of her inner self and she wasn't sure what to do with that yet.

Riley walked into the room and there was Charlie in the desk right next to hers. She instantly glanced down at the floor, suddenly afraid and not sure why. This boy who meant nothing to her held all her secrets in the palm of his hand to do with what he wanted. He could go running to Maya or Lucas or announce them to the entire class if he wanted. He'd proven that he wasn't above such tactics. What would she do if it came to that?

Maya plopped down in her usual desk on the other side of Riley and looked up at the board.

Solve ax2 + bx + c = 0

"Oh great! I'm in the wrong class again. Apparently I'm back in English." The blonde exclaimed.

"No, this is Algebra Ms. Hart." Ms. McCrary corrected.

She raised her hand to gesture toward the board. "Math is numbers. You've got half the alphabet up there. That's English."

The woman just chuckled at her pupil's response.

"Actually those are variables." Farkle interjected.

The blonde just huffed in frustration.

"They look an awful lot like letters to me," she replied.

"Each variable represents a number." Ms. McCrary explained.

"Teacher say what now?" Maya asked as her brows knit in confusion.

"Variables are mystery numbers Maya. The answer to the equation changes based on what number you substitute for the letters. Only when you've found the right numbers does the equation make sense and you come to the right answer." Riley said as she turned to face her friend.

"That sounds complicated. Look at that thing there are more letters than numbers. How are we ever going to solve that?!"

"By taking the problem one step at a time and working backwards." Farkle stated simply.

"That's exactly right! No matter how complicated a problem may appear, as long as you take it one step at a time and work backwards you can return to the simplest form of the equation." Ms. McCrary elaborated as she proceeded to work the through the problem with her students step by step until the solution was found.


	56. Chapter 56-Working Backwards

Maya had never given algebra much thought. Originally she'd never given any of her school subjects any thought. She had only started to show interest in art because she had discovered it was something she had a talent for and it made her feel better about herself to be considered good at something. She had only begun paying attention to history because of Mr. Mathews and the way he related the lessons to their lives. Only after Riley had refused to drop the marble and encouraged her to believe in at least the possibility of becoming a scientist had she stopped sleeping through that class. Now as she sat there in algebra class she couldn't help but notice that her life mirrored her mathematic ability in that she often miscalculated.

She had assumed her father was a decent guy when he was really just a dead beat dad who didn't care enough to leave a forwarding address. She'd blamed her mother for his absence when he had actually left her behind feeling just as broken and unwanted as he had Maya. She'd assumed that Lucas was only her friend because of the fact they had mutual friends, when in fact he had grown to care about her as a person. Those were just a few of the many examples she could name.

She glanced over at her best friend who was busily working through the equations. Sometimes she forgot how smart Riley actually was. Farkle was a genius and they shared the same number of A's. At least they had until Farkle got his first B this year. She might even be the class's highest ranking student at the moment.

She felt her heart break as she watched Riley, so unaware of the world around her, remembering what had transpired in the closet. She had thought her best friend would be thinking of sparkles and sunshine because that was the Riley she had always known, but instead the brunette beside her had been thinking about homework and coffee…and Maya hadn't known. Just like she hadn't known that Riley didn't really have romantic feelings for Charlie Gardner. An unsettling fear suddenly ran through her body like a cold chill. Maya hadn't known Riley's true feelings for Charlie…but Farkle had.

'I'm not jealous of Charlie. I'm just…concerned for Riley.'

'I'm just saying he's wanted her a lot longer than she's wanted him.'

'And that worries you?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because I want Riley to be happy.'

But she wasn't happy with Charlie. She had laughed and smiled and never let on that she was anything less than thrilled with the situation. Obviously something had been off though because Farkle had noticed. He'd even pointed it out to her and she still hadn't seen it. Another terrifying fear crept through her entire being. If Farkle was right about Charlie…what else had he been right about?

'Riley is gone. She left about half an hour ago.'

'Riley wouldn't do that.'

'She did.'

'Why would she do that?'

'My guess is she didn't want to see you and Lucas together at midnight.'

'Why would Riley care? They're brother and sister, remember?'

'No, Maya. They aren't!'

No. It wasn't possible! Maybe she couldn't read Riley's mind anymore but surely if she had looked her in the eyes and lied to her she would have known…wouldn't she? Of course she would have. The question was moot anyway because Riley Mathews wouldn't lie to anyone about anything. She didn't believe in it.

…except when she told Farkle he was a good actor.

…and when she had snuck out of her house with Maya to hunt down Josh.

…and when she had told Charlie that she couldn't go to the dance because she was helping her parents.

Except when she believed she was helping someone she cared about.

'How can he be the hero if he's lying to everybody?'

'Because he's doing it for all the right reasons Farkle. He's just trying to do what's best for everyone involved.'

Okay, so maybe Riley did occasionally stretch the truth just a tad, but she and Maya hadn't always been so disconnected. After all Maya had known that something was going on with Riley when she was being bullied….but that was only after Riley had jammed an ice cream cone in her face. Farkle had been the one to actually put the pieces together and he'd had far less clues than Maya at the time. He hadn't heard her going on about wanting to be invisible and how people shouldn't make fun of other people. She had trusted her best friend to hear what she wasn't saying, and she hadn't.

This accusation wasn't like the bully situation though. Riley had been slowly drifting away from Lucas for months before she finally realized how she felt about him. They had chosen not to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Why would they do that if they liked each other so much? And then she had accepted another date to the dance, technically it was an accident, but the fact that she had even considered it spoke volumes to her true feelings for Lucas not being romantic; as did the fact that she chose to dance with Charlie instead of him. Finally in Texas she couldn't deny it anymore and came out and actually said the words "I love you as a brother."

…except that wasn't actually what she had said.

Her real words had been "I love you and now I know how," but she had just finished telling him that they were brother and sister now, so surely that's what she meant…wasn't it?

Her mother had warned her when she pretended to be Riley that she might end up learning something about her best friend that even she didn't know yet, and she had.

"We're like two sunshiney people from the same sunshiney tree."

"It's like you're my brother."

Of course her mother had also said that if you were too close to a person that it was impossible to see them clearly, but that wasn't the case with her and Riley. Maya had completely gotten inside her soul. She'd been so convincing she'd even managed to make Lucas melt and do his little greeting thing with her. The whole class agreed that she was a great Riley; the perfect substitute. In fact she'd done such a great job they had suggested she keep impersonating Riley forever.

She hadn't been too close to read Riley properly...had she?

She hated this! If there was one thing in this world Maya could always rely on it was the bond she shared with Riles. Now she found herself questioning everything that had seemed so certain the day before. She had been so sure that Farkle had to be wrong: that there was no way he could possibly know Riley better than she did. Yet he had known about the bully and Charlie when she hadn't had a clue.

It made sense that he would figure out the bully first. He had personal experience to draw from, but that didn't explain how he could have known her true feelings about Charlie. Even Riley hadn't known that about herself yet. If she was being honest what did that really mean though? Both Riley and Farkle had realized how Maya felt about Lucas before she had. If he could read her so easily then who's to say that he couldn't read Riley the same way?

No.

Riley wouldn't lie.

Just like Riley wouldn't leave?

Because she had.

Just like Riley would always fix everything?

Riley Mathews, the eternal optimist, had said some things couldn't be fixed. It was only after her ten minutes with Huckleberry that she had agreed to do anything at all.

Even if Riley would lie, Maya would know.

Only Maya didn't seem to know nearly as much about Riley as she thought she did lately.

The more she thought about it, the more her head hurt. She groaned internally. Why did everything have to be so incredibly complicated now?

'Feelings are complicated sweetheart. There's more than one way to like someone. There's even more than one way to love someone. And even if you manage to like or love one another the same way sometimes that still isn't enough.'

Thinking about Shawn and her mom didn't exactly give her hope at the moment. All they had proven is that apparently this feelings thing never gets any easier. She remembered watching them stand all stiff and awkward, barely able to speak around one another. She remembered thinking at the time that they were acting just like Riley and Lucas used to. At the time she assumed that was why her mom wasn't willing to go out with Shawn, because she saw him the way Riley saw Lucas; as a brother. That was another major miscalculation.

'Why are they acting so weird all of a sudden?'

'Your mom makes him nervous.'

'When adults haven't really liked someone for a long time sometimes we revert back to junior high and forget how to interact with the opposite sex.'

They had actually been acting that way because they liked each other. They were just afraid too afraid to go for it, but with a little nudge in the right direction they finally seemed to be taking a step forward…just like she had done with Riley and Lucas.

Farkle and Ms. McCrary had both said that any problem could be solved if you took it one step at a time and worked backwards. So if she applied that concept to their current situation how would that work exactly? She'd need to think of a problem first. The problem was that she was no longer sure if she knew her best friend anymore. She didn't know who she liked, or how she felt, what she thought, or if she was even telling the truth anymore.

Okay, so…one step at a time, what would the first step be? Who? She and Riley, that's who. What? They were changing and as result so had their friendship. When? That was the question with all the answers. If she could figure out when they had started drifting apart then the timing would help her figure out why it had happened. Okay so the step was figuring out when. Now how was she supposed to do this? Oh, right, she was working backwards. So she just needed to go through the last few months and figure out when things started changing.

Well today, for the first time ever, she couldn't read Riley's mind. There was also that thing the guys were supposedly noticing that she couldn't see. She glanced to her right again, hoping she would magically see whatever they had this morning, but she couldn't. Riley still looked the same to her.

When was the last time before that she felt something was off?

'But you and Riles, you guys talk all the time right?'

'Well, yeah…at least we used to.'

Now that she really thought about it, she couldn't remember the last time she had actually seen Riley and Lucas say more than a few sentences to one another. Riley had said that she always wanted to be able to talk to him. He liked her stories and she liked his. That was her favorite thing about him, she loved to talk to him while Maya loved to tease him. So why would she stop? Maybe it was because she felt uncomfortable knowing he still liked her when she realized she didn't like him? Or maybe Farkle was right, and she didn't know how to be around him without acting like she still liked him? It could be either one really, depending on who knew Riley best at the time. Just because she couldn't read her now didn't necessarily mean that she couldn't have read her back then.

If Farkle was right about Lucas, it would explain how he knew about Charlie.

Why would Riley go out with the guy if she still liked Lucas though?

'Riley, something happened between me and Lucas!'

She had made that little announcement right before Riley had said yes.

Then why would she tell Lucas that he was her brother? Maya had never told her about her revelation as Riley. She'd come to it on her own.

'I know you think I like him as a brother.'

She'd said that right after she had realized that Maya liked him.

'You were me. How did you feel when you were me? I like Lucas, don't I?'

Riley had already known the answer to that question when she'd asked it. She hadn't asked because she was confused. She was giving Maya the chance to come clean with her about what she had learned.

In the last few months Riley had told the guy she liked that she didn't like him anymore. She had started dating a guy she didn't actually have feelings for. She had defended Cyrano for lying to make his friends happy. She had said some things couldn't be fixed…and she had felt the need to drag her best friend in a janitor's closet to test their connection because she knew something wasn't right between them. Riley had asked the question. She wouldn't have done it, unless she had a reason to believe it needed testing.


	57. Chapter 57-Out of Sync Frequencies

The moment the bell rang Maya sought Riley's gaze, who was busy avoiding Charlie's. Finally, she lifted her head and those big brown eyes met with clear blue ones.

"Bay window?" She asked timidly, though she didn't have to read Riley's mind to know that was probably what needed to happen next.

Riley just smiled sadly and nodded in agreement. The events in the closet had left them both visibly shaken and since they could no longer read one another, they would have to resort to actually talking about things. The brunette knew this was dangerous territory, given what she had been hiding from her best friend, but it was the only way she knew to possibly get through this. And they needed to get through this.

The core four remained seated as everyone else began packing up their things and filing out the door.

Lucas and Farkle both eyed the girls, sensing that something between them was very wrong.

"What's going on guys?" Lucas asked cautiously, but it was Riley he was watching for a reaction.

Maya shifted sideways in her seat to face Riley and the boys better. She lifted her hand, Palm up to gesture to the girl in the desk next to her.

"We uh...did a little experiment today in the closet...and we failed." She explained.

Both boys hunched over their desks, confused.

"What kind of experiment?" Farkle inquired.

"I uh, tried to read Riley's mind...but I couldn't. She couldn't read mine either."

Riley sat silently the entire time, afraid to speak or make eye contact.

"So we're going to go home, sit in the window, and hopefully figure something out."

What else could they do under the circumstances? They couldn't stay this way. This was how friendships crumbled; with cracks and pressure. She didn't want that to happen to them. Whatever the strain was, they would find it and fix it. Maya was not about to lose her best friend. She wouldn't let that happen.

Riley picked up her books and smiled halfheartedly at the boys.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow." She almost whispered. When her eyes met Lucas's he offered her an assuring grin. He would have done the same for Maya but she wouldn't even look at him.

After the girls had exited the classroom Farkle and Lucas stood and prepared to leave. Only one of them knew what kind of consequences this conversation could have. He hoped that Riley would finally come clean and that Maya would understand. He hoped the secrets and lies would finally come to an end. Tomorrow could be a whole new world, and poor, unsuspecting Lucas, didn't even have a clue.

The girls somberly entered Riley's bedroom and headed straight for the window. This was the safest place in their entire world and right now both girls desperately needed to feel that. They sat down next to one another; Maya chewing her lip, Riley staring at her shoes.

Maya groped for words but none came. This was even worse than the awkward silence with Lucas. This was Riley. It supposed to be the two of them forever. How could it be the two of them forever if they couldn't even talk to one another anymore? When was the last time they had really talked? When was the last time she'd honestly asked Riley what she was thinking or how she felt? Maybe she had just taken it for granted that she already knew.

The blonde turned to face the girl sitting next to her; really taking her in for the first time in who knew how long. As she looked at her now she could see little changes. Riley had begun to stray from her flowy, flowery get ups. She'd been wearing her hair straighter. She had even experimented with makeup a little. Somehow Maya hadn't noticed any of that before.

"Hey Riles..."

Riley turned to face Maya with soft sad eyes.

"What are you thinking about right now?" She asked the brown eyed girl, who shrugged in response.

"I'm thinking about how scary it is that you have to ask me that question. Why? What are you thinking about?"

The blonde just nodded knowingly. "I was thinking the same thing. I don't get it Riley. We were the two best friends on the entire planet," Riley winced at the way Maya spoke of their friendship in past tense, "how did this happen?"

Riley didn't know how to answer that question. At first she had been convinced that she was to blame; that everything had fallen apart as a direct result of her lie. That wasn't true though. Whatever the disconnect was, it had started before the lie because if Maya had been able to read her mind when the yearbooks came out then the thought of Riley and Lucas as brother and sister would never have existed. The lie probably didn't help, but it wasn't the source of the problem.

"I don't know Maya. We're growing up. We're both changing-"

The blonde's blue eyes widened in horror.

"What are you saying?! You think we're outgrowing each other?!"

That was both of the girls' biggest fear. Riley was the light to Maya's dark. Maya was the wild to Riley's calm. They needed one another.

"No! No, I would never say that! I'm just saying, I don't know about you, but for me? There are days when I don't even know what I'm thinking-"

Maya chuckled bemused, "yeah, I have those days too," like every day she thought to herself.

The brunette smiled, happy that she was at least making some sense.

"So if I don't even know what I'm thinking-"

"Then how could I?" The blonde finished the question for her.

She nodded in agreement. "Exactly! I think it's just going to take some time to tune into one another's new frequency. And until then, we feel our way through...but I do think that even when we can read each other's minds again we should still keep talking instead of just...assuming we know, ya know?"

Riley was handling this situation so well. She was so calm and sensible. The old Riley would have overreacted, but this version of her best friend had a logical response for everything so far.

"Hey Riles...what made you decide to pull me into that closet in the first place?"

"There was no window at school." She stated bluntly, making the girl's blue eyes dance with laughter.

"Yeah, but why did you feel the need to try to read each other's minds all of a sudden...unless, maybe it wasn't so sudden?...you knew that was going to happen didn't you?"

Riley had known that Maya hadn't been able to read her for a while now, but she had still been shocked to realize how far apart they had drifted. There was also something else bothering her about the closet, and what had inspired her to test their connection to begin with.

"I had a feeling it might," she said avoiding her best friend's gaze.

The blonde shook her head sadly and sighed. "Because I've guessed wrong before?"

The brunette's head snapped up to meet the other's eyes. She searched her for any warning sign of suspicion, but all she saw was fear. If she was ever going to tell Maya the truth about Lucas this would be the moment to do it. Part of her wanted to. She hated having this lie between them, but if she revealed her secret now all it would bring was misery. They would feel guilty for being happy and any progress they had made would become tainted. Their friendship was already struggling. How would Maya react if she knew Riley had lied to her? That could end up being the final straw. She didn't want to keep lying to her though either. There had to be an honest way to answer her question.

"You thought that I was happy with Charlie. I didn't even know I was acting different until Zay and Farkle both said something about it, but I felt better than I had in weeks. They saw my relief and you didn't. It just made me wonder..."

"What else I couldn't see," Maya continued.

"Yeah..."

Both girls sat there a few moments lost in their own thoughts, before Riley turned to face Maya and smiled.

"Well, we may not be able to read one another's minds right now but we can still finish each other's sentences." She pointed out cheerfully.

The blonde smirked ruefully. "You know if we don't get that back Shawn and your dad will never let us hear the end of it."

They both laughed at the mental image.

"Believe me, I know."

She glanced over at Riley again, her blue eyes pleading.

"Riles? We're gonna be okay, aren't we?"

The brunette smiled reassuringly. "Yeah peaches, we're going to be fine." They had to be.

She'd had a lot of time to think about why things had gone wrong. Her explanation made sense, but even she wasn't sure if that's what was really going on. She wanted more than anything to believe it was just a glitch that would fix itself. She needed to believe that. The alternative possibility wasn't one she was willing to accept.

The girls hugged it out and Maya prepared to climb out the window, but before she could will herself down the fire escape something stopped her.

"So homework and coffee, huh?" The blonde asked playfully.

"I guess I haven't been sleeping well lately."

She hesitated a moment before asking "why did you think that I would be thinking about Lucas?"

The brunette shrugged, "because you like him."

Maya nodded slowly as she pulled her lips into a tight smile, "yeah."

It wasn't like she never thought about Lucas. She thought about the way his eyes bore into hers whenever he really looked at her. She thought about how she had felt when he'd climbed up on that bull. She thought about the feel of his hands on her face and the heat from the fire. She thought about the way he had told her that he cared about her and how that had made her feel. She just hadn't been thinking any of those things right that second.

"When you...thought...you liked Lucas, what did you think about...when you thought about him?"

Riley's head tilted slightly as she considered her answer, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I thought about a lot of different things. At first I thought about the color of his eyes and how their shade would change with his mood and his smile. I really liked his smile. I'd think about him whenever I saw something I knew he'd find funny or I'd see something interesting and wonder what he'd say about it, and then I could imagine what he'd say. I thought about things I wanted to tell him and things I hoped he'd share with me...I uh, I thought about a lot of different things." She said as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear with another smile, but this one looked different to Maya.

It looked forced...

Maya had been hoping that she was wrong, but their conversation in the window had confirmed what she had already known deep down. Farkle had been right all along. Riley never saw Lucas as a brother. She had only said that to push him toward Maya. She had stepped back from Lucas, just as she believed her best friend had done, but had she really done that? She had trusted Farkle and Riley to know what she was feeling; to understand her even when she couldn't. But if they couldn't read one another anymore...what did that mean about Riley's revelations in Texas?

Even if she did like Lucas, and let's face it she probably did by now, he was a great guy and really fun to look at. Who wouldn't like him? It was obvious that he still had feelings for Riley. That had been easy to dismiss when she believed those feelings weren't reciprocated...but if they were what would Maya do? That would change everything...wouldn't it?

Riley sat back down at the window, still needed its security and magic. This place had a way of making things seem better than they were and she needed to believe this situation wasn't as bad as it seemed. As difficult as it had been to accept that her best friend was falling for the same guy she had feelings for, she had done it. They had both been dazzled by him from the moment they met and it wasn't either of their faults that it had happened the way it did. Maya had stepped back for her in the beginning, it had only been fair that she be willing to do the same.

Earlier that day Farkle had said he could only imagine how hard it had been for her to hear Maya say the words. The only thing was that Maya hadn't said the words. Riley had. Maya hadn't said that she liked Lucas or how long, nor had she admitted to holding back for Riley's sake. Riley had assumed those things…just as Maya had assumed Riley thought of Lucas as a brother months before. It had never occurred to her at the time that the rift between them went both ways. Which left Riley wondering whether or not her sacrifice had been based on the truth or assumptions, and if so what did that mean for all of them?


	58. Chapter 58-Boats & Birds

**A/N: I apologize for the delay, I know I keep doing that to you guys lately and I'm sorry. All I can say is that I'm doing my best not to go too long between updates.**

 **Side note: You already know I don't own anything GMW related (sadly) nor do I own the awesome song referenced in this chapter.**

Maya had been gone maybe ten minutes when she finally decided to leave the confines of her window. Riley had homework due the next day that she hadn't even started on yet and her life was a big enough mess without letting her grades slip on top of everything else. She plugged her headphones into her phone and found her "Happy Place" playlist. Anyone that knew her would expect this list to be filled with joyful lyrics and bouncy melodies, only she knew what it really meant.

She flopped down on her bed with her books and some paper, determined to get at least one productive thing done today. As she worked she began to mumble along with the lyrics and kick her feet to the melody of the music.

That was how he found her when he crawled through the window. He stood there for a moment like a sailor lost in a siren's spell, listening to her sing and watching her smile as the words escaped her lips.

-when I turn jet black and you show off your light, I live to let you shine. I live to let you shine.-

As her gaze shifted from her notebook to her textbook she caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. Quickly she yanked one of the earbuds out of place and turned to face him.

"Lucas?! How long have you been standing there?"

He shrugged with a smile, "long enough to know your secret."

The brunette's heart dropped from her chest to her stomach. He knew? I mean, technically she had told him, but when he hadn't immediately confronted her she had come to the conclusion that he either hadn't figured it out or he didn't really want to know. Either way she had no intention of bringing it up again. But now he was here, and he knew, and she should probably figure out what she was going to say to him. She knew how he felt about lying, even for the right reasons. They had written an entire paper on it together, but surely he would understand once she explained everything...wouldn't he?

Then again, she wasn't even sure she still understood what she had really done. It had made perfect sense to her in theory. She had thought she was doing the right thing. She had thought he and Maya would be happy and together...only none of that had happened. Farkle was right; nothing had gotten better and no one seemed happy, so how could it possibly still be the right thing?

"Why didn't you ever tell me you could sing?" He asked curiously.

He knew she had other secrets as well and he wanted to know what they were, but this didn't seem like the right time to confront her about them. She was still reeling over this revelation about her and Maya; and as much as he hated to admit it, even if she didn't really like Charlie she probably had some kind of feelings about their breakup. Whatever else she was hiding from him, it could wait. Right now he just wanted to see her and know if she was okay.

She removed the bud from her other ear and lifted herself off the bed to meet him by her window.

"Um, because I can't." She said as if it were obvious.

"Riles I've heard you sing. You're not nearly as horrible as you seem to think you are. You're actually really good." He encouraged.

He was always encouraging her; it was one of the reasons she liked him so much. He called her words like powerful and told her she was good at things, even when she knew she wasn't.

"Thank you, Lucas, but I'm not nearly as good as you're making me out to be either. There are a lot of truly talented people in this world," like all of her friends, "I'm just not one of them."

She wasn't awful. She wasn't great. She was just...okay. That seemed to be how everyone saw her, and why wouldn't they when she was constantly surrounded by greatness? Farkle was the smartest kid on the entire planet…except for maybe Smackle. Zay was funny and apparently could dance as well. Lucas, well Lucas was good at literally everything he did, and Maya…Maya was the amazon warrior, the blonde beauty, the girl that every guy wanted to be with and every girl wanted to be…especially Riley.

He hated to hear her talk about herself this way. She genuinely seemed to believe that she was somehow less than everyone around her, and it killed him. Couldn't she see the impact she had made on the world, or even just him? Couldn't she see the way he felt about her?

"Why do you do that?" He asked, revealing his frustration.

She tilted her head as her brows knit together in surprise and confusion.

"Why do I do what?"

He raised his hand gesturing to the pretty girl in front of him.

"Why do you talk about yourself like that?!" He wasn't shouting but there was definitely emotion of some kind emitting from his voice.

"I don't-I don't know...I guess it's just my nature...my flaw..."

"Insecurity," he mumbled.

She shrugged with a sad smile.

"It's always mattered more to me what my friends think of me," she recited.

Lucas nodded at the memory of the words. "Well you're talking about my best friend, and I happen to think she's pretty amazing."

He could have said more. He wanted to. He wanted to tell her how beautiful he thought she was both inside and out. He wanted to tell her how she inspired him and everyone else around them to be the best possible versions of themselves. He wanted to tell her that you don't have to be able to sing or paint or be a super genius to be worth something in the eyes of someone. Mostly he wanted to tell her that she already more than worth it to him, flaws and all, but he wasn't sure she would accept those words coming from him.

She smiled thoughtfully, trying to remind herself that he was technically dating her best friend and he would have said the same about anyone in their circle of friends.

"You, uh, you probably just missed Maya...unless you ran into her coming up the fire escape?"

And there was the glaring reminder of their situation. He still didn't understand how they had gotten here, how she could wake up one day and just not like him anymore. Not even a year before, they had been sitting on the subway together as she had given him his first kiss. He'd never considered that it would be the only one that they would ever share. Even though they had agreed not to rush into a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship he had always assumed that they were still more than friends. Words didn't change feelings…did they? They hadn't for him. Boyfriend, friend, brother, it didn't matter what she called him, he still felt exactly the same about her.

He had begged her to make him understand on New Year's but nothing had come from that conversation other than a cryptic clue from Farkle that Riley had been supposed to tell him something that night. The moment he had gotten her alone at the party she had already started trying to get rid of him.

'Shouldn't you be out there? With Maya?'

That wasn't the first time she had done that. Every time he had tried to talk to her about what had gone wrong between the two of them she had somehow found a way to avoid I, usually by bringing up Maya. He didn't want to talk about Maya. He didn't want to think about Maya or the campfire, or anything else that had happened in Texas, but Riley refused to let him forget it for even a second. Ever since they had come back from that awful trip all she had done was remind him.

"I didn't see her on the way up," he said gesturing behind him to the window.

They stood there lost in the sea of words they were both holding back. Finally, Riley broke the silence between them.

"I'm actually glad that you're here. There's something I've been wanting to say to you, I just…" couldn't do it in front of Maya, "wasn't sure how to bring it up."

His expression immediately became curious, hoping that she had realized she could confide in him whatever she had been hiding. For months he felt as if there was a wall between them and he hated it. He had thought that it was because she had stopped liking him, but Farkle's confession had persuaded him that perhaps the distance he was feeling was a product of what she was hiding. Maybe, hopefully, she hadn't drifted as far away as he felt she had.

"You can tell me anything, Riley."

'If only that were true,' she sighed internally.

"I know, it's just…kind of an awkward subject. I wanted to apologize to you," for a lot of different things.

She waited for him to respond but when he didn't she took that as a sign to continue.

"I just wanted you know, I know that Charlie wasn't being very nice to you. And even though it wasn't exactly my fault it was because of me. He had no right to treat you that way."

"You're right," Lucas replied, "That wasn't your fault."

They sat down at the window and continued to talk. This time she didn't scoot in the opposite direction. At least he could be thankful for that small favor.

"I just feel like I should have seen it sooner. When I found out Charlie told you about wanting to trade partners I asked him about it and he said that he was just trying to be a good friend because he didn't want you to make me uncomfortable-"She began to explain.

"Was I making you uncomfortable?"

Yes, but only because she didn't trust herself not to slip up and tell him everything she had been keeping from him all those months.

"No, not really. Being back in the library after so much had happened was a little weird and us arguing was definitely new…but I'm always happy when I'm spending time with you Lucas.

She probably shouldn't have said that, but for some reason she couldn't resist.

He smiled at her declaration. He was always happy to be spending time with her too.

"Can I ask how the big talk went? You both seemed pretty upset when you left school today."

Of course, that's what he was doing here. He had come to check on the girls, to see if they were okay. As she sat there contemplating her conversation with Maya she wasn't sure how to answer that question. All they had really agreed on was that everything was a mess and neither understood why. There was so much more broken between them than she had ever realized.

"I would tell you, but I'm not really sure. We talked about it and we agreed that life is kind of confusing right now and maybe that's confusing us as well, but we didn't feel any closer when it was over, so I don't know."

He wanted to console her but he didn't know how. Every time he tried to get close to her she had pulled away from him.

"Can I ask what you're confused about?" he asked tentatively.

Asking her what she wasn't confused by these days would have rendered a much shorter list.

"A lot of things confuse me, Lucas; feelings, people, pop goes the weasel…What the heck is a mulberry bush? Is it normal for a monkey and a weasel to live in the same habitat? Why is the monkey chasing the weasel, and why is he running in his socks? Why is he even wearing socks? Did the weasel steal his shoes? Is that why he's chasing him? And what is this big pop that weasel does? Does he jump up and scare the monkey does he spontaneously combust?"

Lucas sat in silence as he watched Riley's expression transform from somber to animated. Her voice raised slightly with every syllable she uttered as her hands began waving around in different directions as she went on and on about a children's nursery rhyme that was probably never intended for such intense analyzation. She must have remembered her audience and grown self-conscious because her expression shifted again, this time from enthusiasm to embarrassment.

"Obviously I think way too much," she said with an adorable giggle that reminded him of the day he'd learned about her passion for the Knicks. She probably thought that he was sitting there regretting the question he had asked or wishing he had been talking with someone more interesting about more important things. She was always so busy comparing herself to other people…especially Maya. She had been doing that since the day he had met her. Riley still didn't seem to understand that to him there was no one more fascinating or endearing. She was perfect just the way she was.

"You should probably go before my dad comes home and finds you here," she suggested, though he wasn't sure why. Mr. Mathews hadn't chased him out of her room since the night before they left for Texas. As long as Riley held no romantic interest in him his boots were perfectly, miserably safe…except for the one Riley had refused to return when she'd decided to redecorate her room.

He hated to leave her, especially when they were just starting to feel like them again for the first time in he couldn't remember how long, but she was right. Besides he had homework to do and a riddle to solve.

"You're probably right. I'll see you tomorrow,' he said before approaching the window. He was halfway through when he turned and called out.

"Hey Riles,"

"Yeah, Lucas?"

"I really liked that song you were singing when I first came in."

She smiled in response as he disappeared from view.

If he had gone home and looked up the lyrics to that song he would have figured out what she hiding for sure.


	59. Chapter 59-Shifting Angles

"A Rubix cube?!"

Lucas nodded, his voice completely monotone as he replied.

"A Rubix cube."

Zay threw his hands up in the air, the small foam basketball still in one hand.

"Why would he think that would be helpful? Man, you plugged away at that thing for three weeks straight before finally chucking it in the trash."

Zay was right. After three weeks of getting every square but one in the correct place he had finally given up and accepted that some puzzles were never meant to be solved.

"Yeah, but this is Farkle we're talking about. He probably solved his on the very first try."

"In a minute or less," Zay added.

"Yeah..." Lucas sighed.

"When he was two years old," Zay continued.

"Probably," Lucas said with a shrug.

He had gone over his conversation with Farkle at least a thousand times and it still didn't make any sense.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you were never this much work back in Texas."

The corners of Lucas's mouth lifted into a small smile.

"There was no Riley in Texas."

There was no Maya either.

Zay merely shrugged. He couldn't argue with the truth.

"That girl is a lot more complex than I gave her credit for, that's for sure." He said as he tossed the ball into the hoop.

Lucas turned to face his old friend, a perplexed expression on his face.

"What do you mean?" He asked, clearly not getting it.

Zay thought the world of his buddy but sometimes it was hard to believe how clueless he could be.

"Just that most people look at Riles and see all sunshine and rainbows, but there's more to her to than that. Girl's got a dark side. And she thinks...a lot, but she keeps all that to herself." He shrugged. "I can relate."

If you didn't really know Isaiah Babineaux you would think he was the most carefree person on the planet, whose only concern was his next joke or blunt commentary. No one in class would have guessed that he was a serious ballet dancer or was in the middle of his own personal crisis. No one had ever asked and he wasn't the type of person to volunteer that kind of information.

It was easy to see Riley's sunshine. In fact, it had been the first thing that Lucas had noticed about her. She was silly, adorable, and infectiously happy. That was only the surface though. On top of being beautiful and fascinating, she was easily the best friend he had ever had. He loved all of his friends but there was just something about her specifically. She had listened to him when he told her things and he found himself sharing his secrets with her. She was the one that had really made New York feel like home. He had meant what he had said in Texas, he couldn't have survived here without her.

There were clouds surrounding her brilliant sunlight though. She was every bit as pretty as Maya and just as intelligent as Farkle, but she didn't know it. She was a decent artist and a good singer, but she never believed anyone when they told her. She was brave and empowered. She was changing the world and she didn't even realize it. She had certainly changed his for the better...not that she believed that.

'Do you not know how powerful you are? How much you change things? How much you change people?'

'Without you I would have been kicked out of school by now, for sure. When Billy was picking on Farkle I wanted to beat him up, but you found a better way to reach him; you didn't just change his behavior. You changed who he was and how he felt about things.'

'That wasn't me, Lucas. You didn't beat up Billy because Maya stopped you when she jumped on your back.'

'You all might think you need me, but you don't. None of you do.'

She had no idea how wrong she was. Riley had said that her friends' opinions seemed to matter more to her than her own, but from what Lucas could see that was entirely backwards. All of her friends thought she was wonderful and perfect just as she was. He had done everything in his power to show her how important she was to him. He had told her repeatedly, and yet she seemed surprised every time it happened.

Maya had done that too. Apparently neither of them believed they mattered unless they were told.

"Earth to Luke, man! You still in there?" He bounced the Styrofoam ball off his friend's head, trying to get his attention.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking…" he trailed off, already lost in thought again.

Zay just sighed, "Which one?"

There was that deer in the headlights look again.

"Which one, what?" the blonde boy asked.

"Which one was you thinking about? Riley or Maya?" He said as if it were obvious…because it was. That was all Lucas had thought about ever since Texas.

Lucas picked up the ball and threw it back at his friend.

"Honestly, a little of both. Mostly Riley though. I just don't get it Zay. Why would Riley lie and what would she lie about?"

"Sparkles didn't say she lied. He just said she had a secret." He reasoned.

"Haven't you ever heard of a lie of omission? Letting someone believe something that you know isn't true?"

Zay's mouth formed as upside down u as he considered Lucas's words.

"Okay, so Smiley Riley can lie just like the rest of us. Whatever it is it's apparently something you're supposed to already know."

"Yeah, but I don't know," Lucas countered, his voice rising.

"Maybe ya do."

This time Lucas was the one to throw his hands in the air.

"But I don't know! I would know if I knew!"

Zay just shrugged.

"Maybe you wouldn't."

Lucas scratched the back of his neck in frustration.

"How is this helping?"

"I don't know. I'm just repeating what the genius said. He said you had all the info you needed. He said it was a Rubix cube. He told you to figure it out."

Zay didn't usually put much thought into the words that came out of his mouth, but given Lucas's mood he wasn't sure whether he wanted to say what he was thinking out loud just yet.

"Let's go through it again. What all did he tell you?"

Lucas didn't have to pull the note out. He'd read it so many times the words were seared into his brain already but he did so anyway.

"I asked if he knew Riley didn't like Charlie, he said he knew everything, I said what's everything, he said she was supposed to have told me something on new year's, I asked what, he said it's a Rubix cube."

"Hey, uh, Lucas," he hesitated, unsure whether or not he should bring this up.

"Riles said that she thought she liked Charlie for a little while, right?"

He instantly regretted his words as he watched his best friend tense up at them as they exited his mouth.

"Yeah, so?"

"So…do you ever wonder if that's why she stopped liking you? Because she thought she was starting to like someone else?"

Of course the thought had crossed his mind at first, but it went against everything he knew Riley to be. She wasn't careless, she was considerate. She thought more about other people and their feelings than anyone he'd ever known.

"She's not like that." He insisted.

"That's not the impression I got either but didn't you say everything started going wonky when he asked her to that dance?"

As much as he didn't believe that could be the cause he couldn't deny the timing.

"It had to be something else."

"Well I mean, he did put on quite a production. You didn't even ask her, and that was right after the entire class basically told her she was too boring for you-"Zay began babbling as usual.

"They didn't say that," Lucas interjected.

"Oh yes they did! Not only did they tell her she was too boring for you. They told her that her best friend was better than her. That had to sting, especially for a girl like Riles, and you not asking her, I can see how that would get in her head."

Lucas had never seen it that way. He hadn't paid any mind to those stupid yearbooks or what his classmates thought about his relationship with Riley. As long as he knew how Riley felt about him and she knew how he felt about her, none of those things mattered. At least he hadn't thought they would…but this was the girl that became Morotia M Black because they called her Smiley Riley…the girl whose biggest flaw was that she cared too much what others thought…

' _Well you're talking about my best friend, and I happen to think she's pretty amazing.'_

' _You, uh, you probably just missed Maya...unless you ran into her coming up the fire escape?'_

She'd done that on New Year's as well…

' _Lucas, shouldn't you be out there? With Maya?'_

And during their English paper…

' _Yeah, but don't you think he's kind of taking the coward's way out? I mean he doesn't tell Roxane how he feels or ask her what she wants, he just up and decides she couldn't possibly love him and pushes her toward someone else.'_

' _Someone she's clearly attracted to, Lucas.'_

' _How many girls do you know that would honestly choose Cyrano over Christian?'_

' _I just think it might be kind of weird for Maya, you know, us working together. She hasn't said anything but I remember what it was like when it was you and me, and then the two of you would have these intense moments that everyone would comment and speculate on. She doesn't deserve that.'_

' _People always said that you and I didn't make a good couple because we're too much alike.'_

Even in the window that day…

' _I'm just me! I can't actually fix anything!'_

' _That wasn't me, Lucas. You didn't beat up Billy because Maya stopped you.'_

He hadn't been listening to those comments but obviously she had…and she had believed them. That was how he had lost her. That was when everything went wrong. That was how they had gotten here. He'd thought that he had made his feelings for her crystal clear, but she had been having doubts and somehow he had missed that. Had he known he would have reassured her that she was the only girl he wanted. He would have asked her to that stupid dance….but he hadn't.

Instead she had lost faith in him and Charlie had used that to worm his way in.

Riley thought that he wanted Maya. Back then he could have easily set her straight but things were complicated now. He knew that his feelings for the girls were vastly different. He knew that he spent a lot more time fantasizing about being with Riley than he ever had Maya. Yet every time he told himself that he did not have any romantic interest in Maya Hart he found himself asking the same question.

'Then how did you end up almost kissing her, you idiot? You're not the crazy kisser guy. You don't go around just kissing every pretty girl you see. So why that one?'

No matter how many times he'd asked that question he could never come up with a valid answer. The only logical explanation seemed to be that he must like her as more than a friend.

"She stopped liking me because she thought I liked someone else," he realized sadly. "How did you realize in five minutes what I haven't been able to put together in five months?"

Zay just shrugged, "cause I don't have all those pesky feelings clouding my judgement. Or maybe Farkle and I are just better at puzzles than you."

Suddenly a lightbulb went off in his head.

"It's a Rubix cube!" Zay shouted enthusiastically.

"I think we've established that, Zay."

'What would this poor boy do without me' he thought to himself.

"The note man, did he say anything after the Rubix cube comment?"

Lucas opened up the letter and looked at it for the millionth time.

"Just something about shifting angles til it comes together,"

He could tell by the massive cocky grin on his friend's face that he'd just realized something important and possibly helpful.

"Dude, he is good! You know cause you shift the different rows until they're all one color," he explained as he gestured the movement in question with his hands. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"No, but I'd be very interested to learn Zay, what did you figure out?"

"It's a Rubix cube, dude! Shift your angles!" he exclaimed.

Lucas looked at him, confused as ever.

"Seriously? What are you? Stuck on stupid? It means stop thinking with this," he shoved Lucas in the chest with his finger, "and start thinking with this," he said pointing to his head. You already have all the info man."


	60. Chapter 60-Late Night Conversations

_**A/N: All text messages are in bold for this chapter**_

It had been a couple days since Maya's world had come crashing down on her. That's exactly how she had felt when she realized that somewhere between last year and now she had completely lost her best friend. Technically Riley was still here, but she wasn't the same Riley that she had been before. This Riley told lies and kept secrets. This Riley painted eclipses instead of purple cats. This Riley believed that some things were too broken to ever be fixed. Would the new Riley consider Maya to be one of those things? Would she believe their friendship was broken, beyond repair?

Maya wasn't a fixer, like Riley. She had tried to be once, when Riley was Morotia and Farkle became Donnie Barnes. She had thought she'd managed to pull it off okay. She'd gotten Riley to take off the Goth gear and smile at the sunshine...but she had also completely misread Riley's feelings for Lucas, which had started them down path that had gotten them all here. Lucas had never wanted to be her brother and turns out, he never was. He would be over the moon to know that...but if Maya told him what would happen to her and his relationship? What would happen to her relationship with Riles? She wanted to do the right thing...like Riley would. She just wasn't sure what that would be under the circumstances. Riley didn't seem to think Lucas needed to know. She hadn't even intended for Maya to. But now she did and was more confused than she had ever been...and that was saying a lot because she had been nothing but confused for months now.

This was completely uncharted territory. Up until now whatever the girls had faced, they had always done so together. For some reason this time was different. For some reason Riley had taken it upon herself to fly solo on this one, and now both girls were out there on their own, scrambling to get back to one another. No wonder everything had become such a mess. Neither of them were capable of doing this life thing without one another. They were supposed to be Shawn and Mathews. They were supposed to be friends for the rest of their lives. She had thought she and Riley were better friends than them because she and Riley could read one another's minds. What she had failed to realize is that they had done something she and Riley hadn't done yet...they had survived life together.

She glanced over at the clock on her night stand wondering if it was too late to call. She could text to test the waters; see if he was awake and if he'd mind.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Hey, any chance you're awake?**

She sat in the silence a few moments before her phone lit up with a response.

 **To: Maya**

 **I'm always up late. Occupational hazard. What's up kid?**

Maya didn't usually like to be called kid. It always felt like an insult, as if whoever it was were talking down to her. When Shawn called her that it was different. It felt more like a nickname; a term of endearment.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Can't sleep. Got stuff on my mind...you and Mathews, you're pretty close right? I mean you look out for one another. You finish each other's sentences?**

Shawn liked that she trusted him enough to confide in him but he always felt ill equipped to teach this girl anything. He might be a grown man but there was still a lot he didn't know. He, himself, was still learning.

 **To: Maya**

 **Yeah, Cor's my best friend. You've seen the Christmas ornament to prove it ;)**

The blonde girl snorted as she read his response. Sadly she had seen that hideous ornament and her eyes hated her for it.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Not exactly bragging rights there...was there ever a time when you couldn't finish each other's sentences anymore?**

Oh boy!

 **To: Katie**

 **Maya is asking my advice about friendship. Help me?!**

Katie stifled a giggle at Shawn's message. They had been texting off and on ever since he had left but this was the first time he was asking for help talking to her daughter.

 **To: Shawn**

 **You always do great with her. You don't need my help for this. Just be honest. :)**

Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Katie's message was sweet but not very helpful.

'Okay Hunter, you got this. She's just asking about friends. That's something you know plenty about, right? Yeah, it'll be fine' he reasoned with himself.

 **To: Maya**

 **You don't have to finish one another's sentences or have your freaky ESP thing to be best friends. You just have to keep looking out for each other and remember what's most important.**

'Oh god! Now he was turning into Feeny too.'

 **To: Shawn**

 **Did you and Mathews ever like the same girl...?**

She laid on her bed, staring at the words she just typed. How had it come to this? How could she have accidentally developed a thing for the same boy her best friend liked without even knowing it? She inhaled deeply as she pressed the send button: hoping Shawn could tell her something that would somehow make this situation suck a little less.

 **To: Katie**

 **Oh God! She's asking about boys! Help me?!**

As much as Katie hated to admit it, part of her was jealous. Maya turned to everyone else in her life before she would even consider coming to Katie with her problems. It saddened her to realize that her daughter either didn't trust her or thought she had nothing to offer in this category, but she had been the one to drive Maya away to protect the fantasy of Kermit for so long. She understood why Maya wouldn't trust her now.

 **To: Shawn**

 **She came to you with this for a reason. I have no doubt that whatever you say will be just what she needs to hear.**

'Okay, Katie thinks I can do this. Maya thinks I can do this. I can do this...maybe...hopefully. Who am I kidding? I'm not ready for boys!'

 **To: Maya**

 **Cor and I had a few problems with girls over the years. There was a girl I liked who didn't think of me as boyfriend material, but she did see him that way. They went out on a date and I gave him a hard time, but it all worked out. There was also a girl I dated that didn't want us to be friends anymore. Obviously she had to go. The only girl that ever really came between us was Topanga.**

Whoa! This was definitely a Mathews family story she hadn't heard before. Her fingers worked at lightning speed genuinely curious what had happened and how they had gotten through it. If the three of them had managed to stay friends, maybe she, Riley and Lucas could too.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Topanga? As in Mathews's wife, Riley and Auggie's mom, Topanga?**

He chuckled at her response.

 **To: Maya**

 **How many women named Topanga do you know?**

He had her there. It wasn't exactly common.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Okay, so what happened with you and Topanga?**

He wasn't sure if this was going to help or not, but Katie had said to be honest.

 **To:Maya**

 **Well for starters I asked her out when I knew Cor liked her, but that was only to get him to quit saluting and stuttering and make a move. He hated me until he realized why I did it. He thought I had betrayed him.**

The blonde twirled a strand of hair around her finger absentmindedly. That story explained so much about Riley. She really was Mathews with Topanga's hair apparently.

 **To: Shawn**

 **But you didn't actually like her, like her? You were just pushing Mathews.**

According to Cory, Maya had done something similar last year with Riley and...Oh boy!

 **To: Maya**

 **I was attracted to her (who wouldn't be? She's gorgeous) but I never saw her as more than my best friend's girl and eventually one of my best friends too.**

So he liked her but he didn't like her?

 **To: Shawn**

 **So you think she's gorgeous and amazing but you never wanted to kiss her?**

This feelings nonsense just got more and more complicated. Who needed the rabbit hole to Wonderland when you had this mess to deal with?

Shawn scratched his head, wondering how he could possibly explain this.

 **To: Maya**

 **The part of me that was attracted to her was curious about kissing her, but I never wanted to date her. And by the time I finally did get to kiss her (it was for a video in college Cor was right there when it happened and everything) physically we had good chemistry. We just didn't have those kind of feelings for each other.**

She had to have read that wrong.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Wait, so Mathews let you kiss his girlfriend?!**

He understood her response. It still sounded ridiculous to him too and he had lived through it.

 **To: Maya**

 **Yeah, he even insisted we go on a date together. Nothing happened though.**

Wow, it was scary how similar Riley and her dad were.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Because he's your best friend?**

Shawn knew exactly why she had come to him now. Because Riley was his Cory and someone had threatened the sanctity their friendship.

 **To: Maya**

 **You're growing up kid. You're learning about the world but you're also learning about your friends and yourself. You will learn that there's more than one way to feel about someone. You can like someone with your heart. You can like someone with your mind. You can like someone with your soul...and you can like them with your body. A lot of kids confuse the ways they like people because they don't understand which part of them the liking is coming from. I liked Topanga as a person and a friend. I also liked her with my body, but I never liked her with my heart and soul the way Cory does. Even if I had nothing would have happened between us.**

She ran her hands through her hair as she thought about her current predicament and Shawn's advice.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Because Mathews is your best friend, right?**

It was a little more than that. He had seen what happened when you tried to come between Cory and Topanga. It didn't work out well for anyone foolish enough to try.

 **To: Maya**

 **Because they are both two of my best friends and because she wanted him the same way he wanted her. She would never have let anything happen between us and I would never have hurt either of them or myself that way.**

She sat there twisting her friendship ring around her finger. It was the symbol of their eternal bond. As she sat there lost in thought her phone illuminated with another message.

 **To: Maya**

 **This is about Lucas isn't it?**

How could he possibly know that? Had he even met Lucas? She couldn't remember but she doubted so.

 **To: Shawn**

 **What makes you say that?**

She chewed on her thumbnail nervously as she waited for a reply.

 **To: Maya**

 **Because the only guy I've ever heard you talk about liking is Cory's brother and I can't see you and Riley both liking her uncle like that...I still haven't told you how Topanga almost came between us.**

She bit down on her lip again as she typed out her reply.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Tell me?**

This was one of the few times he had genuinely almost lost Cory and it still hurt to think about.

 **To: Maya**

 **I had always been a pretty big supporter of their relationship until it came time for them to get married and I realized that she would be his new best friend, that their relationship would have to be priority over our friendship. I felt threatened. I thought I was going to lose him, but lucky for me Cor has really great taste in women. He chose Topanga, and she never made him choose between us. It took time to get used to and Cor and I still screwed it up a few times but they are best couple I know and our friendship has lasted a long time.**

She glanced down at her ring again. She found it interesting that the biggest threat to their friendship hadn't been both of them liking the same girl the same way, but liking the same girl different ways.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Where does Angela fit into all this?**

It was interesting learning about the adults in her life. Logically she knew that at some point in their lives they had been her age, but hearing about it made her realize that life was messy no matter what year you were meeting the world.

Shawn was a little taken aback by her question. He shouldn't have been surprised though given everything that had happened. She had been there when he had opened the time capsule and heard him talk about Angela a little bit. She had been there when his high school/ college sweetheart had come back into his life seeking his advice and offering him some in return. It was only natural for her to be curious, especially since he was developing some kind of relationship with her mother.

 **To: Maya**

 **Angela was the first girl I ever liked with my heart and soul, and that like grew to love. But it can't be love unless those two are involved.**

Her curiosity got the better of her.

 **To: Shawn**

 **What about my mom? How do you like her?**

Honestly Shawn was still figuring that out, but he had promised to be honest so he gave it his best shot.

 **To: Maya**

 **I like your mom a lot of different ways. I like her physically. I think she's beautiful. I like her with my mind, because I like her mind. I like how she thinks about things. I like her with my heart…I like she feels about things and I like how I feel whenever I'm with her. I like her with my soul because I like who she is as a person and I like how we complement each other. She gets me and I get her. That's really hard to find.**

Wow! She smiled as she read and reread his words.

 **To: Shawn**

 **You said you like her with your heart and soul…does that mean that you love her?**

This right here was exactly why he shouldn't be having these talks with the girls. Here he had been trying to explain such a complicated subject, and now he had confused her even more.

 **To: Maya**

 **I'm not saying that I love her right now. I'm still getting to know her.**

He did believe the potential was there though.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Can I tell you a secret?**

She felt like she could tell him anything, she just wanted to make sure he understood not to go blabbing to Mathews about it.

 **To: Maya**

 **You can tell me anything Maya.**

The moment he sent the message he began to wonder if that was the best thing. There were some things he was probably better off not knowing, or at least more comfortable not knowing.

The young blonde smiled at his response, her defenses temporarily lowered.

 **To: Shawn**

 **I'm really scared I'm going to lose my friends…growing up seems to mean growing apart and I don't want that.**

He didn't know exactly what the situation was between her, Riley, and this kid Lucas, but he did know that if Riley was anything like Cory, there was nothing Maya could ever do to lose her. Even when he'd tried to shake Cor loose, he hadn't been able to.

 **To: Maya**

 **I know it's scary to grow up, but if the three of you handle this situation the right way, you can come out of it together. Because they're your best friends and you're theirs.**

She smiled, grateful that Shawn had been awake and shared his experience. She could have gone to her Mom or Mathews or Topanga, but there was just something about the way Shawn talked to her and explained things to her. It was how she had always imagined Kermit would be, based on her mom's description. It was almost like having a dad of her own.

 **To: Shawn**

 **Thanks for that. Goodnight.**

He grinned at her reply, hoping he had helped in some way. He wondered if this was how Cory felt whenever Riley came to him with her problems. Was this what being a dad felt like?

 **To: Maya**

 **Hope it helped. Goodnight Maya.**

He switched from one conversation thread to another before typing out another message.

 **To: Katie**

 **I talked to her. I was honest like you said. I think it went okay. Thanks for believing in me...I miss you.**

She reached into the darkness for her lit up phone and smiled before responding.

 **To: Shawn.**

 **Never doubted you for a second. Goodnight. I miss you too.**

Maya laid in bed going over everything that had happened over the last few months and wondering where they were supposed to go from here. Couldn't the adults in her life ever just come out and say "this is what you do," they always had to be vague and talk in riddles. It was frustrating. Should she accept Riley's sacrifice and keep her secret? Should she follow Farkle's example and go running to Lucas with the truth? Whatever she decided it had to be the right choice. One more crack and the entire friendship might crumble.


	61. Chapter 61-Need to Know Basis

It was Texas all over again. The day of Riley and Maya's big bay window conversation everything seemed to shift once again, taking everyone's balance with it. Lucas had been completely preoccupied in his own little world; too distracted to even notice that Maya was practically ignoring him. Farkle assumed Lucas was busy trying to put the pieces of his riddle together. If he didn't figure it out soon he might as well pick them up and put them back in the box. Farkle couldn't do it all for him. It may have taken almost two years but they had finally found something Mr. Perfect wasn't so good at.

The blonde beauty had barely spoken to Lucas since that day. She couldn't even look at Riley. Every time she tried she was struck with yet another pang of guilt or wave of anger. So instead she sat silently twisting the ring around her finger; contemplating the mess they were all in and what she should do about it.

Maya had misread Riley's feelings about Lucas, but Riley was the one that had taken her incorrect conclusion and declared it fact, knowing that it wasn't true. Riley was the one that had told Lucas they would never be together. She was the one that had revealed Maya's feelings and then left them alone at the campfire. This was how she had decided things should be. If she wanted Lucas to know how she felt then she would just tell him...wouldn't she?

Farkle, unlike Riley, seemed to think that someone should be told, but he hadn't gone to Lucas with his Intel. For some reason he had decided Maya should be the one to shoulder this burden of information alongside him. Now they both knew the truth. He had done her no favors by sharing his knowledge with her.

She found him in science lab after school mixing chemicals. He was probably either curing cancer or creating a deadly weapon to dominate the world someday. Whatever he was creating he was too engrossed to hear her come in.

Maya plopped down on the stool next to him and waited for him to realize she was sitting there. He nearly dropped a beaker filled with God only knew what when he finally saw her.

"Why'd you do it?" She asked accusingly.

He sat the beaker down and glanced over at her curiously.

"Okay, I can't take you seriously in those," she said as she removed the protective eyewear from his face despite his objections.

"Why did you tell me? You could have told Charlie. You could have told Lucas. Why tell me?" Her blue eyes pierced into him.

"You deserved to know. You needed to know. Charlie already knew and Riley said she told Lucas."

She nodded in frustration.

"So I was the last to know!"

Farkle pointed in rebuttal "actually that's Lucas. He still doesn't know."

Her eyebrows rose in confusion.

"But you just said-"

Farkle interjected quickly "either she didn't really tell him or she did but he hasn't figured it out yet."

"So Ranger Rick has no idea?" She clarified.

"Not as far as I can see," the boy confirmed.

Maya say there chewing her lip before sighing deeply.

"How long have you known?" She asked.

He hated to see her like this. If he had made his decision to tell her based on his belief it was the right thing to do, it wouldn't bother him. But deep down he knew that wasn't what had driven him to dump all of this on her. He had been angry and frustrated and tired of being in the middle. He had wanted the lie to end so badly that he had handed it off for her to deal with. He realized now how unfair that had been.

"Since we first got back from Texas. I was there when she set up her date with Charlie. I saw the difference between how she acted with Charlie and how she was with Lucas." He shrugged as if stating am obvious fact.

"So you've known this whole time and you didn't say anything until New Year's?"

She had only known a few days and the secret was eating her alive. Riley and Farkle had known all along. Everything she was feeling now they had been feeling for months.

"Oh believe me, I said plenty. I tried to get Riley to tell you and Lucas the truth but she refused. I've been dropping hints like crazy hoping one of you would catch on. I gave her an ultimatum on New Year's; either she would tell you or I would."

Which would explain why Riley would leave her own party before midnight.

She smirked cynically.

"And then you told me and I didn't believe you..." She glanced down at her hand again. Slowly she reached down and pried the ring from her finger and placed it on the table in front of Farkle.

"What are you doing? What is this?" That ring was the symbol of her eternal bond with Riley. Why was she giving it up so easily? Was one boy, even a perfect freak like Lucas, worth losing the greatest friend in the entire world?

She finally raised her eyes to his, her blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"It's a friendship ring-"

"It's YOUR friendship ring," he corrected, but she shook her head at his declaration.

"No, it's a friendship ring. It's for Riley's best friend. That's not me anymore...its you."

She sniffles and rubbed her nose before explaining.

"I can't read her anymore Farkle. Not only did I completely misread her feelings, I had no idea anything was wrong. There were so many signs and I missed every single one of them. Either I couldn't see it or I didn't want to and honestly, I don't know which one is worse."

Farkle picked up the ring off the table and cradled it as if it were the most precious gem in the world. He picked up Maya's hand and slid the ring back on her finger, despite her protests.

"You are still Riley's best friend. Nothing and no one will ever come between you two. This situation is hard and scary, but you will get through it, and I am just as much your friend as I am hers. I love you equally, remember?"

She gave him a watery smile as her fingers curled around his hand.

"Riley thinks that I always liked Lucas. She thinks that I pretended not to like him so that she could be with him...but Riley can't read me anymore either. So if I was wrong about her feelings for Lucas, does that mean she was wrong about mine?"

Farkle shrugged. Maya wasn't usually a mystery to him. He knew her mind. He knew her heart. He knew who she was and why she did the things she did, but he honestly had no idea what was going on in her mind lately.

"Only you can answer that Maya. No one else can tell you what you feel. You have to figure it out for yourself."

She ran a hand through her long blonde hair.

"What if I don't know how I feel?"

That had been his suspicion for some time now, but he received no pleasure in its confirmation. Maya didn't know how she felt about Lucas. Maya didn't know how she felt about a lot of things at the moment.

"You think I like him too. You said so in Texas. Even Zay thinks we like each other."

He couldn't help but notice the way she spoke those words, as if they were somehow a disappointment. It seemed obvious to him that she didn't want to like Lucas, he just wasn't sure if she felt that way because of Riley or because of herself.

"I do think that you care about him but how and why isn't something I can tell you. The perception of a thing doesn't make it so. Every person in the free world could tell you that you like Lucas and it still wouldn't matter unless it's something you actually feel."

She smiled again, still wobbly but more genuine than the last.

"Thanks Farkle."

She lifted herself off the stool and prepared to leave him to whatever science project he had been working on when she'd first entered the room.

"Hey sparkles...how did you know that you liked Smackle? I mean you've been saying you like me and Riley for years, and science says you shouldn't be giving her the time of day romantically, but you divorced both me and Riley to date her, even though you love us and science is like gospel to you. Why?"

Farkle wasn't offended by her question. In fact, he'd asked if himself many times. His feelings for Isadora Smackle defied science and reason. It challenged everything else he had ever known. He still loved Riley and Maya, that hadn't changed. How he felt about them and how he felt about Isadora were completely separate and different sensations.

"Because I want to. I'm usually a man of science; chemistry and physics are how I understand the world. But I have feelings for her and even though I don't fully understand them yet, those feelings seem to be stronger than any scientific force or law I've ever studied."

Ever since she had realized the truth about Riley's feelings she had asked herself what she should do. She had asked herself what Riley would do in this situation or what she would want Maya to do. She had asked herself if Lucas would tell her if the roles were somehow reversed. She'd even asked what Mr. Mathews and Shawn would do. Never once had she asked herself what she wanted to do.

Did she want Lucas to know that Riley still liked him? She wasn't exactly chomping at the bit to tell him. The two of them were currently in the middle of something and she wanted the chance to figure out what that meant to her and Lucas. She knew once he heard how Riley felt she would lose any chance she ever had with him. She wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him, but she didn't want to lose him to Riley before she had the opportunity to find out.

Of course, knowing Riley's secret changed things too. It was almost February. Only a few more short months and they would be moving on to high school. None of them wanted to move into the unknown with this hanging over their heads. She would do what Farkle did. She would give herself a time limit to work out her portion of this equation. If she decided that she did in fact like him she would tell him the truth so that he could make a fair choice knowing all his options. She never asked herself what would happen if she found out that she didn't like him.


	62. Chapter 62-Unofficial Things

**A/N: First of all I just want to thank everyone for their continued love and support for this story. I love that you guys are so into it! Thoughts, Questions, Comments are always always always welcome!**

 **To the guest who left me a review, let me first say thank you for reading this story. I am glad that you enjoyed it and hope you will continue to do so.**

 **That being said I would also like you to know that I did moderate your review because I felt there were some unnecessary slandering of the characters. This is my story. I love each of these characters in different ways for different reasons and I will not stand for ANY of them being demonized in my review thread.**

 **Yes, Riley blurting out Maya's feelings was wrong. Just like Farkle blurting out her feelings was wrong and Maya blurting out Riley's feelings was wrong. Each of these kids at one point or another have all publicly humiliated one another in the name of friendship or good intentions. They were ALL wrong but their hearts were in the right place.**

 **We don't actually know how Riley felt about Farkle's decision on New Year's because the writers chose to completely bypass that fallout and fast forward to Spring for Legacy but given the fact that Riley started this lie FOR MAYA and continued it FOR MAYA, I'm going to guess she was more outraged on MAYA's behalf than her own.**

 **Finally, the fish face is a thing between the girls that MAYA actually started at the beginning of season two after Riley kissed Lucas on their first date.**

 **So personally I don't see the supposed unfairness you claim is being displayed on the show in Riley's favor.**

 **I do appreciate your readership and I hope that it will continue but I will not allow any of the characters to be vilified unless it's due to the nature of the story and something I personally have made them do. Even then I will only allow their actions to be slandered.**

 **Now without further adieu, enjoy! ;)**

Lucas sat in history class fiddling with his pencil and occasionally stealing glances over at Riley, who seemed engrossed in her own thoughts. For the first time in months he felt hopeful. Riley wasn't going on any more dates with Charlie, and Lucas finally understood how he had lost her to begin with.

He felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Farkle was right when he said that Lucas already had all the information he needed to solve this one. It had been staring him in the face from almost the beginning. He had known how terribly insecure she was, how inferior she felt to her "cooler" best friend. Yet somehow it had never occurred to him that she would believe what everyone else was saying about him and Maya or what they were saying about him and her. She had been afraid that she was losing him while he thought she knew that he was completely hers.

Why had he just assumed that they would go to the semi-formal together? They weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend. They were both free to go with anyone they wanted, but the only girl he had wanted to go with was Riley. Had he just asked her to go with him they wouldn't be here right now. She would never have doubted him to the point of giving up on him and they would be going to the upcoming valentines dance together.

Maybe they still could?

It was his assumption of them going together that had reaffirmed her fears and allowed them to take hold. He and Maya had agreed that, whatever they were at this point, the one thing they definitely weren't was exclusive. Riley wasn't seeing anyone else and as far as he knew no one had asked her yet. Hypothetically speaking he could ask her...

What if she said no?

She had made it very clear ever since Texas that she didn't want to be with him, not that way. He was her brother. He was her friend. He was the first boy she had ever liked, but he wasn't who she wanted anymore. He was just starting to feel as if he had found his footing with her. They were finally talking again, really talking. Did he really want to risk losing that again because he couldn't accept that her feelings had changed?

What if they hadn't changed?

What if she hadn't woken up one morning and decided that she was over him? What if she had simply let him go because she thought that's what he had wanted? He knew that were the roles reversed, when the roles were reversed rather, he had done everything in his power to respect her choice and honor their friendship...even if it wasn't what he wanted. Was it possible she was doing the same, and if she was, what would she do once she learned that he still had feelings for her?

What if she said yes?

What would that mean for him and Riley? What would that mean for him and Maya? How could he convince Riley that he was worth the risk, that he wouldn't hurt her, when she believed that something had happened between him and her best friend? He could assure her that his feelings for her were still present but he couldn't explain his feelings for Maya yet. Whatever they were, they were still there too. How could he possibly commit to one or the other knowing that he felt something for both?

Maya sat in front of him, once again staring down at her hand and twisting her ring around her finger. What kind of best friend was she? She had kept her supposed revelation about Lucas from Riley, only to realize that she had known all along. She had known that Maya was holding back and never once let on that she knew...kind of like Maya was doing now.

Before she had an excuse, not much of one maybe, but she had genuinely believed that Riley thought of Lucas as a brother. She had assumed Riley was happy in her relationship with Charlie. She had thought they were still close enough to know what the other was thinking. Now all those beliefs and assumptions were gone. There was nothing protecting her from the cold, hard, truth.

Riley had lied to her, to everyone. Riley wasn't happy. Worst of all, Riley was slowly becoming a stranger to Maya and Maya to her.

And all of this had come to pass over them both having stupid feelings for one stupid boy. Okay, Lucas wasn't stupid, but apparently he was blind too. He still couldn't see Riley's deception any better than she originally had. Was it because he didn't want to or because he couldn't?

Now that she knew Riley wasn't happy, every day that she let this lie go on, she was hurting her. She was allowing Riley to hurt herself. Best friends weren't supposed to do that.

Still, she couldn't find it within herself to tell Lucas. It wasn't just that she was selfish, though she was willing to admit that was a possibility at this point. She wasn't sure that it was her secret to tell. Farkle had taken it upon himself to make her secret his and it hadn't helped him any. He had then passed it on to Maya and so far it had only brought her grief. Wouldn't telling Lucas only do the same for him? Riley didn't want him to know how she felt. What good would it do him to know if she didn't want him to? Wouldn't that only hurt him more?

And what if there was something between her and Huckleberry? What if they could be happy together? Riley had no intention of claiming him. Would it really be so wrong for her to accept the gift that her best friend was offering her? Wouldn't it be selfish not to, given what Riley had done to make this even a possibility?

Wouldn't that logic go both ways though, if Riley was right and Maya had stepped back from the very beginning? Wasn't Riley being ungrateful to make all those possible sacrifices for nothing? Should she have just accepted Lucas with a smile instead of pushing him away and sending him back to Maya?

All these endless what ifs and maybes were driving her near the brink of insanity. She needed to find a way to put an end to this once and for all.

But how?

Riley had been playing and replaying every moment in her mind since their conversation in the window that day. No matter how many times she combed through the facts things just weren't adding up. This had all started with her and Maya; not her and Lucas, not Maya and Lucas. It was their drifting apart that had truly caused this entire mess.

Maya had pretended to be Riley...she still wasn't sure how she had expected that to fix what was bothering her and Farkle at the time, but in the end they had come back...sort of. It was during her time as Riley that she had deduced, very incorrectly, that Riley viewed Lucas as a brother. She had then purposefully kept that information from Riley. Maya didn't seem to want her to know so she pretended not to. Maybe that had been a mistake.

There were some moments after that where she'd had suspicions and theories that perhaps her best friend wasn't as uninterested in Lucas as she claimed to be, but she hadn't really known for sure until they were in Texas. She had surmised that Maya couldn't watch him ride Tombstone because she cared about him, because she liked him. She teased him because she liked him. Maya had neither confirmed nor denied these things to her, but something had happened between them in Texas so they had to be true didn't they?

But then how was it possible that she hadn't been able to read Maya in the closet if she had read her correctly that day?

Maya had pushed Charlie onto Riley, first by telling him that she didn't want to work with Lucas on the paper, and again when she had invited him to their party as her date. Was that really so different from what she had done with Riley and Lucas though? Wasn't that just Maya's way of trying to help? She hadn't thought anything of it at the time until she had started thinking about all the little things Charlie said and did that didn't add up either.

She was afraid to hope that she had been wrong somehow. Obviously she hated what was happening between her and Maya but at least if she was wrong then that meant her best friend didn't actually want to date her ex unofficial boyfriend, or was she simply seeing what she wanted to see?

What if that was what they both wanted though?

If Lucas really did want to be with Maya and Maya wanted to be with Lucas, who was she to stand in the way? There was something between them. Maybe that didn't know what it was yet but everyone else could see it, Riley included. Once she had been made aware she couldn't help but wonder how she had ever missed it. Had she simply not seen or had she not wanted to see it?

Farkle had told himself that Riley's secret was no longer his responsibility. Riley had been given multiple opportunities to come clean and had chosen not to, but Maya knew now and actually believed him. Surely they could take matters from here? With so many people now involved it couldn't be long before this lie finally came to its natural end, could it?

The bell rang and class was dismissed. Everyone quietly gathered their belongings and emptied out into the hall.

Riley stopped at her locker to exchange books and noticed that Lucas was lingering close by, watching her. She smiled at him, wondering why he was looking at her so strangely.

"Hi," she said peeking at him from the other side of her locker door.

"Hi," he replied as he fidgeted with the shoulder strap of his bag. It was a nervous habit and no matter what label she was calling him at the moment, Riley always made him nervous.

She giggled at his response and silly grin.

"Hi," she said again and his entire face illuminated.

That was their thing and he was choosing to take that as a sign.

"So...has Yogi showed up on skates to ask you on any more dates," he asked trying to sound casual.

She scrunched her face in confusion. Yogi was dating Darby and had been since spring of last year. Why would Lucas think that he would cheat on Darby by asking her...oh. Yogi on skates. He was asking about Charlie.

"Nope, no banners, flowers, or disco balls either," she said with a smile. She was genuinely surprised and relieved that Charlie Gardner had disappeared from her life so quietly. She still had to see him in class but they never spoke. He barely even looked at her anymore.

She glanced up at Lucas and couldn't help notice that he looked...different somehow. She knew it wasn't his clothes she had seen him wear that same blue shirt at least a dozen times. She didn't mind though. He looked great in blue. He looked great in everything. Even a genius like Smackle couldn't deny that.

"So no big productions asking you to the dance yet?" He was feeling the situation out. She had said hi twice. She had smiled at him, really smiled...the way she used to. And she had told him Gardner wasn't sniffing around. So far he liked where this conversation was heading.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she closed her locker door. That was something she did a lot, usually when she was nervous or uncomfortable. He couldn't help but hope that he was making her nervous. He had missed being able to make her nervous.

She shook her head, "no productions or plans of any kind so far."

She wasn't sure if it was possible but if it was his smile had somehow widened.

This was it. This was really happening. He was going to ask her.

Suddenly Maya strolled up, hands in her pockets and bounced right in between him and Riley.

"So Huckleberry; you, me, Valentine's dance. What do you say?"

Was this really happening right now? He had been seconds away from asking Riley and now here was Maya asking him.

"Actually Maya-" he was about to explain, but as usual he never got the chance.

"I figure this is a good way to figure out what we are once and for all. We go, we talk, we dance. Whatever happens, happens. At least we'll finally have some answers." She explained.

His gaze traveled from the beautiful blonde in front of him to the gorgeous brunette behind her and back again. A few months ago he could have asked Riley to this dance and she'd have eagerly said yes. A few months ago he could tell her that she was the only girl that he ever thought about and the only one he wanted. He couldn't tell her that now with one hundred percent certainty. Texas has made that impossible.

Whatever he and Riley had been she had ended it that night. He had started something else, with someone else. He hadn't meant to, it had just sort of happened, but intended or not he and Maya were already in the middle of something. It wouldn't have been fair to any of them for him to ask Riley, no matter how much he wanted to. Until he figured out what this thing between him and Maya was he had no right to go trying to start up anything with Riley or anyone else for that matter. It wouldn't be cheating since he and Maya weren't official but it would still be wrong. All three of them deserved better than that.

"Okay, let's do it," he agreed, though his smile didn't seem nearly as bright as it had a moment ago.

Riley stood behind Maya, watching Maya prove once again what she had already known. For the tiniest split second she had thought he might ask her, and despite everything she had done to push him away she had found herself wanting him to. Of course he was going with Maya. She was his new unofficial thing...Riley had made it so by forcing them together alone at the campfire. She couldn't be mad at Lucas. He was only doing what she told him to do. She couldn't even be mad at Maya. The blonde had no idea what kind of torture this was for her. That was one secret she had never shared. She had helped create her own personal nightmare and now she had no choice but to smile her way through it.

"Sorry guys, but I have to get to class," she mumbled as she excused herself.

He wanted to run after her; to tell her that it wasn't what it looked like. Except that he couldn't do that because it was exactly what she thought. Maya had asked him to the dance and he had said yes. He couldn't promise her that nothing would happen because he didn't know whether or not that was true. He had never expected the moment in Texas to happen but it had. Who was to say whether or not it could happen again? Wasn't that the whole point of this experiment, to find out what would happen between them left to their own devices?

"We're really doing this?" She asked incredulously. Even though it had been her plan part of her hadn't expected him to actually say yes.

"Yes, we are," he said matter-of-factly. This felt more like a test than a date so far.

"Okay then," she agreed, dragging out each vowel. "See ya later, Huckleberry." She said before turning and heading to class.

The Valentine's dance was supposed to be the most romantic event on the school calendar. If anything was going to happen between them, this would be the place for it to happen. That was her self-proclaimed deadline. The dance was one week away. By the end of that night she would finally have her answers where Lucas was concerned. Only then could she make an educated decision about what she was going to do. In one week, one way or another, this limbo would be coming to an end.


	63. Chapter 63- Secret Weapon

**Hello everyone, thank you so much for all of your patience and kind wishes. I am back and we are in the home stretch of "the triangle that isn't" my friends! The real question is what happens next?**

Maya hadn't put much thought or consideration into all their other so called dates, but this one was different. She was genuinely nervous for this one. It wasn't just any date, this was THE date; the one that would finally tell them what they meant to one another. She could end up walking away from this dance as either his girlfriend or his friend. Both possible outcomes stirred her insides. Whatever happened, it was going to be a big moment.

She couldn't help but wonder if Lucas was having similar thoughts. Was he just as anxious as she was for some kind of resolution?

The dance was Friday night. In less than a week everything was going to change again. Sometimes it seemed like that's all they did was adapt and re-adapt to new situations. Every time she thought she had a sense where things were headed something would happen to completely throw her off again.

She walked into Topanga's bakery and watched as her mother finished her closing duties for the evening. She wanted to talk to her mom, she just wasn't sure how to do so. They had only recently began building a relationship since she had learned the truth about her father, they'd only had one conversation void of any deception so far.

"Hey mom," she greeted with a small wave of her hand.

Katie turned and faced her daughter. She had known for months that something had been going on with Maya, but so far she'd been less than forthcoming.

"Oh, hi baby girl!" She said with an enthusiastic smile.

It shouldn't be this hard to talk to her mom; to ask for things that normal mother and daughter relationships naturally had. She remembered climbing through Riley's window the night of their double first date that wasn't really a date for her, and watching Topanga help Riley get ready. Maya hadn't had that. Her eighty four percent that night had been entirely her own doing. Katie had been working at the diner that night, like all the other special occasions before.

But things were different now. Her mom worked for the Mathews family, which meant better pay and better hours.

Maybe, just maybe?

"Hey mom, there's this dance coming up this week, and I uh, kind of have a...a date," she hesitated.

Katie had been wiping off the counter, but as Maya had said the word date her hands had naturally ceased as she attempted to make sense of where this conversation was going. She had known that Maya had an interest in boys, but they had never really discussed it before. It was but one of the many topics they had never talked about.

"A date," she repeated, her radiant smile falling from her face.

"Yeah," Maya said milking the one syllable for all it was worth. "I was hoping you could help me pick out a dress? Maybe help me get ready that night?"

Katie fought the tears that had sprung to her eyes at her daughter's request. Finally, after months of patience, she was being invited into Maya's world. It seemed like such a small thing; a natural thing, for a mother and daughter to do. They had never had that though. In her efforts to shield Maya from what she didn't have Katie had accidentally deprived her of the one parent she did have, and herself of truly knowing her child.

"I would love that baby girl," she replied, her voice laced with emotion.

The young blonde smiled in response. She had spent most of her life feeling as though she had only half of her mom. Most days she still did, but for this one event she would get a tiny taste of what it meant to have all of someone.

"I'm guessing you'll need a dress? We can go shopping when I get off work tomorrow." She offered.

She couldn't remember the last time she had gone dress shopping with her mom, if she ever had for that matter, but she was excited to find out what it was like.

"Great!" She chirped brightly, if she hadn't known any better she would swear her best friend's voice had just come out of her mouth.

"You can invite Riley if you want. She'll probably need a dress too, right?"

She knew Riley and Maya did everything together and she couldn't count all the family activities the Mathews had included her daughter in over the years. Now that she had the opportunity to return the favor she wanted to do so. To her surprise Maya didn't seem to like the idea.

She chewed on her bottom lip before mumbling, "I don't think she's going. She broke up with the guy she was sort of dating."

"That's too bad," Katie said sincerely. Riley was a good girl and a great friend to her daughter. First breakups were always hard, and for it to be so close to Valentine's Day? That only made it harder.

"Yeah," was all Maya could manage to say. How could she explain that Riley had broken up with Charlie because she still had feelings for Lucas; the same Lucas Maya was going to the dance with? How could she explain that she was grateful Riley wasn't going because that would give her and Lucas the chance to figure out their feelings for one another without him being distracted? Was it really so wrong that she wanted to find out the answer to that question?

No.

Was it wrong that she wanted it so badly she was going out with the guy she knew her best friend had feelings for?

Possibly.

But it was what Riley wanted too, otherwise she wouldn't have lied about her feelings and revealed Maya's, right?

Unbeknownst to Maya, Katie already had a pretty good understanding of what her daughter was currently going through. After some deliberation, Shawn had given her a rundown of their previous text conversation and asked her if she thought he had done the right thing. She hadn't exactly been thrilled about his "liking someone with your body" comment and he refused to tell her what he had told Maya about her, but all in all, she felt that he had handled the situation very well.

She wasn't sure if she could say the same for her daughter at the moment…

The fact that she was taking her shopping to pick out a dress to wear for her date with the same boy her best friend liked was very concerning, but it was her first invitation to be an active participant in Maya's life and she was not about to miss out on it.

The next day Katie got off work right after school let out and she and Maya went dress shopping. Two hours and four shops later the blonde was still in the dressing room trying on different options. She had somehow managed to find something wrong with every single one thus far. Finally, after Katie had lost track of how many had been tried on, she heard her daughter squeal from the dressing room.

The young blonde came out wearing a 1950's style halter dress. It was black with white polka dots and had red roses imprinted all over it and a black belt around the waist and a flared out skirt. Somehow the moment she had put it on she had known; this was the dress. It was perfect for the dance and for her.

Katie had hoped that she would open up during the day about the situation with her and her friends but it never happened. So instead Katie smiled happily, and paid for the dress and matching red pumps, without a word on the subject. She kept reminding herself that trust takes time to build and that she and Maya simply weren't there yet, but they would get there. Right now her daughter had a tendency to run to Shawn or either one of the Mathews' for guidance. She wondered if Maya would ever really come to her.

Thursday and Friday were business as usual. Now that Maya and Lucas had agreed to go the dance together the group had returned to its new default of barely speaking. Farkle sat back watching the spectacle unfold. He had thought that by telling Maya the truth he would be ending this situation. He could understand her choices whenever she believed that Riley only saw Lucas as a brother, but now that she knew the truth he didn't understand what she was doing. It had never occurred to him that she too would sit on this lie and let it grow, but that seemed to be exactly what she was doing.

He had tried to get Riley to speak up on the subject and she simply refused. She insisted that if neither of them had seen it by now it was because they didn't want to, and she wouldn't be the one to force it onto them. He hadn't had the heart to tell her that Maya believed him and was still planning to go out with Lucas. Their friendship was already on rocky terrain and he wasn't sure what a hit like that would do to them. The harder he tried to bring everyone together, the more things seemed to fall apart.

The longer this lie continued the less he recognized any of his friends. Lucas had become frustrated and short tempered, not to mention a little possessive…at least where Riley was concerned. He wondered if his friend would have the same reaction to someone spending time with Maya as he had when Gardner was making moves on Riles. The old Lucas would never have been so indecisive where the girls were concerned, or rather so inactive.

Before Texas, Lucas would have given some impassioned speech about being who you're meant to be and following your heart. He would have followed his, wherever it lead. Maya would have read Riley like an open book and forced her to come clean. She'd have bay windowed her for sure. If that hadn't worked she'd have-.

"That's it," Farkle mumbled under his breath in Algebra.

He had tried steering each of them in the direction toward the truth but none of them had gotten there yet. He'd thrown out ultimatums and confessions to no avail. Riley and Maya clearly had no intention of ending this lie. They were each too close to the truth to realize what it was doing to the friendships, but Farkle could see it and he couldn't allow it to continue.

He anxiously waited until class was over and watched the students begin to exit. Riley wordlessly gathered her belongings and turned to face Lucas and Maya.

"Have fun tonight," she said with a small, sad smile; the kind that made Maya feel guilty for not seeing the difference sooner.

"Thanks," she responded, though her expression was equally strained.

Lucas couldn't pry his eyes from the brunette. He'd agreed to go with Maya and figure things out between them. He knew that was the right thing to do, but ever since he had done it he couldn't help but wish he hadn't. For a tiny second they had seemed like them again...and then it was gone and her walls were back up. He hated those walls and the distance they put between the two of them.

All he could do was give her a half hearted smile in return and watch her walk away from him yet again.

Once both Lucas and Riley were out of the room Farkle latched onto Maya's arm.

"I need that," he said pointing to her hand.

The blonde looked down at the item in question.

"Sorry Sparkles, that was a one time offer only. No deal."

He didn't want to play dirty or hurt her feelings but he needed that ring and he knew she would never go along with what he had planned. He had been willing to betray Riley's confidence in order to reveal the truth. He couldn't say he loved them equally unless he was willing to do the same now, with Maya.

"You aren't seriously going to wear Riley's friendship ring on your date with Lucas, are you?" He didn't mean to sound so disgusted but it just came out that way.

She shrugged at his question. "I did before," she stated nonchalantly.

"You didn't know before!" He spat, hating himself more with every word.

She glanced down at her ring again. She always wore it, ever since her birthday when Riley had given to her. The one time she had taken it off was when she had felt unworthy of the title it represented and Farkle had been the one to slide it back on her finger. Why was he trying to take it back now?

"You said that it was MY friendship ring and I was still her best friend." She reminded him.

She just kept forcing him to say things he didn't really want to.

"That was before I knew you were going to ignore Riley's feelings and ask him out anyway."

She reeled back as if physically harmed by his words, especially since he wasn't saying anything she hadn't already accused herself of.

"So I should just ignore my feelings instead? Is that it?"

He didn't want either of them to ignore their feelings. He just wanted them to be out in the open so they could deal with them accordingly. That was the only chance their friendships had of surviving.

"No, you kept secrets from her and she kept secrets from you and now you're both keeping secrets from Lucas. None of this is right or fair. Did either of you even think about what he wanted when you were making decisions that affect him too? I know you know what this lie is doing to her. How can you ignore that? How can you call yourself part of the Riley protection squad or her best friend at this point, when you aren't even trying to stop from hurting her?"

She was close to breaking down...which meant close to giving in...

"And whoever protected me Farkle? While everyone was so worried about Riley's feelings who tried to keep me from getting hurt?"

"She did! She still is! Why do you think she did all this? Not for her; she did it for you, to make you happy. All she thinks about is your feelings and you can't even factor hers in?! I was wrong Maya. You don't deserve that ring."

His brain was already concocting a million different elaborate apologies to make up for what he had just done.

"Fine, you think you're so much better, then take it!" She insisted as she jerked the ring from her finger and practically threw it at him before stomping away angrily.

He hated hurting her, just like he'd hated forcing Riley on New Year's, but if his plan worked it would all be worth it in the end.


	64. Chapter 64- Ring Power!

**A/N: The beginning of the end...of the dreaded triangle! Love you all! Thanks for everything!**

Maya was unusually quiet when she arrived home from school. As much as she didn't want to, she couldn't stop thinking about the things Farkle had said to her, or how naked her finger felt without her friendship ring. Maybe he was right and she was a horrible best friend? She had never intended to hurt Riley or anyone else. She had planned to ignore her feelings at least until she could figure them out, but Riley and Farkle had both zeroed in on them in Texas, and forced her to deal with them before she could even make sense of them.

They were just as responsible for this catastrophe as she was, weren't they?

"Are you okay baby girl?" Katie asked, noticing that something seemed to be on her daughter's mind.

Maya just shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it.

"I was just thinking about Riley."

Katie translated that to mean Maya was probably feeling guilty about going to the dance with Lucas.

"Do you still want my help getting ready tonight?" she asked timidly.

Part of her was hoping that Maya had changed her mind about the evening. It would certainly be the best thing for everyone involved if she did, but a small selfish part of her was hoping that Maya would say yes. This was as close as they had ever been to a real mother, daughter relationship and she wanted to keep building on that.

"Yeah," the young blonde replied with a small smile. "Can you help me figure out what to do with my hair?"

Katie spent the next hour meticulously curling every strand of hair on her daughter's head and pinning them to the top of her head in loose cascading waves. It was the perfect offset to her dress. Maya instinctively kept rubbing the finger where her ring was no longer sitting. It felt strange to be without it. Being without her ring was like being without Riley. It just felt wrong somehow.

Her mother applied some tiny accents of makeup; some eyeshadow to make her blue eyes pop, and a sheer neutral lip gloss. Maya hardly recognized the girl staring back at her from the mirror.

"Wow," she whispered as she examined her own reflection.

If Lucas didn't look at her the way he looked at Riley tonight, he was never going to.

She slipped on her dress and matching pumps, looking like a starlet out of classic Hollywood.

"If only I'd thought about jewelry," she muttered under her breath.

Katie disappeared for a moment and returned to the bedroom with earrings and a matching necklace for Maya to wear that evening.

'Whatever happens, happens,' she reminded herself.

Riley came home and headed straight for her bedroom. She didn't really want to be there alone, imagining Lucas and Maya at the dance together, but what else could she do? She pulled out her notebook and her headphones ready to disappear into her own little world; one a million miles away from this one, when she heard someone coming through the window.

She slumped in frustration. It had taken every ounce of energy she could muster just to wish them a fun evening. She didn't have it in her to help Maya get ready or have another close call with Lucas. She just wanted a little peace and that wasn't something she could get in either one of their presence at the moment.

"Riley?"

"Farkle, what are you doing here?" she asked incredulously.

"Bay windowing you, right now!" he demanded.

Usually he would have gone about this differently but he was impatient and lacked the time for subtlety.

"You can't bay window me," she argued.

He pointed to the seat at the window.

"If Lucas can bay window you then so can I, now sit please."

She huffed defiantly but did as she was asked.

"What is this about Farkle?"

She had a feeling that she already knew the answer but she really didn't want to know if she was right. They'd had this conversation several times over the last few months and her answer hadn't changed. She was not, under any circumstance, telling Lucas the truth about Texas, nor was she sharing that information with Maya.

Farkle glanced around the room and something caught his eye.

"You bought a dress for the dance." He stated.

She glanced over at the garment hanging on her closet door. It had been purchased back when she had been "dating" Charlie…before she had realized what he was and put an end to things. For one silly moment she had let herself hope maybe she'd still end up getting to wear it, but that hadn't happened. She would have offered it to Maya, but it wasn't really her style.

"That was when I thought I was going with Charlie," she explained.

"But you kept it anyway," he observed. "Were you hoping to wear it with someone else?"

Of course he knew. He always knew.

She shrugged, "just too lazy to return it."

He nodded in response. "Good, you can wear it tonight." He said matter-of-factly.

She looked at him bewildered.

"What are you talking about, Farkle?"

He took a deep breath, preparing for the fight he knew she was getting ready to put up.

"I'm talking about you wearing your dress to the dance tonight. Lucas and Maya went together in order to make a decision about the situation we're all in, but they don't have all the information and therefore cannot make a properly informed decision. You are going to go to the dance and tell them the truth."

She shook her head violently in denial.

"I will do nothing of the sort!" she declared.

Farkle pulled his secret weapon from his pocket for her to see.

"Ring Power!" he said triumphantly.

Riley stared down at his hand, a million questions running through her mind. Farkle had Maya's friendship ring? Which meant that she had taken it off… Lucas was bay windowing her, Farkle was ring powering her. Those were supposed to be exclusive to her friendship with Maya. No wonder they couldn't read one another anymore and their friendship was such a mess. Everyone else seemed to be stepping into their shoes in one way or another.

"How did you-"

"It doesn't matter how I got it. I have it, and as the best friend in tandem holding the ring I am ring powering you, which if I recall correctly there's a rule stating if the holder of the ring says ring power than the other party has no choice but to do what they're being told. So you, Riley Mathews, are going to put on that dress, go to the dance, and end this lie once and for all."

Riley was stunned. Technically, he was right. He had the ring and he had ring powered her. If she adhered to the rules of the ring, the rules she and Maya had made together, then she had no choice but to go and do as he decreed. However, Maya would probably hate her for lying and even more so for interfering where Lucas was concerned. In order to respect her friendship with Maya she had to disrespect her friendship with Maya? How had they let things get so complicated?

Lucas stood by the door of the gym waiting for his date to arrive. He was waiting for Maya. Maya was his date. No matter how many times or different ways he constructed that sentence it just felt weird.

"Looking for someone Huckleberry?" she asked as she tapped him on the shoulder.

She'd taken the side door and snuck up behind him, trying to work up the nerve for whatever facing him tonight would bring.

He turned around to face her and found himself surprised at his own reaction.

The girl was beautiful, there was no denying that, especially tonight.

"You look great," he managed to mumble.

She smiled at his compliment and cocked her head towards the door.

"Shall we do this thing?"

He nodded, unsure what might come out if he opened his mouth. It felt strange not to trust himself in this manner. He didn't want to another campfire moment to take place, but standing there next to her, admiring the way she looked in that dress, he couldn't promise himself it wouldn't. He wasn't sure what that meant.

"So, uh, what do we do now?" he turned to her for guidance.

This had been her idea, after all.

"We could dance," she suggested as she gestured to the crowded floor with her hand palm up in the air.

They bounced around to the music until it began to slow in rhythm.

Now what were they supposed to do?

She placed her hands on his shoulders just as she had seen Riley do at their seventh grade dance when he'd worn that ridiculous cowboy getup. He followed suit, both of them keeping one another an arm's length apart.

"We could try talking," he offered.

"We could," she agreed hesitantly. Talking never seemed to get them very far.

They stood there in silence a few moments, swaying to the music.

"What do we talk about?" he asked curiously.

They hung out all the time. Surely, they had managed to have at least one real conversation before this whole thing started.

"I don't know…we could say stuff we know, about each other…about what we think of each other…or how we feel?"

That was what they had both come here to figure out wasn't it?

"Okay," he agreed, trying to think of something that he knew for sure he thought or felt for the girl in front of him.

"Well, I know that you're beautiful. Anyone with eyes can see that, especially tonight."

She'd heard once that he had called her "blonde beauty," but this was the first time he'd ever said anything resembling it to her face. Only one person had ever said anything remotely similar to her, and she would be lying if she said it didn't make her feel good to hear it.

"Thanks Huckleberry. I enjoy looking at you too," she admitted.

He had always been cute. That was impossible to miss. She hadn't felt the earth move or the stars align when she'd seen him on the subway, but she had noticed that he was fun to look at…especially when he was dripping wet or upset about something.

He nodded, unsure of what to say. It always made him uncomfortable when people commented on his looks, even if it was in a positive manner.

"I know that you're an amazing artist," He had been one of the privileged few to see her very first piece and watch her improve with each one since. She was very talented and she deserved to have that acknowledged more often.

She sat there wracking her brain for something else to say. She'd never realized how little she really knew about him. She knew he was cute. She knew he was good at everything. She knew he didn't like that everyone thought he was perfect. She knew he was kicked out of school for a year, but she only knew that because of Zay. She knew that he wanted to be a veterinarian and that he could ride a bull for four seconds, but she only knew that because of Riley…

"I know that you're a really good guy." She had said that before, by the campfire when he had apologized and asked her if she liked him. "You're always trying to do the right thing and take care of people," it was one of the things he and Riley had in common; one of the reasons she had seen them as brother and sister instead of boyfriend and girlfriend.

He thought for a moment; he'd already talked about the physical and mental aspects of who she was to him…it was time to begin digging into the murky area that was emotional, and he was a little afraid of what might come out of that section.

"I know that I want you to be happy." He had said that before, when they had threatened to cut the art program. He'd gotten downright angry at the idea of her not being able to do what she loved anymore. It had been one of those confusing moments that made her see him differently though she still couldn't explain why.

She chewed on her bottom lip a moment before taking the first step into the deep end.

"I know that I want you to be part of my life. When we were in Texas and I saw that bull and what it could do…I realized why you were so afraid, and I was afraid for you…because I want you safe and here. Because you're just as important to me as Farkle or Riley and I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're one of the handful of people that really cares about me and one of the handful of people that I really care about."

Lucas was completely taken aback by the moment.

"Wow…that kind of makes up for everything else you've said for the last year and a half." He said with a smile.

"I know that you mean a lot to me too. I know I've said that before, but one of the reasons all of this scares me so much is because we're all such great friends and I don't want anything to ruin that or change it. And I know you don't either. I know that you haven't had it easy and letting people in is harder for you so the fact that you've done that with me…it means a lot."

She took a deep breath and winced as she "ripped the band aid off."

"I know you still have feelings for Riley."

Lucas suddenly reeled backwards in shock. That was the last thing he had expected her to say tonight.

"Come on, Lucas. It's not like you even try to hide it, and if so you're not doing a good job. I had to kick you just to get your attention on our date, you did your weird little "hi thing" right before Christmas, and you lingered in the doorway on New Year's with her for at least a solid five minutes," she pointed out just a few of the ways he had been beyond obvious, each one making him feel more guilty than the last.

He'd thought he'd done a better job of concealing his feelings on that subject but apparently he hadn't. He couldn't deny that he still had feelings for Riley…but he couldn't say that he had never strayed from those feelings either.

"I know that I almost kissed you," he said bluntly, unveiling the elephant that had been in the room ever since that night in Texas. Never once had they discussed what had happened with one another, but if they were ever going to make sense of what they felt in that moment then they had to address it.

"I'm still not exactly sure how or why it happened but it did and we can't pretend it didn't or that it doesn't change anything. I had your face in my hands, I was looking into your eyes, and leaning in, preparing to kiss you-"

"But you didn't…"

She had spent the last several months trying to understand what had happened in that moment. It had always made sense to her what had happened. What she had never been able to wrap her brain around was what hadn't happened that night; why he had pulled back. Listening to him describe that night it was as if the fog had lifted and suddenly everything had become clear…at least for the moment. She still wasn't sure how she felt about him exactly, but he had told her exactly where they stood without even realizing it himself.

"You almost kissed me, Lucas. But you didn't…because of Riley.

She might like Lucas. He might even like her back, but his heart and soul…that was Riley's, and as long as she had that he could never grow to love anyone else.

"You wouldn't let anything happen between us…not then and not tonight."

She was chewing on her bottom lip again trying to figure out how to tell him this next part without making him hate her.

"I know Riley doesn't like you as a brother," she blurted it out before she could think about the consequences.


	65. Chapter 65- Heart and Soul

**A/N: Lucas Knows! What happens now? Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. It's far from over. ;)**

Lucas stood there immobile, his brain working a thousand miles an hour to reconcile everything he had known for the last few months with the sentence that had just fallen from Maya's lips.

"I know Riley doesn't like you as a brother."

The words rolled around his cerebral cortex as he repeated them over and over again in his head.

'Riley doesn't like me as a brother…'

'Riley doesn't like me as a brother?'

'Riley doesn't like me as a brother!'

"What?" It was the only response his brain could translate to his mouth.

Maya began to shrink under his gaze as she fidgeted with the spot her ring would have been had she not come up with this awful idea to test him in the first place. She realized now that's exactly what she had been doing. She knew that he still had feelings for Riley, but had somehow gotten it into her head that if she could make another moment like their previous one happen that it meant he wanted her too…only now she knew that he would never let that happen again. He hadn't even let it happen the first time.

She took a shaky breath as she groped for the right words.

"Riley doesn't think of you as a brother, Lucas. I don't think she ever did."

From the moment Riley had uttered that awful word his head and heart had pleaded for her to take it back. No matter how many times he'd played with the concept in his mind or out loud he couldn't make it true. The idea of Riley and him as siblings was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just wasn't possible.

He'd tried to tell her that so many times that night, but she refused to hear him. He'd started to say it on the dance floor but she had told him that she didn't want for them to go out and then not like each other anymore, though he honestly couldn't imagine a day when he could ever not like her. She kept talking about how this way they would always be part of one another's lives. They would always be there to talk to each other and care what the other thought, as if they hadn't already had that. If there was one thing he was still certain of, it was that Riley Mathews would always have a place in his life and his heart…whatever that place turned out to be.

He'd almost told her all of that and more at the campfire as she was walking away from him, but she hadn't given him the chance. Instead she had glanced over at Maya and told her that she had a right to her feelings…her feelings for him.

Was this what Riley had been hiding from him? From everyone? She had never looked at him as a brother? They were the same words he had imagined hearing a thousand different times, a million different ways, but he had never imagined them coming from Maya instead of Riley.

"I don't understand. How do you know this?"

That was a really complicated question with a million different answers. She could see it whenever Riley looked at him. She could hear it in her voice when his name came up and the way she talked about him. It was why she hadn't been able to offer Maya advice on how to act with him on dates. Now that she had taken the blinders off it seemed so blatantly obvious to her where her best friend's heart had always been.

"Because I'm the one that put that idea in her head, not intentionally. I was pretending to be her and it just came out and I thought that was how she felt, but I didn't say anything because she acted like she hadn't heard me, but I guess she did and when I freaked out in Texas she decided to step back. I only figured it out when I realized we can't read each other anymore."

She decided to leave out the part where Farkle had told her on New Year's but she had been convinced he was wrong because she knew Riley better. That just seemed redundant.

A strange cocktail of relief and anger began to bubble to the surface.

Riley didn't like him as a brother. Those were the words that he had been praying to hear. For months he had been battling between respecting her feelings and following his heart. Each day he had given in to both in one way or another. He had refused the title of brother, yet he couldn't stop her from going out with Charlie. He had sat there silently fuming while Gardner played nice for Riley's sake, all the while tormenting him behind her back. He'd smiled when he felt like throwing up and celebrated what he thought was her happiness with someone else, even while he was slowly dying inside.

He had fought for their friendship, for their bond, because that was the one thing that he felt he had the right to fight for. He'd told himself over and over again that it wasn't her fault that her feelings had changed and it wouldn't be fair to try and make her want him again. He would be whatever she wanted him to be, so long as it meant they were still in one another's lives.

But he hadn't been able to give her up, not completely. He had still stolen little glances and occasionally slipped up and said things that revealed the nature of his feelings toward her. He had tried his best to accept what she was offering and let that be enough but it wasn't. No matter how much of herself she gave him, he always wanted more. There were times he even managed to convince himself that she still wanted him too…

Riley didn't like him as a brother…

Which meant that he hadn't been crazy all those times that he thought she felt something too. All those moments that he had been too afraid to believe, all those times he had gotten his hopes up; he'd been right all along. She had been just as caught up in those moments together as he had been, feeling all the same things he was.

He hadn't lost her.

That thought seemed too good to be true…because it was.

The truth was much worse.

He hadn't lost Riley.

She had given him up willingly. She had traded him to her best friend like…whatever girls swapped back and forth between one another. How could she do that?

'Because she was convinced that you had fallen for her best friend,' his brain reminded him.

It had taken him far too long to come to that conclusion, and it had broken his heart when he'd realized how little faith she'd had in his feelings for her. There had been signs; bright, bold, obvious signs that she was doubting what they had and he had somehow missed them all…

Now that he realized what she had done, that sadness was morphing into frustration that had been building since the day he'd ridden Tombstone.

Was that really the kind of person she thought he was?

He had never pursued Maya or anyone else for that matter, not until she had told him they would never be together. Even then he hadn't, not really.

The song had ended and everyone was jumping up and down to the beat around them as Lucas did his best to catch up with the implications of Maya's confession.

Maya had known the truth…

"So you knew that Riley still has feelings for me and you didn't tell me?"

She had kind of hoped he wouldn't figure that part out. Please don't let him hate her for this.

"She didn't seem to want you to know," she mumbled, her blue eyes pleading with him to understand, but he didn't.

"Then why are you telling me now?"

'I should have told you the second I figured it out.'

Farkle had known.

'She said she told you!'

That's what she was supposed to have told him on New Year's Eve? If she had come out and told him she still had feelings for him, _that_ , he would have remembered!

'I thought that you liked me too.'

'I do…I, I mean I did.'

She had said it. She had instantly tried to take it back but she had said it. He'd wanted to believe that slip of tenses meant something so badly…but then he had walked out to find her with Charlie yet again and he'd walked away without so much as a word on the subject. Why hadn't he ever confronted her? Why had he been so quick to give up on her and believe the worst?

Because he was afraid of being wrong...

He'd never been so happy to know that Riley could lie…but the fact that she had lied to him, what was he supposed to do with that?

The blonde sighed as she tried to run her hands through her hair, only to find that it was all pinned up on top of her head.

"Because…ever since I found out I've been so concerned with what Riley wants and what I want, I never considered what you want, and what you want is her."

He couldn't deny that. He wanted to be more than a brother or just a friend to her with every fiber of his being…but something had happened between him and Maya that night. Could he really just ignore that? Could she?

"What about us? Obviously some part of me wants you too, or what happened that night wouldn't have happened."

Shawn's words of wisdom came echoing back to her.

"Maybe some part of you does, but not the right parts. Even now, it's taking everything in you not to go running to her now that you know, isn't it?"

She was right, but he couldn't just leave her standing here alone on the dance floor.

"Maya, I-"

She raised her hands to either side of his face and pulled him close to her.

"Are you thinking about kissing me right now?" she asked curtly.

"No…" he admitted apologetically, not wanting to hurt her.

"Then there's your answer Huckleberry," she said as she released his face.

She cocked her head toward the door "Now get out of here."

He smiled at her gesture and understanding. He had come here to define his relationship with Maya and now they had. Their unofficial thing had come to its natural end...which meant he was once again free to pursue whomever he chose. Only one girl came to mind...Riley.

She was the sunlight; bright and beautiful, and so radiant sometimes it hurt to watch her shine. She had a way of shedding light and warmth into even the darkest corners of his soul. She inspired him; to be better, to be more, not by demanding perfection, but by seeing the good in him even when he couldn't and believing in him when everyone else's faith, including his own, had wavered.

He'd been so afraid of losing her once she knew the truth about who he really was, or rather who he had been. For one fleeting moment he'd thought that she had only seen the illusion of Mr. Perfect and that was all she wanted. It was only later when he had gone over their conversation in the cafeteria that he realized what she had actually been saying. She wasn't angry for what he had done. She was angry with him for not trusting her enough to be honest with her.

In the end she had proven herself to be worthy of his trust and he'd found himself ashamed of the fact that he had ever doubted her. He'd promised himself never to do so again.

Therein lay his current dilemma.

He had never seen the truth staring him in the face because he had trusted Riley implicitly. Everything she had said from the moment they'd met was good and right and true...except when she told Farkle he was a good actor, but he wasn't counting that. She had told him that she didn't care for him that way and he had believed her, because Riley wouldn't lie. She had facilitated a relationship between him and Maya and he had gone along with it, because that was what Riley wanted.

Why?

Because he believed in her the same way she _said_ that she believed in him.

And because once he had almost kissed Maya he owed it to both of them to figure out what that meant. He still wasn't sure why it had happened, but he was sure why nothing else had.

Because as amazing and beautiful as Maya was, Maya wasn't Riley.

He needed to see her. There was so much to say, and finally after all this time, he was free to do so. The idea of hearing those same words from her mouth were absolutely thrilling but then he remembered why he'd been forced to hold back for so long as he'd watched her slip further and further away from him, and that thrill would begin twisting into something darker.

His two opposite reactions battled within him as he considered his options. Part of him was so happy that he could burst, and wanted nothing more than to run to her side and tell her that it had always been her. The other part was fighting the urge to punch a hole in a wall. She had looked him right in the face and lied to him, every day. For months she had tortured him with the thought of her letting go and moving on. She had given him away as if he meant nothing to her...

As he stood outside the cool night air washed over his skin like a blanket and cleared his mind. Just as he was about to decide whether to head for his apartment or Riley's bay window he glanced up to see the object of his thoughts cautiously moving toward him.


	66. Chapter 66- What I Want

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your love and support. I might not be able to update daily for awhile but I promise to get back as soon as I can. You guys are wonderful and I'm so grateful for your encouragement and dedication to this story and my work!**

Riley paced the parking lot, attempting to work up the nerve to enter the gym. It had taken a good half hour of grappling just to get her into the dress and out the door. She didn't' want to do this. Maya and Lucas were in there, God only knows what she might walk in on. He could be staring deeply in her eyes. They could be tangled up in one another during a slow dance. They could even be sharing their first kiss right now. How had she let herself get sucked into what was clearly such a horrible idea?

Oh yeah, Farkle had "ring powered" her.

She didn't even want to think about how he had managed to get that ring. She would like to believe that Maya wouldn't take it off so casually, but given the state of their relationship at the moment was it really such a stretch?

No!

Even if things weren't perfect between them she and Maya were still best friends and the best friend friendship rings still applied, as did the code the girls had made regarding them. Ultimately she had no choice but to go in there and tell Lucas and Maya the truth about what had happened in Texas.

They'd hate her for sure…

She lifted her hands to her face doing her best to will away Farkle's demand, but it was no use.

The brunette groaned in frustration at her current circumstances before taking one last breath and slowly…very slowly…making her way toward the school entrance.

She was a perfect vision walking toward him in her red knee length dress with lace overlay, the wind whipping the few loose strands from her elegantly braided up do from her face. As he sat there watching her slowly move forward he could help but wonder if he had he imagined her or somehow summoned her by sheer force of will?

"Lucas?" she called as she realized the figure sitting on the steps in the February cold was the exact person she had been sent to speak to. "What are you doing out here?" she asked curiously as she glanced around. "Where's Maya?"

It was an innocent question, but the wrong one to ask him in that moment. With the mention of her best friend, the entire conversation he'd just had, came resurfacing along with the hurt and betrayal that had accompanied it. He scratched the back of his neck as he fought to regain his composure.

"Not here, but let's not talk about Maya. Let's talk about us." He said as he lifted himself from the stairs to face her.

"Let's talk about what you said on New Year's Eve at the party."

She froze in place…why was he bringing this up now?

"I um, I said a lot things that night, Lucas." She stammered.

The image of her standing there with Gardner popped into his head but he forced it from his mind. She didn't have feelings for Charlie. She never did. That was just one more lie she had told him.

He shook his head inching closer.

"Not to me you didn't. You did say one very important thing that night though. Do you remember what you said?"

He could see it in her eyes that she knew exactly what he was talking about and he found himself wondering how she would play this, whether she would admit the truth or lie again.

He'd never thought he'd have to ask himself that question where she was concerned.

"I said that I like you…and then I said that I did…and then you asked me which one was it and…I left without giving you an answer.

He released the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, grateful she had been honest with him…at least about that.

He took another step closer, his green eyes searching her brown ones. She knew he could see it.

"So which is it, Riley? You did or you do?"

Her eyes grew wide as something inside her whispered the answer.

"You already know…don't you?"

His face and voice were completely void of expression as he stood before her.

"I guess that depends on what you think I know," he replied flatly.

She glanced down at her shoes and sighed before lifting her head to meet his gaze.

"You know that I lied to you…that I've been lying for months now…" she trailed off in shame.

She had known that this would be difficult, but she hadn't imagined that he would have been suspecting the words before she could say them.

"How did you find out?" she asked timidly.

He shrugged and blew out a ragged breath, "That doesn't matter. What does matter is that I didn't find out from you."

She glanced down at the ground, afraid to look up into his eyes, of what she might see in them if she did.

"Do you remember when Zay first moved here and he told everyone about me getting kicked out of school? You got angry with me because I didn't trust you enough to be honest with you? You said that it made you feel like you didn't really know me," his jaw clenched as his anger boiled.

"I remember," her voice sounded so small and childlike.

"I'm starting to think that maybe you were right." He replied, the emotion in his voice revealing his turmoil.

Her head snapped up to meet his gaze at those words. She had made mistakes. She was willing to admit that but how could he say that she didn't know him?

"You couldn't possibly know me Riley, and obviously I don't really know you either. I thought that we cared about each other-"

"We do," she retorted.

"I thought that we trusted each other-"

"I do trust you, Lucas."

This conversation was not going the way he had anticipated. After fearing the loss of her for so long he should have been pulling her close, saying everything to restore her faith in him, but instead he was pushing her away. She hated this side of him. He hated this side of him. Usually she was his calm, but tonight she was also his rage.

"You said that you would always believe in me Riley, and I believed you."

She placed her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her; her brown eyes staring down into his soul.

"I do believe in you, Lucas."

She'd said those words so many times since he'd met her and he'd never once seen the doubt in her eyes. Even now, looking into them, he could swear that she meant what she was saying, but if that were true then how could she have thought that he would use her or Maya like that? How could she be with someone like Charlie Gardner and not be willing to give him the same chance?

"So it's just us you don't believe in…"

Her heart plummeted like a rock to her stomach. How could she possibly make him understand? At the time everything had looked so black and white. He liked Maya, Maya liked him, and they had agreed to stay friends. It hadn't seemed complicated or messy at the time. She had never anticipated that anyone would get hurt as a direct result of her decision, but she could see now the pain in his eyes, she could hear it in his voice…and she wondered if it had been hiding there all along and she'd simply been too afraid to see it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"What? That I like you? How many times did I tell you that, Riley? I made a princess tiara and brought a horse to school. I raised my hand to ask you out in front of the entire seventh grade history class, I've done everything I know to show you how I feel. Were none of those things good enough to make you believe me?

"Of course they were," she said as if it were obvious.

"Then when did you stop believing me, Riley?"

She threw her hands up in the air whimsically as she began rambling; the dam finally breaking after months of silence.

"We broke up Lucas. We decided that we were better at being friends than we were at being a couple, and apparently we weren't the only ones that thought so. Everyone in class thinks we don't belong together-"

"What about what I think Riley? Doesn't that count?"

"Of course it does Lucas, but you called her beautiful and you didn't ask me to the dance-"

"Because I thought _we_ were going together," he emphasized.

"But I didn't know that. All I knew was that you had ten months to ask me and you didn't. We had never talked about liking other people but we didn't talk about liking each other anymore either, and then you were running off to Mayaville and being voted cutest couple and dancing together at semi-formal. It's obvious that you care about her so when I realized that she liked you too-"She didn't have the heart to finish that sentence.

She had watched the way he had defended Maya's happiness, heard the words he'd used to describe her best friend. He had to admit her suspicions weren't completely baseless.

"That doesn't mean you get to give me away to her. I get that the bottom line was making Maya happy but what about my happiness? Does that mean anything to you?"

"I thought you would be happy," she explained.

"You don't get to decide who I want for me," he argued, his voice rising again.

She shook her head in denial, refusing to believe the words he was saying when she knew that it wasn't that simple anymore.

"You're confused Lucas, and maybe that's my fault because I pushed you away and called you my brother, but you almost kissed her Lucas. I didn't make you do that. So don't stand there and tell me "what about what I want" when the truth is that you don't even know what you want!"

She spun on her heels and began to walk in the opposite direction. She had done what she came here to do. She had fulfilled her obligation. He knew the truth now, there was no reason for her to stay and argue with him.

"I want you to stop trying to push me and Maya together," he said as he took a step forward.

"I want you to stop assuming that you know how I feel," he took another stride forward, easily catching up with her and wrapping his hand around her arm to spin her around.

"And I want you to stop pulling away from me every time I try to get close to you," he demanded as he turned her eyes to meet his own.

She trembled in his embrace. It wasn't him that she feared, it was the moment they were currently in, and the words coming out of his mouth.

"Something happened in Texas," she insisted, finally pushing him over the edge.

He released her arm and grabbed her face holding it mere inches from his, his blood was simmering and he could feel the anxiousness of the air between them as if something was going to happen. She was so close he could feel her breath against his lips, and he found himself getting lost in those big brown doe eyes as he leaned in.

A wave of clarity came crashing upon him in that moment as he pulled back.

The brunette in his hands swallowed hard and licked her bottom lip which had suddenly felt dry in the cool night air.

"Lucas?" she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper.

He stared into her beautiful confused expression and fought the urge to chuckle at the simplicity that had just befallen his state of mind.

"This, this is all that happened in Texas. I had her face in my hands and I could have kissed her, but I didn't. It wasn't Maya I was reacting to. It was the situation. It was part of myself. I know that now because when we were arguing and you weren't listening to me, it happened again, and the two of you couldn't be more different."

She nodded, seeming to understand.

"You didn't kiss me either," she observed sadly.

Lucas inwardly groaned, wondering what in the world it was going to take to make her understand and believe in him again.

"You're right, I didn't. But the reason I stopped with you is different from why I stopped with her. I couldn't kiss her because she isn't you. You're the only girl I've even thought of kissing." He said with a bashful smile.

"Then why didn't you kiss me?" she asked, still perplexed by the events of the evening.

"Because this wasn't right. Us arguing in the parking lot, upset with one another; that's not what I want my moment to be. When I kiss you again, and I really hope I get to, I don't want it to be a reaction. I want it to be a choice. Because I still really like you Riley, even more than I did the last time I said it." He couldn't hold back his smile as he finally said the words he had been longing to say without the cloud of Texas or the fear that she wouldn't want him back hanging over them.

He could have said more, wanted to say more, but she was already fighting her urge to pull back and the last thing he wanted was to give her a reason to do so.

Riley didn't know what to say. She had been telling herself that she would never hear those words from him again, forcing herself to make peace with it. She had forfeited any claim that she had to him months ago and accepted the consequences of that choice, no matter how painful they had been.

"Um, Lucas?" she asked shyly. "Can I have my face back?"

"Uh, yeah," he said as he removed his hands from either side of her head nervously, "sorry."

The two stood there, taking one another in after everything that had been said and done. He took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders as they sat down on the steps together.

"So what about Maya? I'm assuming that what happened tonight wouldn't have happened if you two were still…you know."

He nodded with a twinkle in his eye.

"We both realized where I really wanted to be."

She began to stand up, "I should probably go find her," but he reached up and grasped her hand to stop her.

"Can you wait? I think we should finish talking first."

She silently agreed as she sat back down next to him.

"So why did you decide to tell me the truth tonight?" he asked.

She stared at her shoes again, unable to look him in the eye. "Farkle."

Lucas just shook his head at her response.

"Would you really have just stood back and watched me be with Maya without saying anything?"

He had already proven that he couldn't do the same.

"If that was what you wanted, yeah." She said as met his gaze once more finding a burning intensity there she hadn't seen before.

"What if what I want is you? Would you still want me to have what I want?"


	67. Chapter 67- The Finest Line

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers! I am so sorry to have left you danging on the cliff by the tips of your fingers. That really wasn't very kind of me. I had some personal things happening, but I've been working hard to get back to you all. Thank you for your continued support and readership. It is ALWAYS appreciated! Follow, Fave, Review, I always enjoy hearing from you guys!**

 **I know you were eagerly anticipating the answer to Lucas's question, and we will delve into that in the next update, but first you need to know what was happening during that conversation to get a better understanding of where things are going.**

 ***The triangle IS completely over. The underlying causes behind the triangle, however, not so much. Remember everything I do, I do with a purpose. If you ever start to worry remember my promise; no buildup without a payoff ;)***

Maya sat slumped over with her elbows on her knees, face in her hands, as she watched the party lights changed colors with the music. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go, was it? She'd begun the evening feeling as if she'd stepped into a fairy-tale, yet here she was at the ball, in the prettiest dress she'd ever worn, and she'd sent Prince Charming off to woo the princess down the street.

She still didn't know how she felt about the decisions she had made that night, or Lucas for that matter. It had all happened so quickly. One minute they were standing there talking about their moment by the campfire and the next she was telling him that Riley still had feelings for him, knowing that any chance they'd had at their own fairy-tale ending would be washed away with that one sentence.

She'd seen the relief in his eyes when he realized that she was letting him go, as if whatever had been between them were a burden somehow lifted. That had been all the answer she needed. No matter what she felt for Lucas, he would never be hers. He was just as out of reach as her father, Josh, and all her other dreams that would never come true were.

That was when she saw him coming toward her through the crowd.

The tall, dark, and handsome young man walked over to the beautiful blonde, who was easily the prettiest girl in the gym, and handed her a red paper rose that matched her dress. She glanced up at him through her lashes, her blue eyes searching his own for something, though he couldn't say what she was looking for. Finally she gave him a small smile as she accepted the rose.

"What are you doing here?" she asked curiously, as he took a seat next to her.

"I wanted to apologize for the things I said earlier," Farkle replied.

Maya just shook her head, her curls tossing to and fro at his statement. He hadn't come simply to make amends. That could have waited until tomorrow. He'd obviously known how this evening would go.

"No you didn't. You meant everything you said. You just didn't want me to be alone." She observed.

The boy smiled sympathetically. He had only said those things in order to obtain the ring, but he couldn't deny there had been truth in his harmful words. He'd been disappointed in her for making the wrong choice and taking advantage of Riley's mistake, but none of those things needed to be said. The most important thing now was that she knew he still believed in her and that he was sorry for the damage he had caused.

Rather than spewing words of apology he simply extended his hand to the lovely lady next to him, "care to dance?"

To his surprise she accepted his offer by taking his hand and walking with him toward the dance floor. Unlike with Lucas, Maya knew exactly what to expect with Farkle. Together they took their formal dancing stance and he began waltzing her around the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked as they box stepped to the music.

The blonde shrugged before he raised her hand and spun her in a circle back to him.

"I guess I am. I mean, I'm the one that told him to go after her. Why else would I do that?"

Farkle's eyes widened as the message behind Maya's words set in. She had told Lucas to go see Riley? Did that mean that he finally knew everything? He hoped that was the case, but he couldn't help but wonder what had changed her mind, when she had been so set on keeping what they both knew to herself.

"Because you're a good person Maya Hart, and a good friend. Despite what I said this afternoon."

She shook her head sadly.

"No Farkle, I'm really not. I knew that Lucas liked Riley the entire time, but I told myself that it was okay because she didn't like him back, and then I told myself that it was okay because he had to like me a little or that moment in Texas wouldn't have happened. Even after I knew the truth about Riley's feelings, then I actually used her sacrifice to justify what I was doing. I actually told myself that this was what she wanted and it would be selfish not to let her have it…" she trailed off, raking her teeth against her lower lip.

A silence settled between them as he thought about the last few months. They had each been buckling under the weight of this secret, even when they hadn't known that it was there. He was grateful to know that it had finally come to an end, but he was also afraid of what might happen now, and if their foundation was still reparable.

"Do you know what the worst part is?" she asked him hesitantly.

Farkle just shook his head as he continued to lead them around the floor. Very rarely did she open up like this and he didn't want to break whatever spell they were currently under.

"I don't even know why I did it. I have no idea how I feel about him or why…but I do know I hurt both of them by letting them think something that wasn't true."

"What's that?" he inquired.

Maya had never been a mystery to him until now.

"I let them think that I knew how I felt…that I felt that way from the very beginning. Riley stepped back because she thought that's what I did. She thought that I spent the last year and half dying inside watching them together, and that's not how it was. I can admit that part of me was sad or maybe jealous like she thought, but part of me was also really happy for her."

The boy just nodded his head, unsure of what to say.

"And now you're here consoling me instead of celebrating the day with your own valentine," she commented.

Isadora had insisted on not celebrating the day of Saint Valentine's massacre, because that was the only historical value of the day and there was nothing slightly romantic about it. She didn't understand choosing a specific day to pronounce one's feelings for another, nor did she understand choosing to do so on a day that such a bloody event had occurred. It simply made no sense, and so she refused to cater to the greeting card and candy industry by partaking in the extravagance of it all.

"Isadora doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day," he explained so that she wouldn't feel bad about ruining plans that he didn't even have.

"Besides, my growing affection for Smackle could never negate my first true loves," he said as he pulled her friendship ring from his pocket for the second time that evening, and slipped it back on her finger where it belonged.

"Farkle," she exclaimed teary eyed. She'd had no idea how much she needed that moment until it was happening, but of course he had. No one knew her and Riley like Farkle did.

"I love you, Maya Penelope Hart," he said with a smile.

"And I love you, Farkle…I have no idea what your middle name is, Minkus. Seriously, what is your middle name?"

Maya could ask for just about anything in the world from him and he'd gladly give it to her, but he had no intention of granting this particular request.

"That's for me to know and you never to find out," he said with a smirk.

The blonde pursed her lips pouting, her blue eyes suddenly big and round, begging him for information.

"Oh come on! You're first name is Farkle and your last name is Minkus. How bad could it possibly be?"

The two friends chuckled at her comment before she looked down at her ring suspiciously.

"You know, you never told me why you needed my ring in the first place," she reminded him, her tone almost accusing. They suddenly stopped moving as the song ended and she stared down into him, daring him to deceive her.

"You ring powered her, didn't you?"

Why else would he want the ring? He'd tried to force Maya into coming clean with Lucas and when that had failed he'd undoubtedly pushed Riley to do the same.

He peered into her icy blue gaze unrepentant.

"I did," he admitted resolutely.

The blonde scoffed disbelievingly as she yanked her hand from his. She kept shaking her head back and forth as she began to take steps backwards away from him. No. No. No. How could he do this to her? He'd come here pretending to care about her feelings, when in reality he was just trying to clean up his mess out of guilt? He knew that Lucas was supposed to decide whether he wanted to be with her tonight and instead of trusting them to figure their feelings out on their own, he'd sent Riley in like a wrecking ball to demolish any chance she had.

Maybe Farkle did love her, but he loved Riley more…

Just like Lucas might like her, but liked Riley more…

Farkle was supposed to be different though. Farkle had promised to love them equally.

She stormed out of the gymnasium into the hallway with him on her heels.

"Leave me alone," she growled, but he wasn't about to do that.

"Maya, just let me explain," he demanded as she spun to face him.

"Explain what Farkle? That you manipulated me? That you called me a horrible friend so that I would give you my ring? A ring you only wanted so that you could force Riley to go after Lucas when he was on a date with me? Would it really have been the end of the world if he had chosen to be with me? Would it be so wrong for me to have someone I liked that actually wanted me back? Riley's amazing! I get that! But she has EVERYTHING Farkle. Even YOU apparently!" She spat as she raised her hands, pushing him away from her.

"Do you really think that's why I did this? Because I care more about Riley than I do you?!" He shouted as he rushed in front of her. Farkle hardly ever got angry, but accusing him of not caring about either of his girls was more than enough to push him over that ledge.

"I was trying to protect you! All of you! You said yourself that Lucas always wanted Riley and now you know that Riley always wanted Lucas. There was no good way for this situation to play out, Maya. Even if he had chosen you tonight, what do you think would have happened when the truth finally came out?"

"He could have wanted me by then," she insisted, even though she knew deep down it wasn't true.

"And let's say he did, how do you think he would have felt about you knowing that you knew the truth and hid it from him all that time?"

"He wouldn't ever know that unless you told him," she replied icily.

Farkle blew an exasperated breath. Couldn't she see that he had done this for the good of everyone involved, especially her?

"The truth always finds a way to come out. You know that Maya."

It had been one of their very first life lessons from Mathews the previous year. She hadn't believed it at the time, but every experience she'd had since then had proven it to be true. Secrets always came out eventually.

"Maybe so," she admitted dejectedly, "but it didn't have to come from you. I told him the truth and he made his choice….you both did, and you both chose her. So did I…so I guess Riley wins it all, and she doesn't even have to play the game to do so." She replied before walking away, knowing this time Farkle wouldn't follow.

She decided to go outside for some air but quickly regretted it when she saw Lucas standing there at the school's entrance with Riley, his hands cradling her face as they had Maya's that night in Texas. The last thing she wanted was to see this, but she couldn't seem to look away.

Riley was here, in a red dress, in Lucas's hands. She had fulfilled Farkle's demand. Yes, Maya had already let him go by the time she arrived, but the brunette didn't know that. For all she knew Maya could have been professing her undying love to Lucas right now, and yet she had still come, with every intention reclaiming him for herself.

"This, this is all that happened that night," she heard him say.

Maya didn't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, she didn't want to know what he would say next, any more than she wanted to be seeing this, but she stood there frozen; unable to move.

"It wasn't Maya that I was reacting to, it was the situation. It was part of myself," he elaborated, assuring her best friend that the moment that had meant so much to her had meant absolutely nothing to him.

"I couldn't kiss her because she isn't you," she heard him whisper tenderly.

He'd never spoken to her like that.

She closed her eyes, wishing to be anywhere else, anyone else, in that moment. It was bad enough when she had believed that he liked her; that she had been able to score in Lucas's heart, even if she couldn't take her best friend's place. It had been painful, but bearable. Finding out that Farkle had put Riley's happiness as priority over hers as well had been a devastating blow; one that hurt just as much, if not more, than losing Lucas…or realizing that she'd never really had him. But to hear him say that there had never been anything between them? That he had only been drawn to her in that moment because of his personality…that there was nothing about her that was special or worth wanting? That was far worse.

The blonde turned against the wall and slowly crumpled to the floor. She almost had to laugh at the irony. After holding her tongue when she'd learned Riley's secret she finally knew how her best friend had felt all that time. Now that she knew she would never have Lucas's heart, which she had never even for a remote second stood a chance at possessing, she couldn't help but want it for herself. She finally knew how she felt about him. She also knew that he would never feel the same way because all he wanted was the girl that Maya herself had pushed into his lap.


	68. Chapter 68- Divides a Night Well Spent

**A/N: Okay guys I hadn't planned on posting this until next week but my research paper is coming along better than expected so I'm in a good mood and feel like spreading the joy. Also I heard that this story has been named a "must read" so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for that! You guys are amazing and I'm so happy to be part of your little corner of fanfiction paradise.**

Riley sat there on the steps at the entrance of John Quincy Adams, staring into his desperate green eyes. Would she still want him to have what he wanted? The answer seemed obvious at first. Of course she would want him to have everything his heart ever desired for the sake of his happiness. She just had a difficult time believing that after all the lies she had told and all the mistakes she had made, that he could possibly still want her. Maybe it was selfish since she had already decided they could never be anything more than friends, but she really wanted him to want her.

He sat next to her watching the emotions flickering in her eyes the way a traffic light shifts from one color to the next, waiting for an answer to his question.

Could he have her? The truth of the matter was that he already did. She had innately and indisputably belonged to him from the moment that she had clumsily fallen into his lap the first day of seventh grade. He belonged to her too, at least for the time being. He'd made that more than clear tonight with his romantic declarations and the passion with which he had pronounced them. She was the only girl he ever thought about kissing. She was the only girl he wanted to be with. All she had to do was say yes and there would be no more blurry lines, no more second guessing which side of the notebook they were on. They would become Riley and Lucas; boyfriend and girlfriend...but what then?

Would they go back to awkwardly holding hands and not being able to talk to one another?

No, that wasn't an option.

Maybe she had lied about how she felt for him, but everything else she had said that night had been true.

Riley still having feelings for him didn't change that.

Lucas not having feelings for Maya didn't change it either.

And then, of course, there was Maya to consider. She still didn't know what her best friend felt or what exactly had happened between the two of them before she had showed up at the dance.

"Lucas..."

With that one word the light began to drain from his face. He could already hear in her voice that this wasn't going to be the answer he wanted.

"You're saying no," he concluded.

Lucas Friar was the guy everyone in school though of as Mr. Perfect, and he hated it. There were a lot of assumptions that went along with that title; the most common one being that he could have any girl in the entire world that he wanted...except the only one he wanted was the quirky beautiful brunette sitting next to him, and she was always pushing him away for one reason or another.

"You know how I feel about you, Lucas" she replied sheepishly as she glanced down to her lap, where her hands were neatly folded, to avoid his gaze.

She still had one more secret that she was terrified of him discovering.

She had told him that he knew how she felt, but it wasn't entirely true. Her feelings had changed since the last time she had been truly honest with him, or herself for that matter, but now wasn't the time to admit that. The truth would change things between them again, and she wasn't ready for that just yet.

"Do I?" He challenged.

He'd never have doubted her before. Before this had happened she could have told him the sky was purple and he would have believed her. He desperately wanted to believe that she felt the same way about him as he did her, but how could he when her actions had proven otherwise? She had called him her brother and pushed him into the arms of someone else. How could she do that, if she truly cared for him?

Riley and her happiness meant more to him than he knew how to say, but seeing her with Charlie all that time had been the most painful and frustrating torture. No matter how much he had wanted to accept the guy and be happy for her, he didn't have it in him to do so. Even though he'd had no right to her and no reason to believe it was what she wanted, he hadn't been able to stop himself from fighting for her. Not only did Riley not fight for him, she passed him off to someone else, and she made it look easy to do.

"I know that I'm not your brother, but I have no idea what I actually _am_ to you anymore."

He didn't believe her...

She couldn't blame him for that. She wasn't even sure she knew how to answer that question anymore. He'd become so much more than she'd ever anticipated.

"That's part of the reason I can't say yes, Lucas. Things happen for a reason. We both believe that. Something isn't right between us."

They believed in all the same things. They liked all the same things. They even wanted the same things, and yet they had still managed to completely derail whatever it was they had been. Clearly they just weren't meant to be.

Her brown eyes were pleading with him to understand but she didn't find compassion waiting for her in his own. She found resentment instead.

"The only thing wrong between us is that you lied to me, Riley! You stopped talking to me! You stopped trusting me! I thought that everything was fine before you told me that you thought of me as your brother. You liked me. I liked you. We were waiting to be together until we were both ready," he exclaimed.

He was angry and he had every right to be, but if anything his words were proving her point.

"Everything wasn't fine though. I felt like I was slowly watching you slip away, that you were moving on to my best friend, and you didn't even realize it. I lied right to your face and you couldn't even tell...that has to mean something."

Lucas shook his head, refusing to accept her words. She could say that she was scared or not ready, but he wouldn't allow her to say there was nothing between them anymore, not when they both knew it was a lie.

"That's not true. I did see it. There were moments I was so sure of it, but then I'd see you with Charlie and I'd get scared that I was only seeing what I wanted to see, but I could feel it! That thing that's always been between us, that thing that made us something more than just friends, I still felt it!" He said as he gestured to the space between them.

What was she supposed to say to that? She couldn't deny that those feelings were still there, nor could she say that she didn't believe him because she did. She knew there were moments when she'd been unable to keep him from seeing what was in her heart.

"You keep saying that all of this happened for a reason, but what if the reason was to bring us together," he said as he took her hands in his. "What if the whole point was for us to stop making excuses and wasting time? I've never doubted my feelings for you for even a second and I have to believe that something good can still come from all our mistakes. Don't you?"

She was the most hopeful person he had ever known. If she could find the good in everything and everyone else, then surely she had to be able to see the good in what they shared, didn't she?

Riley's resolve was melting with his every word and gesture. She had been so certain that they didn't make a good couple and the best thing she could do for both of them would be to let him go. It had been incredibly difficult but she's done it because "it was the best thing to do for everybody concerned," only it hadn't been. All she had really accomplished with that decision was to hurt every single person that she cared about, especially Lucas. She had broken their trust and denied their bond until he couldn't even trust his own judgement anymore. How could that possibly be the right thing? Maybe she should stop fighting her feelings for him...

But then she could lose him.

It was true that she had him right now, but could she keep him? She wanted to know that he would always be part of her life, that he would always be there to talk to and to listen. She never wanted to lose him...she'd already had a taste of life without him over the last few months and she knew it held absolutely no appeal for her. However, the opposite of never was...well, forever. Everyone kept telling her how terrifying and unstable feelings were at her age. What were the chances of whatever he felt for her right now lasting the rest of their lives? What were the chances they wouldn't change again in this ever-changing life?

All those other couples she had heard about who'd fallen apart, they couldn't have known what would happen once they were together, otherwise why would they have gone through with it? Shawn had said himself that he and Angela were supposed to be like her mom and dad. They were supposed to get married, raise a family, and be together for the rest of their lives. None of those things had happened though. Instead Angela had married someone else and Shawn had wound up alone. Her dad's friends Jack and Rachel hadn't spoken in years, unlike Eric and Rachel who still talked all the time. But Rachel loved her uncle like a brother and no matter how hard Riley had tried she just couldn't look at Lucas that way.

He could see the battle taking place within her. She wanted to say yes, but something was convincing her not to. Why was she always holding back from him? Couldn't she see how much she meant to him? He'd told her every way he knew how and shown her every way he could possibly think of. He was sitting there with his heart in his hands, begging her to trust him, to show him that she felt the same way, and still she was resisting. How could they ever get past this if she wouldn't believe him?

"I don't know," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I want to believe, but that's not the same thing as actually believing. I know how I feel about you. You're my best friend too, in a different way than Maya. You're the first boy I ever liked. I can't even explain what you mean to me...but I doubted you and I lied to you and now you don't know whether or not you should believe me...and I don't blame you for that, I just don't see how that can be a good thing, Lucas."

He didn't want to admit that she was right. As much as he cared for her, he wasn't sure that he trusted her anymore. He knew that she'd had only good intentions. Riley never did anything out of cruelty or carelessness. She'd obviously believed in what she was doing at the time. That was exactly what scared him; the way she made choices for both of them without realizing how much it would hurt him. She had considered his feelings in her own way, but she hadn't actually known what he wanted or how he felt. She should have known but she didn't. If he couldn't convince her that he was exactly where he wanted to be with her, what was to stop her from breaking his heart, for what she believed was his own sake, all over again?

"Okay, maybe the reason wasn't to instantly bring us together," he said as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Maybe it was to shed a light on what we need to work through before we're ready to be together."

Riley didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his persistence. He really wasn't going to give up, was he? He never did on the things he truly believed in. She wasn't sure why he had so much faith in her after everything that she had put him through or how he could be so sure that they were meant to be more, but he wouldn't be fighting her this hard if he didn't.

"You really think that we're supposed to be more than just friends, don't you?" She asked incredulously.

As she looked into his eyes her confusion was met with his conviction.

"We already are, Riles. We always have been," he said with a small smile as he brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. He'd missed this; the light in her eyes, the feel of being this close to her...the knowledge that she felt the same.

She couldn't help but smile at the feel of his fingertips against her face. They'd never been like this before Texas. Maybe Lucas was right and all those horrible things that happened had actually changed something for the better.

Had he really expected everything to return to the way it was before so easily? Even if Riley's feelings for him hadn't changed, plenty of other things had. He couldn't fix this with fancy words or a perfect moment. She needed time and consistent reassurance to feel safe in their relationship again. She needed to feel that she had earned his trust back. Most of all, she needed to see that this situation with Maya was truly over, and she wouldn't be hurting her best friend by giving in to her feelings.

"We don't have to decide anything tonight. We don't have to be boyfriend and girlfriend or brother and sister. We can just be us; Riley and Lucas," he offered with a smile, which she gladly returned.

"Riley and Lucas, I like that. I like when we're us. So...what happens now?"

He stood up and took her hand, pulling her to her feet.

"Well, we are here at the dance, and you look amazing in that dress. It would be a shame to let it go to waste," he said as he raised his arm and twirled her around.

"Lucas," she giggled, "this is the Valentine's dance. How is that appropriate?"

"Valentine's Day is about showing people how much you care about them, and I care about you. We don't have to get into what those feelings mean right now. We don't even have to go inside if you don't want to. We can just stand out here and dance," he explained as he pulled her closer to him.

She looked at him with those big brown eyes that made his heart melt, her cheeks slightly tinged with pink.

"I don't really know how to dance," she admitted bashfully.

Lucas wrapped an arm around her waist as her hand found its way to his upper arm. He had no idea if this was what they were supposed to do, but he liked how it felt.

"That's okay, we can figure it out together," he stated as he clutched their clasped hands close to his heart.

Riley laid her head against his chest. They were standing out in the February cold, but in his arms she didn't feel it. All she could feel was the warmth of their proximity and the relief that the wall between them was finally no longer an issue.

Lucas held her close as they swayed to the faint sounds of the music from inside. The feel of her in his arms was even more wonderful than he'd imagined and the berry scent of her hair was intoxicating. There was so much that he still needed to say to her, so much that he had been holding in, even before he'd thought he'd lost her. Now that he had another chance he was determined to make the most of it. Someday soon he would tell her everything, but for now, this moment was enough.


	69. Chapter 69- From a Waste of Time

**A/N: Hello my lovely people! I apologize for being gone so long, but I have returned and I come bearing updates. You will also be happy to know that I've already begun working ahead again so once school is out within the next month, I should be able to return to my usual updating schedule or at least closer to it. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, I promise.**

Maya sat there on the other side of the wall, too lost in her own thoughts to overhear what was happening just outside the doors. She had already heard more than enough of the young lover's conversation to last her the evening. Whether it happened tonight or some distant day down the road, it was painfully clear that Lucas only had eyes for her best friend, and that Riley had chosen coming after him over honoring their friendship. She leaned her head back with her eyes closed, suddenly feeling claustrophobic and unable to move. She didn't want to go back inside where Farkle might still be waiting for her and she really couldn't handle facing the future Mr. and Mrs. Nauseating dancing out front at the moment. Even though she had given him her blessing to go after Riley she hadn't been ready to see them together like that.

Wanting to disappear, she finally decided to sneak out through the side door entrance that she had come through earlier that night. She didn't want to be here anymore. All she wanted was to go home and forget that this dance had ever happened. She'd told herself that whatever happened would happen, she'd asked herself what she would do if she realized that she liked him, but the last thing she had ever thought to ask herself was what if nothing she believed was true actually was.

The blonde stormed out of the school so fast that she didn't see the figure sitting on the bottom of the steps as she nearly pulled a Riley and toppled down the remaining stairs after losing her balance.

"Watch the heels," a familiar voice muttered as he examined the hand she had accidentally stepped onto.

Maya straightened herself out and adjusted her dress, not that it really mattered how she looked at this point.

"Sorry," she muttered.

The dark haired boy glanced up at the sarcastic blonde, expecting her usual mischievous and sassy attitude, but when he got a good look at her he realized that something was different tonight. There was a disappointment in her eyes and a sadness in her forced smile that he recognized. He'd been met with that same look in his reflection every day since he'd met Riley at the park and she had told him what she really thought of him.

"You okay," he asked, though he already knew the answer.

She peered down at boy on the stairs suspiciously.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't even really fall. You're the one that nearly got trampled," she replied.

Charlie couldn't help but chuckle at her attempt to be mean. It might have worked if he had never interacted with her before or didn't know what she was feeling in that moment. Rather than being intimidated by her he currently found himself amused.

"That's not what I meant," he stated sincerely, catching her off-guard.

"Oh…" She groped for something else to say. "How's your hand?" she asked, genuinely concerned this time.

He was the last person that she had expected to talk to or to care about her feelings, but he was there and he was the only person she could think of that might actually understand what she was feeling at the moment. All she really knew about Charlie was what she had learned during their English paper together and what Riley had told her. As she stared at him now she couldn't help but wonder what had actually happened between him and her best friend.

"It's fine," he said with a shrug, though it was still throbbing. He'd quickly decided stiletto heels would make excellent weapons.

"So I'm guessing you know," Maya commented, not willing to actually say the words out loud yet.

Charlie had always known how Riley and Lucas felt about one another, but he had honestly believed that he was every bit as good as Friar, and capable of making her just as happy. All he had needed was the opportunity to prove it. He still believed that. Maybe he had made some mistakes in how he had gone about getting that chance, but the feelings he had for her were real.

"That Riley and Lucas are still into each other? Yeah, I knew." He admitted sullenly.

He hadn't meant to hurt or disappoint her, but how else was a guy supposed to compete with the likes of someone like Friar? He didn't have the chiseled jaw or flexing muscles. All he had was his knowledge of romance and the window of opportunity that Lucas had unintentionally left open to him at the time. Was he really such a horrible person for using the one advantage that he'd had?

The blonde sat down next to him, she wasn't sure why, but if he or anyone else had asked she could blame it on the fancy shoes and achy feet.

"So is that what happened? She broke up with you because you weren't Lucas?"

Charlie twiddled his thumbs as he decided how much he wanted to tell the curious girl next to him. She and Riley might be on the outs right now, but Maya was still her best friend.

"That was a big part of it…but she kind of caught me in a lie," he confessed. Once she and Riley made up there would be no keeping it from her anyway.

Her expression hardened and her sympathetic gaze turned accusing.

"I thought you said you'd never lie to Riley just to get her, Cheese Soufflé?"

Maya might be currently having some issues with the brunette but Riles was still her best friend, and as such she'd defend her from anything or anyone that would hurt her.

"I wouldn't." he snapped before heaving an exasperated sigh.

He didn't know why he kept having these bizarre conversations with the girl next to him; maybe it was because she was close to Riley or maybe it was because she was in a similar boat as him. Either way he found himself opening up to her about his misdeeds and the cause behind them. Riley had never even given him the chance to explain himself or defend his actions. "

I didn't lie TO Riley, I lied to Lucas, about her…about our relationship. I knew he wouldn't give up on her unless he believed that she had moved on," he explained.

If anyone could possibly understand his actions surely she would. She had wanted Friar just as badly as he had wanted Riley.

"So you let him think there was more to you and Riley than there was," she clarified with a nod of understanding. She didn't necessarily like it, but she understood it. How could she not when she had done something eerily similar by ignoring Riley's feelings and asking Lucas to the dance?

"I would never have hurt her. I just wanted her to look at me-"

"The way she looks at him," she whispered sadly. "I get it."

Somehow he knew she would.

"I really was rooting for you, Hart." he said with a slight smirk, imagining how different things might have been for both of them if Lucas had fallen for any of her charms.

She chuckled darkly, "Only because you thought if Lucas were to have feelings for me that Riley would magically fall in love with you." She lashed out.

He was an agenda shipper; nothing more. He would gladly hop on the coattails of any pairing he thought would keep Lucas away from Riley long enough for him to swoop in and sweep her off her feet.

"Well obviously he didn't want you any more than Riley wanted me," he retaliated coldly.

It only took a moment for his wounded pride to heal causing him to regret his choice of words. It wasn't very kind or fair of him to be kicking the girl while she was already down.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't have said that."

She shook her head in response.

"Why not? It's the truth. You know, tonight I overheard him telling her that he never really liked me like that. He said that he thought he did but it was really just a trick of the moment. And then I got to hear my best friend telling him how she lied about her feelings for him and how our other best friend convinced her to come tell him the truth. You might have been there for all the wrong reasons, but at least you were on my side."

Everyone else had been looking out for either Riley, her and Riley, or the group as a whole. No one had cared about what any of this was doing to her as an individual.

Charlie sat there digesting the wealth of information he had just been given. Honestly he had been surprised that the brunette had managed to keep a lid on her feelings for as long as she had. Lying seemed to go against everything she claimed to believe in and she wasn't particularly good at it either. Now that Lucas knew the truth about where he stood with her there was no wiggle room for him to slither in between. He wasn't foolish enough to believe there was hope, but he still couldn't believe this was the guy that she had chosen over him; he would never have led Maya on or bounced back and forth between the girls like a ping pong ball.

He also couldn't help but feel bad for the blonde sitting next to him. No wonder she was spewing venom! At least with Riley he'd never had any disillusions about what their time together meant, but Maya had genuinely believed that there was something between her and Lucas after her best friend swore off the guy. She'd really thought that she stood a chance. She'd never realized how the deck was already stacked against her.

"What did you do when she finally told you?" he inquired.

She bit the inside of her cheek as she thought about what she had overheard not even an hour before.

"She didn't tell me anything. I just finally took off the stupid blinders and opened my eyes." She spat bitterly.

Each time she told this story she managed to leave out the part where Farkle had told her everything on New Year's Eve and she had all but called him a liar. She'd felt so incredibly guilty when she had first realized the truth. The sting of their betrayal had now overshadowed any shame she'd originally felt.

"I guess that answers my question about Cyrano," he replied with a shrug as her blue eyes clouded with confusion.

"I asked you once if you would give him up to make her happy, and from what you told me they're together now so you must be more like Cyrano than you led me to believe." He concluded, albeit incorrectly.

She hadn't given Lucas up when she had realized how Riley felt about him. It had only been when she had realized how he felt about her best friend, and more specifically how he didn't feel about her, that she had "sacrificed herself." She hadn't been noble or selfless. She'd simply been defeated…but if he wanted to think of her as the tragic heroine of this story then why not let him? It was better than being the fool.

"You're more like Cyrano than I am," she muttered. "You were right all along. It's better to be safe than sorry."

Charlie sat there contemplating her words carefully.

"Did you ever actually finish the book Maya?" he asked inquisitively.

The sassy blonde hardly ever read the book, let alone finished it. Most people assumed that it was because she was either lazy or rebelling, and she preferred to let them believe that. She was used to people giving up on her, teachers included. Harper wasn't like that. Mathews wasn't like that. Miss Kossal wasn't like that. Each of them believed she was capable of more and encouraged her to strive for it. She wasn't used to that.

"Not really," she admitted, "why what happened?"

The dark haired boy smirked as if he were revealing a secret of some kind.

"The guy dies alone because he was too scared to take a chance. It's better to be sorry than safe."

Maya nodded, a faint smile gracing her features. Charlie hadn't been the person she wanted or expected to talk to tonight, but for some strange reason she felt as if he understood her. Maybe that was because they had both been footnotes in the Riley and Lucas story?

* * *

Maya was a bit of a walking contradiction when it came to her emotions. On one hand, she had a wild heart that couldn't be tamed. As a result there were times it ran away with her, making her feelings known to the world. However, there was another side to Maya that fewer people knew; the actress.

The young blonde had been perfecting her mother's craft ever since she was a child. The only difference was that her performance didn't take place in an auditorium or on a set. Her entire life was her stage and her act wasn't for the audience so much as it was herself. From the time she was a little girl she had trained herself to make jokes at her own misfortune, to tease instead of connect, and most importantly to feign apathy whenever she found herself caring too much about something.

Sometime in the last year her facade had begun to crack. Uncle Boing had easily transformed her into a puddle of romantic stirrings on the floor. No matter how hard she tried to hold herself together in front of Josh, she always unraveled at the mere sight of him. Then Shawn had come along and couldn't resist the urge to hope for a place in his life, for him to have a place in hers, for the three of them to be a family. She'd started to believe in things like hope and inspiration, to fight for things that she wanted. That was where it had all went wrong. She had allowed herself to want things and to believe that she could have them, that maybe she even deserved them.

Katie was sitting in the living room by the door when Maya finally came home. She hadn't known which way the night would turn out, but she had been certain there was really no good way for it to end. One look into her daughter's eyes and she knew that she had made the right choice. Katie opened her arms as Maya ran toward her, in desperate need of comfort from the one person that had ever truly wanted her. The young girl laid her head in her mother's lap and cried inconsolably, gasping for breath between bouts of tears. Each time she thought she had none left she would think about that night and a fresh round would fill her eyes.

Her mom sat there holding her baby girl, running her fingers through her hair and whispering in hushed tones that it would all be okay. She didn't know how or when, but it would be. Maya lay there crying in her mother's lap for what seemed like hours, wondering what was so wrong with her that no one looked at her and saw something worth having.


	70. Chapter 70- Error in Judgement

**A/N: Thank you so much for your patience and support. My research paper is done and we're one step closer to me being all yours again. Love you all. Hope you guys enjoy this moment as much as the last one.**

Riley awoke the next morning with a genuine smile on her face. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do about her relationship or lack thereof with Lucas, but each time she recalled his words from the night before, she was filled with a hopeful fluttery sensation that she had been missing for months now. Only he had ever had that effect on her.

She twirled and danced about in her room as she hummed stanzas from the song they had danced to the night before. She was still reliving each wonderful moment in her mind. She could still see the way his eyes had smoldered with an unnamable emotion as he'd taken her face in his hands and leaned in, his lips a breath away from hers. She could feel his arm wrapped around her as they had swayed to the music. His heartbeat still echoed in her ears

What had started out as a truly horrible ultimatum had resulted in a blissful evening; a perfect memory. No matter what happened between the two of them from here on out they would always have that one perfect evening together.

"Oh my, my. Oh my stars," she sang as she ran her hairbrush through her wavy tangles. This was undoubtedly her new favorite song, years from now whenever she heard this song she knew she would automatically be transported back to the memory of dancing in his arms. She was completely lost between the melody and the moment when she heard a knocking at her door, which was weird because no one ever knocked except Uncle Shawn and he was out of town and all her friends would simply come through her window.

The bubbly brunette turned to see Isadora Smackle standing in her doorway.

"Salutations Riley. I hope you don't mind my presence. Your father insisted that I come to greet you rather than waiting politely downstairs," she explained nervously, as she smoothed out her skirt out of habit.

Isadora didn't know Riley very well, which was reason enough to make her uncomfortable about this meeting. The fact that she had invited herself to the Mathews dwelling in order to enlist the knowledge and application of the girl in question's unique skill set where social norms were concerned probably did nothing to ease her anxiety either.

Riley smiled warmly at Smackle in response. She didn't know much about the female genius yet, she had only hung out with the group a few times, but she considered the girl a friend and hoped that she would feel the same.

"It's perfectly fine, Smackle." She said as she returned the brush to its previous position.

Even with Riley's assurance, Isadora lingered in the hallway, uncertain what she should do. Everything she had learned about Riley over the last few months had taught her to believe that Riley was a kind person and a very good friend to Farkle. She had been more than happy to assist Smackle in the past. All of these observations made Riley the perfect person to approach for this much needed insight and possible favor.

"Would you like to come in?" Riley asked when she realized that the invitation was required in order to make Isadora feel more comfortable.

"Thank you," she said with a shy smile as she entered Riley's bedroom.

"Your room is very tastefully decorated. It's a brilliant blend of both your personal interests and current phase of adolescence," she stated matter-of-factly.

Riley wasn't sure exactly what she had said, but she believed that Smackle was doing her best to compliment her so she graciously accepted her praise.

"Thank you. So, what brings you by?" she asked curiously.

This was the first time that Smackle had ever come of her own free will and not by invitation of some kind.

"How very direct of you, Riley. I respect that. May I sit?" she asked gesturing to the bay window. She'd heard Farkle and the girls talk about its special powers of friendship. She didn't actually believe in such things, but if by some chance she were wrong and it did somehow exist, she would gladly accept the effect of its legendary mystical powers.

"Of course," Riley agreed as Isadora took her seat and neatly smoothed out her skirt a second time before continuing her explanation.

"As you know, my mind is of a rather scientific nature. Facts, numbers, physics; these things all make sense to me. What does not make sense to me is people. Try as I might, I do not understand them. I do not understand why anyone would resign themselves to one day a year to express their feelings for someone of significance in their lives. I really cannot understand why they would choose to do so on a day that has nothing to do with love or romance, but rather a bloody historical event. Logically, it makes no sense and so I do not participate in such ridiculousness."

Riley nodded as she listened to Smackle's very eloquent rant on the meaning behind Valentine's Day. To be honest, she'd never given the holiday's origins much thought, but she could admit that Isadora's confusion was somewhat justified.

"So naturally, whenever Farkle asked me to attend the Valentine's dance I informed him of the baselessness for such a frivolous occasion, assuming that he would understand because he too, is of a logical and scientific mind. However, I now realize that in my habitual state of logical reasoning I may have perhaps disappointed Farkle in some way by not attending the event."

Riley hadn't even known that Farkle had asked Isadora to the dance. He'd never mentioned it to her or anyone else in the group. In fact, now that she really thought about it, he hardly ever mentioned her unless someone brought her up. That didn't concern Riley though. She had seen the way his entire face would soften and light up all at the same time whenever she was the subject of conversation. He obviously cared very deeply for her.

"Why would you think that? Did Farkle say something?"

Smackle shook her head, her long dark hair swaying from side to side.

"He hasn't said anything that insinuates displeasure. It's just a…feeling I have," she spoke the word feeling as if it were condition or a disease of some kind. "Farkle and I are very similar in mind. We both excel in science, math, and debate. We both have a fondness for insects and physics, and even though science dictates that being similar should cause us to repel one another…strangely it's the reverse that has occurred. It is our similarities that allow me to feel so comfortable with him. I suppose that's why I sometimes forget the many ways that Farkle differs from me. In some ways he is very much like you; sentimental and socially knowledgeable."

Riley wasn't sure how qualified she was for the label of socially knowledgeable, but again she felt that Smackle meant this as a compliment.

"While the Valentine dance held absolutely no interest or validation for me…"she hesitated a moment searching for the right words. She felt like she was constantly searching for the right words. "I fear that it may have meant something of emotional value to him that I may have overlooked in my linear way of thinking."

Her boyfriend was brilliant and logical, but he was also romantic. The beautifully organized and hand selected insect collection which he had presented her on one of their previous outings had more than proven that, as had his desire to hug and hold hands.

"Which is why I came to you for guidance. You are one of Farkle's best friends and if I might say so, extremely illogical in the pursuits of romance. I was hoping you might help me hypothesize a way in which to compensate for my poor observation in regards to this particular occasion?"

"You want me to help you plan a date for Farkle?" she asked quizzically.

Isadora nodded enthusiastically with a smile, "if it's not too much trouble," she stated emphatically.

Riley and Smackle spent the next hour discussing the ins and outs of Farkle Minkus and "nonsensical romance." Together they orchestrated an event that was within Isadora's comfort zone which Farkle would greatly appreciate.

Isadora politely thanked Riley and prepared to leave but something stopped her. She spun around and wrapped her arms awkwardly around the bubbly brunette for a moment.

"Thank you, Riley." She said sincerely before self-consciously releasing her.

Riley smiled brightly in return, knowing how difficult that had been for Smackle.

"I'm always happy to help a friend," she replied.

Isadora couldn't help but grin in response. She had always been intelligent. She had always been different, but the one thing she had never truly been until this year was someone's friend. Whether it made sense scientifically or not, she liked having friends.

A few hours later, Riley picked up her phone and called Farkle as previously agreed.

He was surprised to hear from her so soon, given the way he had forced her into coming clean with everyone the night before. Still, he was relieved to know that at least one of his best friends was still speaking with him.

"Hey Riley, he greeted as cheerfully as possible.

"Are you busy right now?" she asked.

"Kind of, yeah." He replied, though busy was a relative term that he was using very loosely at the moment.

"Well whatever you're doing I want you to drop it right now," she insisted in very unRileylike manner.

"Is everything okay?" he implored worriedly.

"Everything is fine, Farkle. I just need you to do something for me and it can't wait. It's really important."

After the night he'd had with Maya and the accusations she had spitefully thrown at him he wasn't in the mood for people or places. All he wanted was to hide in his room away from the world.

"If it's not an emergency-"

Riley sighed into the phone. "Ring Power!"

"Excuse me?" Was this payback for last night? No, Riley didn't do payback. Then what was this?

"You heard me, Farkle. I said ring power. You pushed me into doing something I didn't want to do because you wanted what was best for me. Well now I'm telling you to drop whatever you're doing, get dressed in your best formal wear and be at the planetarium in an hour. Please."

There was a brief pause on the end of the line.

"Okay, if you say to be there then I'll be there. Oh and Riley, you should know that I don't have the ring anymore. I gave it back to Maya. She didn't just take it off, I pushed her into it…by hurting her feelings."

Riley gasped at his confession.

"Farkle!"

"I know it was wrong. I know that. I was just desperate to end all the secrets and lying. I thought that I was doing the right thing."

Riley didn't like what Farkle had done but if anyone could relate to doing the wrong thing believing it was right, it would certainly be her. He would never have been in that position if she hadn't made that mistake first.

"I understand Farkle, and Maya will too."

He wasn't so sure about that. She hadn't seen the fury in Maya's eyes or heard the acid in her words. She had looked at him as if he had somehow betrayed her, because in her eyes he had.

Isadora stood in the center of planetarium, underneath the images of the stars and solar systems. It had required some finagling with the manager, but fortunately her reputation with NASA had more than ensured her a few hours of personal time. She smoothed the skirt of her green dress nervously as she waited for her boyfriend to arrive. Riley Mathews may not be a genius but this had been a truly inspired idea. The planetarium fused both their love of science and the conceptual romantic setting. There was soft lighting and melodic songs filling the background. It was just the kind of thing that men and women did for one another in those silly movies that all the girls her age loved to watch.

Farkle walked into the planetarium and was immediately in awe, not of the venue or the gesture, though it was certainly one for the record books, but merely at the vision of Isadora under the light of the universe. Each time he looked at her or listened to her he heard or saw something else that made him wonder how he could have ever denied her.

She waved shyly with that smile that made him feel words he couldn't even pronounce.

"Wow," he said as he brushed her hair from her face, "Smackle you are stunning."

He glanced around the room for the first time noticing the music, the refreshments, the stars overhead.

"What is all this?"

Isadora gestured with her hands to their surroundings.

"This is my apology, Farkle. I made an error in judgement because I didn't account for all of the facts. Logically, the holiday has no value. Every argument I made against it can be properly supported. However, I realize now that the validity of the occasion was not the issue at hand. You clearly desired to go to that dance last night, otherwise you would never have asked me to accompany you. Whether I understood the cause for the dance is irrelevant. It was important to you and therefore should have been important to me as well. Consequently I wished to amend my mistake and have attempted to do so with this rather silly, yet hopefully romantic gesture."

Farkle just stood there staring at the amazing young woman before him. He had been disappointed when Isadora had rejected his invitation but he hadn't held it against her. He adored everything about her and if part of being true to herself meant not celebrating Valentine's Day then he happily accepted that.

"Please say something?" she asked, growing anxious for some form of reaction or response.

He smiled warmly as he gazed into her dark mocha eyes.

"I'm sorry Isadora, it's just that I'm speechless. I can't believe that you would do all of this for me."

Finally she could breathe, knowing that he was pleased with her display of affection.

"Of course, Farkle. I care for you, very much and I wanted to show you just how much because that's what you do when someone is of great significance in your life."

That was one of the few things about feelings that she completely understood.

"Isadora," he ventured hesitantly.

"Yes, Farkle?"

He extended a hand to his beautiful caring girlfriend.

"May I have this dance?"

Normally this wasn't something that she would be comfortable with but she had discussed the subject with Riley earlier that day and been assured that very little skill or experience was required. She simply had to allow Farkle to lead.

"Yes, you may," she replied as she took his hand cautiously and they began to glide across the floor.

Much to Smackle's surprise, she found that she enjoyed this activity with Farkle.

"You should know that I didn't do all of this by myself. Our friend Riley assisted with the original idea and partial execution."

Farkle had suspected this. He appreciated all she had done, but nothing could take away the fervor he'd experienced knowing that Isadora had wanted to make him feel special.

He smiled at her choice of wording though.

"That's the first time you've ever called my friends your friends too," he pointed out as he twirled her beneath the virtual stars.

"I'm starting to believe they are. They too, seem to like me for me, not just because of my attachment to you or you to me. They embrace me as an individual, as well as our coupledom." She explained. "Of course, they would have to be wonderful for you to hold them in such high regard." She observed.

"I do care a great deal for my friends, and they are each wonderful in their own ways," he admitted, "but Isadora Smackle…even as a man of science I have no words or explanation that properly defines my feelings for you," he said as he leaned in for a soft gentle kiss.


	71. Chapter 71- The Common Thread

**Hello my wonderful readers, you! I apologize for neglecting this story so long. The final weeks of school are always so hectic and stressful, but goody goody for me, it's almost over. The song in this chapter and the last in Andrew Belle's Oh My Stars..I love love love this song. As always I love and adore you. Thank you for all your support! I write for me, but I post for you. You guys make this fun. Anyway, lets get back to the main event shall we?**

"Oh, my, my. Oh, my stars," Lucas hummed as his fingers absentmindedly mashed buttons on the video game controller in his hand.

Zay shot him a look of annoyance, demanding he get his head back in the game before the latest swarm of zombies managed to eat his face off.

The blonde haired boy shrugged with a sheepish grin of apology. His mind had been wandering all morning long back to the night before; to the image of a gorgeous brunette walking toward him, her dress and the stray stands of her hair billowing in the wind and the feel of her eyes seeing all the way through him as he'd leaned in to kiss her.

There was a part of him that wished he'd done it. He'd been waiting so long for his moment to finally come, but it seemed like there was always something in the way. Originally he had thought it would happen on their first date, but then Maya had seen Josh on the subway and he'd known Riley would never be able to be "in the moment" with him as long as her best friend was hurting. She had surprised him with a moment all her own, one he hadn't expected, one he still dreamt about, but it had been her moment, not his.

He'd considered the semi-formal as a second chance. In theory it was a perfect plan. He was going to pick her up from her apartment with flowers, because even though they weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend they were something special, and they were going together. Lucas didn't have an exact moment planned; maybe it would happen on the dance floor as he held her in his arms for the first time, or maybe it would come as he was walking her home after, but the potential was there. There was only one problem with his brilliant plan. He'd neglected to actually ask her, and apparently that was something she had needed from him.

So again he waited, hoping and praying for another opportunity. He'd thought Texas could be that opportunity, but he couldn't have been more wrong. As he'd looked into her eyes and told her how much she meant to him, how he never would have been able to face his fear or survive New York without her, he'd never been more sure that their moment would happen. Not there in front of all their friends, but maybe later that night if he could get her alone. Instead she'd shattered his world with four simple words.

You're my brother, Lucas.

There had been so many potential moments and every single one of them had passed him by. Not even twenty four hours ago he'd had her face in his hands ready to make his move and once again it hadn't been right. He had waited so long to kiss her and he wasn't about to ruin it by acting before they were both ready or getting impatient. They had made that mistake before when they'd allowed the school to pressure them into a title they hadn't been ready to accept. Maybe they weren't ready now either, but he liked to believe they were closer than they had been before.

While Lucas was in his own little world, Zay was violently attacking the buttons on his controller, tilting this way and that, muttering under his breath whenever he wasn't fast enough or grabbed the wrong weapon or was defeated by an adversary. He'd come over to blow off some steam and blow off some heads, but the longer he played the more agitated he became.

"If everything you said to me has been true, oh, maybe all my stars are leading me to you," Lucas hummed as he wore that besotted grin that only she could inspire.

Zay snapped his head in his friend's direction glaring daggers.

"Seriously man, you could at least pretend to be paying attention," he said as he pointed to the television screen, his game controller still in hand. "You know I can't get through this next level without your help. Dang zombies!"

The blonde boy's brows knit together, Zay wasn't usually this short tempered.

"I am paying attention," Lucas insisted causing him to huff in frustration.

"No, you're not. You're not thinking about the game. You're thinking about Riley. Know how I know that you're thinking about Riley? Cause you're singing that song AGAIN." He bellowed.

He'd called her Riley; no sugar cube, no cotton candy face, not little miss sunshine. Something was definitely going on with him.

"I was," Lucas asked.

That was the third time in the last hour that Zay had asked him to stop doing that. Lucas wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of his friend's request, he simply couldn't seem to think of Riley without that song popping into his head…and he couldn't stop thinking about Riley.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I really am trying not to."

Zay rolled his eyes, knowing in ten more minutes they'd probably be having this exact conversation for the twelfth time that day.

"Well try harder," he barked, before turning his eyes back to the screen.

Lucas sat up in his chair, really observing the boy sitting next to him.

"What's eating you?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"The zombies man! The zombies are eating me. You'd know that if you were paying attention to the screen instead of out there in la la land somewhere." He said as he pointed toward the TV.

His green eyes studied his friend once more. Something had Zay uncharacteristically wound tight, of that much he was certain. He didn't care that he'd been taking his frustrations out on him all day. How many times had he sat and taken Lucas's friendly fire for absolutely no reason at all? More times than either of them could probably count, he was willing to guess. Now that he was in control of his own emotions it was easy to see that Zay currently was not.

Suddenly the images on the screen froze solid.

Zay turned to see Lucas propped up on his knees with the remote in his hand.

"What the heck, man?" Zay knew what his buddy was doing and he wasn't in the mood. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think. He just needed to kill things.

"What's really going on with you?" Lucas implored.

He'd seen his friend upset before but he'd never seen him quite like this.

Zay shrugged noncommittally, "Nothing's going on with me. I just don't like having my face eaten is all."

Lucas wasn't buying that for a second. He'd known Zay long enough to know better. So he sat there patiently, waiting for Zay to break the silence, knowing how much he hated silence.

'Five, four, three, two,…" he counted internally.

"It's nothing, okay man. It's just, more the same." Zay said with a heavy sigh.

He hated that he'd been mistreating his oldest friend all day long. So the guy was on a Riley high, it wasn't the end of the world. Actually Zay was happy for his friend. After watching him mope around the last few months, it was good to see him with that dopey grin again. Any other day he would probably be giving Lucas a hard time about it, wagging his eyebrows and making suggestive comments. Any other day he'd be laughing off his troubles, but as the deadline grew closer it was becoming more difficult to hide behind his carefree persona.

Zay wasn't sure why he was letting this get to him so much. It wasn't as if this were a new argument. They'd had this same conversation a million times but it always ended the same exact way; with his father stating his expectations and expressing his eternal disappointment in his younger son.

Lucas nodded in understanding. He'd suspected that perhaps Zay's upcoming decision might have something to do with his sour mood.

"He's still riding you pretty hard about signing up, huh?" the fair haired boy concluded.

Zay sucked the inside of his cheek between his teeth, as if chewing on it. If there was anyone in the world that would understand his current dilemma, it was the person sitting next to him. It was one of the few common threads that bonded them; the disappointment of their fathers. Neither could ever be what was wanted or expected of them.

"Yeah, well, you know, Gotta uphold the family legacy," he said mocking his father's commanding tone. "Apparently I need to stop screwing around and step up so that he can finally be proud of me."

Lucas couldn't help but roll his eyes. He could practically hear the disapproval in those words.

They sounded just like something his own father would say to him.

He understood the desire to have your children follow in your footsteps. He could even understand pushing them because you genuinely believe that you're steering them toward what's best for them, but no matter how hard he had tried over the years he would never understand how tearing someone down was supposed to make them a better version of themselves. That wasn't parental concern it was nothing more than bullying; making someone feel so bad about themselves that you beat them down into submission.

How could that ever be confused with honor or integrity? How could anyone think that was the way to treat someone you're supposed to love?

"So what are you going to do?" Lucas inquired hesitantly.

This time Zay didn't need a moment to consider. He'd hand his mind made up for weeks and he'd told his father as much this morning. That was when the barking and guilt tripping had come into play.

"The only way to give him what he wants is to quit dance. Why should I give up something I love just to make him happy? I'm not. He's already got one perfect son. Let Gordon take on the family legacy if that's what he wants. As for me? I'm gonna do me." He insisted, fueled by determination to pursue his passion and resentment toward the man that had helped create him.

Lucas nodded again, clasping his hands as he considered his friend's words. He admired his strength of will, but he also knew that was only half the battle. Despite his impassioned speech, eventually the residual anger from that morning's altercation would subside and then it would be a lot harder to maintain that resolve.

"Okay, but are you really going to be able to go through with that? Because, as mad as you are with him right now, I know that there's a part of you that does actually care what he thinks and wants to make him proud of you. Are you going to be able to live with consequences of your choice, because we both know he's not going to take this with a grain of salt? He's going to punish you for not being what he wants you to be, possibly for the rest of your life. Are you willing to accept that?"

The blonde haired boy understood all too well that tiny little shred of your soul that clings to the childhood dream of your father being a hero and you being his greatest accomplishment. He also understood what it was like to realize the man you admired so much would never look at you that way; you're either a reflection or a burden to bear, but never an individual person with your own thoughts and feelings about things.

Not all fathers were this way. Over the years he'd met a lot of really nice fathers. There were men equal in his father's position without being equal in mentality or temperament, but Lucas didn't have one of those fathers. Zay had in the beginning. Lucas wasn't sure why that had changed or when but somewhere between when he'd left Texas and the Babineaux family had relocated to New York a change had obviously taken place.

Zay threw his hands up in the air. "What's the point? I could sign up and follow in the family footsteps. I could do everything that I'm supposed to but it still won't be enough because I'm still me and me is not good enough to him."

"You're dad loves you, Zay." That was more than Lucas could say for his own.

The boy sighed heavily again as he slouched back in his chair.

"I know that, Luke. It's just…I'm not who he wants me to be. He wants me to be a miniature version of him, like my brother, and I'm not. I'm still the son he raised me to be. I still believe in all the things that he taught me to believe in. I'm proud of my heritage. I just don't want to be them. I want to be me. I want the right to choose my own life. I think that's more than fair since I'm the one that's gotta live it."

"That sounds fair to me," Lucas said as he opened and then closed his hands again.

The two boys sat in silence a moment, both lost in thought. Zay watched his friend from the corner of his eye.

"So now that we've gotten the drama portion of today's event out of the way, why do you keep singing that song? I mean, I know it's related to our little sugar cube cause you can't wipe that dumb grin off your face, but what the heck happened to put you in such a good mood?"

Last he had heard Lucas was going to the dance with Maya to figure out his feelings, but today he'd had his Riley smile glued on. Clearly there were some blanks that needed filling in.

"It's a long story," Lucas stated as he pressed the pause button and the screen came roaring back to life.

"Come on, you know I'm a sucker for a good story." He said as he tilted his head toward his friend.

There was definitely no arguing that point. He thought the world of Zay, but he was by far the biggest gossip in the entire school, always stirring the pot.

The blonde haired boy sighed in resignation as he tried to figure out the best place to start.

"Okay, well, as you know Maya asked me to the dance so that we could figure out what we were once and for all. So I go and I'm standing there waiting, and she walks up and she looks…I mean the girl is gorgeous-"

Zay's eyes widened in shock and his hands flew up as if warding off Lucas's next words.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! I thought this was a Riley story. You're telling me Maya's the one that put that smile on your face?"

Lucas couldn't help but laugh at the question and its implications.

"Do you want to hear the story or don't you?" he asked.

"I don't know, do I?" Zay countered.

"You do," Lucas replied emphatically.

Zay lowered his hands, gesturing forward, "Alrighty then, proceed."

Lucas shook his head with a smirk before continuing.

"So I'm at the dance with Maya and she looks incredible and we're dancing and for the first time we're talking, like really talking, about things we know and feel about each other. We start talking about our friendship and how we care about each other and then we get to that night in Texas-"

"And the almost kiss moment that wasn't really a moment," Zay blurted out.

"Yeah, that. So we're talking and we realize that, that's all it was; a moment. And that one moment doesn't change years of feelings. She doesn't feel that way about me and I don't feel that way about her-"

"So you guys are just friends?" Zay inquired seeking clarification.

Lucas nodded as he continued.

"Yes, good friends who care about each other. Then she tells me something else."

This time Lucas pauses, anticipating another remark from Zay that surprisingly doesn't come.

After agonizing silence he breaks.

"So what did she tell you that's got you all giddy?" Zay burst out, noting the way his friend is now grinning from ear to ear.

"Riley doesn't like me as a brother. She never did. She still has feelings for me, just like I do for her."

Zay's mouth formed an upside down u shape. Riley had lied about her feelings for Lucas. That would make a lot of sense. That little declaration had come completely out of left field and the girl hadn't been the same since.

"That still doesn't explain the song," he pointed out.

"Riley came to the dance. She was going to tell me and Maya the truth but we already knew by then. I was outside so she found me first. We talked, well, first we argued then we talked, and finally we danced." Lucas said, that ridiculous smile still firmly in place.

Zay nodded before asking the question on everyone's mind, as per usual.

"So what happens now?" he asked.

Lucas turned to face him; his eyes gleaming.

"Now I earn her back." He said triumphantly.

Zay wiggled his eyebrows, teasing his friend, "well, alright then."


	72. Chapter 72- Paradise Lost

**Alright my wonderful readers, this is the last chapter before their big return to school. Riley's mind is on figuring out her and Lucas. Lucas's mind is on earning Riley. Where is Maya's head at the rest of the weekend? And where will we go from here?**

 **Thank you so much for all your love and support! I truly don't know how to ever thank you all enough.**

Maya strode purposefully down the streets of the city, her pace quickening with every step. She needed the speed and the crisp morning air to keep the memories at bay. The impact from her revelation the night before had left her shaken at best. Though she'd tried desperately to leave those thoughts and feelings behind her this morning, she could already feel them breathing down her neck, chasing her down. Again she hastened toward her destination; a place to seek solace from the storm of emotions she wasn't ready or willing to face.

As she walked into the building she stood there expecting that familiar wave of calm to wash over her. In just a moment the entire world would stop spinning just for her. There would be no Lucas or Riley, no Farkle or confusing feelings; there would only be clarity. Everyone had a place they went whenever their mind was troubled and their heart broken. Farkle had his science to help him make sense of all the chaos in the world. Riley and Lucas had their faith. Maya had her art. She glanced around the room, taking it all in. This was her church, her sanctuary.

This was the one place in the world where nothing bad could ever reach her.

Slowly she began making the rounds from one painting to the next, waiting for that sense of peace she so desperately needed to find. The last time she had been here, was opening night with Shawn. He'd surprised her with tickets to the opening and even with her momentary breakdown outside, it had easily been one of the very best nights of her life.

She could clearly remember the feeling that had swept over her as she'd admired the work of Leonid Afremov for the first time. His paintings had each touched her heart in one way or another. His use of color and lighting, the way he made the objects and people in his artwork come to life had left her in awe and reverence.

The painting in front of her at present was not having the same effect unfortunately. She'd seen it before, that first night. She remembered marveling at his vivid use of color in the background and the way it seemed to reflect off of what was meant to be the wet ground, but now as she stared at the painting entitled Dance Under the Rain, all she could think about was how the couple in the picture resembled two of the people she had come here to forget.

The man in the painting was holding an umbrella up with one hand and holding a petite brunette close to his body with the other arm. The woman in the picture had her foot up in "popping" position like one of those women in those black and white movies Riley enjoyed so much. The couple was alone, among all the vivid colors and the reflecting light just dancing in the rain. It even sounded like something they would do.

How had she not noticed that the last time she was here?

The blonde rolled her eyes at the image.

'Who really dances in the rain, anyway,' she thought to herself as she ran a hand through her flaxen tangles in frustration before moving on to the next painting.

The next piece was entitled Rainy Wedding. What was with this guy and rain? Was that the only thing he knew how to paint? Again there was a pretty brunette, this time in a wedding dress. Ironically though, the man in this picture had much darker hair. She smirked as the image of Riley and Charlie Gardner dancing in the rain on their wedding day came to mind. Maybe she would find out when his birthday was and replicate it for him, as a thank you for throwing Huckleberry in her face the night before.

With her hands in her pockets she meandered to the next piece. This one didn't have any couples or rain, just a lot of pretty colors and the Eiffel Tower. Finally, a piece that didn't remind her of Riley or Lucas…though it did remind her of someone else she didn't want to think about at the moment, and the promise he'd made to take her to Paris someday.

She threw her head back and huffed in an agitated manner. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be lost in the beauty and wonder of the art. Instead everything she was seeing had managed to evoke the exact thoughts and feelings she'd fled here to escape in the first place.

Maya hustled through the exhibit to the other side of the room. Maybe if she could get away from all the couples and the rain she could do what she came here to do? Perhaps it was only the reminders tainting her haven and not the relentless taunting of her own inner workings against her. She paused in front of a painting of a small sailboat floating on a sea of calm. Her eyes ticked to side panel where the piece was titled Blue Paradise.

It looked like paradise.

It looked like that elusive feeling she'd been searching for since her eyes had first opened and she'd remembered the events from the night before. But even here, in what she considered the most sacred of places, staring at some of the most beautiful artwork she'd ever seen; even without rain and the couples and the foreign places she'd most likely never see, she still couldn't shake that feeling of restlessness.

She needed to move.

She needed to act, to _do_ something.

She needed to find a way to rid herself of these useless thoughts and feelings that would only bring more pain, and there was only one way that Maya knew how to do that. It wasn't enough to immerse herself in the work of someone else. She needed to create.

After all, Maya's art was the only thing that had ever truly belonged to just her.

Twenty minutes later, across town, the golden haired beauty found herself staring at an empty canvass. It had never been this difficult before. No matter how messed up things might have been, art was the one constant in her life that had never disappointed her. She would pick up a brush or a pencil and the image would simply come.

Why was nothing happening the way it was supposed to?

It was supposed to be over.

For Lucas it was simple, he and Maya were friends, had always been friends, and would never be anything more than friends. That was the label that she had agreed to out on the dance floor. In fact, she'd insisted upon it when she'd revealed her best friend's true feelings for him and then sent him running after her. He had hesitated and she had been the one to give him the reassurance he needed to walk out the door, leaving her alone.

In that moment everything had seemed resolved.

Lucas wanted Riley.

Riley wanted Lucas.

And Maya had been okay with that.

At least she thought that she had been.

As she'd sat there thinking about the conversation they had just had and the conversation he was most likely having at that moment with her best friend, she'd honestly thought she was okay with all of it. It may not have been the ending she had been hoping for but it was one she could accept.

She'd thought back to the moment that Riley had made the choice to give Lucas up; the look on her face as she had called him her brother and that phony smile she had been wearing ever since. Giving up Lucas had hurt the brunette far more than it had Maya in that moment.

That had to mean something, didn't it?

Riley and Lucas had always been so certain of their feelings for one another, while Maya had never been nearly as sure. Even when she had pulled his face close to hers to prove her point, the curiosity of what it might have been like to kiss him was there, but there was no longing of any kind. It wasn't as if she'd never had a moment of curiosity where a friend was concerned before. It wasn't the first time that an unexpected moment had caused her to question everything either.

Was this incident with Lucas really that different?

It hadn't seemed to be at the time.

She kept coming back to Shawn's words on the subject of feelings; how you could like someone in different ways, and each way meant something completely different. Whatever part of her had wanted Lucas Friar, she'd been convinced that her heart and soul were completely uninvolved.

Maya bolted from her seat, a ball of pent up energy. She began pacing the room, hoping the movement would somehow release the tension that had been building up inside of her. She hadn't felt like this since the day she'd gotten that letter; return to sender. Her hands began to trace the shelf of art supplies as her thoughts began to wander through the dark and dangerous back alleys of her mind..

She thought about the first words that she had ever spoken to him.

 _Hi, I'm Maya._

 _We should go out._

 _You make me happy._

 _You don't pay enough attention to me._

If she'd only knew then what she knew now…

There were so many different emotions coursing through her; varying shades of anger, pain, and sadness, all bleeding into one.

Rage.

Her hand reached for the first thing it could find and threw it across the room.

' _I know that I liked the new boy and you stepped back for me.'_

Another item flew across the room.

' _Riley stepped back because she thought that's what I did. She thought that I spent the last year and half dying inside watching them together, and that's not how it was.'_

Her hands groped for something, anything else.

' _Why do you think she did all this? Not for her; she did it for you, to make you happy. All she thinks about is your feelings and you can't even factor hers in?!'_

Another object went flying.

' _I never considered what you want, and what you want is her.'_

' _What about us? Obviously some part of me wants you too, or what happened that night wouldn't have happened.'_

The shelf now bare she reached for the small cans of paint on the second shelf.

' _Are you thinking about kissing me right now?'_

 _'No…'_

A can of paint sailed across the room as well.

' _You both chose her. So did I…so I guess Riley wins it all, and she doesn't even have to play the game to do so.'_

Then another can…

' _My growing affection for Smackle could never negate my first true loves.'_

' _I love you, Maya Penelope Hart.'_

And another…

She thought of that night by the campfire as Lucas's words to Riley echoed in the background.

' _It wasn't Maya that I was reacting to, it was the situation. It was part of myself,'_

' _I couldn't kiss her because she isn't you,'_

She'd always known that she would lose to Riley. After all, in what universe could the moon ever hope to outshine the sun? But to know that she had been there with him in that moment, while he'd apparently only been trapped in that moment with himself?

Those words had hurt so much to hear.

She glanced over to the canvass, which was no longer bare thanks to her destructive tendencies. Splatters of grey, light and dark blue now covered the once white page. Maya couldn't help but think again of the sailboat on the sea, the calm paradise that was just beyond her reach. As if led by some mystic force she bent down to pick up some of the brushes and sponges she'd so carelessly tossed aside before making her way the splattered canvass and smudging the splatters together.

She'd found her inspiration.

Maya's hands took on a life of their own, as she worked effortlessly translating the image in her mind to the page in front of her. Life was not a journey of smooth sailing. It was cloudy skies and wind torn sails. It was waves that tossed you this way and that as you struggled to stay afloat. It was losing your anchor when you needed it most.

Without the anger, only heartbreak and disappointment remained.

It was supposed to be over.

That was the only reason she had asked him to that stupid dance to begin with was so they could finally figure out what all those little moments between them had meant and move forward once and for all. After months of walking around in state of constant confusion everyone had finally managed to make sense of their feelings.

For Lucas, it was over.

For Riley, it was over.

For Maya, it was just beginning.


	73. Chapter 73- Love & War

**Thank you again so much for your patience with me and your continued interest in my work! It truly means more than I can say, especially right now. I am so thankful to be part of this fandom and to have such amazing and loyal readers. You guys know exactly how to make my day. I promise someday soon I will be able to post more regularly but until that day please bear with me I promise there are still many twists and turns to come ;)**

 **I adore you all!**

Riley couldn't help but glance over at the bay window as she prepared for her Monday morning. It was supposed to be just another day but it didn't feel like one. It felt more like stepping into a new world. Wasn't that exactly what she was doing? Now that she really thought about everything that had happened from the end of seventh grade until this present moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she had ever stepped into the same world twice. It seemed to be constantly changing on her and her friends and this past weekend had proven to be no exception.

She'd known that yet another transformation of their world was on the horizon when Lucas had agreed to be Maya's date to the Valentine's dance. That was the night they were going to decide what it was that they felt for one another and what they wanted to be. The young girl had been doing everything in her power to mentally and emotionally prepare herself for the Monday morning when Lucas and Maya would announce that they had decided to make it official by becoming a couple. Much to her surprise, that hadn't happened.

Instead Lucas and Maya had come to the conclusion that weren't ever going to be more than good friends. She still wasn't sure how they had come to that decision or why. Her first instinct upon hearing the news had been to run to Maya, but Lucas had asked her not to. Though she adored the girl who was like a sister to her, she'd found herself sitting on the steps with the boy she'd spent so many months trying not to want, as he confessed his feelings and pleaded with her to give in to her own which she'd been discreetly harboring ever since that night in Texas.

Though she felt lighter as the burden of her secret had been lifted from her shoulders, there was a new weight laid upon them in the form of a choice that now needed to be made. The last time Riley had made a choice that affected each of them she hadn't chosen nearly as wisely as she'd thought at the time. Their once concrete foundation had begun to crack and painful truth was that the world hadn't done this to them. Feelings hadn't even done this to them. She had.

Their world had shifted and altered enough times for her to realize that just because something had gone back to the way it was before didn't mean that everything else automatically would as well. Even if they could somehow step back into the world they had been living in before her fateful decision, there was no guarantee they would still fit there. They weren't the same people anymore.

Riley didn't know what was going to happen now or who they would become because of this latest shift but the one thing that she knew for certain was that she didn't want any more lies or secrets between her and the people she cared about. She had wanted to step into this new world with a clean conscience and her best friend by her side. Now the moment of truth had come and Maya was nowhere to be seen.

Giving her best friend space was not a concept either girl was familiar with. It had taken everything within Riley not to go hunting the petite blonde down when she had failed to respond to her calls or messages. Her insecurity had instantly begun whispering in her ear that perhaps things were not as peaceful and resolute as they had appeared, but instead she'd chosen to do something she hadn't tried in a rather long time and trust her friend to know what she needed for herself.

She had to believe that Maya would come to her whenever she was ready.

Still, each morning she awoke early and kept her watchful eye on the window, hoping that today would be the day Maya would return and they could begin the healing process. She had to believe that once her deception was revealed and they began talking through things that they would be able to find their way back to one another and eventually become Maya and Riley again. She would simply have to be patient until that day came.

Her phone began vibrating against her nightstand where it lay charging. As she read the incoming message she couldn't help but smile.

Maybe she had been wrong before.

Maybe this was how things had always been meant to be after all.

"Mom, Dad, I'm going to head out early." She announced as she bounced down the stairs.

* * *

Maya stood alone in the empty hallway, staring at the blank wall in front of her, wondering if she had bitten off more than she could chew. When Ms. Kossal had explained that she and two other students had been selected for the yearly tradition of designing a mural and creating it for future students to see, she'd instantly felt queasy. She enjoyed having her talent validated, but once people know you are capable of greatness that becomes what they expect of you, and Maya had a love, hate relationship with expectations.

She huffed in frustration as she sat down and began trying to sketch out some amazing idea worthy of the task she'd been given. Unfortunately, she found herself struggling once again. It was growing increasingly difficult to find that place within herself where her talent and inspiration were hidden. Art was the one thing she had that made her special. It was the one thing everyone noticed and praised about her.

Without it, what would she have? Who would she be, if not the talented artist?

A frustrated hand ran through her long golden hair as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing the doubts in her mind to be silent. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. Her creativity was a vital defining feature of her soul. It was part of her and for that reason could not be lost or stolen. She repeated those words in her head, as if doing so would somehow make them true, because if they weren't then she had nothing.

She would be nothing.

And wasn't that everyone's biggest fear in one way or another?

Riley was insecure.

Lucas was Mr. Perfect.

Billy was jealous.

Farkle was nothing.

And Maya…Maya was broken.

Didn't all of their flaws spawn from the same evil seed?

The belief that they didn't have enough to offer as they were…

Maya groaned as her sketch pad went sailing against the empty wall while her best friend watched silently from behind.

"How long have you been standing there?" the blonde muttered.

The tall brunette shrugged her shoulders, though Maya couldn't see the gesture with her back turned.

"Not long." She assured.

Just long enough to see that her best friend was not in a good place this morning.

Riley had been overjoyed to receive Maya's invitation to meet before school. She had been prepared to confess her poor judgment and hypocrisy to her friend and do whatever was necessary to earn her forgiveness, but after seeing the sketch pad go flying across the hall she was beginning to consider saving that conversation for another day.

"Ms. Kossal wants me to come up with a special design to put on this wall. I'm having trouble figuring out what that should be. Whatever it is, it has to be something mind blowing and really amazing…" the blonde trailed off, holding back the darkest thoughts currently swimming about her head.

Three footsteps forward and Riley had joined Maya on the floor in the hallway.

"You'll figure it out and it will be everything you want it to be." She said taking her hand and lifting her best friend's chin to meet her brown eyes.

The blonde shook her head, her blue orbs clouded with confusion.

"Why do you always do that?"

The brunette gave her head a tilt as she considered Maya's question.

"Do what?" she asked quizzically.

"Believe in me. I'm your bad influence. I'm the girl whose own father didn't even want her, I'm just an accessory to the Riley Mathews package deal. Why do you believe that I'm anything more than that?"

For a reason Riley couldn't understand, Lucas's words came back to her, the day he'd caught her singing in her room. Here Maya was putting herself down, just as Riley had done. She'd never allow anyone to talk about those she loved that way, so why did she do it to herself? Why did Maya?

"Because you're my best friend, Maya. You may be my "bad influence" but you're not a bad person. And if your father had ever actually gotten to know you he would want you in his life because everyone that meets you does. You are not an accessory. You're my sister. You're family."

Maya nodded with a small sad smile. What had she ever done to deserve this little ray of sunshine? Sisters should share their secrets. She knew that, but she also knew that Riley had sacrificed enough for her already. She had put Maya's feelings ahead of her own, and as much as she wished she could say otherwise, Maya couldn't think of a single example of when she had been willing to do the same.

"I wasn't a very good sister to you this year." She admitted shamefully.

She was glad that they were doing this here.

She would hate to have started this lie to her best friend in their special place.

"Maya-"

The blonde threw her hand up signaling that she wanted Riley to listen.

"You should know that Lucas and I figured some stuff out at the dance Friday. What I figured out is that you guessed wrong in Texas. I never stepped back from Huckleberry. I don't think I ever even really wanted him." She was so committed to that statement she almost managed to convince herself. "And I know that he never wanted me either…" her mind momentarily drifted back to the words she had overheard that night. At least that part was completely true. "So if there's a chance that I guessed wrong about you and you decide that he's not a brother, I get it."

Was this moment really happening? Had Maya honestly just given Riley her blessing to explore her relationship with Lucas? Why would she do that?

"Why would you assume I like Lucas?"

Did she already know the truth about Riley's feelings? She really hoped not. It had been horrible enough that Lucas had heard those words from someone else, she didn't want that to be the case with Maya too.

Maya could have confronted Riley about the lie, but she didn't want to. Doing that would only make Riley question the sincerity of her own confession and that was the last thing that she wanted. She remembered how her best friend had offered to reject Lucas because he hadn't wanted her the year before when she'd asked him out solely to push them forward. She'd done it again when she had realized how Maya felt, long before she'd discovered it for herself. She couldn't let Riley step back yet again.

That wouldn't help anyone now.

"Because I know what it's like to doubt yourself. You told me that I liked him and I believed you even though it didn't feel true, because I thought we could still read each other. But you were wrong and I finally figured that out. So if him being a brother doesn't feel true to you and you only believed it because I said so, then you should probably take a second look at your feelings for Ranger Rick. I could have been wrong too."

They both sat there in silence. Maya played with a strand of her hair as she wondered how Riley would choose to respond. The brunette stared down at her hands, questioning how much she should say. Finally, she glanced up to meet her best friend's gaze, twirling her thumbs around one another as she spoke timidly.

"You were wrong…I just didn't know how to tell you…especially once I thought you liked him." She said as she brushed a chestnut strand of hair behind her ear, bracing herself for how Maya would react now that she knew what Riley had done.

The blonde sucked in her bottom lip a moment as she considered her reply.

"Well, it turns out Dudley Do-right isn't really my type, so he's all yours," she stated, patting her best friend's leg before standing up and offering her hand, which Riley happily accepted.

Riley examined her friend carefully. She'd imagined this conversation at least a thousand different ways but in her scenarios Maya was always upset with her for not being honest. Why didn't she seem shocked or angry?

Her brown eyes ticked back down to the sketch pad in the floor.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" she implored cautiously.

Maya knew what she was asking and flashed her best fake smile in response.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just nervous. I really want this piece to be a good one."

Riley was skeptical of her reasoning. It wasn't like Maya to be out of touch all weekend long or to be so calm about Riley choosing to keep something from her. The last time she'd done that Maya had come to her a mixture of anger and tears. This time Maya didn't seem to feel anything about what she had done.

"There you go again, assuming you know what she's thinking," Riley reprimanded herself.

If they were ever going to get past what had happened they were going to have to trust one another to mean what they said. It wasn't impossible that she was simply nervous about this design. It was by far Maya's most ambitious undertaking.

She could also still be upset about her fight with Farkle…apparently he'd said some rather unkind things in order to obtain her ring.

"We should probably get going" the brunette said as she pointed behind her in the direction of her father's classroom.

"You go on ahead. I'll meet you in there. I just want to work on this a little longer." The blonde insisted.

There were still many things that Riley wanted to say and many questions she would like to ask, but students would soon be arriving and their day would begin. The most important thing was that they were finally being honest with one another. The rest could wait.

* * *

Cory was already standing behind his desk, preparing for yet another day of enlightening young minds when his daughter walked into his classroom wearing a rather perplexed expression. He knew that look well, and he didn't like it at all. Every time he saw that look it meant something was about to happen…usually because Riley had caused it to.

"Oh no," he mumbled as he rifled through the papers in his briefcase.

She strode up to his desk with her doe eyes and innocent smile that he'd first fallen in love with the day the nurse had placed her in his arms.

"Hello to you too daddy," she beamed in his direction.

Cory nodded his acknowledgement as he continued his busy work.

"Morning sweetheart, where were you off to so early this morning?"

There was only one of two possible answers that would inspire that expression and quite frankly he wasn't fond of either scenario at the moment.

"I went to meet Maya," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

It wasn't that long ago she had spent every morning with the sassy blonde. It wasn't an incredibly new or difficult concept, yet for some reason her father's face suddenly reminded her of Auggie whenever he was forced to drink cough syrup.

Again he nodded, knowing he had to tread carefully where Maya was concerned. He loved the girl as if she were his own. He'd practically helped raise her, but over the course of the year he had watched the friendship take a turn; one that worried him exceedingly. His daughter had been shrinking, withering. Of course, he had seen it, but he'd felt powerless to stop it. Riley had been determined to sacrifice herself and nothing he had said or done had been able to veer her from her chosen path.

"How did that go?" he asked, his voice rising slightly in tone.

She brushed her hair back nervously before daring to meet her father's gaze.

"I don't know if I should talk to you about this…"

His jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide.

"You can't tell me? You know you can tell me anything, Riley. You can. You can, now tell me, why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you tell me that you couldn't tell me?" He began asking, each question spoken quicker than the last.

She grimaced at his immediate meltdown.

"It's just that…it involves Lucas…"

Cory grasped for his heart and let out a gasp, his mind automatically jumping to the absolute worst conclusions.

"I'll kill him!" he declared in a demon-like voice.

Riley's hands instantly began trying to hold her father back behind his desk.

"No, no, daddy. Nothing happened. We just talked about him, that's all."

Nothing happened. Those two words brought him back to reality. He knew someday, something would happen with someone…probably Lucas, but for now she was still his little girl and nothing had happened yet.

He attempted to regain his composure. Now that his moment of neurosis had passed he had to pull himself together. He wasn't a father in this moment. He was a teacher.

…wasn't he?

"So you had a good talk with Maya?"

His young daughter hesitated momentarily before her shoulders slumped and she heaved a sigh.

"I don't know. I think so. We talked about Lucas and how she doesn't really like him, you know, like that," she decided to leave out the part where she still liked Lucas and Maya had given her permission to move forward if that was what she wanted to do…not that she knew what she wanted to do. "And how she's freaking out about the big art project she's working on, but other than that everything is good."

Cory nodded once more, "So what's the problem?"

Riley tossed her head back in frustration.

"I don't know. I just feel like something is off with her. She says that she's fine, but she hasn't talked to me or any of our friends all weekend and when I saw her she was upset and threw her sketch pad which she usually doesn't do-"

She froze midsentence when she caught a glimpse of her father's skepticism.

"We are talking about the same girl that covered you in paint when you forced her to show her art and dumped a smoothie on Lucas's head…actually I have no idea why she did that. Why did she do that?"

"Because she was mad at me and I have no idea about the smoothie, I just think maybe there's something else going on with her. Farkle said some not so nice things to her last Friday-"

"And there it is," he muttered under his breath just loud enough to be heard.

He loved that his little girl had such a big heart, but he was beginning to worry that when teaching her about compassion, he'd forgotten to mention balance.

"Sounds to me like that's something she and Farkle need to sort out for themselves," he said, hoping she would take the hint and let it go, but of course she was half him and half Topanga so there was no chance of that.

"But I only want to help."

It was kind of her fault that they were fighting to begin with. Farkle would never have said any of those horrible things to Maya had she not lied about her feelings, and then forced him to stay silent when he'd put it all together.

Cory looked at his daughter in that knowing way of his, trying to remember what it had been like to be her age, wondering if he and his wife had once been just as selfless as the young girl standing in front of him.

"You know Riley, it's all well and good to want world peace…but the country that tries to save all the others, will spend its entire existence at war. Just…please think about that before you make any decisions."

This time it was Riley's turn to nod as she considered her father's advice. He had always taught her to reach out to people, to help whenever possible. It was the secret of life: people change people, and they did so by asking what us can do for a them. She was one of the fortunate ones. All she was trying to do was give back a little happiness. Was her dad really telling her that was wrong?

Or was there another lesson he wanted her to take from all of this?


	74. Chapter 74- Things that must be Earned

**A/N: Updates as promised. I apologize that they took so long, but we are moving forward I assure you. Thank you so much for your follows, faves, reviews, and recommendations! I am humbled and flattered and eternally grateful! Love you all!**

Farkle Minkus sat in the science lab as he did most mornings before school, replaying every moment of his very loud and accusatory disagreement with Maya from the week before. It wasn't as if the concept of arguing was something new to him. In fact, the lab had been a place of solace from his parents' incessant bickering for the last three years. The claims of embezzlement and pending trial date, however, had brought with them an unfamiliar calm over the Minkus residence. Now that his family seemed to be bonding cohesively, it was his friendships that appeared to remain in a constant state of instability.

How could Riley and Maya both develop romantic feelings for the same person?

For as long as he had known Riley and Maya they had been a complementary stable compound composed of opposite characteristics that made them perfectly suited for one another. It only stood to reason that because of their vastly differing personalities that they would find themselves attracted to different potential mates as well. Yet somehow the presence of their mutual friend Lucas Friar had managed to upset that balance.

Ever since their visit to Lucas and Zay's original homeland Farkle had been conducting what could only be described as a tight wire act between the girls and their conflicting interests. He knew from personal experience that feelings were not necessarily dictated by science. Like forces repelled in the world of science, but in life that wasn't always the case.

Riley and Maya were opposites and until this year they had always functioned as science suggested they should. Farkle and Isadora were like forces. Their relationship defied the very law that stated only opposites could attract and they were both happier for it. Which made Farkle wonder which of the two was right? Was it possible that life was merely attempting to counteract a bond that never should have been to begin with or perhaps was it that their friendship model was never as stable as it had once appeared?

The young man glanced up from his book to the clock on the wall with a sigh. Eight o clock would soon be upon them and he was no more prepared to face either of the girls than he had been the previous weekend when he'd first began his research into the feminine psyche. If there was any kind of logical explanation as to why this conundrum had occurred or how the balance could possibly be restored, he had yet to discover it. Unfortunately, he'd run out of time.

Ready or not, it was time to face the girls and the consequences of his choices over the weekend. For every action there was an equal and opposite reaction. He had chosen to force the truth into the light, knowing there was a chance that all three of his friends would hate him for the role he had played. He still believed that he had done the right thing, though over the last few days he'd often found himself asking if there might not have been a better way. If there had been he couldn't see it at the time.

Farkle closed his book and exited the classroom, his mind now lost in thoughts of the girls and his own equilibrium within their equation. Though he cared for the girls as individuals for their own unique characteristics, it was the combination of the two that he had valued most. Having the two of them together was like holding the entire universe in one's hands; not just the light or the dark, but every shade in between. Together Riley and Maya were the universe and for that reason they belonged to one another more than anyone else. Nothing and no one should ever come between them, but something had and in his attempts to remedy this he'd found himself straying from the foundation of their friendship; the foundation that they always remain equal. Together they were the universe, but a universe without balance was nothing more than chaos.

As he turned the corner he caught an exemplary visual of a universe with no balance as he witnessed Maya Hart on her hands and knees attempting to chase down her personal belongings as throngs of inconsiderate fellow students shuffled through the hall, scattering them just beyond her reach. Silently he reached down and began collecting items as she continued her own pursuit, unaware of his presence.

Two minutes, five tops; that's how long she had left her things unattended in what had at the time been a completely empty hallway. Five minutes to run to the art room and back only to find the hallway bustling with the traffic of students making the trek from their lockers to their classrooms and all of her stuff kicked to the four corners of the earth.

"Unbelievable," she muttered as she climbed through the legs of other kids passing her by.

It wasn't a big thing, her books and colored pencils being strewn about the hallway. It was just another thing, one more little thing to add to the ever growing pile of things that were slowly crushing her to death. Over the course of three days she had realized she had feelings for yet another person who would never return them, she had lied to her best friend's face about those feelings, and worst of all she had been struggling to find inspiration where it had once been abundant.

It was all too much, and as she caught sight of her sketch pad being trampled just a few feet ahead of her it was enough to move her to tears. She could pay the fines for the books in the library. She could replace the colored pencils. The sketch pad, however, was filled with pages of her heart and soul. Those couldn't be replicated and without inspiration she might never fill another sketch pad.

Maya swallowed her sorrow, fighting back the emotions threatening to surface. She wasn't about to fall apart here in front of everyone like this. The sketch pad was just a book. Lucas was just a boy. The struggle to paint was just a phase. None of these little things were worth crying over, even if their combined weight was unbearable.

"Maya," she heard his voice cut through the crowd.

'This is really not my morning,' she thought to herself as she looked up to find Farkle standing over her with some books and colored pencils in his hands.

The blonde scrambled to her feet, her eyes glued to her personal belongings. Of course he was here. He was here and he was helping her…only right now she didn't want anyone's help. She didn't want to be seen, especially not by one of the few people in the world that could actually read her.

"What do you want Farkle?" she snapped at him.

Clearly she was still angry from their previous altercation and frustrated over her current situation, he thought to himself as he noted the teardrops pooling in the corners of her gemstone eyes.

"I saw you were having some trouble accumulating your belongings- "he started to explain, but she cut him off at the knees, unwilling to listen.

"You don't get to do that! You don't get to throw me under the bus for Riley and then turn around and try to save me. You chose Riley, so go; find her, congratulate her, hold her hand while she crosses the hallway like a toddler! I don't care what you do as long as you're out of my face and out of my way!" she sniped, hating herself for every syllable, but unwilling to apologize or take it back.

Farkle nodded in silent understanding trying to recollect the advice in the book before speaking. Women needed to talk about their feelings and have them validated. They didn't want or need men to solve their problems they simply wanted to be heard. He just needed to show Maya that he heard what she was saying and admit that just because she wasn't right didn't mean that she was wrong either.

"Maya, I know that you're feeling hurt and you have every right to feel that way- "

She snickered at his reply before offering one of her own.

"Well thank you so much for giving me permission Farkle!"

The boy's expression grew quizzical. That was not what was supposed to happen. Was it possible that he hadn't executed the technique properly?

"I didn't mean that you needed my permission. I only meant that it's a perfectly natural emotional response and emotions are not dictated by logic so there is no incorrect way to feel."

There, he had validated her emotions. Now she would open up to him and they could move past this unfortunate misunderstanding. Instead she reached out and violently ripped her objects from his hands.

"Just give me my stuff and go somewhere far away. I'm feeling illogical and emotional and there's no telling what I might do to you if you don't get away from me."

Farkle lowered his head in resignation as he slowly trenched forward. Whatever she thought he had done wrong, she wasn't ready to forgive him just yet.

She stood with a handful of colored pencils in one hand and a textbook in the other, feeling defeated. Another student walked by, kicking the sketch pad even further ahead as she fought the urge to follow. Even if she was able to gather up everything there was no way she'd be able to reach it before any damage could be done.

Farkle too saw the thoughtless student punt her sketch pad and began weaving through the masses to retrieve it. He may not understand her as well as he once had, but he knew enough to know that it was her most prized possession other than the locket she'd gotten from her mother, and losing it would kill a tiny piece of her. He couldn't and wouldn't allow that to happen.

Riley, Zay and a few other students were already seated when he arrived to Mr. Mathews classroom. The brunette turned around to face him, her hands clasped on the back of her chair. It was the first time they'd come face to face since he had ring powered her the previous Friday night.

"Good morning," she chirped with a smile and for just a moment Farkle felt some reassurance that something good had come from whatever poor decisions he had made.

Zay lifted himself from his seat and came over to sit on the desk behind Farkle just as he pulled out the book he had been reading earlier, desperate to understand what he had done wrong in the hallway with Maya.

"Uh, what in the heck is this," he asked as he lifted the book from the young Minkus's hands as if it were contaminated.

"Looks like a book to me," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders, but Zay was not about to let it go so easily.

"Looks like gibberish to me," the class comedian remarked as he continued to examine the pages.

Truthfully, he wasn't far off.

"Actually it's Finnish," Farkle corrected as he reached out to repossess his mother's copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

"Didn't they have a copy in English you could have read?" he asked curiously, completely unaware of what teasing potential lay in the item of discussion.

Farkle turned the page with another irritated sigh.

"Quite frankly the English version made even less sense, if that's possible." He muttered in defeat.

After months of attempting to understand two of his best friends he had finally come to the conclusion that he needed help. Yes, he was a genius. Yes, he had been an expert in all things Riley and Maya, but feelings had changed them. Ever since they had opened themselves up emotionally none of their choices, not even his own, made any sense to him anymore. Baffled by this new variable, he'd done what any decent man of science would do; consult an expert.

Enter the literary work of Dr. John Gray, a relationship counselor with Ph. D. in psychology. Theoretically speaking, the book in his hands was supposed to act as a window into the inner workings of the two women he had loved most of his life and allow him to interpret their intent behind what appeared to him the most illogical of thought processes and responses to outside stimuli. So far all it had managed to do was give him a massive migraine.

As time for the bell drew nearer the classroom began to fill with students. One by one the empty desks became taken by the classmates who sat in them, one in such a hurry he managed to accidentally kicked the door jamb upward.

Lucas caught the closing door with his hand and pulled it forward, his eyes instantly landing on the beautiful brunette in the front row. She beamed up at him, eyes shining and mouthed the word "hi." He returned her smile with one of equal luminescence, instinctively raising his hand to wave as he mouthed "hey" in response. Riley giggled to herself, mouthing one last "hi" before glancing down bashfully at her desk hoping no one would notice the slight shade of pink coloring her cheeks.

The blonde boy was just about to take his seat when he spotted Maya running down the hallway, a pile of books so high they nearly reached her chin in her arms. The bell was seconds away from ringing and he knew there was no way she would be able to open the door so he did the gentlemanly thing he had been raised to do and held the door open for her. She hesitated in the doorway, lingering by his side just long enough to look up at him and whisper a small "thank you." Lucas peered down at the grateful blonde and shrugged "no problem."

It was a perfectly innocent moment between two friends, but immediately the energy within the classroom changed. Before he even looked back up he could feel the eyes of their classmates on them. He watched as they began to lean over their desks whispering their little assumptions and perceptions to one another, wondering how they could possibly think that this was anything other than one friend helping another.

"Did you see the way they looked at each other? It's so obvious they belong together," Sarah whispered back to Darby who shook her head at the comment.

"Poor little Riley doesn't even see it. She still blushes when he waves at her," she replied just loud enough for the girl in question to overhear.

Lucas watched as Riley's head craned first back toward the far corner where the girls were gossiping, and then up to the image of him and Maya in the doorway before quickly returning her eyes to her desk; the sparkle he'd seen just moments before already dimming. He didn't know exactly what had been said, but he was certain once again his classmates were misconstruing the situation and making her doubt what he was trying so hard to reinforce.

"Unbelievable!" he shouted, causing the entire class to jump at the sound of his booming voice.

The boy who had been voted most likely to go along with anything that happened was about to earn himself a new title.

"What is wrong with you people!? What makes you think that it's okay to run your mouths about things you know nothing about? You're supposed to be our friends but you don't like act like friends. First you wanted to push me and Riley together instead of letting us decide what we wanted to be and then all of a sudden you changed your mind and voted me and Maya best couple. You don't actually know us. If you did you would know that Maya and I don't like each other that way. We never have. Whatever fire you think you see, it's not there!"

Maya stood silently listening as Lucas tore into their fellow students. She had to admit that he made a good point. Their supposed "friends" were always interfering and each time they did things had only gotten more complicated between the five of them. Now things were only complicated for her. She had given both Lucas and Riley her blessing to move forward and neither had any idea of the secret she was now hiding. She licked her lower lip before cocking her head toward the boy next to her with a sheepish grin, hoping it would hide her deception.

"He's right, it's not. Goody two shoes isn't really my type," she said, emphasizing his previous statement.

He turned once again to look down at the girl standing next to him.

"Thank you Maya…I think."

He faced forward, his green eyes seeking out Riley's brown ones. This was his first step, his public declaration of intent and he needed her to understand the significance of what he was about to say. Finally, she glanced up from her desk, a timid smile curving her lips. Someday, when they were both ready, he was going taste those lips again.

"As for me, there's only one girl that I've ever had those kind of feelings for, and what she and I become is up to me and her; no one else."

Cory watched as his daughter and the boy in the doorway shared a silent meaningful exchange. He still wasn't ready for his little girl to grow up. He wasn't ready for her to fall in love, but as he watched the scene before him he knew the day was coming. Someday something would happen and it would probably be with the boy standing in front of his entire class looking at his daughter as if she held the secrets to the universe in her eyes.

"Mr. Friar, Ms. Hart, would you mind taking a seat so we can begin class?"

Maya nodded silently as she made her way to her desk.

Cory placed his arm around the young man's shoulders.

"That was a nice speech Lucas."

The boy's gaze traveled cautiously between Riley and her father.

"Thank you, sir."

The older gentleman pulled his student closer to whisper in his ear.

"You realize what happens if I catch you in her room, don't you?" he asked in a sing song voice that made the boy nervous.

"You're gonna chase me out the window again?" he responded, trying to hide his excitement over the prospect of having her father treat him as the boy his daughter had romantic feelings for and not the boy she saw as a brother or platonic friend.

Cory nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah."

As Lucas's eyes caught a glimpse of Riley's smile, her eyes bright and happy, there was no doubt in his mind that she was worth every shoe he would inevitably lose.


	75. Chapter 75- No Ordinary Homecoming

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers! First and foremost thank you so very much as always for your patience and support for this story! I know I say it every single time but I mean it every time too. I am happy to inform you that we are drawing near to a conclusion on this story. Now I know what you're thinking, but galpalcj, there are so many loose ends that still need tying up what happens with the minkus trial? What was farkle's forgiveness project? What happens between Riley and Maya when there are so many problems within their friendship? Do Riley and Lucas ever become a couple? Well, to all these questions I say nothing has been thrown away. Every one of these loose ends has a story still being told, which is why this has extended into a two part series. I appreciate your trust and loyalty. The fact that you have followed me through nearly eighty chapters of this story is so incredibly humbling and flattering and I sincerely hope you will follow me into the second installment!**

Cory anxiously paced throughout the living room of his apartment. He had been eagerly awaiting this day for nearly three weeks and after counting down each day like a child anticipating Christmas, the day has finally come. Topanga came down the stairs wearing a small smile on the curve of her lips.

"How can you possibly be nervous?" She questioned, clearly amused by her husband's behavior.

The man's face scrunched up in offense at her query. His jaw dropped open as he eyebrows flew up in the opposite direction.

"I am not nervous," he declared though the tremble in his voice clearly indicated otherwise.

His wife folded her arms as her expression grew accusatory. This was her shark lawyer face, though he'd seen it long before she had used it to defend anyone in court.

"Is that why you're wearing a ditch into our floor?" She asked pointedly.

His brown eyes ticked down to examine the floor. She had exaggerated the condition of course, but she had definitely gotten her point across. Relenting his defense, his hands flew up in front of him as they illustrated his thoughts.

"It's just... it's been so long," he admitted timidly, "what if he doesn't recognize me?"

Topanga fought the urge to roll her eyes in response. She loved her husband and his best friend, but sometimes their bromance was a little too much for even her to take. Instead she closed her eyes and counted to ten before crossing the room over to her husband and resting her hands on his shoulders.

"You two have had separations longer than this one and he always come back. And when he does you two always pick up right where you left off," she cooed doing her best to assure him.

They heard movement on the other side of the door. Cory watched, on pins and needles, as the knob slowly turned and the door began to open. This was it. This was the big moment. Shawn was about to come walking through that door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Riley asked as she walked backwards through the doorway facing her own best friend.

The blonde had been acting rather strange over the last couple days, but especially this day. She had been quiet, reserved, she always seemed like her mind was somewhere else, but when asked she would insist she was merely stressing out over the mural. Nearly a week into the project she still hadn't found an idea she deemed worthy of immortalization on the walls of their school.

Maya shrugged at her concern, her blue eyes darting around the room as they entered.

Cory's glee drained from both his smile and eyes as he glared menacingly at the two girls. Any other day he would be happy to see them, but right now there was only one person he longed to see.

"You're not Shawn," he spat as if they had maliciously gotten his hopes up just to let him down.

Maya still remembered the first time she had ever met Shawn. Back then she had found Mathews' insane behavior toward his friend's arrival as a source of entertainment, but things were different now. She was different now. Not only did she miss him terribly and want to see him, but wanted his wisdom, his understanding. She wanted him to help her make sense of herself and all these strange feelings that she couldn't figure out. She needed him to walk through that door just as badly as Mathews did.

Riley's forehead creased in confusion.

"Uncle Shawn is coming back today?"

Her brown eyes travelled from Maya's thin nervous smirk to her father's hopeful face, and finally landed on her mother. A silent question was telepathically sent from daughter to mother in that moment, which Topanga answered with a small nod. Suddenly the pieces were beginning to fall in place as to why her friend had been behaving so uncharacteristically. With the exception of her own dad, Shawn Hunter was the closest thing Maya had ever had to a father figure, and from she'd been told this was no ordinary homecoming.

It was obvious that Maya was doing her best to maintain her "cool" persona but her nerves were clearly visible beneath the calm facade. The brunette rifled through the basket of apples on the kitchen counter as she continued to observe from the sidelines. After pretending to deliberate for several minutes she selected the reddest and shiniest of the bunch, which she'd had her eye on all along, and plucked it from the basket. She then went to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of water.

Maya opened her hands like a small child waiting for a ball to be thrown in their direction. Riley's brows raised in skepticism. Surely she wasn't serious. They both knew there wasn't an athletic or coordinated bone in the young woman's body. Her hesitation lasted only a moment before she shrugged and tossed the bottle in the air. Topanga and Cory both ducked down with their hands above their heads while blonde had to side step and extend her handmade net as far as it would go, but thankfully the bottle made it to its original target. Seeing this the girl in the kitchen clapped her hands with glee, celebrating her accomplishment.

"You ready to go upstairs and start working on our project?" She asked.

The other girl's blue eyes shifted to the door behind her momentarily before turning back to face her friend as her fingers worked the cap of her bottle.

"Yeah, I mean, or we could just work on it down here," she suggested in an effort to sound disinterested that was failing miserably.

Riley glanced over at her mother who gave her another nod a knowing smile encompassed her face.

"We can do that," she said with a nod of her head and a song in her voice.

The blonde flung herself onto the couch while the brunette grabbed her bag and seated herself next to her. When Riley had seen Maya struggling to form a concept for the mural she had taken it upon herself to help her friend. She knew absolutely nothing about art but she did know her best friend. If it was inspiration the girl was in need of the other would find her some.

"What's this?" Maya asked as her friend dropped a very thick and heavy book down on the table in front of them.

Her brown eyes beamed with pride as she turned to her sister with a smile. "It's a book of art. Specifically murals. Everything from the Sistine Chapel to modern day graffiti." She enthused.

Topanga was still by Cory's side doing her best to console him when they heard motion on the other side of the door again. Both Cory and Maya turned their eyes toward the moving knob, hoping for the same moment.

A familiar sassy blonde six-year old came prancing through the door as though it were a runway. Immediately the hopeful expressions fell once more.

"You ain't Shawn either," Cory growled menacingly but the little girl wasn't the slightest bit phased by the remark.

"Obviously," she declared in a "duh" tone.

Riley and Topanga both shot Cory a disapproving look.

"Daddy that's no way to greet someone," reprimanded her father.

Maya chuckled at her teacher being scolded by his daughter. "Yeah Mathews, what kind of greeting is that?" She added for her own amusement.

"Like I care what he thinks," Ava scoffed before heading upstairs straight up to Auggie's empty bedroom.

The girls returned to their task at hand, combing through the book, as Cory began to pace behind the couch again. The seconds were passing at an agonizing speed when the door opened again. All eyes darted toward motion in question until a little boy with curly hair who was gasping for breath appeared. Everyone turned to Cory waiting for him to react but it was Maya who threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

"Seriously?!" She fumed, causing Riley's head to shoot back toward her friend with a scowl.

"Did...I... beat...her?" He questioned between gulps of air.

Topanga smiled at her son before pointing toward the staircase.

"She's already up there waiting for you," Auggie's eyes growing wide at her announcement. Suddenly he found a new burst of energy as he raced up the stairs two at a time, desperate to keep her from finding or seeing what, God only knew.

Riley's brown eyes were still fixed on the blonde in a way that made her shift uncomfortably in her seat. She scrunched her mouth from one side to the other waiting for the other to break the silence, but no words came.

"What?" She finally snapped, unable to take it anymore.

The brunette just calmly shook her head, glancing to her father and then back to her friend. "You're as bad as he is," she stated emphatically with a point of her index finger.

Maya's blue eyes narrowed angrily. "You take that back right now!" She demanded.

Riley shrugged non-chalantly in reply.  
"I wish I could."

Cory's mind had been reeling for the last forty minutes wondering where his friend was and why he hadn't arrived yet. He turned to Topanga worry etched in his every feature. "What if something happened? What if there was a five car pile up on the freeway? What if a terrorist hijacked his plane? What if his tire blew out in the middle of nowhere and now he's somewhere out there stranded just waiting for me to realize something is wrong?!" He began melting down. "Quick we need to form a search party," he declared.

Topanga smiled as a familiar face strode through the open door.

"You won't have to search very far," she muttered as her eyes landed on Shawn who had once again snuck in undetected. He returned Topanga's smile with one of his own, happier than ever to be home.

"Gee guys is this how you greet all your guests?" He teased causing all heads to turn toward him and alerting them to his presence.

"Shawn!" Cory and Maya both shouted enthusiastically. Normally Cory and Shawn would be the first to hug, but Topanga held her husband back as the young girl ran up to embrace their friend. The curly haired man shot his wife a dirty look.

"Topanga!" He exclaimed as he struggled in vain to free himself from her clutches but she didn't care. Quietly she gestured to the man and girl standing toward the entrance wrapped in one another's arms with luminescent grins. "Let them have their moment," she whispered threateningly. Cory was genuinely pleased with the role his friend had taken in his second daughter's life, but at present he was finding it difficult not be a little selfish. "Fine," he relented sulkily.

The blonde looked up into the face of the man who she had come to grow so close to. If she could hand pick any one person in the world to be the father she never had, he would be the one. For the first time ever, the dream of a real family actually seemed within reach. Her blue eyes shimmered with hope as she stared at him. Her own father hadn't been capable of loving her, but she was starting to believe just maybe this man could.

"Does my mom know you're here?" She asked curiously. His smile grew even wider at the mention of her mother, which made hers grow too.

"Yeah, yeah, I just came from seeing her at the bakery. That's why I was running behind," he explained, wincing as they all heard a loud gasp from across the room. He hadn't meant for Cory to know that.

The curly haired man placed his hand over his chest as if he were fighting off heart attack, his head turned away from the friend he had been so eager to see as he whimpered in the distance. Shawn had known this would happen, but still he had gone to Katie first, and he didn't know why, nor was he sure he was ready to. He began walking toward his lifelong friend, but Cory placed his hand up in objection.

"Don't!" he shouted dramatically. "Don't you dare come near me right now Shawn Hunter!"

Maya and Riley both shot Topanga a quizzical look who merely shrugged in response as if to say "all my life," once more.

"Come on Cor, this doesn't have to be a thing. Please don't make it a thing?" Shawn pleaded trying to place a hand on his buddy's shoulder who recoiled at his touch.

Cory and Shawn had been best friends their entire lives. Every obstacle life had thrown their way they had managed to overcome without losing their friendship in the process. Was it really that big of a deal that he had gone to see Katie before coming to their apartment.

Yes, the voice in the back of his head whispered, but he shook his head, willing it away.

"I have been standing in this spot, okay not this exact spot, but this area," he stated with his hands flinging wildly about, "waiting for you, expecting you, and then when you didn't come I got worried. I thought you were lying in a ditch on the side of the road somewhere, and all that time you were a few blocks down the street?! You could have called, texted, something, but no! You just did what you wanted, like you always do!" he exclaimed bitterly.

Shawn shrunk under his friend's words.

"I'm sorry Cor…I didn't mean to worry you. I should have called or texted to let you know I was okay."

Both girls' eyes grew wide as saucers as they witnessed the scene before them.

"Okay, this started out funny but now it's just weird. Promise me we'll never be that weird?" the blonde whispered.

Riley nodded in agreement.

"You put a girl before us," he whined as though they were twelve years old again. "I'm married and even I don't do that!"

"He really doesn't," Topanga said before deciding it was time to take control of the situation.

"Cory I know that your feelings are hurt, but cut Shawn some slack. He really likes Katie and they're in a relationship now," she reasoned as Maya's smile grew at her words.

They were in a relationship?

Since when?

And how come neither one had mentioned anything to her?

"You're dating my mom?" she asked, attempting to hide the hope from her voice, though she wasn't sure why she was bothering to try when she could literally feel it seeping through.

Shawn winced involuntarily at the question. This was not the way he and Katie had wanted her to find out about them. However, he wasn't about to lie to the girl either. He cared about her and her mother too much to do that.

"We wanted to talk to you about it together, but yeah, we want to give this a try." He mumbled in reply.

"If it's okay with you," he added nervously.

Without thought the young woman rushed into his arms a second time, clinging to him for dear life. He chuckled at her reaction as he returned her embrace.

"I'm guessing this means you're okay with this?" he asked.

The blonde chuckled at his comment, nodding her head with a smile.

"Very okay," she stated emphatically.

Cory's expression began to shift from offense to compassion as he witnessed the touching moment between his best friend and the little girl who had basically become his third child. The selfish part of him wanted to be angry, wanted to keep Shawn to himself, but how could he be when two people he cared so much about looked so incredibly happy. Katie and Maya could never take his friend from him just as Topanga and their children had not prevented his friendship with Shawn.

"Okay, so maybe I overreacted just a tad," he said, downplaying his tantrum.

All three females muttered "just a tad," at his declaration.

Cory turned to face his friend apologetically.

"I was really worried though," he said sincerely.

Shawn just smirked in response placing a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"I know, I heard. You were ready to call out the dogs," he jested.

The curly haired man nearly blushed at his words, "well I couldn't just leave you stranded out in a ditch somewhere," he said before Shawn pulled him into a hug that lasted several seconds long.

"They do know they're boys, right?" Maya asked inquisitively.

Topanga just smiled thinking of all the times she had thought the same exact thing.

"Yeah they know. They don't care," she responded as the two grown men savored their reunion.


	76. Chapter 76- A Foreign Something

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers, just wanted to thank you for all your love and support. It truly means the world to me!**

Maya sat with her feet dangling off the edge of the bed as she watched her mother anxiously flit from the bathroom to the closet and over in front of the mirror. They had spent the last two hours combing through every item of clothing, jewelry, and shoes the older woman possessed searching for just the right combination. Unfortunately, between her mother's sudden dissatisfaction with everything she owned and Shawn's refusal to give the slig

htest hint to their plans for the evening that task was proving exceedingly difficult. She wordlessly handed her mother two different garments that had previously been laid out observing as her mom lifted one hanger to her chest to examine her reflection before swapping hands to do the same with the other.

Katie let a groan of frustration. Why was this so hard? Shawn had already seen her in her favorite dress, as well as her waitress attire and her casual clothing at home. She wasn't sure exactly what unattainable goal she was trying to reach, she just knew that she felt different, and she wanted the image in the mirror to reflect that feeling.

The young woman sitting from the sidelines couldn't remember ever seeing her mother so unraveled. Though truthfully she was just now beginning to get to know her. So far what she had learned was that her mother had lied to her about pushing her father away, that she had been left too, and that she did in fact love Maya even if she hadn't always shown it the way her daughter would have preferred.

She had also begun to realize that she was glad that her mom was her mom. The Mathews were wonderful people and she loved them dearly, but she was kind of enjoying having a real parent of her own.

"Are you sure about this?" The young blonde blurted out surprisingly.

Katie whirled around, her blue eyes panic stricken. Slowly she crossed the room, laying the garments on the bed as she seated herself next to her child. A sympathetic smile formed on her lips.

"Are you not baby girl?" She asked sweetly, already preparing herself to give Shawn up. She wouldn't do this, she couldn't, if her daughter didn't want it anymore.

Her sapphire orbs lifted to meet her mother's gaze full of confusion and fear. She reminded Katie of when she had been a little girl as she shrugged her shoulders in response.

"I don't know...I've just never seen you so..." she fumbled for a word to describe what she was seeing but couldn't find the right one. So instead she made a sweeping gesture with her hands gesturing to the woman sitting next to her. "Like this...over anyone. Ever." She emphasized hoping her mom would understand what she was attempting to say.

Katie's smile grew from sympathetic to understanding as she brushed back her little girl's long blonde hair from her shoulders.

"You've never really seen me involved with anyone," she reminded gently.

That was true. With the exception of their date a few months back Maya couldn't remember the last time she had seen her mother with any man. She had been too young to remember her father and the if there had been anyone else between the two she hadn't known about it.

"It's just...you weren't like this the last time with Shawn. Why is it different this time?"

Maya had been a nervous wreck the night of their first date. As she had watched her mother calmly prepare for the evening her mind had kept drifting to the picture in the time capsule and the wish she had made on her birthday candles. For a moment she had thought maybe when they opened that box some distant day in the future she would see their first photograph as a family staring back at her. That hope had quickly been extinguished the next day when her mom had sat her down and told her that they had decided to remain on friendly terms only.

Now there she was, reliving the experience, only this time she found herself more afraid of what might happen than what might not. It was in her nature to fight for the things that she wanted, but never once had it occurred to her until that moment that perhaps she had pushed both Shawn and her mother too far. If she had accidentally pushed either of them into something they didn't want, eventually it would end in heartache for everyone, and all three of them had already been hurt enough.

Katie sat contemplating her words. She had given birth to the beautiful girl next to her, but she had never felt worthy of the gift she had been given. What could she possibly have to teach her child except what not to do, how not to live? She wanted so much for her baby girl than a path similar to her own. She wanted her daughter to thrive in this world she had been born into, to have her own space within it, instead of constantly trying to fit herself into someone else's. It wasn't that it was easier to let Shawn and Mathews family teach her about life. It wasn't that she didn't care. She just couldn't see how to teach things she had never been capable of accomplishing herself.

"I guess it's because our connection is different now. The first time there was an attraction but we didn't really know anything about one another. As time went on we learned things about each other and we actually liked what we learned," she explained carefully, hoping she hadn't just confused her daughter more.

There something about her mother that was different. It wasn't just that she was nervous. Her smile was different. Her eyes were different. There was a soft glow surrounding her mother as she spoke that reminded her of sunset. Slowly Maya nodded, her expression unreadable.

"You really like him," she surmised breathily more to herself than anyone else.

Katie wasn't sure exactly how or when it had happened, but she had developed genuine feelings for Shawn Hunter. Their brief interactions had displayed chemistry, there was no mistaking that, and their date had been enjoyable enough, but it wasn't until after that she had felt those stirrings grow into something more substantial. It was the text message he had sent right after that project on forgiveness and the fact that he had noticed something was wrong, the look on his face when he spoke of her daughter and her love of art, the way he was always there for her and her little girl when there was nothing in it for him. Those were the moments she had felt the stairs growing thinner.

Then he had kissed her and her whole world lit up. She allowed herself to feel things then that she hadn't in years because she trusted him. She was sure that he was a good man who cared very deeply for her daughter and wanted to be there for her no matter what happened between the two of them. She knew that she cared about him. Over the last few weeks of daily texting and late night phone calls she had come to appreciate his humor, his kindness, his sense of adventure, but most of all his adoration for her little girl.

"Yeah sweetie, I really do," she confirmed, "but if you're not okay with this anymore," her voice trailed off unable to speak the words.

Was she okay with this? She had been. She'd wanted more than anything else in the world. So why was she hesitating?

"Of course I'm fine with it, I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing this because you know I want it," she fibbed, wishing those words were true. The truth wasn't nearly as noble. Yes, she loved her mother and she did want her to like Shawn for more than her own sake, but that wasn't what concerned her anymore.

"You should wear the red spaghetti strap top. The flowy one with the white flowers and some jeans. You look really pretty in that one." She offered with a watery smile.

Katie examined her daughter's expression. If only she hadn't spent so long distancing herself for Maya's own sake she might have a better idea of who her little girl was or what she was currently feeling.

"Are you sure?" She asked gingerly one last time.

The young girl nodded again one corner of her mouth lifting upward. "It's everything I wished for," she stated simply as her mother wrapped her arms around her in gratitude.

Cory placed his hands on his friend's shoulders his eyes filled with pride.

"Can you believe it Topanga? Our little Shawny is all grown up and going on his first date," he exclaimed like a proud papa rather than a lifelong friend.

Shawn bristled at the comment fidgeting with the buttons on his jacket.

"It's not like I've never been on a date before Cor," he bit back in frustration.

Three weeks; it had been three weeks since he had shown up at Katie's apartment with his never-ending rant on hope and life and his desire to take a chance. He had made his wishes known. She had kissed him goodbye, and then he was gone. Three weeks was a lot of time to think about the decision he had just made and what it might mean for everyone involved. He had thought about Angela and all the things he had learned about love because of her. He'd thought about her last words to him when she had been in town.

Was Katie the one? He had been so quick to say no that day, but the truth was he really had no way of knowing. He'd barely known anything about her at the time other than the fact she was an amazing mother who worked very hard to take care of her child. She was the kind of woman who would protect the people she cared for, even if it wasn't in her best interest. She had been hurt, so much more than he had realized at the time, and still she had been willing to take a chance on him.

"College doesn't count," Cory insisted sternly before his expression softened.

"Alright, this is it! You doing okay? You feeling good about this?" he began rattling off questions faster than Shawn could process them.

"Yeah, yeah, I really do," he confessed sincerely.

Cory patted his friend's shoulders one last time.

"Good, good, I'm glad to hear that," suddenly he whipped his head toward his wife.

"Get him Topanga!" she shouted epically as he grimaced at his own words.

Both Shawn and Topanga shot him a look of disapproval.

"Really?" they asked simultaneously.

Cory shrugged sympathetically. He felt like the king that had tossed Daniel in the lion's den against his own will, but alas it had to be done.

"You know I love you, you're my best friend, you're my brother, my Shawny," he elaborated dramatically, "You're family, but so are Maya and Katie. We'd be doing this no matter who you were."

Shawn had been annoyed when his supposed buddy had released the wife on him, but he found Cory's reason comforting. He didn't mind the inconvenience of being tested if it was in their best interest. He didn't mind having to rise to the standard they deserved because they were worth the work, worth the risk. A wide grin encompassed his face at this small yet profound revelation. There was not a fear or doubt within him worth forfeiting the chance to be in their lives.

"You already know everything there is to know about me, but go ahead. Fire away," he said stretching out his arms like an open target.

Topanga glanced over at her husband.

"This is silly, I trust Shawn with Katie and Maya. He knows what they've been through and how much this means to them. He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't care about both of them." She defended.

Cory's expression grew surprisingly serious; his brown eyes piercing through his wife.

"I know that, but this is Katie and Maya we're talking about. We can't give him special treatment just because he's special!" As the words fell from his lips his brow creased, certain he'd befuddled his statement somewhere in between beginning and end.

The petite brunette rolled her eyes before turning back toward Shawn wearing a very serious expression of her own.

"Katie is not a girl she is a woman, a woman with a child, which means that you are not dating a girl or a woman you are dating a family. Our family and if you hurt them I will hurt you, got it?" she growled before pivoting toward her husband once more.

"How was that?" she inquired seeking his approval.

The two men looked at one another with a shiver.

"Very effective mistress Topanga," Cory stated resembling a school boy in trouble with the principal.

As if on cue, there was a timid knocking at the door. They were there. Since Maya would be spending the remainder of the evening with her second family, he and Katie had agreed to meet there. Topanga flashed her old friend as assuring smile as she headed toward the door. Shawn suddenly felt as though he were seventeen years old again, giggling like a schoolboy and resisting the urge to run into the nearest closet. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel was it? The last time he'd completely come undone like this was with Angela, and that experience, beautiful as it might have been, had left him in pieces and alone. Wasn't this time supposed to be different?

The once renowned ladies man turned to his childhood friend with panic stricken eyes.

"Cor, how did you feel the first time you went on a date with Topanga?" He asked shakily.

Cory and Topanga were the epitome of true love in the modern world. He had grown up watching their story progress and unfold; stirring within him a longing he had never been able to gratify.

The curly haired man smiled knowingly. Very rarely did he get to see his friend completely lose his cool, and though he desperately wanted to be supportive, he couldn't hide his amusement at the sight before him.

"I was twelve! And nervous, and giggly and weird, why?"

Shawn swallowed hard but the phantom lump in his throat remained.

"No reason...but uh, theoretically speaking how bad will Topanga hurt me if I can't go through this?" He questioned anxiously just as the door opened and he caught sight of the stunning blonde woman in the doorway and her equally beautiful daughter who had brought them together. His breath hitched at the sight before him.

Cory sidled up to his friend, placing an arm around his shoulders.

"Still feel like running?" He whispered quietly, though he felt secure in his ability to predict the answer.

Shawn stood speechless, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of hope and admiration that neither Cory nor Topanga had seen from him in more years than they cared to count. A jubilant grin illuminated his features as he took her loveliness in one detail at a time. He was now the immovable man. Only her invitation would beckon him elsewhere.

He turned to face his friend, his eyes and voice reflecting his certainty. "I'm not going anywhere," he stated with conviction.

Maya glanced from the face of the man she wanted so desperately never to lose and then back to her mother whose smile radiated something foreign to the young girl. This was really happening. Shawn liked her mother and her mother liked him. She wanted to be happy about this, but the knot tightening in her stomach prevented her from doing so. Both Shawn and her mom just stood there in silent wonder of the moment and each other until finally, the younger blonde could take it no longer.

"Okay...well, you two have fun. I'm gonna go find Riles," she said gesturing to the two adults who until their silence had been broken were lost in their own little world together.

"She's upstairs sweetie," Topanga directed.

Katie wrapped her arms around her daughter in a warm embrace. "Have fun too baby girl," she said planting a kiss to her temple. The troubled child nodded with a smile before bounding up the steps two at a time, eager to reach her destination.

"You ready to this?" Shawn asked projecting much more confidence than he felt. Please let her say yes, he thought to himself.

Was she ready?

"I am if you are," she teased half jokingly, all at once consumed with the irrational fear that perhaps this wasn't what he wanted anymore.

That wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either. Was it possible they were over complicating the situation yet again? The only way he would ever know was if he willed his feet to move. Taking one step at a time both literally and figuratively, he crossed the room offering her his arm.

"Then we'd better get going," he proclaimed as she slid her slender arm within the loop of his own. His eyes sought out the two childhood friends who he had always looked up to, wondering if he might finally be on the road that could lead him to the destination in front of him. Cory and Topanga stood aside, beaming with pride and approval.

"Don't wait up guys," he teased as he reached for his camera with his free hand on their way out the door. Katie twisted to toss an enthusiastic smirk back at the man and woman who had taken both she and her little girl on as friends and family. She wasn't sure how it had come to be that they should all be connected, but whatever happened moving forward she was grateful they would all have one another.


	77. Chapter 77- Senses Slipping Away

**A/N: As always thank you for all the reviews, follows, and faves! They are greatly appreciated. I wanted to have this chapter out before the wedding episode, but it's here now and that's all that matters. I'm really excited to address some of the story arcs previously alluded to in the second installment. So many questions still need answering. I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as I do!**

Riley lay alone on her bed, an array of books and office items spread before her and the girl and the dream catcher playing in her ears as she waited for her best friend to arrive. The blonde had been unusually quiet that day which worried her exceedingly. She would prefer to believe that the girl was simply enjoying the significance of this day, but she knew that was most likely her optimistic nature speaking. Experience had taught her that bubbly enthusiasm of hers was not exactly a shared trait. She would more than likely spend the evening reassuring the friend who was more like a sister that the universe was not conspiring against her or her mother's date with Shawn.

As if summoned by sheer thought, the bedroom door burst open and the girl in question stormed into the room, her expression hardened into a mask of determination. Without so much as a word she strode to the bay window. Riley removed the earbuds and closed her books preparing to be bay windowed.

"Peaches!" She exclaimed with a smile, but Maya was so lost in her own thoughts that she either didn't hear the brunette or had chosen to ignore her. Instead of responding she reached out and unlocked the window, forcing it open.

"Peaches?" Riley asked as her brows creased in confusion. Still Maya did not speak. She did however commence climbing through the open window forcing the second girl to hasten her step as she pitter patted across her bedroom floor as quietly as possible.

"Maya," she whispered sharply as she began to follow her friend on their forbidden journey, "where are you going? You know we aren't supposed to leave the apartment without telling my parents where we're going." They hadn't asked permission; they hadn't ruffled the bed or bunched up the pillows to cover their tracks. The blonde hadn't even told her where they were going, and yet Riley had followed.

The blonde was halfway down the fire escape moving as quickly and quietly as possible. She wasn't sure exactly when she had made the decision to sneak out. She wasn't even sure there had been a decision making process. Her feet had taken on a will of their own as they edged her forward. As she had stood downstairs in the Mathews apartment the notion had suddenly struck her that something was terribly amiss in her world and she was not about to just sit back and wait for another tragedy to befall her and her mother.

She paused at the bottom of the ladder, her blue eyes peering around the corner of the building for her target. Hopefully she had reached the bottom in time.

Riley took this opportunity to close the distance between the two girls until she was standing right behind her friend, whispering over her shoulder.

"What are we doing?" She asked demanding an explanation.

The blonde placed a slender finger over her mouth as she shot her friend behind her an icy stare that insisted on silence, but the brunette was not to be sidetracked.

"No Maya! I followed you out the window-" she argued but was swiftly cut off.

"I never asked you to do that," the second girl snapped hastily, instantly regretting her tone. No matter how afraid she was that didn't justify lashing out at the one person she wanted and needed most in her life. She had already made that mistake once earlier that year and had never forgotten the way she had felt when she had opened that door believing all of her friends had turned their back on her. It was a familiar ache that she despised.

"I'm sorry Riles," she apologized as a familiar laugh drifted into the air. She hadn't missed them after all.

Riley's chocolate brown eyes expanded in circumference as clarity began to form in her mind. "You're spying on them," her statement sounded more like a question, but she hadn't needed to ask to know what was going to happen next.

"You can go back if you want, but I have to do this," the petite girl in front explained, only concerning her friend more.

"Do what exactly?"

A cold fear gripped the taller girl standing behind her. Was her best friend so afraid to be happy that she was going to ruin this for herself? Riley knew how much her sister wanted this. She had never come out and said it, but she hadn't had to. The unusual twinkle in her eye each time Katie and Shawn had been in the same room together had been telling enough. She had blown out her candle the preceding year with that unspoken dream in her heart and now that it had the potential to become a reality she was ready to set it ablaze.

Shawn and Katie exited the building arm in arm. Her mother was laughing at something Shawn, whose gaze was transfixed on the woman next to him, must have said.

"They look happy," the brunette around the corner observed with a smile. Unfortunately, those words were no comfort to her friend who turned back toward her with frightened eyes.

The couple began to travel down the city sidewalk lost in their own little world as the girls secretly weaved through the hustle and bustle of their streets close behind.

Katie turned to the man standing next to her, stars in her eyes.

"So..." She said as she looked up into his handsome face silently reveling in the way he was looking back at her.

"So..." He echoed with another smile. He couldn't seem to be near her without smiling.

She wasn't sure exactly what she had expected to happen, she hadn't really allowed herself to expect anything. It was easier that way. Yet as she returned his smile she began to realize that she must have allowed herself some kind of expectations where this evening and this man was concerned because he was already exceeding them without even trying. Her free hand lifted to run her fingers through her hair nervously. As her golden curls fell back into place, a few face framing strands landed just over her sapphire eyes in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

She glanced down momentarily, coyly grinning to herself until the small clicking sound brought her back from the corner of her mind.

"What was that?" She asked curiously.

Shawn shrugged feigning ignorance.

"What was what?" He responded.

Her blue eyes traveled down to the camera in his hand but said nothing more on the subject.

"So where are you taking me?" She queried instead as they continued to walk toward the subway station on W 4 street, Washington square.

Shawn's eyes met her with a playful gleam. "That's for me to know and you to find out," he said with a chuckle.

A nervous flittering of butterfly wings awoke in her stomach, partially from the way he smiled at her and partially caused by her fear of surprises. There had once been a time when she would have welcomed the serendipity of life with open arms, but those days had disappeared long ago along with the husband who had vanished into thin air, never to return.

"And when exactly do I get to find out," she inquired anxiously.

Shawn shook his head at her question and the unspoken concern she was trying so hard to hide from him. He could see her hesitation but chose not to take it personally. After all, it wasn't him that she didn't trust, it was life. And how could he possibly condemn her for that when it had been so unfair to her and her daughter?

"When we get there," he responded simply with an assuring grin before pausing above the stairs to the station, turning to face her.

"I know not all your surprises have been good, but you're going to enjoy this one. I promise."

Katie stood momentarily in awe at the man next to her. Not only had he seen her fear, he had understood it and accepted it without question or judgement. There were no words to describe how much that one little gesture meant to her and so rather than attempting to express her gratitude as such she decided to respond with a gesture of her own, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss upon his cheek with a smile.

Maya and Riley watched on from behind as the couple disappeared down the stairs of the subway station.

"Awww," the brunette exclaimed as she attempted to keep pace with her friend. "That was so sweet! How can you possibly still be worried after seeing that?"

Maya continued down the stairs and onto the A train with her mother ahead and her sister in tow. She didn't bother explaining herself to her friend because no matter how much she wanted to, Riley couldn't understand. She didn't know what it was like to have her entire world fall out from under her within seconds. The blonde was glad that the girl sitting next to her had never known such heartache and disappointment, but it was something that separated them. There was a veil between their two worlds that could never be breached so long as her best friend continued to live in blissful ignorance of painful realities. Maya could never truly belong to Rileytown, nor would she wish Mayaville on the girl she loved so.

Four stops later Shawn guided Katie off the subway car unaware of the two teenage girls following behind them. Her blue eyes clouded over with confusion as she surveyed their surroundings. She hadn't really cared where he had taken her until he had built up their destination as a promise she would undoubtedly enjoy. Given the ordinary city scenery, she couldn't help but wonder what trick he had up his sleeve.

He began leading her toward Cadman plaza, observing each question form in her mind with a satisfied smirk. He had spent the last three weeks considering everything he had learned about the woman at his side in order to plan a memorable evening that would show her how much he valued their connection.

"Not exactly what you were expecting, is it?" He teased as they continued to walk. His date examined him suspiciously from the corner of her eye.

"I am definitely surprised, and a little curious as to why you decided to bring me to Brooklyn," she admitted honestly. "Not that I'm complaining of course," she added hurriedly, hoping she hadn't sounded ungrateful. He had obviously put a lot of thought into the evening and wanted it to go well.

The man nodded knowingly. "I agree, it's not the most romantic place in the world, but in my defense it's where they keep the time machine." He stated casually as though it were the most natural subject in the world.

Her brows creased at his words.

"Time machine?"

Riley and Maya tip toed behind. Even without overhearing the conversation the girls were equally perplexed at their new location. One was a hopeless romantic who had been imagining soft lighting and grand gestures. The other was an adventurer at heart who had pictured something more exciting or fast paced. Each girl scanned the nearby streets for any sign of their ideal but neither found what they were searching for.

"I don't see any romantic restaurants," the tall brunette declared with a sigh.

"Yeah, and it doesn't look like there's anything fun to do around here either," the blonde noted with a hint of disgust as they entered the Empire-Fulton portion of the Brooklyn Bridge park.

Riley's knowledge of the dating world only consisted of subway cars and awkward hand holding at her mother's bakery. There had been moments of romance throughout the Valentine's dance, but she doubted that qualified since that event had begun as a date between Lucas and her best friend. She didn't know much about Shawn Hunter either. Though she had grown up hearing all the legendary stories she'd never had a face to put them until the year before.

"Uncle Shawn had to have brought her here for a reason. What does she like to do? You know, other than working at the bakery and auditioning for acting jobs?" she asked the girl next to her.

Maya knew as little about romance as her friend, and sadly just as much about her mother as Riley did Shawn. What did her mother like to do? She honestly hadn't any idea. She liked acting so it made sense that she would like plays or movies. There was always a book on her mom's nightstand and it wasn't always the same one. Did that mean her mom liked to read? How could she grow up with someone, share an apartment with them and still have no clue who they were?

Her sapphire gaze shifted to that of her sister quizzically.

"What does your mom like to do?"

The brunette merely shrugged, uncertain of what her mother's hobbies could possibly have to do with why they had wound up in the middle of Brooklyn the bridge.

"She likes to read a lot, because she likes learning. She likes to help people, and she likes to win at everything. Oh and apparently she dances to Shakira," she added with a shiver at the memory from their kitchen table.

Both girls grimaced in response, "I really didn't need that picture in my head," the blonde stated emphatically; the second one nodding in agreement.

As they continued their trek deeper into the park Maya's thoughts began to drift once more. She didn't like to think too much because thinking was the opposite of acting and she was the kind of person that would much rather act than think. Action was more interesting and frankly a lot more fun. She had never understood why her friends spent so much time living in their heads going over every little thing that could possibly go wrong, but that was exactly what she was doing as she walked along. There was silence between the girls but her mind was screaming a million different scenarios she had never bothered to consider until she had already pushed everyone into position. She had made that mistake once before already; pushing Riley and Lucas together without recognizing her own feelings. What if she had miscalculated again? Was it possible that she had forced them all into a situation that none of them knew they didn't really want yet, and if so how long would it be before they realized it?

A loud squeal from her side returned her to reality.

Shawn puffed up as proud as peacock displaying his plumage as Katie stood in wonder beside him. Right in the heart of Brooklyn, beneath the bridge, was their time machine; a beautiful carousel that had been gifted to the city by the Wallentas family in the late nineteen eighties, though it had not been ready to place in the park until a few short years before back in two thousand and eleven. Originally designed and crafted in 1922, the ride had been completely restored down to the most minuscule of details.

So this was what he had meant when he had promised her a time machine!

"You seem a little more impressed than when we got off the subway car," he observed playfully.

Her blonde curls bounced from side to side as she shook her head with a small giggle.

"I don't know what to say," she exclaimed bluntly. It was majestic, romantic, and more than she had ever dared to hope for.

Shawn nodded in understanding, "that's okay cause I do. Katie you amaze me. I've never known anyone who works as hard as you do and asks for so little in return. You're an incredible mother and a great friend, but tonight I don't want you to feel like either of those things. Tonight you don't have to take care of anyone else. Tonight you get to be a kid again. So let's ride the merry-go-round, have dessert before supper and go on an adventure; what do you say?"

In that moment Katie would probably have been willing to follow him anywhere. How did he understand so well the thoughts and questions she had never been willing to say out loud? She would never consider her baby girl anything less than a blessing and she tried not to complain about her lot in life. For years she had told herself this was all she needed and she had said it so long that she had come to believe it. Truthfully, she had accepted her life for what it was and had been satisfied just being the things Shawn had mentioned. She had a beautiful, spirited, and talented little girl. She had a job that allowed her to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Her mother had been as supportive as possible after Kermit had walked out of their lives and she and Maya had good friends to walk through life with. If that was all she was meant to have it would be enough.

But it might be nice being a kid again for the night.

Embracing the role completely she reached down taking his hand in her own and rushing toward the machine that would transport her back to childhood for the evening with dazzled eyes and a bright smile. When it was their turn he paid their fees while she eagerly boarded the carousel running her fingers along the exquisite wooden carved horses before selecting one to ride.

Riley began to race forward until something pulled her back, that something being the girl standing next to her.

"Where do you think you're going?" She hissed as her blue eyes narrowed into menacing slits.

The brunette whimpered, not from pain but rather disappointment.

"I want to ride the carousel," she pouted.

Even without really knowing her father's childhood best friend she couldn't deny that she was impressed with his sense of romanticism. Perhaps that was something the two of them had in common?

Maya used her free hand to snap her fingers in front of her best friend's face, hoping to distract her long enough for the ride to start without her.

"Hey Riles, stay focused. We're here on a mission remember?" She insisted sharply, yet another thing she would have apologize for once this date was over.

The tall slender girl threw her hands into the air dramatically.

"To do what, Maya? We followed them all the way to Brooklyn and all I've seen so far is two people who are really happy to be together. Look at them!" She exclaimed with a sweeping gesture toward the couple riding the carousel.

The blonde quickly swatted her friend's hand down and pulled them further back into the surrounding crowd.

"You almost blew our cover!" She retaliated as her cerulean gaze fell onto the two adults thankfully still unaware of their presence. Riley wasn't exactly wrong. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that her mother was enjoying her time with Shawn. From all accounts of the evening her mom was happy. Maybe that shouldn't worry her but it did. She hadn't been old enough to see her mom and dad together. She had, however, had a front row seat to the lasting impression he had left once that happiness was gone.

Her features began to soften as she watched her mother toss her head back laughing in the distance. A faint smile teased the curve of her lips in response, though the corners of her mouth fell back far too easily in the next moment.

"I don't know her, Riles. I barely know my mom on a good day, but the woman up there with Shawn...I don't know her at all. I've never seen her like this," she admitted dejectedly.

The brunette stepped closer, placing an arm around her sister sympathetically as the blonde lowered her head onto the other girl's shoulder.

"I want to believe that this is going to be a good thing...but I'm not really sure how to do that."

Riley tightened her hold with a sad smile wondering what she could possibly say to make this better for her friend. Though she pretended not to see the thin sheath dividing their two worlds, she had known it was there for some time. She loved her best friend and was familiar with the whats and whys of who and how she had come to be...but even with all her knowledge she could never fully understand no matter how much she had tried. This was one of those times. She knew that Maya didn't trust life to be on her side and she felt that way because bad things had happened to her that she believed life to be responsible for. What she couldn't understand was how Maya had determined life's intentions toward her based on that singular event, but then again nothing truly bad had ever happened to her, so how could she?

"Then I'll believe for you until you figure out how," she said offering the only consolation she could think of. Though she couldn't see her face, she was certain Maya had returned her watery smile with one of her own.

"Can we go home now peaches?" She asked timidly, but the blonde just shook her head.

"Nope, we have to wait for them," she all but sighed in defeat.

The brunette tilted her head at an angle as she pondered over the reply.

"Why not?" She asked curiously, still not understanding.

Maya lifted her head to meet Riley's chocolate gaze. "Because I don't know how to get home from here," she confessed in all seriousness causing both girls to chuckle lightly at their predicament.

They rode several rotations until the sun began to sink down behind the cityscape and the ride was being closed down for the night. Emboldened by the revisiting of her former youth, she reached out and took his hand in her own, which for some inexplicable reason felt far more intimate than clinging to his arm. A wide grin overwhelmed his face as she laced their fingers together and they exited the carousel together. Her crystal blue gaze shifted toward him. He didn't know if was evening glow or childlike wonder that were making them glisten in the sunset. What he did know for certain was that this was a moment he wanted to hold onto and so he reached for his camera. One swift click and that look in her eyes was immortalized for him to gaze upon for years to come.

"Are you going to do that all night long?" She asked self-consciously.

He tilted his head toward her with a sheepish grin.

"Probably," he confessed as they wandered the path toward main street where the concessions were located.

She leaned in closer, tilting her own head to an angle.

"Could you at least warn me next time?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his.

They hadn't been that close to one another since the day he had told her he was going away. Over the following three weeks they had talked about many things, but neither had worked up enough courage to discuss the one subject that was in most need of it. Both had attempted a handful of times, but they always lost their nerve. Standing so close, the air between them charged with anticipation, it was nearly impossible to ignore.

"So you can fake it," he teased playfully before shaking his head, "not a chance."

They picked up some dessert from Almondine's Bakery and proceeded down the path until they reached pebble beach in a more secluded section of the park. The vivid pinks and oranges reflected on the water creating the illusion of an endless sky. Katie pulled her sandals off and immersed her feet in the sand and ocean waves. She closed her eyes with a contented sigh, allowing herself to simply feel everything in that moment from the crests at her feet to the feel of his hand. She wished she could bottle this feeling and carry it home with her, but she knew that wasn't possible, and honestly she felt guilty for even thinking it.

Another click of the camera brought her back down from her imaginary castle in the clouds. This time she merely shook her head with a smile. Shawn Hunter was a photographer. That was part of who he was and she was determined to accept him as a whole, as he had done with her so far. She glanced down at their joined hands nibbling on the corner of her lower lip. He recognized instantly the shift in demeanor.

"What is it?" he asked nervously as his eyes followed the hers down to where their hands connected.

She hesitated, meeting his gaze.

"I don't want to say anything that's going to spoil this,' she whispered.

As he looked into her eyes he realized the glimmer that had been there only moments before had been replaced with something far less certain. Instinctively his grip tightened, unwilling to let her go.

"Did you change your mind…about us?"

He hadn't wanted to ask but he had to know.

She smiled weakly, a tiny fraction of that glimmer momentarily returned.

"No…but I'm worried that you might once I say what I need to," she said as she subconsciously burrowed her toes in the sand as though she needed roots to hold her in place. When he didn't speak she released his hand and took a step forward, contemplating her words carefully. He fidgeted anxiously with his fingers, already missing the feel of hers entwined with them and wondering if this might be the last time he experienced that sensation. The thought alone left him unsettled.

"I know that before you left you said that you wanted to try and I kissed you…and then you were gone. We've spent the last few weeks talking and I've really enjoyed that. You came to see me when you got back and now here we are on this wonderful date that is kind of like a dream it's so perfect," she paused, turning to face him tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. "the only problem is that it's not real. Tonight I'll go home and I won't be in this carefree fantasyland between childhood and adulthood anymore. I'll be a mother, and a waitress, and a mess, because that's the real me. That's my life and even though I have loved every minute of tonight I wouldn't trade what I have for anything…even something as perfect as this…so this isn't really a fair idea of what being with me would look like…and if this is what you're wanting," she sniffled doing her best to keep the tears at bay, "then I can't give you what you want."

Shawn wasted no time stepping forward and wrapping her in his arms. Relief flowed through him as he fought back the urge to laugh. The tears silently falling down her face displayed how afraid she had been that he would pull back from her and he knew his amusement would only wound her, though it was impossible to take the idea of him walking away for such a silly reason too seriously.

"I want to keep getting to know you and I want to keep being part of Maya's life. I want to hear about your day and listen to her go on about art even though I have no idea what she's talking about. I just want to keep talking to both of you and keep being near you and sharing in your lives. I want the three of us to be there for each other like we have been," he murmured against her ear.

Her tear streaked face rose to greet his.

"We don't have to be together to be those things," she offered cautiously.

He tightened his grip around her waist as he spoke.

"You're right. We don't, but I want to, if you do."

Katie nodded in agreement, her smile slowly returning as she pulled him closer.

"I want to," she breathed before pressing her soft sweet lips against his own.

Shawn lost himself in the rhythm of their movements and the sugary frosting taste that lingered on her lips as she deepened the kiss. Slowly her hands traveled from where they had gathered at that nape of his neck down his chest, sending little electric shock-waves throughout his entire system until he heard a small clicking noise. The spell broken, he reared back to examine the position in which he found himself. Sure enough his camera was resting in her dainty hand out to the side.


	78. Chapter 78- How to Call a Bluff

**A/N: Can't tell you how good it feels to be writing ahead again! I know I've been focusing on the adults a lot the last few chapters and I promise there is a reason for that (not just because I grew up with BMW vets either ;) ) There is method to my madness. Only three more chapters until the end of this installment and the embarking of the second half of their journey! Are you guys getting excited yet? I know I am! Thank you so much for taking the time to read, review, follow and favorite this story! It means so much that you guys are so invested in this story and the personal journey of each of these characters! :)**

Riley had tried to do as her father advised and allow Farkle and Maya to work things out on their own, but exactly how long could she be expected to stand back and do nothing? There was only a little more than a month before the end of their eighth grade year would be upon them and though the wounded blonde had publicly accepted his apology the tension between she and the genius remained. She didn't know exactly what Farkle had said to hurt and offend Maya so deeply but she did know that whatever it was would never have been said were it not for her decision to lie about her feelings for Lucas in the first place.

Lucas…

She tilted her head ever so slightly until cocoa brown eyes met shimmering green, sending her heart a flutter. His smirk widened into a genuine smile as if somehow he knew precisely what effect he was having on her. Ever since the night of the dance she'd felt a subtle yet significant shift in their relationship. They were still friends, great friends. That mysterious undercurrent was also still coursing beneath surface. Truthfully, it always had been, but there was something different: in his eyes, in his smile, in his words and gestures. Something had changed. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

The corners of her mouth lifted, her lips curving sweetly. She still wasn't sure what to do about her and Lucas. He had made his wishes very clear and had not wavered once since doing so. In his mind they were building up to something more and always had been. What had the librarian said that day when they had first connected? You start on page one and every page you turn brings you deeper into the story."

Was this their story?

And if so, where was it leading?

When they finally opened their time capsules years from now would they all still be together as her parents and Uncle Shawn had been or would it be their first time seeing one another since going separate ways? Would they all even come? Would Farkle take time from ruling the world or running his father's billion-dollar company to dig their memories out of the ground? Would Maya be off somewhere creating art and forget all about the little box they had filled with their hopes and dreams for their future since she would already be living them? If Lucas or Zay went back to Texas would they come all the way back to New York City just to fulfill a promise they had made as teenagers? And what about Riley? Where would she be by then?

Her stomach lurched as two different realizations hit her simultaneously.

Farkle's jewel colored eyes lifted to gaze over at the golden haired beauty sitting diagonally across from him. After nearly a week of pouring over that stupid book he had landed on something called "the rubber band theory." The basic principle was centered around the concept that absence makes the heart grow fonder, that if the one you love is in need of space you give it to them, and lots of it; essentially stretching the parameters of the relationship like a rubber band until they no longer crave distance and you return with everyone's needs met and the bond still firmly intact. Desperate for any kind of change he had taken the so called expert's advice and had backed away drastically.

He was still waiting for her to miss him enough to ask him to come back though.

Perhaps it only worked with romantic relationships?

Maya had spent the last few weeks trying in vain to make sense of herself and her emotions. Though she was surrounded by her friends she often felt alone in the room, in her sea of thoughts and feelings, and she wondered now if this was how Riley had felt harboring her own secret all those months. Had she too been silently grateful that Maya could no longer read her mind and if so did she hate herself for thinking it as much as Maya did at that moment?

The blonde shifted her blue orbs to her right, only to see that Riley was already otherwise distracted. Maya fought the urge to turn around and look into the face that had come so close to giving her what would have been her first kiss. She wasn't even sure why she wanted to. He had been right behind her for over a year before that night by the campfire and the thought had never once crossed her mind until then, so why was it suddenly playing on a loop in her head twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week?

That moment hadn't meant anything. All it had done was wreak havoc on their lives and in the end it had ended the same way it had begun; with Riley wanting Lucas, Lucas wanting Riley, and Maya wanting someone she couldn't have. The only difference was which someone.

She turned back to steal a glance at the boy sitting behind her best friend, hating once more the predicament she found herself in and how cruel she had been to him since the night of the dance. There had been a storm of sensations swelling within her and she'd viciously unleashed it on him. All her anger, her sadness, her confusion and surprise; she had taken it out on him. She'd give anything to take those words back and let him know how sorry she was. Instead she was icing him out and watching him blame himself for it, but what choice did she have?

Farkle had known when she had gone behind her mother's back for their history assignment and learned she came from a long line of Clutterbuckets. He had been the only one to suspect that Maya hadn't been hiding feelings for Lucas since their first meeting on the subway and one of the first to realize she cared about him. She may be a mystery to herself but she wasn't one to him. If she let him back in it would only be a matter of time before he figured it out.

"Alright class, one last item on today's agenda before the bell rings. In approximately five weeks you will become John Quincy Addams Middle School graduates," Cory stated, emphasizing with his hands. "Just take a moment and let that really sink in. You guys will be moving up to high school. This place, it won't be your present anymore," he offered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"It will become your history," he exclaimed dramatically, pausing for effect.

The class began to look around at the students surrounding them as his words began to hit home.

"So for your final group project I want you to pair up in groups of two…and one group of three, he added thinking of the uneven roll list. "I want you to think about who you are and how this place and these people have helped form that person. Then I want you to find your own historical parallel and present it to the class. Fun right?" he asked, clearly amused with his assignment.

A few of the students groaned in response before beginning to pair off as Lucas leaned over his desk, his expectant gaze fixed on the object of his affection.

"Partners?" he asked hoping he sounded calmer than he felt, though he didn't understand why he was so intimidated by such a simple request. They had worked together on many projects in the past but for some reason that he didn't quite understand it was vitally important to him that she say yes.

She tucked her hair back as her eyes flitted from Lucas to Maya, uncertain what she should do. Lucas was the boy that she liked and one of her best friends, but Maya was her very first best friend. She didn't want to choose between them but the idea of them being the one group of three seemed wrong somehow after everything they had been through that year.

Sensing Riley's hesitation Maya made the choice an easy one.

"You should work with Lucas, Riles." She said, biting back the bile forming in her throat.

Was it the idea of sharing Lucas with Riley or the concept of sharing Riley with Lucas that had her so nauseous? She honestly wasn't sure. There seemed to be feelings on both ends of the spectrum; a fact that did nothing to settle her sour stomach.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Yes, he wanted to be Riley's partner. He wanted every spare minute with her that he could possibly get but not if it meant coming between the two girls.

Maya dazzled them both with an award winning smile.

"Yeah, I'm positive. Farkle, Zay and I can be the group of three. Right guys?"

At the mention of their names both boys snapped out of their daze, mumbling their agreeance, neither sure what they had just agreed to.

"See," she said tossing her hands up into the air, "it's all settled."

Riley smiled gratefully at her best friend before shifting her gaze back to Lucas.

"Then I guess we're partners," she declared timidly.

Outwardly Lucas showed his appreciation with a large grin and a nod of his head, but his inner voice was shouting YAY in an enthusiastic Rileyesque fashion.

The gang was in the process of loading up their materials when the bell rang out releasing them from their classrooms. Students jumped up and filed out the door, but Lucas, who was already ready to go, stood patiently waiting for Riley, who seemed completely oblivious to the obviousness of his many gestures since the day he had announced to the entire class that she was the only one he had any intention of being with.

Not only had he effectively shot down the hopes of any other girl who may have sought his interest, but he was constantly seeking out little ways to show Riley how good they could be together. He watched her, even more intently than he had before. He listened more intently too, committing every little detail to memory, ready to assure her at the slightest hint of doubt that might arise. He waited for her and walked with her in such a way that they would accidentally touch though everyone knew it wasn't really an accident at all. To anyone other than Riley it was plain as day that Lucas was all but courting the young girl just waiting for any kind of sign from her that she was ready to move forward.

"We could meet at the bakery after school and work on it there," Riley recommended as she grabbed the last of her books and rose from her seat, Lucas stepping forward to take his newly rightful place behind her.

"Works for me," he offered up a smile as she glanced back over her shoulder for approval of the plan. "How bout you guys?"

Zay and Farkle were quick to agree. The only one who didn't seem entirely on board with the idea was Maya who mumbled something about having to go before disappearing into the girl's bathroom. All three sets of eyes landed on Riley. "the fixer."

"I'll take care of it, you guys go on ahead," she insisted tilting her head toward the hallway their next class was in.

All three nodded in unison and took off down the hall, Lucas stopping once to look back at the beautiful brunette behind him before she too vanished behind the door.

Maya was hiding in the stall, head in her hands. She had to go. She knew that, but the idea of being trapped in a room talking about their feelings and the experiences that made them was enough to make her feel sick. It was easy to hide behind meaningless chit chat but how could she create the illusion of openness enough to survive this assignment without all her dirty little secrets coming to light?

"Peaches?" she heard Riley's honey soaked voice calling out to her.

Her hands drifted down her face as she let out a silent scream of frustration. Again she found herself wondering if this was what she had unknowingly put her best friend through all that time. Had she felt sick to her stomach when telling Maya that she needed to feel whatever she felt? Had she wanted to pull her hair out when she realized she had been paired with Lucas of all people to talk about lies and whether their intentions made them noble? How many times had her heart sunk further into her chest when she had thought of all the things that might happen were the truth ever exposed?

Knowing she had no other choice she unlatched the door and cracked it open.

"Over here honey," she sighed.

Riley rushed over to the appropriate stall, her brown eyes brimming with concern.

"Are you okay?"

She wasn't but she couldn't say that without being asked why or what was wrong and that was a conversation the petite blonde was both unwilling and unprepared to have.

So she lied.

Again.

"Yeah, I'm great. I was just thinking; I mean we're two separate groups technically. Maybe we should do this one separately, ya know?"

The brunette's head tilted to the side as her mind began doing its best to unravel the inner workings of Maya's mind. She wanted to work in different groups alone? But why? If this was about her fight with Farkle, he was in her group. They were going to have to talk sooner or later. Splitting up into their two groups wouldn't keep that from happening. It would put Riley and Lucas in a room alone together though.

"Is this about me and Lucas?" she asked hesitantly.

Maya's blue orbs widened at her words. Was she honestly that easy to read?

The blonde forced a chuckle at the suggestion as she turned on the sink to wash her hands.

"No, Riles I told you to work with Ranger Rick," she defended, hoping it would be enough to keep her sister from seeing the truth.

"Exactly," Riley agreed, surprising her. "First you tell me to work with Lucas. Now you're trying to make it where we have work on this by ourselves without you guys around…" she trailed off unable to continue.

Riley thought she was pushing her toward Lucas…and it kind of sounded like she was. She didn't mean to, of course. She didn't have to. Lucas was doing a fine job pushing himself these days and it was only a matter of time before Riley would make all his hard work worth it. As ridiculous as it sounded to her, it was a great cover story and one that was entirely believable because of her past behavior.

Her shoulders flew up in mock defeat.

"Okay, ya got me! I was just trying to set it up so you two could have some time together, maybe figure out where you stand once and for all," the words tasted bitter on her tongue.

She already knew where everyone stood.

Riley's expression softened at her confession.

"You don't have to do that Maya. Lucas and I will figure this out on her own…in our own time."

Having come to their fictitious agreement they exited the bathroom and headed toward their classroom where the boys were waiting.

"Alright, I'm in," Maya announced with a smile.

Inside she was screaming.

Maya's nightmare only went from bad to worse as the day continued. Within the hour all four of her friends had called or texted to discuss their evening plans with their respective families, so not only was this little therapy session happening, it was happening that afternoon once the final bell rang.

"You know, i just realized that I totally forgot to call my mom and ask for permission," the blonde said feigning absent mindedness, hoping it would offer her an exit strategy.

Instead Riley just shrugged, "that's okay Peaches. You can just call her now. I'm sure she won't mind," she offered her problem solving skills with a smile.

"When's the last time you even asked your mom's permission to go anywhere?" Zay teased.

"Yeah, isn't it just kind of a given that you and Riley go wherever the other goes?" Lucas added, sincerely curious.

This was so hard. Standing there with her best friend trying to say something that she couldn't actually say felt like beating her head against a brick wall; painful and kind of pointless. Riley didn't see it and that wasn't her fault. Maya had done everything in her power to keep the brunette or anyone else from putting the pieces together, which meant she had no right to resent them when they poked holes in her excuses or jumped to incorrect conclusions.

Unable to tell her the truth or wriggle her way out she choked out a laugh and shook her head at her own "silliness."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't even know what I was thinking," she conceded.

Though the awkwardness of the triangle that never really was, was gone and everyone had easily accepted Maya's explanation of confusing her feelings, the dynamic within the group still hadn't fully returned to normal. Having nearly lost her, Lucas seemed determined to be in front of, behind, or beside Riley at all times, who now seemed torn on a daily basis between being Maya's best friend and Lucas's something more. Which was why Maya entered the bakery first, once again making the decision an easy one.

The choice already made for her, Riley sat down next to her sister, leaving the seat on her other side available to Lucas, who happily cozied himself up next to her. Zay plopped himself down next to his lifelong friend, which to the blonde's dismay meant Farkle would be sitting across from her, in the perfect position to observe her every move.

The bubbly brunette placed her arms on the table in front of her with a smile as the waitress brought out snacks and smoothies, courtesy of Topanga, for the kids to enjoy while they worked. Lucas reached out taking two of the beverages in his hands and handing one to the girl sitting next to him. A slight blush tinted her cheeks as their fingers touched with the transfer; the memory of holding his hand in that very spot nearly a year before fresh in her mind.

"Hey sugar," Zay addressed the pretty blonde waitress who was obviously a few years older than them. "Do you happen to know what they call the phase between an unofficial relationship and an actual one?" He asked before turning to face the couple in question. Moments like this had become a regular occurrence over the last month, but that hadn't deterred Zay's commentary in any way. If anything it had only intensified.

Riley began to squirm uncomfortably at his words causing Lucas to smack his friend.

"C'mon man! Was that really necessary?"

Zay responded with a cheesy grin.

"Kind of yeah," he admitted with a chuckle.

Maya's blue eyes drifted down toward the table and the smoothie in front of her. She was happy that her friends were happy but sometimes it was hard to see, especially when Riley was dancing around the issue pretending that nothing was happening.

"Okay, so let's get this over with. Who are we?" She asked as her gaze lifted to her surrounding friends taking charge of the situation.

The brunette next to her leaned into her propped up hands with a smile. "I'm Riley," she exclaimed happily.

Lucas watched her with a smile. "Lucas," he added.

They went around the table calling out their names as though this said everything that needed to be said.

"Wow, this is gonna be easier than I thought," Maya stated gratefully.

The last thing Farkle wanted was to say or do something that might prolong their estrangement. It was clear to him that she didn't want to be there working on the assignment, but it was a big part of their final grade and since he had allowed his to slip that year it was important for him to finish strong.

"That's not what Mr. Mathews is asking us though. He wants to know how we see ourselves and what we've learned from our time together." He hesitated momentarily.

"I don't think this is just an assignment to him. This isn't just our last month as middle schoolers, it's also our last month with him as our teacher. I think he's hoping to find out if he made a difference in our lives and I think we owe it to both him and ourselves to take that seriously," he finished resolutely.

The group of friends once again looked around at one another. None of them had considered that part of the equation until that moment.

"My dad won't be my teacher anymore," her voice sounded forlorn and far away.

It hadn't been that long ago she had walked out of his class demanding a new instructor but now she couldn't imagine anyone else standing in the front of her class, teaching her about life and history, and a million other random things that didn't seem connected but actually were.

Without thought Lucas reached down taking her hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze of assurance. His gesture seemed to snap her out of her trance as her brown eyes glanced down first at their fingers and then up into his face with a soft smile curving her lips.

A tender sweetness surged through the nearby blonde as she watched two of her best friends getting completely lost in one another, until the sensation became too sweet to endure and she nearly gagged on it. She couldn't do this. Maybe Riley had been able to, but she couldn't. Without a word she grabbed her bag and excused herself, quickly rushing out the door.

"Maya wait," Farkle called out as he bolted after her.

Riley fought the urge to follow, remembering her father's words. Maya had been understandably upset by the idea of losing the only father figure she had ever had in some capacity. They all were, but this was their chance to work things out between them and she wasn't about to disrupt that.

Farkle followed Maya down the street as she power walked through the crowd. He was done giving her space. He'd given her more than enough. What kind of friend could he possibly be if he removed himself from her life altogether? Screw the so called expert and all his crappy advice. He might know women but Farkle knew Maya and right now she didn't need space. She needed a friend.

"I'm not going away Maya," he shouted from behind.

She hadn't honestly expected him to. Her shoulders slumped in defeat as she froze in the center of the sidewalk.

"Farkle, please just go away," she pleaded.

He didn't want to know and she didn't want him to.

"No!" He insisted as he reached to turn her to face him. "I'm not leaving you alone, not like this."

She fought against his probing gaze, but he stood patiently waiting until finally she glanced up; face flushed, heart pounding, fear in her eyes.

He hadn't seen her this lost since...

Texas.

"Oh no," he muttered as he looked down into her sapphire eyes once more. It wasn't quite the same expression but similar enough for him to realize what had been staring him in the face all along. One look into his equally tortured eyes and she knew that her secret wasn't a secret anymore.


	79. Chapter 79- Crash Course in Conversation

A/N: **alright guys I know I'm a few days behind. Blame SSS and it's ever growing chapters. Speaking of Chapters just two more until we embark on a new journey in the second installment. You guys are amazing and I'm grateful for every last one of you! Thank you so much for supporting me and this story! :)**

"Why don't you like me," she blurted rather bluntly before she could lose her courage.

Shawn froze mid-step as a memory of his first encounter with Maya Hart ran through his mind. He turned to face the brunette, confusion etched in his every feature.

"I thought we already settled this last Christmas," he stuttered once again feeling small and ill equipped to in her presence.

She rose from her seat on the sofa as she cautiously made her way toward him.

"We did," she admitted, "sort of," she mumbled as she began wringing her hands anxiously. "We talked about the night I was born and how you were the first person other than mom or dad to hold me and how you remembered all these details like how long I was and how much I weighed...but that's all about your connection to them. You love me because I'm their child, but that's not the same as loving me for me," she replied hoping she had somehow made sense of the thoughts she'd been secretly plagued by for so long.

Having finally said the words she lifted her gaze to meet his. His expression shifted from puzzlement to pained and she felt certain she had struck a chord he had been hoping would remain unnoticed. Shawn was her father's Maya. He loved her mom and her brother...he loved her. He just didn't actually like her. How awful it must be, she thought, to dislike your best friend's child! That would be like her disliking a child of the blonde beauty's. She winced internally at her brain's phrasing, the sting associated with those words not forgotten. Certainly he wanted to like her but for whatever reason was unable.

He surveyed the empty room though he wasn't sure why. She had already stated she was the only one home. Perhaps it was just easier than facing her.

"Do you have to be here right now," he asked as he whirled his finger in a circular motion.

Riley brushed her hair back behind her ear before speaking.

"I don't guess so, they'd just need to know where I was and who I was with," she processed her thoughts aloud.

He nodded with a bashful smile.

"Well you'd be with me so...you wanna go somewhere and talk this out once and for all?"

He had never meant to hurt the teenage girl's feelings. He hadn't even realized he was until the tenacious little blonde had called him out during their first meeting. He had assumed that the matter had been resolved but clearly he had been wrong. For whatever reason Cory's daughter was hurting because of something he had or hadn't done and that was a thought he couldn't quite stomach.

She nodded wordlessly and grabbed a light jean jacket as they walked out the door. He led her back to the park where he had taken Katie on their do over date, though in the day it was the gardens and city scape that caught his eye and Riley's as well. It was quiet and ordinary, everything she had been told a relationship shouldn't be built on, but it was also beautiful. She heard the clicking of his camera and turned to find it pointed in her direction. Her head tilted at the realization. Why, when surrounded by so many lovely things, would he choose to photograph her, a girl he didn't even enjoy spending time with?

"Looks a lot different during the day doesn't it," he teased with a smirk that reminded her of her best friend.

Her eyes went round as the implication of his words sank in. He knew that she had been there that night, which meant he probably knew Maya had been too, and if he knew then her parents surely knew and...why wasn't she grounded yet if they knew?

Shawn chuckled as he watched the wheels in the young girl's head turn. Yes, he had known they were there that night, and had allowed them to believe they had gotten away with it. Maya had good reason to be protective of her mom and if Riley was anything like her father she would do anything for her best friend whether she agreed with it or not, just as Cory had all those times for him.

"You're laughing at me," she asked timidly.

It was one thing to suspect he didn't like her but to see him mock her so openly was hurtful. His features darkened to hear the pain in her voice. How was it possible that he kept lowering her self-esteem just by being himself? He needed to find the right words but he didn't know how.

"I'm not laughing at you Riley. I'm laughing at...the situation, I guess? This is my first time being on the other side of this thing. I was always the one coming up with the crazy ideas and getting caught. Sounding like the adult in this scenario, it's ironic to say the least."

So he wasn't laughing at her, but himself?

"But you are the adult," she stated simply provoking another chortle from him.

Why was that so funny? It was a matter of fact.

His hand flew up to his mouth instinctively as he attempted to mask his outburst. She was absolutely right. Technically, legally, he was the adult in the situation and in some ways he felt his age. He had a job, paid his bills, took care of himself...but he had never had to be responsible for another person.

Uncertain what to say or how to respond, she turned her attention to the gardens. The pathway was littered with blue and yellow wild flowers swaying slighting in the breeze. Gently she ran her finger along their delicate petals, her lips curving into a smile. She lowered her face immersing herself in the silk and scent that made her nose tickle. Again she heard the clicking of his camera.

"You don't like talking to me, do you?" She asked, glancing up to face the man behind the lens.

The corners of his eyes and mouth fell as he lowered his camera, wishing she had asked a different question. He could honestly say that he cared about the girl. He could honestly say he didn't dislike her, but there was no honest way to respond that wouldn't make her feel bad and leave her thinking the worst.

Riley saw the look on his face and recognized its meaning. She had struck that chord against his will again. Maybe she should just leave it alone. What purpose would it serve to have him tell her to her face all the reasons she wasn't as likable as her father or her best friend? All it would do is confirm what she already knew and make him feel guilty for having no choice but to admit it. He might even resent her more for backing him into that corner.

His thumb tapped on the side of his camera nervously as he groped for anything to say that wouldn't do more damage than had already been done.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, hiding behind the lens once more. It was easier to put distance between him and reality with a camera in his hand, easier to see things that he might otherwise miss...like the knowing look in those brown eyes.

She shifted her focus back toward the scenery, running her hand along the blooms.

"Because you don't," she answered as if it were obvious. "You know all these things about me as a baby but you don't don't know anything about me now. You've never shown any interest in getting to know me. The only thing you and I have ever discussed is either Dad or Maya and even then it's short, to the point, and then you leave. Even now, you're the one that invited me to talk and you can't already can't wait for it to be over."

Her voice was neither sad or hurt, but void of all emotion.

He hated this. He hated that she was right. Already he was regretting his decision to invite her out. He had wanted to make things right somehow, but the conversation seemed to be growing worse by the minute and now all he wanted was for it to end.

"Riley that's not-" he began to fib but was quickly cut off as she shot him a look of skepticism.

"You don't have to lie to me Uncle Shawn," she brushed her hair back behind her ear before continuing. "I'll admit that it makes me sad...I don't understand why you're willing to have a relationship with everyone in my life except me...what I said or did wrong-"

This time it was his turn to interrupt.

"You didn't do anything wrong."

She wanted so badly to believe that but how could she?

"You know, at first I thought it was because you were jealous that Dad was so focused on me and mom, which made sense with the way you fled the state the week I was born and you never really acknowledged me or Auggie when you came to visit...and then when you did come back I thought maybe I represented something...the family you wanted but didn't have and that was why you avoided me," she paused both verbally and physically as she dared to glance over in his direction.

Shawn stood speechless.

"Do you feel like I'm avoiding you, because I'm swear I'm not," it wasn't much but it was something.

The brunette shook her head with a sad smile as she ran her fingers along the stem of a blue flower. Part of her wanted to pluck it, but she knew if she did she would be ending its life. It was just a flower, one of many, but did she have the right to take its life just because she wanted to keep it close?

"You don't avoid me exactly. You just don't make any effort to know me. A lot of things have changed since then. You come around more often. Things with you and dad are good. You're bonding with my best friend and dating her mom...so if it's not because of dad or you being lonely...and it's not because you can't talk to a teenage girl or don't want to, then the only logical conclusion is that it's something about me."

The last time they'd had this particular discussion she had reminded him so much of his own best friend. She was Cory with Topanga's hair, or so he had thought. But as he stood there listening to her he realized that this young girl was also something that her father never was. He couldn't help but smirk as the thought formed in his mind.

"You know, for a girl who didn't even know Pluto isn't a planet anymore, you sure do notice things," he teased.

Her mouth fell open as her eyes grew in fear. He wasn't supposed to know that. No one was. For whatever reason the people in her life needed her to be "Smiley Riley" the ever ignorant bird watcher, and she loved them enough to try and be what they needed. She trusted her friends and their judgement and so she willfully remained in the dark of all things they deemed unworthy of Rileytown. That didn't mean she was unaware of its existence though. Only one other person knew this about her and thankfully he was no longer part of her life. As long as Shawn didn't put her, no one would ever have to know...and even if he did, who would believe him?

"So I was right then," she replied.

He hadn't denied her accusations thought part of her had really hoped he would.

Shawn felt himself squirming and he hated it. He was a grown man for pete's sake and she was just a teenage girl! He hadn't been this uncomfortable with fourteen year old girls when he had been surrounded by them as a fourteen year old boy. He rubbed the stubble on his chin as he considered his response. He had said they would put the matter to rest that day and he wanted no lingering doubts or confusion when they did so.

"About a lot of it, yeah." He admitted shamefully. "The truth is that for a very long time before you were ever even thought of I was jealous of your mom and dad; what they had, how strong it was, how consistent. I wanted that and I looked for it. I found girls that I liked. I found a girl that I loved-" he thought he heard her mumble Angela's name, but wasn't sure she spoke it so quietly. "But I couldn't find what they had. We all came to the city together but they were moving forward in ways I couldn't and I did, I felt like I was losing him to his family, but that was okay because I knew that was right. He was exactly where he was supposed to be...being a husband, being a dad..." He trailed off for a moment reliving the memories. Even after all that time it was difficult to do.

"So you left?" She asked, urging him to continue.

He sighed with a nod of his head.

"Yeah, I did and I stayed away for a long time. Until one Christmas I came home and...this very intelligent and strange little bird pushed me forward for the first time in years...when she forced me into a window with her best friend."

Maya and Shawn had been an obvious match from the start. They were practically mirror images of the other with traumatic childhood memories and witty sarcasm. If anyone could understand the fiery blonde and connect with her surely it would be someone like her.

"You needed each other," she commented with a shrug of her shoulders, "you just...couldn't see that. I think you had both been hurt and disappointed so much that you were afraid to let someone in...but I figured two people that were that afraid of pain would be careful not to cause it. You'd appreciate each other...and you do," she finished brightly. Regardless of whatever issues were between him and her she was grateful for the way he had stepped up for her friend.

A smile formed as he listened. He had always wondered what had driven her to "bay window" him that day. Maya Hart was the most important person in Riley's life. For her to entrust Maya to him was a big leap of faith on both girl's parts and one he did not take lightly. Just as she had predicted.

"You're right, I do. Maya and I we're a lot alike and I care about her a lot-" he had more to say but the brunette had something else to say too.

"And Katie?" She inquired.

He chuckled at the question, not because it was funny but because he should have seen it coming.

"Yeah, I mean we're still getting to know each other, but I care about her too. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt either of them," he assured, pressing his hand to his heart in earnest.

Riley smiled at his confession.

"I knew that Uncle Shawn."

He nodded with another smirk as they continued to walk down the path. Of course she had known. Silence once again settled between them, however, this time it was slightly more comfortable now that they had each opened up a little. Both admired their surroundings, the sunlight, the flowers, the couples lost in their own world and the nearby giggling of children from the playground. It was easy to see the beauty in the world in a place like the one they were strolling.

The conversation had gotten off to a rocky start, but had gone better than she had dared to hope. Perhaps she should quit while she was ahead. He didn't have anything personally against her that she knew of and she wanted to keep it that way for everyone's sake, but she had already forced the issue and they had both agreed to let the matter rest at the end of the day for good. She didn't want to leave anything unresolved.

"Thank you for telling me all of that but," her gaze lowered to her feet momentarily, "that only explains the beginning. What about now that you have Maya and Katie and a home to come back to? I mean, they aren't technically family but they are people you belong to and people that belong to you. That's what you wanted isn't it?" Her brown eyes probed his, seeing for the third time an unwanted chord had been struck that evening.

There was a flash drive of anger in his eyes as he threw his hands up in deadest.

"That's the problem! I only have those things because of you! I'm a grown man and the only reason that I'm not wandering aimlessly with nothing and no one to my name is because my best friend's fourteen year old daughter took one look at me and knew exactly what I life needed when I didn't. You're a child and you already have life more figured out than I do. It's intimidating and honestly a little embarrassing!"

He wasn't shouting but his tone had taken on a snappish quality that he wasn't proud of. It wasn't her fault that he was such a mess and she wasn't.

Her head was spinning. He thought that she had life more "figured out" than him? That's why he had spent all that time pushing her away, making her feel somehow inferior to everyone he was willing to make an effort with, because SHE had life "figured out?!" Although she felt like screaming she found herself giggling. Not a happy chiming giggle but a dark, sarcastic...could giggles be sarcastic, way that she had heard many times but never from her own lips.

"You think I'M put together? That I have life all figured out? Me? The girl that managed to get herself into a giant mess with two of the most important people in her entire life! Maya and I used to read each other's minds and now I don't know what she's thinking or feeling, and I'm terrified because not only are we losing our connection but I can feel her pulling away and I can't even be upset about it because she's getting everything she wants and I'm happy for her," her voice was rising the further into her rant she became.

She was trying so hard to be a better person, to learn from her mistakes and do better, but not interfering and pretending not to see left her with too many bottled emotions that Shawn had unintentionally ignited like a firecracker on the Fourth of July.

"She doesn't need me anymore. And then there's this thing with Lucas, who for some unknown reason likes me, I mean REALLY likes me and of course I like him too because he's cute and smart and funny and good, he makes me feel..." Her hands literally grasped for the words she couldn't find, "possible and...real...and so much more than I actually am." That was the only way she could think to describe whatever it was between them. "And of course I want us to be more than just friends but if I say yes then it ruins everything and we end up just like you and Angela or Jack and Rachel and all those other couples that break up and stop talking and I just...can't," her voice cracked on the word, "not talk to him. I can't."

She had sliced, diced, and analyzed their situation from every angle but it always came down to that one major life altering concern. A life without Lucas was one she had no interest in living and one she couldn't possibly believe the universe had intended her to. Still each day she spent with him she couldn't help but feel was another grain of sand running through the sieve marking their time together.

"Not that it's gonna matter once we start high school and we all start branching off anyway. They all know who they are, what they want, what they're good at. They're all going to be working toward their goals and I'm just going to be drifting without a clue what to do with the rest of my life. I don't have anything figured out. I barely know how to make it through the day sometimes."

His mouth fell in shock. How could he have possibly been so wrong. Maybe it was because he had seen Maya and Riley as himself and Cory, or because he had been so focused on all the obvious similarities he shared with her best friend, but somehow he had done exactly what she had accused him of. He had looked right past her, delving no deeper than the surface and missing what was hiding just beneath.

Whatever compulsion that had possessed her to spill her guts in such a public and dramatic way had now evaporated, leaving her wishing for a place to hide. The things that she had just said to Shawn he hadn't shared with anyone. She had just revealed all her cards, not just to him, but to herself as well. The words had been spoken and now they were real. She was losing Maya. Were she to follow her heart she would lose Lucas too. And eventually she would be left behind altogether.

She stood eerily silent, breathing loud and thinking louder. Sheer horror was written on her young face. As the tears began to form her expression shifted from terror to anger as she fought them back. She had already made a spectacle of herself in front of him and everyone in their presence. The last thing she probably wanted was to burst into tears causing herself further shame and embarrassment. Shawn placed his hand on her shoulder, offering her an anchor back to reality. Feelings the weight of his hand reminded her where she was and what was happening that moment. Slowly she lifted her gaze, her tear filled eyes meeting his own. He was practically a stranger, but at the minute he was also her sanity.

"Slow down kid," he stated with emphasis. "No wonder you're drowning, that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. It's too much. You are only fourteen years old. It's okay not to know what the rest of your life is going to look like right now. Now if you're my age and you still don't know anything that's a little different," he tilted his head to the side as if half shrugging and she couldn't help but crack a small smile, followed by a weak giggle that made him respond in kind.

"Look you can ask Maya, I'm not very good at this. Advice and wisdom are more Cory's thing, but...I'm gonna give this a shot, okay?"

She nodded her agreement.

Shawn took a deep breath and tried to think back on his own life experience and the lessons he and Cory had learned over the years. He tried to remember what it had been like to her age and how scary the future might have seemed to them back then. He knew he probably wasn't the best person to do this, but he was who she had at the moment and he could see why she wouldn't want to talk to her parents about these things. He took one more deep breath, blowing it out in a gust.

"Alright here it goes, I know that you are Riley Mathews, and because of that you've probably grown up with some really high expectations. You grew up knowing the legend Cory and Shawn and being the daughter of the modern day Romeo and Juliet, without all the dying at the end. Those are some pretty big shoes to fill."

She nodded again, sniffling as she did so.

"Yeah...it really is," she whispered.

This was why she hadn't spoken to Topanga either. He could understand why she wouldn't go to Cory for boy advice but now he knew how isolated she truly felt and why. She had been born into an impossible role; Cory and Topanga, Cory and Shawn, the next generation. But his childhood friends were good and loving and everything a person or parent should be. The last thing she would ever want is to hurt them and admitting that their legacy was too much for her might...so she bore the weight of the Mathews crown alone.

"Here's the thing though, life doesn't normally work like that. That doesn't mean that it can't or it won't, but doesn't always. I was lucky enough, I am lucky enough," he corrected, "to have a friendship like mine and your father's, but you know I also had other friends who I'm not as close to. And I've never had a love like your mom and dad, but I did have Angela, who was a great friend and my first love and it wasn't perfect. We were both afraid of what might happen if we tried and failed. She was convinced that we would end up hating each other. I was convinced we would end up living happily ever after. Turns out we were both wrong. We didn't last forever, but what we had, while we had it, was one of the highlights of my life and I don't regret a minute of it and neither does she. I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything but that doesn't mean that I can't care about someone else or that I shouldn't."

He paused reigning in his thoughts. Her outburst had been on so many different concerns and he wanted to touch on them all.

"My point is...you're still just a kid. You're still figuring out who you are, so is Maya, so is Lucas, so is everyone. But you won't be able to learn anything by never making decisions and always playing it safe. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful. You should. You should think about how your choices affect your future, but that shouldn't keep you from living your life. I don't know what will happen between you and your friends but I do know both me and your dad and your mom and your dad, we had a lot of moments where things could have gone the other way. We could have lost each other but we didn't because we fought for it, we worked at it...we made each other a priority and something tells me that's the kind of person you are too. As for not knowing what you wanna do, I mean your dad entered college still not knowing so you've got plenty of time to figure that one out."

The brunette's brows creased together as she considered his words of wisdom. Each time they spoke she learned something about her parents or their history that she hadn't known before. Seeing them through his eyes was an interesting experience. It was one of the reasons she was so curious about what he saw when he looked at her. He had called her Cory with Topanga's hair and she had supposed that meant she reminded him of her father, but she had always wondered how so and why he remained so distant if that were the case.

"When did dad finally find his calling?" She couldn't imagine still not having a talent four years down the road. The thought was too terrifying.

Shawn chuckled at the memory forming in his mind.

"Seventh grade."

The man watched again as her internal gears began to grind.

"But you just said that he didn't find it until he was in college," she reminded.

His finger raised in objection. "I said that he didn't know what he wanted to do until then. Sometimes we find things before we're ready and it takes us a little time to realize its significance. He and Feeny made a deal to switch places. He was the teacher and Feeny was the student for the week. The first day Cor had the class call him "hey dude" and goof off, but later that week something happened that really made an impact on your dad and he taught us about it. At the time he thought he wanted to grow up and play baseball, but I think your dad was always a teacher he just didn't know it yet."

She nodded once more digesting his response.

"And what about you? Did you always want to be a writer, a photographer?"

He shook his head with a smirk.

"Uh not really. Back then I had pretty low expectations for myself. I wasn't sad or hopeless about it I just thought of it as a matter of fact that I would follow in my family's stumbling steps. It never really occurred to me that I could be more back then..." He trailed off as he thought back on his childhood and the few precious memories he had when things were good with his parents and they were both actually there.

"But you are," she insisted, "you're a good writer and you take beautiful pictures. You're a great best friend according to my dad and I've never seen Maya and her mom so happy. And you're a lot better at this than you think you are."

His expression brightened at her words. She was definitely her parent's daughter and equally determined to see the best in him.

"Thanks. You're gonna be okay Riley. I know it might not feel that way right now, but you will be." He reaffirmed as he wrapped his arm around his niece and began leading her out of the park. "I might not have done a great job of showing it but I do care about you and I'm here if you need me, always."

She beamed with gratitude, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Never would she have believed her confrontation could lead to such a genuine moment between them, but his attempt at advice had been very helpful, as was the knowledge that their relationship went past him tolerating her for the sake of Maya or her dad. They had taken the first step and if she they had to work at it a little bit she was ready and willing to do so.


	80. Chapter 80- History Repeating

**A/N: Can't believe how close we are to the finish line. Just one more chapter and then we begin the journey through high school in Cracks in the foundation. Thank you so much for your love and support! Hope you enjoy this series as much I am enjoying writing it! :)**

Topanga Mathews tiptoed down the stairs of their family home, careful not to wake her children. As she reached the bottom she found her husband Cory sitting at the kitchen table pouring over papers she could only assume were lesson plans. Gently she shook her head, her lips curling into an adoring smile. He might be a little crazy at times, and this was most likely one of those times, but she wouldn't trade their life together for anything or anyone. Quietly she entered the kitchen, feeling him jump when she laid her hand on his shoulder. He smiled back at her with tired eyes and a thin smile before shifting his gaze back toward the papers scattered across the table.

"Cory, sweetie, it's four am. Come back to bed," she whispered as she massaged his shoulders.

Her husband shook his head in refusal. "I can't, not yet."

She had expected as much. He had been turning himself inside out for weeks as the end of the school year approached.

"Honey, its finals week. There's nothing left in the curriculum to teach them," she tried again.

His head snapped over to meet her face, his expression haggard, worried. "That doesn't mean there's nothing left they need to know." He snapped defensively.

The corners of her mouth fell and instantly he hated himself for taking his frustration out on her. He let out an exasperated sigh as he searched for the right words to apologize and explain his predicament.

"I'm sorry," he began sincerely. "I know that they're growing up and I'm supposed to let go gracefully. Wave goodbye and wish them well, but I can't," he strained the severity of the last word. "They're not my students anymore. They're going into high school and they're not ready..." he trailed off in defeat.

He was their teacher. It was his job to make sure that each and every one of his students were prepared to move on and for the first time in his career he felt as though he had failed.

Topanga smiled sympathetically as she played with the curls on her husband's neck. "Are you sure that it's not you who isn't ready? They're good kids Cory and they might not be your students anymore but Riley and Maya are still our girls, and we both know anywhere they go Farkle follows..."she paused a moment before broaching what she knew was a sensitive subject, "and even though you don't want to admit it I know you've grown fond of Lucas and I don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon either."

Cory groaned at that last remark.

"Yeah, I don't either," he grumbled.

She laughed at his ambivalence toward the issue.

"I'm gonna give them my best until our very last second together," he said glancing down at his papers once more.

Topanga wrapped her arms around him and gave him a loving squeeze.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," she replied planting a kiss on his temple.

Despite his wife's attempts to console him, Cory had remained awake all night questioning the sinking feeling in his gut. Watching his students move on had always been a bittersweet affair but this was the first time that he had ever dreaded the event. Several had contributed the heaviness of his teacher's spirit with having his own child as a student, and he couldn't deny that fact played a part in his melancholy, but he couldn't rationalize the feeling away with reminders that she would always be his little girl or that he would have more time to teach her outside of the classroom.

As he watched his students file into the classroom for their last week together it hit him once again that for a lot of these kids he had in fact run out of time. It had been his job to prepare them for what was to come next and as they stood on the threshold of graduation he found himself wondering if he had neglected them. His brown eyes landed first on his daughter as they always did, then the blonde next to her and the boys who had taken on roles of significance in their lives.

Slowly his gaze traveled over each face surrounding him. They were his students too and though he knew them all by name, how many had he really helped throughout the year?

"Alright class, the time has come for our final lesson together, but this week I'm not the teacher. You are." He gestured to the class. "Let's see what you've learned."

Riley sat silently contemplating her conversation with Shawn and the deal her father had once made with Mr. Feeny. She rotated her head taking in each classmate wondering if today would be the day when one of them found their calling.

Maya glanced nervously between her two partners as they made their way to the front of the classroom. The first few days they had simply sat around and talked about their time together, what they learned and how. It had taken a considerable amount of time and research, but eventually they had found a historic parallel that suited all three of their life lessons. Two sets of blue eyes shifted toward Zay, whose lesson was to begin their presentation. The boy who usually sought out the direct attention of the class stepped forward timidly, shuffling his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other.

Mr. Mathews stood at the back of the classroom patiently waiting with his hands clasped. He knew that both Zay and Maya would probably prefer to have gone last but they had chosen to partner with Farkle, who always insisted on going first.

"You may begin whenever you're ready," he encouraged with a thin smile.

All eyes were on Zay Babineaux and as he stood there he found himself thinking of their forgiveness projects earlier that year when Maya had stood up there alone to publicly make amends. Never before had he realized how difficult what she had done probably was. At least he wasn't alone, but she had braved the spotlight by herself, for his sake, and he had never truly appreciated it until that moment.

"Okay, so...we decided to parallel to our personal experience at JQA with World War Two," he began as he tried to remember the rest of his lines. "During that time in Europe the Nazis were killing people; mostly Jews but there were others too. During the invasion of Normandy U.S troops landed in different areas and some were expected to find their own security while they waited for the right time to attack, and they relied on the goodness of others to help hide them until then.

Their teacher unclasped his hands gesturing to the boy. "And this relates to you how?" He asked curiously.

Zay's gaze shifted down to his childhood friend.

"Because I had one ally in Texas; one true friend, and when he moved away...I followed him. I was in a strange place, with new people and only one ally. But he pointed me in the direction of some other people that he thought I should get to know and as always I trusted his judgement. I got to know those people and they became my friends too, and together they gave me somewhere to belong."

Again he addressed the fellow Texan sitting in the audience. "Thanks for that man," he said with a grin of sincerity, which the second boy returned with one of his own. "Anytime." He replied as Riley and several other girls "awwed" from the sidelines.

Farkle was up next to present. Unlike Zay and Maya who dreaded the responsibility of public speaking, he thrived under the pressure and enjoyed educating his teacher and classmates.

"A lot of trust and courage was required for this system to work. These people were strangers and they were risking everything for each other, because despite their differences, they believed in a common good. We don't always know who our allies are. Some of them are more obvious like America and Canada," he explained as his eyes travelled between the blonde standing next to him and the brunette in the front row. "But some are less obvious, like the Germans hiding Jews in their own country, behind enemy lines. Sometimes the people we think we should distance ourselves from are the very people we need the most."

Finally, all eyes were on the blonde who was the only one left to present. Fortunately, all she had to do was wrap up their project and that was the easy part. "These partnerships were sometimes the difference between life and death. They had to really trust each other and their own judgement because if it went wrong then it affected everyone on both sides. Middle school isn't quite that serious but it feels like it sometimes...like one wrong word or action really will blow everything up. Because what we do, it does affect others and so we have to lean on each other just like they did and trust that each other are worth the risks we take."

Maya could feel Farkle's eyes burning into her as they took their seats. He was the only one who had any idea how personal her lesson truly was and which risks she was referring to, and if he had his way Riley and Lucas would know too. The genius had tried everything short of blackmail and still she wouldn't budge. Each of her friends had already made sacrifices for the sake of the group. Now it was her turn and she accepted that.

Feeling emboldened by her friends' presentation about the importance of courage and trusting one another she took the opportunity to scribble something down on a piece of paper and pass it on to her best friend, who then "accidentally" dropped it on the corner of the desk behind her for its intended audience.

Lucas sat on the school's newly dedicated "friendship bench." It was to be the legacy of their graduating class; their gift to those who would follow. His leg bounced wildly as he waited for her to appear. He could only assume that she had called him there for one reason and that was to discuss the questionable status of their relationship. She had asked him to meet with her at the friendship bench. Was that her answer? Were they only to be friends and if so what was he supposed to do with that?

His green eyes looked up just in time to meet with hers as she rounded the corner. Her lips formed a smile, but not her sweet genuine one that he adored. This smile was inspired by nerves. Quietly she sat down next to him and summoned her courage to speak. It had taken her months to come up with a yes or no. Once she had managed that she had begun crafting the perfect speech, one she had rehearsed tirelessly over the last few days before finally calling this meeting. Suddenly she hopped in her seat, turning every part of her to face him.

"First of all, I just want to say that I'm really sorry. You asked me a question the night of the dance and I froze. I wasn't expecting you to still like me after everything I'd done, and I wasn't sure what to say so I asked you to wait and you did. But I know three months is a really long time to wait and-"

This was not going how she had planned. Once she had opened her mouth all her eloquent words had vanished and she now sounded like a rambling mess.

Lucas reached up taking her hands into his own as he spoke. "Hey, I would wait even longer if that's what you needed me to do. I just want you to be sure," he assured gently. He hated the waiting and the uncertainty but he wouldn't push her, no matter how long it took.

She glanced down to where he had rested both sets of hands in her lap. It felt so good to have her hand in his again...right even, which only made her more sure that she was doing the right thing.

"That was the problem. I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. I mean, we tried being a couple Lucas and parts of it were really wonderful..." she trailed off self-consciously as Lucas picked up right where she had left off. He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. There had been a time he thought he'd never get the chance again. Even now he didn't know if it would ever happen again, but he wouldn't dwell on that fear. "Like holding your hand?" He ventured softly.

His tenderness made her smile, this time it was the real thing. "And you walking me home," she added.

His grin grew from one side of his face to the other. He had enjoyed those things too.

"I liked being your girlfriend...but I like talking with you more."

That was the downside of being an official couple. In gaining the girlfriend of his dreams he had lost his best friend, and if he had to choose he would rather have his best friend. But did he really have to choose? Wasn't there some way that they could have both?

He swallowed the lump in his throats as he fought to ask the question he didn't really want the answer to anymore.

"So that's it? We're just gonna be friends? Ignore our other feelings?"

How could she possibly do that? He hadn't been able to do that when he thought he was in this alone. How could he deny those feelings now that he knew she returned them?

To his surprise the brunette shook her head in refusal. "I thought that was the right thing to do. That's what we agreed when we broke up; to just be friends and I tried that. I did. I called you my brother-"

His eyes grew wide as his mind chewed on her words. "Wait, I thought you did that because you thought there was something between me and Maya?"

There wasn't. There never had been and for the life of him he couldn't understand why everyone had been so convinced otherwise.

She shrugged in response. "That was part of it, but honestly I'd been distancing myself from you for weeks before that. Ever since the dance...it was just easier to let everyone think what they wanted."

He bolted up from the bench, pacing as his mind reeled. She had been pulling away from him all that time and for what? He hadn't liked that she had given him up to make Maya happy but at least that he could understand. Her selfless nature was one of the things he loved most about her but she had only let them think she had done it for Maya.

He reached instinctively for the spot on the back of his neck. "I don't understand Riley. Why would you push me away like that when you knew how I felt about you?"

Riley rose from her seat as well. He had been so patient and so understanding. Of course he would be angry once the truth came out and he would have every right to be. The night everything had come out their conversation had focused around his feelings or lack thereof for her best friend and the fact that she had lied. He'd fought so hard that night to convince her they belonged together, but would he still believe that once he knew everything? It didn't matter. Everything she had put him through she owed him that much.

Anxiously she brushed her hair back from her face. "Do you remember what I said to you in Texas?" She asked gingerly.

Lucas turned to face her, the mossy green of his eyes darkened by frustration. "You said a lot of things in Texas Riley," he snapped. As she wilted beneath his anger he instantly regretted his tone. He hadn't meant to be short with her. He just didn't want to go back to that night ever again. It hurt to relive it all, even knowing now what he hadn't at the time.

"You said we were good at talking, but not at holding hands," he offered with a sigh. "Then you said you loved me like your brother," he grimaced at the word, "and asked Maya how she felt about me," he recalled aloud.

That wasn't all she had said.

Timidly she stepped forward, wanting to reach out but uncertain if she should.

"Actually what I said was I love you Lucas, and now I know how. And I know you thought I meant as a brother. That's what I wanted you to think but..."she took another step forward, her brown eyes pleading for him to hear her out. "I knew that wasn't what I meant when I said it."

Lucas ran a hand through his hair as he thought back on those words. He had been so caught up, first in his confusion over the lie, and then in his determination to prove his worthiness, that he had never given the words themselves any thought once the truth came out. He shuffled forward, though he wasn't sure how he had willed himself to do so.

"Riley...what are you trying to say?"

His heart beat wildly at the possibility of what she might say.

Her head tilted to the side as she smiled weakly. She could lose him, assuming she hadn't already. He might not even want to hear what she had to say...she hadn't considered that until the moment was upon them but she had already opened the door. There was no backpedaling now.

"I'm saying that I love you Lucas," he released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"You...love me?"

Never had he expected to hear her say those words.

She nodded her confirmation. "I do, Lucas, I love you. And it's different from how I love Auggie...or Farkle...or Maya..."

She had fought it, had denied it, she'd even projected it onto her best friend, but the truth was there was something between the two of them. There always had been.

"I've always liked you and somewhere along the way it started to become something else," she was trying to explain the only way she knew how.

Lucas stood there completely dumbfounded. Riley loved him. And not like a brother or even a friend. She loved him as something else. He had often asked himself what it was between them and what it meant. He wasn't entirely sure, but he did know that she was special to him and those feelings went beyond friendship. He also knew that he would do anything for her. He had never dared to use that word but associating it with the girl standing in front of him felt right. Being with her always did...and yet being just her friend hadn't felt like enough.

"For me too," he confessed taking her hands once more and leading them back toward the place where good decisions were made.

She beamed her approval and relief. Part of her wanted to stop right there. This moment was so incredibly perfect and she just wanted to hold on, but that wasn't an option. She still hadn't given him a yes or no.

Could he have her?

Would she want him to?

"I think that maybe you were right when you said we're supposed to be more, but I also like what we are now."

The blonde nodded his agreement. It felt good to feel like they were finally on the same page again. It had been so long since he had felt confident in their connection.

"I do too," he admitted as his thumb grazed her knuckles.

Riley took a deep breath. So far he had agreed with her on nearly everything.

"It's a big risk moving from friends to more...and I'm not saying that we aren't worth it because I think maybe we are, or we can be..."

He couldn't deny what she was saying. He had been wrestling with the same concerns for awhile. Where would they be had all this confusion not happened? If he hadn't come so dangerously close to losing her they would still be taking their time and doing things their own way. He hadn't asked her to be his girlfriend because they were ready, as they had promised. He had asked her because he thought it was now or never and he simply couldn't live with never.

"But not yet," he replied finishing her thought.

She searched his face for any sign of disappointment but to her surprise there wasn't any.

"I just think if we're going to take that risk first we should understand exactly what it is we are risking," she stated carefully.

Lucas nodded with a smile as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Maybe the problem wasn't being unofficial...maybe the problem was not being clear about what we wanted," he suggested as he absentmindedly played with her fingers before looking up into her soft brown eyes. "I want to be your boyfriend, when we're ready."

She leaned in brushing her lips lightly against his, feeling him smile against hers. "And I want to be your girlfriend. When we're ready."

It seemed silly, having gone through so much just to come back to the place they had decided on at the beginning of the year. Only this time they had left nothing open to interpretation and that appeared to make all the difference. For the first time in months a sense of peace and well being encompassed them both as they realized that they had actually learned something from all those less than pleasant experiences. Their situation hadn't been ideal, but strangely it did serve its purpose of moving them one step closer to their ultimate goal. It was this lesson that they chose to present the next day as their final history project.

The two stood in front of the class, quiet yet meaningful glances passing between them as Lucas began. "In 1296 builders began construction on what they hoped would be the crown jewel of their city, the Florence Cathedral. It was decided that this plan would showcase the world's then largest cupola. The only trouble was that no one knew how to make this happen." He explained before his gaze shifted over toward his partner with a smile.

"Decades later," Riley continued, "a competition was held to select a person who could make their dream a reality. Filippo Brunelleschi was that man. He had no formal training and no real previous experience. His plan was experimental and risky, but it worked. Even when they had no idea how they would complete the project they kept building," she smiled in Lucas's direction. "They trusted that an answer would come when the time was right," he concluded returning the smile of their secret promise.

They would keep building and trust that the right time would come.


	81. Chapter 81- Leaving Childhood Behind

**A/N: Sorry this has taken so long, but I'm here now and I come bearing a chapter. I know I originally said we had one chapter left but the muses had other plans so now we have this chapter and then two more to complete this installment. I willing be posting the first chapter of the sequel _Cracks in the Foundation_ along with the final chapter of this story as well. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me! I hope you will follow into the second leg of their story.**

Riley rose that morning, not to the ringing of her alarm or the not so gentle nudging of her best friend, but from the scent of cinnamon that was wafting throughout the apartment. It tickled her nose, delighting her sense; beckoning her to return from slumberland. As she rubbed the sleep from her eyes it all came back to her. Today was her very last day as a student of John Quincy Addams. In just a few short hours she would be a middle school graduate and bound for her first year of high school three short months later. It was a lot to take in and at present she would much rather focus on the cause of that delicious smell than the unknown future looming overhead.

She wandered lazily down the stairs; the corners of her mouth lifting into a grateful smile as she caught sight of her mother making her favorite cinnamon roll pancakes. Topanga glanced up to see her beautiful fourteen year old standing at the base of the stairs; her mind playing tricks on her. In one blink she was a toddler waddling through the apartment and in the next she was a teenager who would be a freshman in the fall. She grinned in pride, tears threatening to fall from the creases of her eyes.

"Morning sweetie," she chimed as she flipped the pancake over to finish frying.

The brunette came closer, pouring herself a mug of coffee and stirring in sugar and caramel syrup. Once it was perfectly flavored she took a seat at the table.

"Mom you didn't have to do all this," she said before taking a sip from the mug cradled in her hands.

Topanga scooped a plateful of pancakes from the pile and sat it down on the table in front of her daughter.

"Of course I did, she replied, "it's not every day that your oldest child becomes a middle school graduate."

Riley shook her head at the label, her brown eyes surveying the room. Usually the smell of food would have lured her father down the stairs by then.

"Where's daddy," she asked curiously, taking another sip of her morning beverage.

Her mother joined her at the table after setting plates for all the family members.

"The last time I saw him he was upstairs going through your baby book and trying to turn back time but that was at least half an hour ago so could be cursing the heavens or crying in the fetal position, depending on how quickly he's working through the grief cycle," she teased though knowing her husband and his dramatic flair she probably wasn't too far off.

The young woman had always been aware of her father's struggle but never before had she felt guilty for not being able to freeze in place as she knew he often wished. It had been frustrating at times and amusing at others, but she would never wish any sort of pain on him. Nor would she want to be the cause of it. As she focused in her mother's face she could see evidence of a similar battle in the softness of her eyes and the way she looked constantly on the edge of tears but willing them not to fall.

"This is really hard for you guys, isn't it?"

Topanga smiled sweetly at her little girl who was often too observant for her own good. This day wasn't supposed to be about her or Cory. It was about Riley and celebrating her accomplishment. Gently she laid her fork down and took the brunette's face in her hands. There was traces of both child and woman there and her heart swelled until it ached at the realization of just how much her baby had grown and changed even within just the last few years.

"It's hard to look back and remember how small you were and how much you needed us in the beginning when days like today seemed so far away," her tone strangled on those last few words, "but I am so proud of the young woman that you've become, and so excited to see who you're going to end up being and how you'll leave your mark on this world," she assured as a single tear trickled down her cheek, which she quickly brushed away.

"I better go check on your father and see what's keeping your brother," she said as she removed herself from the table.

Riley sat silently eating her pancakes and contemplating her own feelings about the day. While they had been dreading the day she would grow up that was all she could remember wanting to do, for so long. Then she had actually began the process and found it far less enjoyable than she had previously imagined. Her father had said that the events following their visit to Texas were only the beginning. Her mother had said that mastering her emotions would be even scarier than riding Tombstone the bull. Neither of these statements had filled her with a burning to desire to move forward.

"Hey family," the door flung open and there stood a tall and handsome young man with piercing blue eyes and a lazy smile.

She dropped her fork and leapt from her seat.

"Uncle Josh," she exclaimed excitedly, "what are you doing here?"

Her arms wrapped around him and he returned the embrace; his handsome features wrinkling in confusion as they separated.

"Uh, my niece is graduating today. Where else would I be," he asked as though it were obvious.

Riley brushed her hair back behind her ear. She hated that everyone was building this day up to be so important when she was trying so hard to pretend it was an ordinary occurrence.

"It's just middle school. It's not like a major milestone or anything," she recited in her best attempt at flippancy.

Josh peered at his niece in surprise. He would expect this attitude from her sassy blonde counterpart. However, hearing those words from the mouth of his brother's daughter just sounded wrong and uncharacteristic. Had she changed so much in the few months he had been gone?

"Actually, it kind of is," he conceded. "You're about to step into a whole new world."

Her brown eyes grew big and round as her mouth fell open; panic stricken.

"So it really is as big a deal as I think it is," the words came out rushed and smushed together.

His eyebrows rose and his gaze narrowed.

"But you just said-"

She let out an exasperated sigh, throwing her hands in the air.

"I was trying not to be over dramatic," she deadpanned. Suddenly her expression changed becoming both dreamlike and forlorn. "I feel like I'm saying goodbye to my childhood Uncle Josh," she proclaimed in her more usual theatrical way.

A knowing smirk crossed his lips as he fought the urge to laugh. This was the Riley he knew and loved; a little goofy, but just idealistic enough to amuse and inspire, and he hoped that the world would never rob her of that.

"The delivery was a little over the top," he teased, but the statement is pretty accurate," he offered a loving nudge to her shoulder. "You're growing up kid...Which means you, my brotha, are getting old," he teased as he caught sight of Cory's head poking from around the corner.

The older man glared in response. "Well, no pancakes for you," he declared haughtily, but the younger boy only chuckled at his words.

"Enjoy em' while you can big brother. Won't be long until you'll have to start worrying about things like sugar and cholesterol," Cory looked down at his large stack of cinnamon pancakes. Surely this one helping wouldn't cost him that much. "I'm serious Cor, you've got to take care of yourself. I want you around long enough to start finding little gray hairs and taking advantage of senior deals with dad on weekends," his tone shifting from mockery to forewarning.

Never before had he really thought about those things. To an eighteen year old boy mortality wasn't usually a concern unless something or someone brought it into question. Over the last few months he had learned more about the aging process and all the ways a body could wear down than he had ever hoped to know. He had tried to ignore the hushed whispers between his parents and the sudden change in diet but it was hard not to see what had been staring him in the face all along.

Cory sat the plate of pancakes back down on the table and gripped the counter. His face contorting into a mask of paranoia.

"I-I don't feel so well," he stuttered grasping at his heart, "I'm feeling a little lightheaded. I think I'll go lie down before the ceremony," he rambled as he began to head for the stairs, all thoughts of breakfast gone. He passed his wife on the stair case, taking her hand in his and clutching it to his chest. "If I don't wake up, know that I loved you and that I don't blame your for your pancakes killing me," he assured before continuing his trek as though he feared he were a dead man walking.

Topanga shifted her gaze to her brother in law.

"Why would you do that? You know what a whackadoodle your brother is. Now I'm going to have to spend the next six months convincing him he's not dying," she chastised in frustration.

Josh offered a sly boyish grin in apology. He hadn't meant to scare his brother, only to tease him a little and maybe make him a little more aware.

"I may be dying Topanga, but I can still hear," he shouted from the top of the stairs, making them all fight back the instinctual laughter.

She rolled her eyes before heading back upstairs to deal with her hypochondriac husband.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket as his blue eyes glanced around the room. Something was missing, or rather someone.

"So where's your partner in crime? I figured you two would have had some girly ritual to plan out or something," he inquired cautiously.

Between his discussion with Riley the night of Christmas Eve and what he had witnessed the following day he was fairly certain he had just encroached on a rather tender subject of conversation.

His niece shook her head with a sweet smile and a distant gleam in her eye. "She's not coming over until later...or she might just meet us at the ceremony. I'm not really sure," she replied trying not to sound as disappointed as she felt. The truth was that she had envisioned that day much the same way her uncle had expected it to play out.

Her answer only confirmed his suspicions. He stood there at war with himself, questioning whether or not it would be wise to acknowledge what she was clearly attempting not to say. Josh had observed their friendship for many years and couldn't imagine any force strong enough to overtake it.

"Is everything okay with you two," he tiptoed further careful not to trigger any hidden verbal land mines.

Her false smile spread even thinner in reply. She had spent months covering her thoughts and feelings with insincere smiles and quiet nods until it had become second nature.

"Things are..." she paused searching for the right word, "changing..., but they're okay," she replied though she wasn't sure which of them she wanted to convince; him or herself.

His blue eyes studied her, waiting for the mask she was hiding behind to crack or slip, but her act never faltered. She had obviously had quite a bit of practice at maintaining it, he realized sadly.

"You don't sound like you believe that," he challenged calmly.

Her brown eyes ticked up to meet his gaze. As she read the concern in his, he saw the relief in hers. She might not feel able to say it or show it, but she was grateful that he hadn't accepted whatever answer she was willing to give.

She smiled again, this time it was genuine and a little downhearted. An arm crossed her body as she clung to its opposite.

"No, things are okay, it's just that everything is different now. You know it used to be just me and her. She didn't have anyone else, and I didn't want anyone else but now...it turns out Katie is a really great mom who is trying to be around more often and she and Uncle Shawn are dating now and together with Maya they're kind of their own little family so she doesn't need us as much anymore and I guess she thinks I don't need her as much since I have...someone else...I miss her...but I'm happy for her."

She didn't know why she had left so many details out of the story; about her, and Maya, and Lucas. It was behind them now, but those wounds were still fresh and had threatened to destroy everything between them. Talking about it now, even in past tense, felt like tempting fate.

Josh nodded sympathetically. Personally, he didn't think Riley had anything to worry about. Maya would always be a member of their family and having one of her own wouldn't change that. Especially if that family included Shawn Hunter, who was basically Josh's third big brother.

He placed a supportive hand on her shoulder before sharing what little wisdom he had to offer.

"You're a good friend Riley. She's not gonna forget that," he assured with a confident grin.

He didn't have to be best friends with Maya to know that she was a good person or that she loved his family. It was written in her every word and gesture. She was young and maybe a little mischievous but she had a good heart.

"Even if you and Howdy are a thing now," he added slyly.

Riley felt her cheeks burn as they turned a bright shade of pink. Unable to keep her body from responding, she did the next best thing, covering them with her hands in a girlish manner that confirmed her uncle's suspicions.

Josh couldn't help but chuckle at her embarrassment.

"How did you know," she asked lowering her hands. "I didn't say who the someone was."

The better question was how wouldn't he know.

"Come on Riles, I've seen the way he looks at you," he said with a nudge.

His niece didn't seem to understand his implication though.

"How does he look at me," she asked curiously, her head tilted to the side.

Josh just smiled at her innocence. How much longer would that last, he wondered. She wasn't a child anymore. She was a young woman and she would only grow older and more experienced from there.

"In a way that makes my brother very uncomfortable," was all he chose to say. She would come to understand in her own time what those looks meant.

She thanked him again for coming before finishing her pancakes and going upstairs to prepare for the day. It still felt strange doing all of this without Maya by her side, but change was part of growing up and growing up was inevitable. That didn't mean they had to grow apart. It just meant they had to make the right choices moving forward.

Lucas's green eyes fell to the clock on his dresser before turning to face his reflection in the full length mirror. He tugged at the collar of his baby blue button down uncomfortably. Had it been up to him some jeans and a nice t-shirt would have sufficed. After all, it wasn't as if anyone would see it underneath that big red robe, but his mother had gone out and purchased the shirt and matching khakis specifically for the occasion. It was a small request; really the least he could do after all he had put her through back in Texas.

He checked the clock again, wishing the numbers would shift faster. The sooner time moved, the sooner he would see Riley again. He was always eager to spend time with her, but more so than usual this day as he thought of her surprise and anticipated her reaction. As he looked back into the mirror he saw a familiar face standing behind him, beaming with pride.

"Well just look at you," LeAnne Friar crowed from the doorway as she moved forward to help adjust the collar he had been pulling at only moments before.

Standing at five foot five, her teenage son already towered over her thanks to his father's side of the family. He'd inherited her husband's chiseled jaw and athletic build as well but his sandy blonde hair and many of his facial features were attributed to her. As she stood there drinking in the sight of him she couldn't help but notice how he appeared more man than child, her expression shifting at the realization. Though the pride on her face remained there was now something more thoughtful glistening in her eyes.

"My baby boy sure is a handsome one," she declared with misty eyes.

It seemed like only yesterday he had been tottering about in their backyard with nothing but a diaper and a cowboy hat on.

Lucas knew that this was something all mothers probably said to their sons but he still had to fight the instinct to bristle at the compliment. Comments on his appearance were all too common in his life and made him very uncomfortable, but she was his mom and he knew she meant well so he did his best to return her smile and offer gratitude rather than responding in his usual defensiveness.

"Thanks mom."

Sensing his discomfort she quickly changed the subject.

"So have you got any big plans after the ceremony," she asked with her eyes focused on him in that knowing motherly way of hers. "Perhaps with a certain pretty brunette you're always talking about?"

Lucas felt himself flush at her implication. It was like he was wearing a bright, bold, neon sign that read "I love Riley Mathews" and literally everyone could see it. Everyone except her, that is.

He shoved a folded up change of clothes into his bag for after the ceremony.

"I don't really talk about her that much, do I," he asked skeptically.

His mother just smiled at the question. She had known that Riley Mathews would be a name of significance the first day that he had come home from school the previous year. Lucas had been hesitant to leave Texas and that resistance had reflected in his attitude upon arrival so when she had asked about his first day she hadn't expected much enthusiasm on the subject and at first he had lived up to that expectation. School had been fine. The subway had been fine. The classes seemed about the same, except for this one class where the sprinklers had been set off. Then she had asked had he made any friends and to her surprise he smiled to himself before meeting her gaze and saying "Maybe, I'd like to be her friend." They were simple words but in that moment she knew she would most likely be hearing that name again.

"Stop coddling the boy and let him finish getting ready," his father called out from the same doorway.

His disapproving glare was a stark contrast to his wife's soft gaze.

"I'm not coddling him," she defended but as usual the man in the doorway had no interest in hearing any other perspective but his own.

"No, you're just praising him for something he should have already done," he snapped back in reply.

LeAnne stared her husband down defiantly. She loved the man dearly and she knew there was another side to him, but it seemed years since he had shared that warmer disposition with their son. Somewhere along the way he had become the disapproving disciplinarian; convinced that was what Lucas needed from him. She knew their boy required more from him, but neither seemed capable of making him understand that.

"Is that really necessary," she asked pointedly.

She was fully prepared to go through the motions of their usual argument but Lucas stepped forward to silence them both.

"It's okay mom," he assured her with a half hearted smile. "He's right. I was supposed to graduate last year and it's my own fault that I didn't."

It pained him to agree with his father on the subject but it was true. He had made the choice to act without thinking and those choices had set him back. They had affected his entire family really. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone but he had, and two years later they were still paying for his mistakes.

LeAnne watched her son's eyes grow dark with regret and her heart broke at the sight. She understood why her husband was having trouble letting Lucas's mistakes go, but she also understood that Lucas needed no reminder of his previous failures. He was keenly aware of them without any prompting.

"That doesn't change the fact that you have worked hard and made much better choices this time around," she insisted.

The corners of his mouth lifted into a genuine smile. Sometimes he wondered how things might be different had he made better decisions. His father would probably be happier and his parents might be a little less at odds, but they wouldn't be in New York City. There would be no friendship circle or secret of life. There would be no Riley. As much as he wished for his parents that he had been a better son he couldn't deny that he was a better person for having come there. He was a happier person for having known her. Neither of which could he will himself to wish away.

Still, as he caught his father's glance he couldn't help but feel the familiar mixture of anger and shame.

"It also doesn't change the mistakes I've already made," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Really there was nothing else to say. No matter what he did from here on out or how different he may be, he would forever be the boy who had gotten suspended and forced his family to move away to achieve a clean slate. He would always be the stain on his family's good name and his father's otherwise pristine reputation.

The man in the doorway excused himself from the scene feeling quite validated in his argument. He understood why his wife was so quick to dismiss their boy's transgressions and sometimes he envied her position. But he was patriarch of their household. It was his job to show Lucas what it meant to be a man, which meant he couldn't go easy on him. His son needed to know that a man was the sum of his choices and that one must always be accountable for their mistakes. Lucas's acceptance of his criticism only served as confirmation that he was doing the right thing.

LeAnne fluffed her son's hair at his temples.

"Well," she said with a smile, "I'm very proud of you."

He did his best to return her cheeriness, but found himself struggling to do so. Sending his struggle she once again changed the subject.

"We better get going unless we want to be late. Have you got everything?"

He went through his mental checklist. In his bag were a change of clothes and sneakers. His cap and gown were right next to it in one of those plastic garment covers. The only thing missing was his gift for Riley. He reached out, taking the small box in hand with a large grin. The image of her smile was enough to inspire his own.

"I do now," he declared confidently as he placed the box in his bag and slung the strap over his shoulder.

Students had already begun to gather in the gymnasium by the time Lucas arrived. He surveyed the area searching for the person he wanted to see most, but she was nowhere to be found. Fortunately, his eyes landed on another favored person. Just a few feet away stood Zay with his own family. The fellow Texan cocked a grin as he met his friend's green gaze and excused himself from the Babineaux clan to join him.

Zay extended his hand, slapping it against Lucas's in greeting.

"Hey man, happy graduation," he exclaimed with his usual enthusiasm.

Lucas smiled as they completed their handshake ritual.

"Thanks, you too," he replied; his attention wavering once more to glance around the room.

Zay followed his lead, his brown eyes searching the room as well. His landed on the radiant Mrs. Friar who had located his own mother. The two women jabbered back and forth seemingly unaware of his presence until the lovely blonde laughed and waved in the boys' direction. Having been caught red handed, he returned the gesture.

"I see the Colonel is a no show," he mumbled just loud enough for the boy next to him to hear.

The blonde merely shrugged.

"I don't want to talk about that," was all he said.

Zay shook his head with a knowing grin.

"You never do," he responded dryly.

Lucas never really spoke of his father or their relationship. In fact, were it not for their history back in Texas, he might wonder if Lucas Friar even had a family.

The blonde shook off his friend's comment as per usual.

"Speaking of daddy issues, how's yours going? You make a decision yet," he inquired eager to change the subject.

This time it was Zay's turn to rebel against the topic of conversation. Truthfully, he didn't like discussing his issues any more than Lucas did, which was why he had developed his persona of class clown and accidental secret spiller. This allowed him to keep the focus on those around him and their troubles, rather than his own. It was a mask that he wore well, but the person standing next to him had seen it slip temporarily a time or two and this time was no exception. For just a fraction of a second between question and response his true feelings could be seen.

"Yep, I already told you man. They can do them and I'm gonna do me," he announced with far more confidence than he actually possessed.

Lucas nodded with a knowing smirk.

"And how's Serge taking that one," he countered.

Zay's father had a very specific image of what he wanted his sons to be and to Lucas's knowledge this would be the first time any of his boys had deviated from that plan.

His lips formed an upside down double u as he considered his response.

"So far, he's taking it pretty well," Zay insisted, making Lucas chuckle at his words.

His green eyes twinkled as he glanced at his friend sideways.

"He doesn't know yet, does he," the blonde asked with an amused smirk.

Zay chortled along side him with a cocky grin.

"No, he does not, but I figure he'll find out soon enough."

The two boys had meandered out into the hallway where they could talk alone and scope the main entrance for the arrival of their friends. Feeling claustrophobic and out of place in the halls they no longer occupied Lucas gestured to the doorway and Zay followed. Together they sat in the steps, elbows propped on their knees.

"You thinking about heading down to Texas this summer," Zay inquired, trying to hide his true agenda but he wasn't fooling anyone.

Lucas's lips curled into dimpled smile.

"Eager to get back to Vanessa, I see," he teased suggestively.

While Texas had only provided confusion and heartbreak for Lucas that year, it had offered Zay a second chance with the girl of his dreams. He didn't speak of their relationship, whatever it was, but Lucas had often caught him texting her throughout the day. He'd caught his friend off guard but it had only taken a moment for Zay to compose himself. His faced and contorted in mock offense, his hand flying to his heart dramatically for effect.

"That- that's insulting man," he sputtered in defense. "Texas is my homeland. I've got friends there. Family-" he ticked off his legitimate reasons for visitation on his fingers one by one.

"Your girlfriend," Lucas interjected casually.

Zay attempted to protest but his smile gave away his true emotions on the subject. Vanessa wasn't exactly his girlfriend. At least he didn't think she was. They hadn't actually had that conversation yet. But he couldn't deny there were feelings there.

The blonde pointed toward his besotted grin "why Zay I do believe you're smitten," he commented in glee.

After all the teasing he had received over Riley and then Maya and the situation they had found themselves in, Lucas was determined to enjoy this moment.

"You ain't got no room to talk sunshine boy," Zay retorted with a nudge of his shoulder.


	82. Chapter 82- Older But Still Young

**A/N: God, it feels good to be back! Thank you so much for your overwhelming response to my return! I'm so happy that you all are eager to continue each of these journeys with me. One more chapter and then we embark on a whole new installment filled with new lessons and challenges for our favorite teenagers, including the answers to some remaining questions from our first installment. Lots to look forward to! For those of you reading SSS, I am hoping to update later this week. Again, thank you all so much! Your feedback and support mean the world to me! :)**

One more day, Maya thought to herself as she stood outside the side entrance of John Quincy Addams. One more day until summer would begin and she could put some necessary distance between herself and the lie she had been living for the last three months. The last time she had entered that gymnasium with such a sense of finality had been the night of the Valentine's dance. Much like that night, she didn't know what might happen moving forward. All she could do was hope and pray, yes she had been so desperate for answers that she had actually gotten down on her knees and whispered to a God she still questioned the existence of, that whatever she was feeling would fade by the time Riley had given in to the charms of Huckleberry. Each day in their presence was felt acutely, like the seconds ticking down an explosion in one of those bond movies she enjoyed so much. Though, counting down to one's own self-destruction was much less amusing.

She'd had the opportunity to prevent this from happening; to speak up, to fight for what she wanted. Only she hadn't wanted him then, or at least she hadn't known it. Truthfully, she wasn't even sure that she wanted him now, or if she did, in what way. Again her mind reeled backwards, like a memory flipbook, to that night and the words of wisdom that had guided her decision. There was more than one way to like someone, to want them, to love them. That night she had been certain that Lucas Friar did not hold her heart in his hands, nor did she hold his. While both these statements were indisputable facts she had forgotten to consider that even if her heart wasn't involved, some other part of her was and that traitorous sliver of herself was slowly corroding her from the inside out.

The only thing she could imagine worse than her hatred for her own transgressions, was the fear of Riley's discovering them. Maya had broken some unspoken sacred vow in her confusion and tumult. Granted, she hadn't meant to. For a long time, she hadn't even realized she was doing it. But as Mathews had often told her she had a tendency to go too far and this time the boundary was fundamental and unforgivable. And yet, given the chance, she knew her best friend would forgive her. Where other girls would slap the girl they had once called sister or cut them out their lives, Riley would say something incredibly wise and understanding and then try to fix the situation for her somehow; not because she deserved it, but because that's who Riley was. Maya couldn't bear the thought of that.

The most crippling of all wasn't the weight of her own guilt, but the strain on her friendships; specifically, that of her and her self-proclaimed sister. They were graduating middle school today. It was a milestone she was certain the bright eyed brunette had imagined many times. Maya had never been one for looking forward. However, any time she had dared to do so, it was always her and Riley together. That's how it was always supposed to be; thunder and lightning, honey and peaches, sense and sensibility. They should have been together but they weren't. Instead they had prepared and arrived separately and now she was glancing around a half filled gymnasium searching for her best friend's face and coming up empty.

As hard as she had tried not to let her struggle touch them, it had. They were slowly beginning to drift in different directions and if she didn't find a way to alter course, who knew what high school might bring? Riley was getting further from her every day…and closer to Lucas. The thought brought her a strange comfort while still leaving an acidic taste in her mouth. Even if the unthinkable happened and she lost her better half, she knew that he would never allow any harm to befall the girl they both adored so much. She would be safe in his hands.

But where would Maya be?

No! She couldn't think like that. She wouldn't allow it to happen. Her blonde head tossed as she worked to free herself from the fear of self-fulfilling prophecy. Turning her attention to one of the other entrances, her cerulean orbs landed on another familiar face. There had been a time when the sight of him would have filled her with elation beyond description, but not now. Instead of the heady giddiness that had once inhabited her, it was a strange balance of dread and shame; not because his company was unpleasant or because he no longer affected her, but rather because she was no longer so sure what those feelings meant.

Any time someone had referred to her feelings for Josh as a crush she had been quick to defend them. She had insisted that despite her age she knew what she felt. That was until she had actually begun the process of growing up. Her attraction to him wasn't the confusing part. It was as present and constant as it had ever been. The confusing part was how her feelings toward one person could be so murky and ever-changing, while her feelings for the other could be so…steady and concrete. Shouldn't one have affected the other somehow?

But no, as he offered her a boyish grin, her pulse began to quicken as it always had as she fought to keep control of her limbs.

"What are you doing here," she asked incredulously.

His brows furrowed and his eyes darkened. He almost appeared wounded, unless she had imagined it.

"Why does everybody keep asking me that," his shoulders raised up to meet his jawline while his hands remained buried in his leather jacket.

Her expression shifted from one of surprise to that of obvious amusement.

"I don't know," she began lifting her own shoulders slightly in a similar shrugging motion, her tone teasing.

"Maybe because you've been MIA since Christmas?"

He chuckled at her response, running a hand through his dark hair which he'd had cut sometime since she had last seen him.

"Fair enough," he nodded wearing that lazy smirk she found so adorable. "though I hear I'm not the only one," he added thoughtfully.

There was a secret question hidden in his subtle comment and she knew exactly what he was asking. For a brief moment she considered telling him the truth, but then she thought better of it. Josh was a terrific guy; one who genuinely cared about people and wanted to help them. While he had never returned her romantic interest in him, he did seem to care about her in some way. But he was also Riley's uncle and if put in the position to choose, she had no doubt he would protect his niece before he would honor Maya's confidence.

He wondered if she realized she was nibbling on the corner of her lip as she deliberated her answer. After a minute or two she seemed to reach her conclusion.

"Things are just…different…now," she replied flatly.

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole story either. He wished that she would trust him, but he couldn't blame her if she didn't. Though they had known one another most of their lives and had some form of connection, they hadn't ever had much of a relationship. Still, he hated to see either her or his niece hurting this way. Especially since neither of them seemed to know how to go about repairing the damage.

"Yeah, she mentioned that too…" he knew that they were growing up and they would have to learn how to navigate through those trials on their own, but surely a little nudge couldn't hurt, right?

"She misses you, ya know."

He didn't know if Riley had said it yet, but he wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't. For some reason she thought of her feelings as burdens to those around her. It was possible she was doing as she done that morning, the same as Maya was doing now; pretending that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

"I miss her too," she confessed quietly, hanging her head.

She had thought it a million times throughout the year, but not once had she dared say it out loud.

"You don't have to," he reminded gently. "She's around here somewhere."

Again there was more between the lines, at least she thought there was. He was offering her a lifeline; a chance to make things right.

She smiled; this time warm and genuine.

"I think I'm gonna go find her," she said, pointing toward the door to the hallway.

They nodded to one another before she began to walk away. Josh watched her get further away; a thought prickling the back of his mind. She really was growing up gorgeous, just as he had said. He had no doubt the girl would soon be breaking hearts left and right. She seemed different though, not just in her appearance, but in the way she carried herself.

'Things are different," she had said…

"Hey Maya," he called out suddenly.

Her blonde hair flew from one side to the other as she twisted to look back at him. He almost forgot what he had wanted to say.

"Congratulations…on graduation…and everything else."

She beamed back at him before disappearing into the hallway; her fears both settled and stirred. That was always the way with her. She had become a walking, talking contradiction, every part of her at war with the other. Seeing Josh had been unexpected and surprisingly pleasant. Unfortunately, it had done nothing for her in terms of clarity. If anything, their conversation had only left her more confounded than before. Why did it feel so much easier with him than it had when she was sure of what she was feeling? How was it possible that they could connect so effortlessly now that she was no longer trying? And why was it so much harder with Lucas, if she liked him too?

Zay and Lucas continued to tease one another about their respective relationships as fellow graduates and their families poured through the open doors. Every so often the latter would shift from side to side, distracting the other from their conversation. The trouble was that no matter how he twisted and turned the corners of the small box in his pocket continued to dig into his thigh. Sensing his friend's discomfort, Zay swatted at him playfully with a raised brow.

"What's the matter with you man," he asked curiously. "You got ants in your pants or something?"

The blonde made one last effort to alleviate the pain in his leg before accepting defeat. He would have preferred to keep this between himself and Riley. So much of their story had played out in front of their friends and classmates. He liked the idea of sharing something just between the two of them. Unfortunately, the box with all its sharp edges wasn't leaving him much of a choice in the matter. As he reached into his khakis and removed the object causing him such pain Zay's brown orbs focused on the item in his hand. He glanced back up toward his friend with an embarrassed smirk.

"Or something," he replied simply, but his voice sounded foreign, even to himself.

Zay's mouth fell agape, but it only took him a moment to recover; falling into his default setting of comedian as he gasped dramatically and clasped his hands over his heart.

"Oh Luke!" He exclaimed excitedly before his expression morphed into one of a guilty nature. "But I didn't get you anything," he added shamefully.

Lucas couldn't help but chuckle at the outburst, making Zay grin with pride. It made him feel good to know that he could lighten the burdens of his friends with a few silly words and exaggerated gestures. That was his role within the group and he was happy to play it.

"It's not for you, it's for Riley," he said stating the obvious.

The bounce had returned to the fellow Texan's step ever since the night of the Valentine's dance, but even more so over the last few days. The guy radiated with twitterpation. He didn't know what had happened or when- that was a Lucas story he had yet to hear, but there was no denying the boy was happier than he had ever seen him before. And he must have been feeling pretty confident about where they stood with one another to go out and buy the girl something sparkly that screamed commitment. Granted, he was young and only knew love through movies and observation of the world around him. But in every movie he had ever seen jewelry equaled love.

He wasn't quite sure they were old enough to feel that yet. After all they were barely teenagers; practically still children. Though he had to admit there was something between those two. Lucas was the kind of guy who would do anything to make anyone happy. So was Riley. So them giving each other up for the sake of making the other happy, well, that was just them being them as far as he could see. But the way Lucas couldn't let her go even when he thought she wanted him to? That was a side of his friend he had never seen before. And he was old enough to know that meant something.

Riley was harder to make heads or tails of. He hadn't known her as long or as well, and at first he had genuinely believed the lies she had told that year. It wasn't until Farkle had put it together and started leaving breadcrumbs that he and Lucas had been able to piece it together. Looking back, it was easy to see that she had been unhappy during that time. Her eyes had been dark, her smile too thin, and she was always calm. Eerily calm. Nothing like the girl he had seen that first day he had entered their classroom. The triangle had drained all the life out of both of them, but even feeling this Riley never fought for Luke the way he had for her. She would have lived that lie forever had the genius remained quiet. Zay wasn't sure if that spoke to the strength of her feelings for Maya, or a lack of them for his childhood friend, but she had clearly said or done something to give him hope so Zay would hope alongside him.

"That's not a ring is it," he inquired half joking. Surely Lucas wasn't ready to promise the girl the rest of his life already.

"You should probably take her on a date that lasts more than ten minutes before you start pledging your troth man."

Crinkles formed in the corners of his eyes as one side of his face lifted skeptically.

"Where do you come up with this stuff," he asked shaking his head. "It's not a ring. It's just a little something to celebrate...moving forward," he explained lifting the lid so his friend could see the gift he had carefully chosen.

Zay's mouth formed an upside down u as he examined the box's contents, but he nodded his approval.

Lucas studied his expression. He had spent countless hours searching for just the right present; something that would reflect his joy regarding their current agreement as well as his hope for the future. It had taken some effort but once he had seen it, much like the girl it was for, he had known it was something special, and couldn't resist the purchase.

"You think she'll like it," he asked seeking reassurance.

Zay's gaze had since fixed themselves on the figure walking toward them. He leaned in nudging the blonde with a whisper as she approached.

"I think you're about to find out."

He glanced up with a smile as his hand simultaneously snapped the lid shut, wrapping his fist tightly around the package.

Riley seemed to float on air as she moved toward them; the pale yellow of her dress bringing out the sparkle in her eyes. As they settled on Zay and Lucas her smile began to grow. She radiated warmth and light. Lucas couldn't help but think back to another evening on those same steps; only that night the dress had been red and her hair had been pulled up into some fancy braided bun. On this day she wore it down in loose barrel waves and as she neared he could smell the cranberry scent that always clung to her.

"Hi," she greeted both boys with a small wave of her hand, her soft gaze falling on Zay first before fixing on the blonde next to him.

His green eyes shimmered in the sunlight, or perhaps it was the Riley effect.

"Hey," he responded, folding his arms to bury the box between them and his chest.

She let out a small giggly sound before repeating her second "hi."

Zay just sat there watching his best friend moon over the brunette before him, and she returning his starry gaze. He slapped his hands against his knees as he lifted himself from the stoop.

"That's my cue to go," he said offering her a quick one armed hug. "I'll see you two in there," he added before tossing Lucas a poorly disguised wink and heading back inside to find the others.

Her gaze followed their friend as he disappeared into the crowds of people flowing through the halls; a small twinge of guilt nipping at her.

"He didn't have to go," she mumbled as Lucas rose from his seat on the steps.

For a fraction of a second he studied her with concern, afraid that perhaps he had once again miscalculated the nature of their relationship. She seemed upset that Zay had gone back inside to give them a moment alone together. If she couldn't even stand next to him without being uncomfortable how would she react to the gift in his hand? Would she be excited and grateful as he had imagined or was it possible she would recoil at the intimacy it implied?

"I think he just wanted to go look for the others," he reasoned, pushing down his own insecurities as she turned to face him; her expression troubled.

"Or maybe he feels uncomfortable being around us now that we're," she paused searching for the right words but as usual they wouldn't come willingly. A strange combination of sigh and laughter escaped her lips as her head tilted slightly toward his.

"I mean, I know what we are…I'm just not sure there's a name for it," she explained with a smile.

The corners of his mouth twitched upward, relief flooding his system. It wasn't that she felt awkward alone with him, but rather that she was worried it might be for the others. In the beginning it had been perfectly natural for them to be friends while still displaying their interest in one another. However, that was no longer the case. The events of Texas had made that impossible. Months had been spent trying to hide and ignore those feelings from one another and those surrounding them. Thankfully, that was no longer the case, but there was a certain heaviness to the subject that hadn't been there before; a responsibility to tread lightly and be certain.

"We could come up with one," he suggested as he wrapped his free hand around hers.

Her smile grew as she began to twirl from side to side. She hated the idea of alienating her friends, but if she was being completely honest with herself, she was happy to have this time alone with Lucas. Yes, it was their graduation day, and she wanted to celebrate it with all of her friends, but she also wanted this one small moment with just him, to celebrate the other part of what they were. She slid her other hand down the length of his arm, wondering if he could feel the little current of energy flowing between them as she was, until she reached his hand. Her coffee colored orbs lit with surprise when her fingers traced the small box hidden there.

"Lucas, what's this," she asked curiously raising their hands up to eye level.

This was nothing like the moment he had planned. In his head the steps had been bare, the sky brightly multicolored. They would stand in the place where they had revealed their true feelings to one another, lost in a world all their own. He would finally say the words he'd spent days practicing and committing to memory and then he would take her face in his hands as he had done that night. This time there would be no lies or anger between them, and no reason to hold back. Instead the school was bustling with graduates and families, it was midday, and the speech he had so carefully crafted had fled his brain the second he'd laid eyes on her.

Not that she would mind. She would be happy with anything he was able to offer, but he wanted to give her more. She deserved more. As unpleasant as the triangle had been he had taken a few notes from the experience. Riley was a romantic. She had wanted the big ask to the dance. She had marveled at Charlie's efforts with the flowers and the lights and Yogi on roller skates. She had expected those actions from him and when he had failed to recognize this he had sown the seeds of doubt where his intentions were concerned. It wasn't about the stuff. Riley wasn't materialistic. It was about the effort. She only wanted to know that her feelings were returned.

He stood helpless before her, groping for the eloquence that had magically appeared on their first date.

"It's uh...a gift... for you...from me," he stuttered and stumbled with great effort.

That was far from the declaration he had prepared, but it had been enough to inspire a blush of color on her cheeks. Emboldened by her response, he leads her a few steps to the side of the entrance where they might have at least the illusion of privacy. Still unable to find the right words, he silently pressed the box into her delicate hands. If he had chosen correctly his gift would communicate everything he wanted to but couldn't seem to say.

Riley stared down at the tiny parcel in her hands with wonder. She had neither asked for, nor expected, such an offering and yet there it was- whatever it was. The small beige colored box was decorated with a purple ribbon that was edged in silver. Too beautiful to unravel, she thought, but then how would she ever know what lay inside? She could feel his anxious gaze on her, his anticipation of a reaction. Not wanting to disappoint him she found a loose end of the ribbon and gently tugged, the loops of the bow shrinking as she did so. Once it had disappeared completely she carefully worked through the knot only to realize the task hadn't required the effort and care, as the lid could have been just as easily lifted with the bow in place. Lucas would never judge her for such a mistake but she still felt silly for not noticing sooner.

She glanced up to see him on baited breath before raising the lid. Inside was a handcrafted silver bracelet with a large circular pendent in the center. The stone or glass, she wasn't sure which, was an icy blue with flecks of white that reminded her of the Starry Night painting by Van Gogh or the pictures taken of the universe from satellites. Her lips parted slightly as she lifted the object from the box and marveled at its beauty. Seeing those stars in her eyes was all the approval he needed as he took the bracelet in his hands and released the clasp so that she might slip her wrist through the opening.

"It's a Pluto bracelet," he explained, running his tongue along his lips which now felt dry in the summer air. "They had different planets, different colors, but...Pluto isn't just a planet, it's a symbol for the way you see the world, the way you see people."

He fastened the bracelet with the whisper of a smile, his fingertips brushing against the sensitive skin.

"You said that you believed in me and those four words made me feel like I could do anything-"

"You can," she assured sweetly and again he felt the surge of surety.

She had already fallen in love with his gift, but learning that he had selected a representation of the little planet she had held so dearly in her heart only made her cherish it all the more. Though she knew it wasn't possible, she felt as though he had given her a tiny piece of the planet itself; a physical shred of faith to cling to in the face of all this uncertainty.

"I know that you have a hard time believing how amazing you are, and that you're afraid one day I won't think so anymore... but I believe in you like you believe in me. And this," his thumb traced the pendent as he spoke, "is just a reminder that, no matter what happens or what we become, I'm always on your side."

She glanced down again at the bracelet on her arm, hoping to hide the tears that had begun to pool in her eyes, but she couldn't keep them back. Everything felt so final and yet unstable all at once. They were standing on the edge of something, all of them...her relationship with Lucas, her friendship with Maya; all teetering on the brink of some unforeseeable cliff. They could swear they would never change, but those promises had already been made and proven false. Change was inevitable. Whoever they became, they would never be who they were at this precise moment in time again.

As she lifted her head they trickled silently down her cheeks. His heart broke to see her cry and he feared that he had somehow made a mistake. He wanted to make her happy, to assure her she would always have him to turn to. She seemed to sense his concern as she offered him a luminescent smile.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, brushing back her tears. "I don't even know why I'm crying," she confessed with a laugh.

It was silly that such a little thing could push her over the precipice she had been balancing on all morning.

Lucas had originally planned to kiss her after giving her his gift. He still wanted to. He often wanted to, but it no longer seemed the right time or place. A kiss wasn't what she needed from him. She didn't need her unofficial boyfriend to dry her tears. She needed her friend to console her and let her know she wasn't alone and so he wrapped his arms around her; offering her a safe place to mourn the past and hope for what was to come. It was an offer she gladly accepted, burying her face in his shoulder, breathing in the woodsy scent of him. She had often wondered how it was that in a concrete city he managed to retain the essence of earth and sunlight. Was it the result of product use or had it simply seeped into his veins from his years in the country? However, he had come by it, she was glad. Any other scent just wouldn't feel like him.

The parking lots were unusually full and the school brimming with activity, but the two didn't notice or care. They stood there, in the haven they had created, trying to find their bearings. Her eyes, though a little puffy, had dried and would soon return to their natural appearance. The tear stain on the shoulder of his button down had already begun to disappear as well. As she raised her head to meet his eyes, behind him she caught the crystal blue gaze of her best friend. Suddenly what had felt so right felt incredibly wrong. She shouldn't be there clinging to Lucas, but over there arm in arm with the blonde. They were supposed to face these things together.

He caught the shift in her eyes, the change in her demeanor, and he knew what it meant. His neck twisted as he turned to see Maya exiting the gym; now immobile in the halls with an unreadable expression on her face. He nodded with a smile before facing the brunette in his arms. She didn't need his permission but he knew she would feel obligated to stay otherwise.

"You should go to her," he consented, just as he had the night of their date on the subway, and just like that night she was reluctant to accept.

"Really," she asked, feeling guilty for wanting to go, but Lucas insisted.

He had come to understand that Maya was a part of Riley and that he couldn't claim to love one without also loving and accepting the other.

She didn't thank him for his understanding. She didn't have to. Her gratitude was inscribed all over her pretty features; his reward for doing what he believed the right thing. He and Riley would have other moments. The most important thing was that they step into the next phase of their lives together- all five of them. And if Riley and Maya couldn't survive the obstacle course known as high school, then what hope did any of the rest of them have?

Maya watched the exchange between the couple, because at this point there was no denying the trajectory of their relationship or the certitude of it, with weary eyes. It was tiresome to keep a constant grip on one's every word and facial expression; to make sure that nothing bled through the mask of peaceful calm. It was even more exhausting to reel back in those thoughts and feelings once they had run free. The entire process took every fiber of control she possessed and being one of impulsive nature, she hadn't had much to spare. Carefully she schooled her features into shining eyes and a thin lipped smile as the brunette approached.

"Peaches," the greeting was strained but heartfelt.

"Honey," she replied in a pitiful baby voice as she out stretched her arms for a hug; never needing it more.

Just two short years ago they had boarded the subway for the first time together to embark on the adventure of middle school. Now that venture was over and unlike her younger self who had entered so boldly, the blonde was walking away with far less confidence. Time seemed to have robbed them of their spark...well time and feelings. She clung to her sister, her best friend; afraid to let go. She wished that the world would stop turning so quickly, that it might slow down and give her the chance to breathe. But that wasn't how the world worked. High school would come. Mr. Minkus would be put on trial. Riley and Lucas would become official. And she would hold on as tightly as she could to those she loved most.

"Riles," she whispered into the chestnut locks of hair against her face, "I'm scared."

She couldn't see the way the brunette's eyes had grown in size and roundness at her confession. She couldn't read the surprise and panic written there. This was Maya; spunky and fearless, the Amazon warrior. She didn't get scared and when she did she refused to show it. What could be so terrifying that the bravest person she had ever known was reduced to quivering in her embrace?

"It's gonna be okay," she assured as she ran her hands down the blonde's back the same way her mother sometimes did for her.

"We're gonna make it okay," she promised, remembering the advice that she had been given and the vows she had made to herself that day.

"I need your help with something...but we may have to break a few rules," the brunette revealed quietly.

She doubted anyone was listening to their conversation or that theirs could be singled out from the many surrounding them, but she still preferred to err on the side of caution.

Maya's blue eyes glimmered with mischief.

"I don't even know what we're doing and I'm excited," she squealed, lacing her arm around the back of Riley's neck and steering her toward the door.


	83. Chapter 83-This Feeling We Won't Give Up

**A/N:**

 **Wow! I can't believe that this is the final chapter of The Forgiveness Project. It was just over a year ago that we began this journey together and I just want to thank you all for the love and support that you have shown me and this story.**

 **For those of you who have been asking is this a Rucas or Lucaya story, I can finally tell you now that the first half is neither because the triangle was never actually about the romantic pairings. As for who is endgame (I tried really hard to make that clear throughout this story)**

 **I hope that you will follow me into the sequel Cracks in the Foundation for the remainder of their story. (Which should be debuting by the end of this week/beginning of next) Everything I have done, I have done for a reason. Every throwaway word or plot point you worry I've forgotten, I haven't. It will all come full circle in the end. I promise.**

 **I promised from the beginning no buildup without payoff so you can bet I'm working my way up to some very gratifying scenes in the second half ;)**

 **Thank you again so much every one of you who has taken the time to read, review, follow, fave, or recommend my work! This was my first story and you all gave me the greeting of a lifetime! You made me feel safe and at home here and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

 ****Just realized I was so excited about completing this story that I forgot to place trigger warnings on this chapter. I've never written anything that required one before and I'm not sure this falls under that category but I would much rather be safe that sorry. I realize that for some (like me) the references made are not merely story content or a plot twist, but traumatic memories and so I apologize for anyone negatively affected. There are symptoms consistent with a heart attack as well as an upsetting phone call implying hospitalization.****

Riley tore through the corridors of her apartment building, eager to reach her bedroom. While she had felt incredibly guilty about leaving her friends behind after graduation, there was only a limited window of opportunity to complete the task at hand. The same couldn't be said of spending time with her friends. They had all summer, all year, and hopefully, if they made the right choices, the rest of their lives. Which only made her mission that much more important. If they were all going to stay together, then it was imperative to include Smackle and Zay in their traditions; even the ones made before they became part of the group.

Quickly she slid her key into the lock and let herself in. She had left the rest of her family and friends back at the school to continue to the bakery celebration without her. Her parents hadn't known where she was going, but had shrugged off her vague explanation easily enough. After all, she was a good kid who hardly ever got into any real kind of trouble. She had earned their trust.

Shawn and Katie on the other hand had required a little more convincing. They both knew that Maya had a mischievous streak and were concerned when she had asked to abandon them temporarily. It wasn't until Riley had come up behind, explaining that it was her idea to leave, and that they would return after running a small errand, that they were willing to grant her release. They knew trusted Riley to keep Maya out of trouble.

A fractional twinge of guilt attacked her as she slammed the bedroom door behind her. Everyone trusted her to do the right thing, to keep Maya on the straight and narrow, and here Riley was enlisting her to help do something they weren't technically supposed to be doing. Not only did it go against the rules they had agreed upon, but it bordered on the line of breaking and entering. Not that she could imagine it going that far. They would be in and back out in ten minutes or less and no one would even know they were ever there.

Hopefully.

She reached for a pair of jeans and shimmied them up her legs. Once they were securely fastened she tugged her dress up over her head and slipped on a dark red t-shirt with an open neck and capped sleeves. Last but not least, she placed her flats back on her feet and rushed over to her nightstand where she had hidden the items. She smiled at each one as she deposited them in her miniature handbag that most girls used as a purse. The brunette had never been big on accessories but in this case it wasn't merely for show. It served a purpose.

Maya had climbed the fire escape of Riley's apartment building more times than she could possibly count, but this time felt different. She scaled up the side of the building, inwardly humming the Bond girl theme song. Each step was agile and catlike, mimicking the femme fatales of the silver screen. Her figure was not quite as full, nor her movements so seductive and more than once the spike of her fake leather boots had caught in the grating of the stairs, marring her otherwise graceful ascent.

Still, she was excited for whatever the evening might bring. She had no idea what her mission would be but she knew that it involved secrecy and subterfuge, both of which intrigued the blonde. Especially considering who had been the one to enlist her. Riley, the girl who couldn't sneak out of her own house without being pushed out the window, who only told a lie to spare someone's feelings, who never had a devious thought in her head or a ill-behaved bone in her body, had requested her assistance in the art of rule breaking. It seemed all her years of bad influence had finally had an effect. She had always loved and accepted the brunette for exactly who and what she was, but if she was honest a partner in crime was a lot more fun than an angel on her shoulder.

Not that she had been much of a partner lately. Ever since the dance she could hardly stand to be in the same room with her best friend, whether Lucas was present or not. It hurt to feel the distance between them, to sense the wall that her sister didn't even know was there. Was this how Riley had felt around her after Texas? She strained to relive those memories, attempting to decipher all the signs she had somehow missed before. As much as she wished she could say that she had felt the other girl's pain, she couldn't. She had been so wrapped up in her own feelings about the situation that she hadn't realized how much her best friend was suffering.

Which was exactly why she couldn't resent Riley for not seeing it now. Nor could she begrudge her for being happy with Lucas. At first she had. The night of the dance, as she had stood there listening to him plead with Riley, she had felt the sting of betrayal. In that moment she had judged her sister and friend harshly without reason.

It was she who had disrespected their friendship, not Riley. It wasn't her best friend's fault that she had developed feelings for yet another unavailable person, or that Lucas wanted Riley and only Riley. The brunette hadn't fought for him that night or any other. She hadn't even willingly attended the dance. Farkle had forced with the power of their friendship and the rules they had previously established regarding their rings. The only one responsible for the ache of rejection and permanent state of confusion was herself…her and her own stupid feelings that she still didn't understand.

The blonde shoved those unpleasant thoughts back into their cage in the back of her mind as she crawled through the frame of the open bay window. Whatever her feelings were, they weren't nearly as important as the sisterhood she shared with her best friend.

Riley turned from her position at the nightstand, her brown eyes growing round at the sight of the blonde in her sleek, black ensemble with a matching beanie that suspiciously resembled the one Josh had lost on one of his visits into the city a few years back.

"Is that a cat suit," she asked incredulously.

Maya shrugged with a smirk, clearly impressed with her own ingenuity. It was only a tight fitted black vest over a matching quarter sleeve blouse combined with some faux leather leggings and boots, but given the short notice and limited resources she was rather proud of herself.

"Well, it was either this or a strategically cut evening gown," she quipped.

The brunette's mouth curled to hold in the giggle tickling her lips.

"In that case, I think you made the right decision," she chirped, slinging the straps of her bag over her shoulder. "You look pretty."

Maya's hand instinctively perched on her hip as she spoke.

"I don't look pretty, I look…dangerous," she finished with an impish grin.

Riley simply shook her head. Given the choice between pretty and dangerous she would much rather be told she was pretty, but then she and Maya had always been different in that way.

"Fine, you're dangerous and pretty. You'll turn every head on the subway car."

Surely she wouldn't be able to find fault with her compliment now that it had been revised to include her preference.

Maya now had her first hint about the evening ahead, though the subway wasn't much of a hint. They were two teenage girls in a city where public transportation was the most common way to travel even for those with the skill and legal ability to drive.

"Honestly, I kinda forgot about that part," she admitted reluctantly before changing the subject.

"So…where will this subway car be taking us?"

Riley shrugged as she went through her mental checklist one last time. Try as she might, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had forgotten something, but upon inspection both items were securely placed in her bag as was her wallet which held her metro card.

"You'll know it when we get there," she mumbled absentmindedly.

Maya huffed in frustration.

That wasn't much of a clue either.

"The only thing worse than getting old is people treating you like you're old," grumbled Alan as he took his youngest son's hand and lifted himself from the chair he had been sitting in for the last two hours.

It was what he had always feared; a future where his family no longer saw him as the breadwinner and provider but as someone who required round the clock supervision and assistance. Josh had been hovering over him from the moment he had crawled out of the family car. Amy had been resistant to even allow his attendance. He was now a man who was allowed his daily activities. Together his wife and son decided when and where he could go, what he would eat. It was maddening. He was a grown man and perfectly capable of standing up by himself.

Yet as he looked into his youngest child's cocoa colored eyes he couldn't find fault with him for being afraid. His last doctor's appointment hadn't been the ringing endorsement for old age that Alan had expected. His body had been more of a home than a temple, well lived in, but appreciated. He had indulged in the occasional medium rare steak and bottle of beer over the years, but he didn't smoke. He was decently active for a man of his age and had cut down on as much stress as any red-blooded American man possibly could without disappearing into the woods somewhere. But it hadn't been enough to keep his body from gradually wearing down.

"Alan, honey, he's only trying to help," his wife cooed from the other side, her arms outstretched as though she were preparing to catch him should he fall.

"I know," the elderly man snapped, swatting their hands away, causing quite a scene.

He knew that they were trying to help, but he didn't want or need it, he thought as he took a deep steadying breath. To calm his nerves, he assured himself. Not because he had overexerted himself during his outburst.

As he glanced at the faces of his surrounding family members his heart sank. Each wore pained expressions of shock and concern, all but Amy and Josh who had grown used to his flares of temper. It was their masks of pity and fear that wounded him most. He knew they hated making him feel helpless, just as much as he resented the feeling itself. A gentle smile was offered in way of apology.

"So where'd our little graduate disappear to," he asked his second son Cory, who was busy shaking hands with parents and congratulating his former students.

"She and Maya are gonna meet us there. They had some kind of errand to run," he explained as Farkle approached with two Texans in tow.

The only child of his own childhood classmate had been an unofficial member of his family for nearly half his daughter's life span. He was the first boy to ever climb through Riley's window and despite his casual nature toward that fact at present, he hadn't always been so accepting. His father in law had made the mistake of never seeing him for the threat that he was. Cory had been determined not to make the same mistake and had he seen a similar budding of romance between the children he would have done all in his power to prevent or at least prolong nature from taking its course. Fortunately, he had been granted a reprieve in Farkle's case as nothing more than a deep friendship had grown.

For six glorious years he had been spared the struggle of viewing his little girl as more than a child. During that time, she was not a future woman, wife, or mother. She was just Daddy's little girl, and he had clung to that illusion until the first day of her seventh grade school year. He had known that Lucas Friar would be joining his class, but never had he imagined how this one boy's arrival would change his life. His heart had clenched as her brown eyes lit up at the sight of the tall, blonde, and unfairly attractive new student entered his classroom for the first time. As she turned to her best friend to exclaim "subway boy," Cory realized he was already at a disadvantage.

He smiled at the boys as they each shook his hand. The fact that he was no longer their teacher and they were still seeking his approval made him swell with pride, as he imagined Feeny had whenever they would still come to him in their older years.

"Congratulations boys," he cheered, his brown eyes settling on the boy who had summoned the countdown on his little girl's innocence.

He still didn't know exactly what role Lucas would play in his daughter's life moving forward, but he knew, had always known, that Lucas Friar would be a very important person in her story.

"Thank you, sir," he replied with a dimpled smile, that even he a grown man had to admit was endearing and dreamy.

"You coming with us to high school Mr. Mathews," Zay teased.

Truthfully, Cory had considered asking his former teacher Mr. Turner about a position at Abigail Addams. It was hard to let go, especially of this particular bunch. They had been through such a difficult year and while their test scores indicated they were ready to move up, he couldn't help but worry that they were leaving too soon.

"Afraid not Mr. Babineaux," he slapped a hand down on the boy's shoulder. "It'll be up to you guys to take care of each other now."

"We will," Farkle assured before diving for an uncharacteristic hug of gratitude.

Topanga came up behind her husband to corral him and the other students toward the bakery for the after party.

"You boys are still coming to the bakery, right? Riley and Maya won't feel right celebrating without you."

Lucas and Farkle opened their mouths to speak but Zay beat them to a response.

"You know we will. It ain't a party unless I'm there," he declared with a cocky grin.

Mrs. Mathews just chuckled and told the boys she would see them there. Despite his boisterous behavior she knew Zay was a good kid and more importantly a good friend to her girls.

The entire graduating class had been invited to the bakery for post event activities. While some had opted to respectfully decline and celebrate on their own, many of the now former students had been happy to accept the invitation. Each child in her packed place of business was one that had filled her husband's classroom for the previous two years; people who had impacted her family's life during that time. Next to parents, friends had the largest influence on a teenager's character. The people surrounding her would aid in shaping who her little girl would grow up to be, she realized with a smile.

That was, after all, the secret of life.

She knew that Cory was struggling to let the children go, as was she, but as she glanced around the room once more a surge of confidence swept over her; a certainty that her child would be okay. Riley was growing up and unfortunately that meant she was also growing away from the parents who loved her so dearly. She had to in order to learn self-sufficiency. It was never easy to consider the thought that someday soon her daughter would no longer need her, but at least she had the consolation of knowing that she was surrounded in love and support. There would always be someone for her to reach out to, should the need arise.

"So where do you think the girls wandered off to," Lucas asked curiously through forkfuls of cake.

Zay, who had just collected a rather large slice for himself, plopped down next to his friend with an amused grin.

"What's the matter Luke? You nervous she's gonna forget her way back or something?"

Farkle chuckled as Zay nudged the blonde's shoulder.

"Maybe you shoulda got her a compass instead of that pretty bracelet, huh," he jested, earning him a glare that briefly reminded him of Texas Lucas rearing his ugly head.

"What's this about a bracelet," Smackle probed innocently, having just arrived and lacking all context.

Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose, counting to ten to keep from delivering a swift jab to his best friend's loose jaw. Hadn't he specifically asked Zay not to say anything? His brow furrowed as he thought back on their conversation earlier that day. Maybe he hadn't asked for discretion, not that it would have mattered if he had. The moment he had shared his secret with the fellow Texan it was only a matter of time before the entire class had been alerted to the existence of his very private gift to his unofficial girlfriend.

"I'm assuming Lucas gave one to Riley as a graduation present based on Zay's most recent slip of the tongue," Farkle explained as she took a seat next to him.

There had been a time when Isadora Smackle couldn't even be in the same room with Farkle Minkus without making a fool out of herself in one way or another. However, she now felt comfortable enough among Farkle and their friends, for that was truly how she had come to think of them, to take part in their many conversations and bonding rituals.

"Ah, the mating dance has begun," she remarked with a raised brow.

Cory had been alternately conversing with his family and assisting in the chaperoning process when her words reached his ears. He shoved his paper plate filled with cake into the hands of his older brother Eric, who eagerly helped himself to its contents, making his way toward the group of teenagers gathered in the center of the room. His wife quickly excused herself from her conversation with Katie and Jen to do damage control but her husband reached the kids before she could reach him.

His beady glower fixed on the human Ken doll sitting in front of him.

"Alright, listen here Chachi, there will be no mating of any kind, no dancing, in fact you'll be lucky if I ever let you hold her hand, you got that! I don't know what you did but undo it! NOW," he demanded, each word raised in decibel until he was shouting over the entire crowd.

Feeling guilty for invoking the uproar Smackle quickly rose to amend her mistake.

"I apologize for the misunderstanding Mr. Mathews. I wasn't suggesting that there would be any physical mating in the near future. There are several more traditions in need of fulfillment before any form of intercourse would be required, though some are less inclined to wait until those societal expectations are met, but Riley doesn't strike me as one of those young women," she stated with a smile, proud of herself for rectifying the situation.

Farkle stood placing both hands on her arms and gently guiding her back down.

"I think we should let Lucas take it from here," he suggested, to which she rapidly interjected, "but I'm helping."

By the time Topanga made her way over to her husband he looked even more traumatized than he had when he had heard the words mating dance.

"Cory, sweetie, don't you think that you're blowing this just a little out of proportion. It's only a bracelet," she soothed.

His head twisted violently toward the woman clinging to his arm, doing her best to contain him and his fatherly concern. Where was her concern? Didn't she understand the implications behind the item given?

"You knew about this," he gasped.

Now was neither the time or place to be having this particular conversation. Yes, she had known about the bracelet for weeks. Lucas had come to her right before their final assignment and asked for her permission and input, both of which she had readily offered. With great effort she was able to drag him away from the children and into the back room so that they could discuss the matter with the privacy both Riley and Lucas deserved.

"Is it bad I'm grateful that's not us yet," Shawn whispered into his girlfriend's ear.

Her blue eyes peered upward, searching his expression.

"What do you mean?"

He paused, suddenly fearing that he had said something wrong. The truth was that for the first time in his life he didn't envy his best friend or what his best friend had. He was happy to be himself, to be with Katie and Maya, and to know that there was no wannabe prince charming or worse, a boy like he had once been, looming in the distance.

"You know, just that we don't have to worry about our girl joining "the mating dance" yet," he replied cautiously.

Her once notable crush on Cory's younger brother seemed to be fading over the last year, and even if she did still harbor feelings for him, Shawn knew what kind of young man Josh had grown up to be. He would never be inappropriate with an underage girl. Whatever confusion she had been experiencing where Lucas was concerned had also appeared to resolve itself, which was a relief, not only because of Riley and his lack of preparedness to deal with the subject of boys but also because Lucas Friar was a very intimidating fourteen-year-old boy built with everything necessary to break a young girl's heart.

Katie's lips curled into a besotted grin as she pondered his words.

"Our girl," he had said.

It was all she had ever wanted; the simple joy of having a partner to share her life with, to share her daughter with, but she had never honestly expected to have that. Once Kermit had made the choice not to be part of their little family, she had given up the hope that someone would ever come along who was capable of loving them both. Yet here he was, with his arm draped around her, whispering about how he wasn't ready to share _their_ girl with anyone just yet.

"What," he asked, sensing the words she was holding back.

She wasn't sure that she was ready to say it, or that he was ready to hear it. She wasn't even sure that she could have reached such a profound point in their relationship so quickly. With Kermit she had said the words too soon, before she meant them, before she really understood their meaning. That wasn't a mistake she wanted to make again.

"Nothing just…I don't know how I ever got so lucky, that's all."

The corners of his mouth turned upward as he pulled her closer to him.

"I'm told the universe has a plan," he replied in a teasing tone, but as he held her he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps there was truth to those words after all.

Alan watched the festivities from the comfort of his seat with a smile. Shawn had been like a son to him for more years than he was willing to count. Seeing the boy who had spent so long wandering the world searching finally content and at home, surrounded by loved ones, filled his heart with the same fatherly pride his other children inspired. They were his legacy, and by far the greatest thing he had ever done in his life. Each one followed their own path, became their own person; but they were all kind, loving people who were adding something to the world, making it better somehow. That was all he had ever wanted for them.

His gaze shifted from the man across the room to the boy standing next to him. Though truthfully, Josh was far more man than child these days. He was eighteen years old and just graduated high school. This was supposed to be his time to be young and carefree, to take advantage of every new experience that life had to offer and discover himself along the way. This was supposed to be one of the most exciting and fulfilling periods of his life and instead he was stuck babysitting his elderly father; who couldn't even make it from the school to the bakery without getting winded.

He would never admit it to his family. It was hard enough admitting it to himself that he had actually needed their help. The moment he stood up he knew something was wrong. It was as if the gymnasium had suddenly slanted, testing his equilibrium; his head fuzzy from the swift movement. But that occasionally happened whenever he rose too fast. A brief pause to catch his breath and refocus the room had set him right, and so he'd felt no need to mention it. There was no reason to add to their concerns when he was perfectly fine; a little uncomfortable, but well amused.

"You know son," he began turning toward his youngest child, "I appreciate all you've done for me the last few months, I really do, but I'm okay. This is a party, it's supposed to be fun so why don't you go over there and mingle with the other young folk," he suggested with a sigh.

The last thing he wanted was his son shackled to his side. It wasn't natural for a young man to be so cut off from the rest of the world.

Josh hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jacket with a shrug.

"Not my party. Not my people," he replied simply.

Determined, Alan decided to try a different tactic.

"Maybe not now, but in just a few months you're going to be living here. This city is going to be your home for the next four years. It wouldn't kill you to make a friend or two."

Josh's hand went up nervously to comb through his hair, though there was much less of it than there had once been.

"Yeah, about that…I've been thinking that maybe that's not such a good idea. Penn state is just as good a school, and Cory and Topanga both went there so I've got the whole legacy thing going for me…plus it's closer to home so I can still come by and help out when you guys need me."

A year ago, receiving his early acceptance to NYU had been the thrill of his lifetime, but he couldn't possibly leave his parents now. Not when they needed him. All their other children had flown from the nest years before. Eric was a state representative. Cory had his own family to care for, and Morgan was currently overseas. Sure, they would drop everything to try and be there if they knew, but none of them did. His parents hadn't told them. They hadn't even told him.

His father's expression grew hard and stern at his words.

"Joshua Gabriel Mathews, you listen to me. I may be old, but I am still your father and you are not giving up your position at that school to stay home and spoon-feed me, do you understand? It is NOT your responsibility to take care of me. It's your responsibility to go to school, to make good grades and good friends, to find out who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life. You're only job is to be eighteen years old, got it?"

The young man nodded somberly. The idea of life without the man in front of him was unimaginable. Of course, somewhere deep down, he knew that his father was human and that like all humans he would not live forever, but it was a fundamental truth that had been easy to ignore. Until it was staring him right in the face.

"Got it," he echoed.

The corners of the older man's mouth lifted to form a gentle smile.

"Good, now get out of here," he insisted and Josh did as he was told.

Finally alone, he leaned back in his chair, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Either his daughter in law kept the bakery way too humid, or all the warm bodies crammed in one space had caused a spike in the temperature. Whatever the cause, the room was stuffy and suffocating, he noted as he unhitched the top button near his neck.

Amy stood behind him, watching with tired eyes. That was all she did anymore; watch and worry.

"Are you feeling okay," she asked, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder.

It helped being able to feel him underneath her palm, a reminder that he was still there with her.

"I'd feel much better if you'd let me have some real food. You know, a handful of cocktail weenies and a thin slice of cake aren't gonna kill me."

He was attempting to tease her, but since his appointment right after Christmas she'd lost her playfulness.

"I hope not since you've snuck three already. Did you think I didn't see that," she questioned with a judgmental stare?

Alan flashed her a charming smile, that she couldn't help but return.

"I hoped."

She missed the way they used to be. They had laughed and played. Even in their old age, they still greatly enjoyed one another's company. What she wouldn't give to be like that again instead of counting each breath and committing each word to memory in case it might turn out to be the last.

"You're fidgeting," she remarked as he continued to rim the collar with his finger.

"It's this shirt. It's too tight or something," he muttered, loosening another button, but still feeling no relief.

Her brow furrowed with concern.

"The shirt is fine, Alan are you sure you're feeling okay," she asked again.

He had worried her again, he realized with an internal sigh. This was why he hadn't mentioned the vertigo after the ceremony or the lack of circulation in the air. Because each time he did so she looked at him as though he were vanishing before her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he assured her, "it's probably just heartburn from those weenies. It's the first time I've had real food in months. Shocked my system," he jested, in attempt to make her laugh, or at least return a smile to her beautiful face. Even after all their years together, she was still the loveliest creature he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Ha, ha, very funny," she retorted, though her lips were slightly curled upward. "Topanga is still trying to talk some sense into our son. I'm going to make the rounds real quick to see if anyone needs anything, but you call me if you need anything, okay?"

She leaned down planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'll press my life alert button," he smirked, settling back down into his chair resting his hand on his chest.

Josh sauntered around the room, hands embedded in his pockets, searching for someone to talk to. Most of the attendants were former students of his brother and their families. Only a handful of people did he recognize. There was his brother, who was off somewhere having a mental breakdown over a bracelet. Shawn, who was basically another brother, but he had his hands full, both literally and figuratively, with his new girlfriend. He supposed he could sit with Riley and her friends, but Riley wasn't there. Neither was Maya. The only other familiar faces among the crowd were from that memorable family night when his niece had invited her friends and together they had all played the long game.

"Howdy, Dr. Turtleneck," he greeted with a smile and a nod before turning to the two new faces sitting next to them. "people who I've never seen before."

Smackle felt the familiar rush of chemicals that signified physical response to another person's appearance. While Lucas put out a more dominant masculine vibe, that no doubt reminded some ancestral strand of her DNA of fertility and safety, this stranger while equally tall and handsome, was far leaner and elicited nonsensical thoughts of romance and passion. Both of which were equally disturbing since she had already found her perfect mate.

Farkle smiled up at the stranger, who was clearly not a stranger to him or Lucas.

"Allow me to introduce you," he replied laying down his fork. "Isadora, this is Josh, Riley's uncle and Maya's boing," he tilted his head, his eyes gathering in the corners as he contemplated, "or former boing, we're not really sure at the moment," he amended.

The dark haired young man shot him a look of pure agitation.

"Really dude? You had to go there?"

Lucas chuckled while her boyfriend simply shrugged off the question.

"Josh," he redirected his address, "this is beautiful and brilliant Isadora Smackle, my girlfriend and former arch nemesis," he elaborated with a proud grin.

Josh removed a hand from his pocket and extended it for a friendly shake. She clasped on, a small giggle escaping her lips as they made contact. A boyish smile crossed his face, only adding to his appeal.

"Future Dr. Turtleneck, nice to meet you," he said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Believe me, the pleasure is all mine," she exclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm.

Farkle watched in horror as his girlfriend virtually melted into a puddle at Josh's feet. What was it about guys like Lucas and Josh that made them so irresistible to women? It wasn't as though they had much in common. Lucas was blond with green eyes, and of athletic build. Josh was dark haired with blue eyes but less muscular. The only similarity he could see was their height, but he shared in that trait and women didn't come completely undone at the sight of him. Not even Smackle, who supposedly liked him enough to view him as more than a friend.

"Smackle," he objected instinctively.

Her brown eyes turned to his pleading.

"What did I say?"

It wasn't what she had said, it was how she had said it. But he couldn't judge her for that or hold it against her. She hadn't realized what she had done or why it would be hurtful. Just like she hadn't been able to understand that she wasn't helping earlier with Mr. Mathews and Lucas. Despite all her knowledge and wisdom, there were things that she just didn't know.

Sensing the tension, Josh leapt in to defuse the situation.

"You're quite impressive Isadora. I didn't think anyone could pry that one," he gestured toward the boy genius, "from Riley and Maya's side."

She turned back to face him, her hands now clasped together in front of her. She didn't know how she had overstepped but she was determined not to do so again.

"Oh, I couldn't, we share custody," she explained.

Zay, as usual, had been silently watching, taking in the whole scene.

"How come you don't ever get giggly like that over me," he asked her, his tone almost offended.

Unable to offer a reasonable explanation she simply shrugged her shoulders in reply.

"First Lucas, now this guy," he fumed pointing toward Josh. "I'm starting to feel left out."

Josh barely knew the poor girl but he felt sorry for her as she stood under examination of her friends. It was evident to him that she didn't fully understand her own behavior or feelings. What teenager did at their age?

"And you are," he asked focusing his electric blue orbs on the boy whose name he still didn't know.

Rather than answering, he swatted the boy next to him and cleared his throat, awaiting a response.

Lucas peered up at his friend, finally getting the hint.

"Oh, right. This is my buddy Zay," he stated, ready to move on, but Zay was not satisfied.

"Where's my fancy schmancy introduction like she got?"

Lucas tilted his head back with an exasperated sigh. He then sat up straight, clearing his throat, and doing his best to get in character.

"Introducing the one, the only, my brother from another mother as he likes to say, mister Isaiah Babineaux," he exclaimed in an exaggerated manner that sent his friends and surrounding members of the crowd who couldn't help but overhear into a fit of laughter.

"Also known as Zay," the fellow Texan polished, with a point of his fingers and a clicking noise.

Josh had attempted to hide his chuckles behind his hand at first, but he saw no point when no one around them was bothering to restrain themselves on his behalf.

"What's so funny," Lucas asked, his green eyes clouded with confusion and a hint of embarrassment.

So this was the boy keeping his older brother up at night? He had seen the blond before; at family night, and when he had come to ask Cory's permission to take Riley out on a date. He'd even technically crashed their date without meaning to. From what he could see Lucas may have been built like a heartthrob, but inside he was just a goofy, polite little dork. Perfectly suited for his niece.

"Nothing, it's adorable. You're adorable. I'm just sorry the girls missed it," Josh said with a smile before glancing around the room to search for them once more. They were still unaccounted for. "Speaking of the girls, any idea where they ran off to?"

Cory would lose his mind if he came back out and his daughter was still missing.

"They were supposed to meet us here when they were done with their errand," Lucas repeated, that same slight twinge of concern in his explanation.

"That's cryptic," the dark haired young man muttered beneath his breath, but still loud enough to be heard by the other three.

Zay scooted forward, eager to contribute.

"Dude, it's Riley and Maya. How bad could it really be," he asked, palms to the sky.

Josh tilted his head to the left as he considered his reply.

Riley on her own was nothing to worry about. Riley and Maya on the other hand…

"Depends on where they went and whose idea it was."

Farkle felt the vibrations of his phone in his back pocket. It had steadily been going off for the last ten minutes, but he'd chosen to ignore the alerts. He could respond to the emails and text messages congratulating him at a later date, he thought as he removed the device preparing to set it on silent mode when a peculiar badge on the screen caught his eye. As he tapped on the notification the screen opened up to reveal the cause of disturbance.

"I think it was Riley's," he uttered with a smile, watching the screen with fascination.

All eyes turned to the brunet with the phone in his hands.

"How did you come to that conclusion," Smackle asked, bewildered.

He lifted the device in his hands as a way of explanation.

"Cause they're in my house," he replied.

The group of friends began to gather round so that they too could witness the girls "errand" for themselves.

"What would they be doing there," his girlfriend inquired, leaning in closer.

For the span of a second Farkle had the sudden impulse to kiss her, but he ignored it, knowing she was not a fan of such public displays of affection.

"It appears they're breaking into the time capsule, or rather Riley is. Maya is standing watch at the door," he explained offering a play by play of the events unfolding in front of them.

Zay and Josh who were both watching from behind leaned down to inspect the screen more closely.

"Why is she dressed like Laura Croft," Zay asked, his brown eyes on Maya's slim black unitard.

Josh side-eyed the boy next to him before turning his attention to the blonde as well.

"Really? I got more of a Pussy Galore vibe with the vest…you know, from the bond movies…" this boy clearly had no taste in movies. Then something on the screen caught his eye. "Wait, is that my beanie?"

Lucas watched as Riley opened the chest they had each placed their mementos in. He thought back to that day when he had decided to place his transfer slip into the box, rather than his gold coin. It was the beginning of his new start; his life in New York. And it was Riley who had made the city feel like home. He had almost told her once, what that symbolic piece of paper meant to him, the day he had conquered tombstone. Maybe someday he would tell her the rest.

"I'm confused, why is the capsule at your place," he asked.

He had always assumed Riley or Mr. Mathews had it somewhere, though he wasn't exactly sure why he had made such an assumption.

"Because no one here has a backyard, and you can't bury anything on public property without either permits or trespassing," the genius explained, while his girlfriend nodded her agreement.

It wasn't that Lucas didn't trust Farkle. He was one of the most loyal people that the blond had ever known. Still, he found himself disappointed that the hopes and dreams he had locked away in that box weren't with the one who helped inspire them.

"Remind me again why Farkle is the one safeguarding the time capsule," Maya called out over her shoulder as she ascended the fire escape, her best friend trailing just behind.

Honestly she didn't care that he had the capsule or why. She just wanted Riley to say something. Anything. The brunette had barely spoken since they left the Minkus penthouse; her only choice of words being advice for the blonde to change clothes before returning to the party, lest Cory and Shawn have a conniption upon the sight of her. The silence hadn't been so scary when she'd had a direct line into her companion's thoughts, but now, with secrets to protect and distance between, the quiet was unsettling-threatening even.

Riley was a thinker by nature. She would attack a scenario or a simple statement from every angle, concocting multiple theories. And then she would think about those theories, dissecting them into possible outcomes. And once that was done she would think about the outcomes and play devil's advocate with each one until that one original thought or word had splintered off into a web of numerous theories and outcomes and worst case scenarios. Something in that box had her best friend thinking and she was afraid she knew what that something might be.

Behind her, the amateur psychoanalyst was doing just what Maya suspected. When she had made the decision to contribute a few more items to the capsule she hadn't given any thought to the ones already inside. She'd always wondered what it was her sister had placed in there before returning the box to her father for safekeeping, but she'd never honestly expected to see it. Not for another decade at least, and by then it would be a memory, rather than a hope.

She thought of her own item in the box and how it held a double meaning that only she knew. That day she had told them that she hoped when she saw that tiny little symbol again it would confirm that she still believed in things, but things was a very vague term…which was exactly why she had chosen it.

Farkle had placed his favorite orange turtleneck into the capsule because it reminded him that he was not nothing, and that there were people in his life who would not let him believe otherwise. Could his have held a hidden meaning as well? Was that his way of trying to bury his own insecurities perhaps? And what about Lucas and his transfer slip? He had said that he would rather remember the start of something good, but New York had been the beginning of so many firsts for him? Was he referring to a specific moment or change, she wondered, or the sum experience as a whole?

Maya had never said anything about her item. In fact, she had waited until they had all left the bakery before she deposited anything inside. If any of them had truly taken the capsule assignment to heart it was her best friend. She had dug to the bottom of her soul and placed her heart's most secret and fervent dream over their scattered symbols of hope.

She glanced up, her mind temporarily free of its overwhelming process. Hadn't Maya asked her something? She strained trying to remember the question so that she could form a response. Something about Farkle… but what? Oh yes, the capsule. Why he had the capsule. She hadn't actually been the one to make that decision but she could easily understand why her father had.

"Because he has a safe and we know we can trust him," the brunette replied as she continued to climb.

They could have used the door since no one else was home, but for some reason they had chosen to climb the fire escape instead. It was reasonable for Maya to feel that way. She had been making this same trek up to Riley's bedroom window ever since she was seven years old. The owner of the window, on the other hand, had very little experience with this method of entry. She supposed she was merely following the blonde's lead as she had always done. That was her instinct; to follow where others bolder than her led.

Could they trust Farkle, Maya wondered.

She had never questioned his loyalty when it was just the three of them, but that was just it. There were more of them now. Farkle had loved both her and Riley blindly in the beginning. Given a choice between them and anyone else in the world it was no contest, but that spell had since been broken. The boy who had once worshipped them, both together and separately, had moved on to someone else. Isadora Smackle was his girlfriend now. If he were somehow pitted between them and her, which would he choose? Lucas and Zay were his first real guy friends. How much weight did that hold?

And then there was the age old question of sloppy joe or chicken pot pie. He had promised to love them both the same forever, but forever was a really long time and the one thing the past year had taught her was that a lot can happen, and the things that happen affect everything else.

"Need I remind you we are talking about the same Farkle that tricked me into giving him my friendship ring just so he could ring power you with it," she replied, slinging her leg through the open window.

She'd been so angry with him for doing that. At first she'd thought it was because he had taken Riley's side over hers, that he had broken his promise, but that wasn't what had hurt her the most. Farkle was one of the few people that believed she was a good person. The fact that he had taken matters into his own hands meant that he didn't think so anymore. He had given up any hope of her doing the right thing on her on own.

She had though…finally.

In her case doing the right thing wasn't as natural as breathing. It required time, thought, and a little bit of argument between what she wanted to do and what she knew she ought to. That was how she knew she was doing the right thing now, because it went directly against what she wanted…or what she thought she wanted…or might want. She still wasn't sure. Not that it mattered. Lucas didn't want her. He wanted Riley and Riley wanted him. It would be selfish to interfere, especially when she had no idea what she wanted. Especially when Riley had only let him go because of her in the first place.

Riley followed behind. Without grace to compensate for her lack of practice or skill, she fumbled clumsily though the opening.

"That was my fault," she insisted, pulling herself into a seated position with her legs tucked underneath. "He was only trying to fix what I broke between all of us."

Maya recognized the tone of guilt in her friend's statement, and the sound made her nauseous. She held herself solely responsible for all the damage inflicted by the triangle that never truly was, when it wasn't all on her. None of them were completely innocent.

"So it's okay to do something wrong if you're doing it for the right reasons," the blonde asked as she made her way toward the closet.

Never would she have imagined Riley excusing wrong doing for any reason. To her, the world was composed of absolutes. Good and Right were on one side and Bad and Wrong were on the other. The wrong thing was never right, not in Rileytown. If that were true, she wouldn't be beating herself up over the lie she had told with only the best of intentions.

Riley bristled at her question. Earlier in the year she might have answered yes. She would have had to in order to rationalize her own choices, but had she ever truly believed that?

"No, no of course not," she mumbled to herself as though she were realizing something important. "But I don't think that he's proud of how he handled the situation," she elaborated.

If his phone call to her the next day had been any indication, he hadn't forgiven himself even after she had. She knew from experience it was much easier to pardon those you love than to pardon yourself.

"I did put him in a really bad position," she emphasized to the blonde.

She knew that Farkle had hurt Maya somehow in order to obtain that ring, and the last thing she wanted was to invalidate the feelings of her friend. However, she couldn't help but feel that Maya's anger was aimed toward the wrong person. Any mistakes Farkle had made with their friends fell squarely back on her refusal to come clean when he had begged her multiple times to do so.

Maya scoffed as she ran a hand along the hangers in the closet, each fabric tickling her fingers in a different way.

"You didn't put him there, he did! When he refused to mind his own business!"

Riley hadn't told him that she stepped back for Maya.

Just like Maya hadn't told him about her own feelings for the cow birthing moral compass that was Lucas Friar either.

"You're still mad at him," the brunette asked cautiously from the window, causing Maya to wince internally.

She hadn't meant to sound so angry, and she wasn't. Not about the ring anyway.

"I'm not mad," she corrected, removing a hanger and pressing it to her figure, "I just wish he didn't know everything all the time."

Farkle was the only one who knew what she was hiding, and he'd made his feelings on the subject very clear. It turned out that he hadn't urged Riley to come clean because he knew how Lucas felt, though he had strongly suspected, but because he didn't believe that friends should lie to one another. In his mind, Maya's secret was no different from her sister's and equally as damaging. He had already proven that he was willing to violate her trust if the end justified the means. How could she trust him knowing that?

Riley sat contemplating her best friend's answer. Finally, she felt as though the pieces were coming together. She wasn't holding a grudge because of what Farkle had said to her or the purpose behind it. She was angry because he had known the truth when she hadn't. The one thing that she had made sure Maya understood once the truth came out was that she didn't blame Maya and that she shouldn't blame herself either. It didn't make her any less of a person or any less of a friend for taking her best friend at her word. Nor was it Farkle's fault that he had seen what others could not.

"But then he wouldn't be our Farkle," she replied, thinking back on the forgiveness project her father had assigned just after their visit to Texas and the lesson behind the spoiled movie endings.

Farkle was only being himself, and so there was nothing to forgive.

She knew that Riley was right. To strip Farkle of his observation and intellect would be taking away part of what made him who he was. And life without Farkle was something she had given up any hope or want to experience long ago. Even when she had done everything in her power to drive the small little boy away it hadn't worked. He had insisted on loving her and protecting her exactly the same, despite the fact that Riley had given him her all from the start while Maya still struggled to offer eighty percent. The only reason he had gotten so involved was because he cared about them. He wanted everyone to be happy and believed the best way to achieve that happiness was through honesty, and so he had intervened.

He wouldn't be Farkle if he didn't care.

Again the silence stretched out between them. It seemed the only intention Riley had of speaking that evening was when she was first spoken to. She had been patiently waiting for the brunette to broach the subject they both knew was on her mind, and then impatiently waiting, and now she was just done.

"So how long are we going to ignore this," she asked as she bent down to unzip her boots.

"What," Riley asked innocently.

There were many subjects being ignored at the moment.

"The thing in the time capsule. I know that you saw it. I was the last one to put anything in so it was right on top," she reasoned.

The brunette glanced down, her free hand fidgeting with her newest accessory fastened to her wrist. She twisted it this way and that, admiring the way the blue swirls caught the light.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to talk about it," she replied hesitantly.

Riley was suddenly four years old again, hobbling around the sidewalk; terrified of stepping on a crack, fearing she might hurt someone she loved by doing so.

Maya let out an unmannerly snort.

"Since when has that ever stopped you before," she challenged.

It hadn't. No matter how much the blonde had protested, Riley had always soldiered on with her plans. She had bay windowed Maya into a relationship with Shawn. She had schemed Shawn and Katie into an albeit rocky introduction. She'd signed Maya up for the art display at school against her wishes and she had practically forced her into a relationship with a guy she didn't really like, all because Riley had assumed she did. Somewhere along the way her attempts to help had shifted into something that hurt all of them, and until she discovered why this had happened and how to prevent it, she wasn't nearly as comfortable "fixing" things as she had been.

"I'm trying to let you tell me things on your own terms now, especially after everything that happened this year," she explained.

Maya was always begging her to stay out of things. She thought she'd be happy about this.

The blonde began to work the buttons on her vest.

"Not much to talk about," she said, shrugging her shoulders loose from its confines. "It's just a picture of Shawn and my mom holding a cake."

Technically, that was true, but it was more than that and they both knew it. Maybe Riley couldn't read her anymore but she could still offer a gentle nudge couldn't she?

"You're in it too. You looked really happy."

The picture had been taken from an outside angle to capture the entire moment. Maya's face hadn't been the sole focus of the shot, but anyone who knew the blonde at all could see the hope shining in her eyes like stars as she clutched the locket around her neck.

"I was," she muttered, pulling the fitted blouse up over her head.

 _She looked happy…_

Riley's head gave a slight tilt as she repainted the image in her mind. There was something about it-something prickling her.

"And now they're, they're dating," she stammered, her mind working to speak and analyze simultaneously. "You got your wish. That must make you happy."

Maya stepped out of the closet in a black short sleeve dress, with a sinking neckline and flowy skirt where the back was longer than the front. It was adorned with bright pink flowers and turquoise peacocks; one of Riley's favorites, but not something she had expected the spunky blonde to choose.

The corners of her mouth lifted into a wide smile that never quite reached her eyes.

"It does."

"Right," the brunette conceded, reflecting back on the photograph in her mind.

 _She looked happy._

"It's just that you don't look very happy right now."

There was no light in her eyes, no creases in the corners. Only the taught parting of lips, and flash of teeth. A smile with no joy behind it; stretched too thin to cover every silent scream and unspoken word. A smile so transparent she wondered how she had ever believed it.

Maya pranced about in Riley's dress and her own imitation leather boots, parading that false grin that she had come to wear so well. Maybe she should be happy but she wasn't. She was just tired.

Tired of lying.

Tired of smiling.

Tired of hurting.

How had Riley managed to keep her charade going for so long? Maya had only been at it a fraction of that time and already she was exhausted. But Riley was watching her, studying her. If she dropped the act for even a second, her best friend would know, and then all hell would break loose again. She couldn't let that happen.

"I must have missed that day in preschool where we identify facial expressions because I thought smiling meant happy," she sassed, kinking her brow.

Even a gesture so purely Maya lacked its usual luster. She was a dying star; her light reflecting somewhere else a lightyear away. Riley knew exactly how that felt. She had worn a similar disguise not long ago.

She latched onto the blonde's arm and pulled her down on the seat next to her. After all her promises of "letting Maya come to her" and "giving the others the chance to solve their own problems" she just couldn't stand by and do nothing. Not when it was her sister hanging on the edge of that cliff.

"I used to think that too," she spoke carefully, clinging to her best friend's hand. "But then I…I said something that I didn't mean, and I didn't want anyone to know how I really felt so I smiled and nodded and things like "yeah" and "sure" a lot, and nobody thought to question it. I was smiling Maya, but I wasn't happy. I was lying to you…just like you're lying now."

The blonde's eyelids fluttered as she attempted to register the meaning behind the accusation.

 _Riley knew…_

The brunette said that she had been waiting for her to come to her willingly, and when she hadn't Riley had wordlessly bay windowed her. She had a choice to make. She could confess everything, confirm all her friend's suspicions but what would happen then? In a perfect world they could both always be happy, but this wasn't a perfect world. If she told the truth she would be free and Riley would carry the burden. If she denied the claim, and did so convincingly, at least one of them would still be able to enjoy the peace that ignorance allowed.

"You're projecting," she snapped as she retracted her hand.

She knew that she was being harsh, but she had to be. There was no way to make Riley un-see the truth. She could only make her doubt it, and the most effective way to do that was to make her sister doubt herself.

Riley leapt from the window, determined not to be distracted by the smoke and mirrors. It was disturbingly effortless to recognize what Maya was doing. It was the same thing that she had done in the same situation. She had avoided and denied and when that hadn't worked she had deflected and outright ignored. If anything the blonde's response only solidified her resolve. She had forced herself into a corner of isolation, but it didn't have to be that way for Maya. Together they could learn from her mistakes instead of repeating them.

"I'm not projecting, I'm seeing, and I'm sorry that I didn't see it sooner. You've been off for months now and I thought it was just me; that you didn't trust me or hadn't forgiven me, but this was never about me. While I was being selfish you were doing what you always do, trying to protect me, even though you're obviously going through something yourself."

Despite her will, Maya's tenacity began to soften. For months she had poured all her fight and energy into getting through each day and now she found herself in a battle that she was unprepared for. Under better circumstances she could probably win, but her resources were depleted and Riley was stronger, and strangely sure of herself. Nothing she could say would convince her friend that she hadn't struck a chord.

"Riley please just leave it alone," her eyes and voice pleading.

The brunette shook her head with a gentle smile.

"I'm not gonna do that Peaches. You're my best friend," she raised the hand that held her friendship ring like a promise. "I can help you."

Maya turned from her, dangerously close to breaking.

"You can't fix this honey," whispered sadly.

Again the brunette took her hand and this time she didn't bother fighting.

"Maybe not, but I can be there for you if you'll let me. Just tell me what's going on," she implored.

It wasn't that Maya didn't want to. She did, very much so. More than anything she wanted the wall between them to come toppling down and for Riley to somehow make it all okay, but she knew there was nothing to be done. If she knew the truth she would sacrifice her own heart again, and that wouldn't make the blonde happy. That would only make them both miserable.

"I can't," she whimpered, fighting back the tears forming in her crystal orbs.

Her pain was so tangible it made the brunette's heart ache. The last time she had seen her best friend so hurt and so desperate to hide it, her pathetic excuse of a father had been involved. She didn't think or speak badly of many people. It was difficult for her to truly dislike anyone, even Kermit. While there was a streak of resentment regarding his treatment of Maya, mostly she just felt sorry for him for missing out on all that his amazing daughter had to offer.

Few things really hurt Maya. A lot of things disappointed her, many angered her, a select handful upset her; but hardly anything cut her as deeply as feeling something that she didn't want to feel. And whatever she was feeling she was reluctant to share with Riley.

"Because it will hurt me," she ventured softly.

The blonde didn't reply but her shoulders fell, her defenses on the verge of tumbling.

She must be getting too close, she thought.

"Because you're still mad at me, is that it," she pried further, ready to gauge her friend's response.

Maya finally spun around to face her, quick to deny her claim.

"No, no that's not it at all. I don't blame you for lying. I don't like it- but I understand why you did."

The conviction in her cerulean gaze told Riley that she meant what she was saying, but there was something else too. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Whatever Maya was holding onto; she was clearly afraid of how it would affect her. And why was it so easy to forgive her for everything she had done when she was still holding contempt for Farkle when he had done far less?

Except Maya had never actually said that she had forgiven her. She had said she understood her. Her brain began playing an eerie game of connect the dots, all the while some other part of her screamed don't make assumptions, but the lines between every phony smile and comment of exhaustion were forming a picture too familiar to be purely coincidence.

She hadn't pardoned Riley because she believed she deserved it. She'd let her off the hook because it was the only way to do the same for herself.

Because she was lying too.

"Oh…" she breathed, tilting her head to the side. "This is about Lucas. You lied about Lucas…about not liking him, and you didn't want me to know because you didn't want to hurt me…"

Maya didn't have to confirm. The guilt and sadness were written all over her face and unmistakable. Her eyes flitted down to the bracelet he had given her earlier that evening. The blonde knew it was there. She'd seen her staring at it just before the ceremony, and yet she had said nothing. Because she liked him. Because seeing him with Riley filled her with the same emptiness and longing that she had felt watching him with her.

It was like waking from a dream and not knowing what was real and what wasn't anymore.

Maya stood helpless in front of her, not knowing what to say or do to. She had tried so hard to do the right thing this time, to be a better friend than she had been, but judging by the mask of shock and sickness overcoming the brunette's usually sunny features, she had only managed to make things worse. It had never occurred to her that Riley would put the pieces together; not when she still looked for birds inside of classrooms when someone said the word.

She had assumed that Riley wouldn't notice, or that even if she did, she would accept whatever reasoning had been offered as explanation. But she had been wrong. This was exactly why they were supposed to be talking to one another instead of making decisions based solely on their own interpretations. The truth was out now…on both parts. The only left to do was talk about it, though she couldn't imagine that talking would really change anything for either one of them.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak I'm walking on sunshine began to play, Riley's phone bursting to life. Apparently it had been on the entire time they were pulling their little heist at the Minkus residence.

The blonde's face flew up, her palm covering her face.

Had this phone call come a little earlier they might have been caught red-handed.

The brunette slid the lock on her phone and greeted whoever was on the other line…probably Lucas calling somehow sensing her distress, eager to play hero. For the first time in the history of Rileytown, her expressive brown eyes went blank, her mouth falling open, unable to make a sound. She stammered out some "yeah's" and okay's" before hanging up and meeting the crystal blue orbs now filled with concern.

She had thought that Riley learning the truth about her feelings was the worst thing that could possibly happen. She didn't know what the brunette would say next, but she knew whatever it was, it was worse.

"Something happened at the party," her tone was lifeless, void of all emotion. "Grandpa's in the hospital."


	84. Sequel Preview

**A/N: I apologize for the delay, I truly expected this to be up sooner but the official first chapter of the second installment Cracks in the Foundation is here. I know it's been an uphill journey ever since the dance and you aren't really sure where i'm going with this, but I'm hoping you will continue to trust me and follow this story through.**

 **No buildup without payoff, and I'm building up to some big things (and no a bait and switch with Rucas and Lucaya is NOT one of them)**

 **Here is a small preview of what's to come.**

 **You can find the completed chapter here:** **s/12399588/1/Cracks-in-the-Foundation**

"You awake Zay," he asked, nudging him gently with his shoulder.

The boy next to him mumbled "not again," as he shifted positions in his seat.

"Nope, not awake. In fact, very much asleep," he growled, tossing his head to the other side of his pillow.

The blonde sat quietly contemplating, alone with his thoughts, but it was no use. He thought much better out loud.

"What do you think it means that even in my dreams I can't kiss Riley without some type of interruption spoiling the moment," he pondered aloud.

Zay groaned in exasperation.

"I would tell you, but we've already established I'm not awake," he turned his back toward his friend.

Lucas gave the knob above a twist, silencing the hiss of the air conditioner, as if that were contributing to his distraction.

"Why can't I just kiss her," he bellowed, tossing his hands in the air. "It's not like I don't want to. I think about it all the time, but then when I'm with her it's like I can't work up the nerve and on the rare occasion I do, someone has a crisis or I lose a shoe. There's always something!"

The closest he had come was the night of the Valentine's dance and he had been acting purely on reflex at the time. She was making assumptions about his feelings and pulling further away from him. At that moment, something had simply snapped inside. All he could see was her disappearing into the night, just like she had back in Texas when he'd pleaded with her to reconsider. He wasn't letting her walk away again. He couldn't, but now that he knew she wanted him to- shouldn't that make it easier?

Hearing the desperation in his buddy's voice he twisted the other way around with a sigh. Clearly Lucas needed to talk and being asleep had not made Zay exempt from this conversation.

"Do I really need to spell this out for you, bro? Smackle and Farkle are two of the most scientific minded people on the planet and even they know you're doing this wrong," he grumbled, taking the blonde by surprise.

His brows knit together over his curious green eyes.

"What do you mean?"

Zay whined as he removed his pillow from his neck and shifted all his weight to one side.

"It's called the mating _dance_ , Lucas. Dance is all about passion and rhythm; about expressing what you _feel_. You wanna get the girl? Stop thinking about it and just do it already!" he huffed as he resituated in his chair. "And now that I've given you the answers to the universe, I'm going back to sleep. You should do the same."

As he leaned back toward the window, the corners of his mouth lifted in a lazy smirk. He already kind of _had_ the girl, not that he was ready to share that information with anyone just yet. His smile grew as he replayed their conversation that day at the friendship bench in his head. She had told him that she loved him that day, that she wanted all the same things he did. It had been their first step forward after so many backward and side steps, and he'd never been happier than when she had told him she believed they were worth whatever risk was involved.

Both had agreed that they weren't ready, and if he was being completely honest, part of him still wasn't. There seemed to be another part of him though that could think of little else. There had always been at least two elements to their relationship. They were friends first and foremost but there had always been a steady undercurrent brimming just below the surface of something more' something about the way she leaned her hand against her cheek when she had asked him to keep talking that night in the library, or the silly expressions she made when she got excited about something. There was just something about her, and all the ways she was different from anyone else he had ever known.

* * *

The courthouse was already in a frenzy when Farkle and his family arrived. The steps were littered with paparazzi. Every reporter and photographer within a fifty-mile radius must have camped out overnight, eager to make a name for themselves by covering his father's trial. There was also a large group of protesters circling the vicinity; investors in Minkus Incorporation who now felt deceived and were seeking retribution. From a young age, he had been taught the concept of economics and how it applied to the world he lived in; specifically, the family business, but he had always managed to detach himself from the ruthlessness of it all because it wasn't personal, it was just business.

But to these people it was personal. It was their life savings, their retirement, their hard-earned money going to a cause they knew nothing about. It was a violation of trust between them and the company; between them and his father. As the founder and Chief Executor of Operations, it was his face they associated with Minkus Inc's doings. It didn't matter what he had or hadn't known at the time. In their eyes Stuart Minkus was nothing more than a figurehead and guilty as sin.

As they neared the building, the angry swarm gathered around shouting their outrage and offensive line of questioning. Bulbs flashed and tempers flared as his father wrapped his arms around his family, steering them through the crowd. Unable to get a rise out of the defendant or his wife, one of the reporters turned their focus to their only child.

"As the heir to the Minkus fortune, how do you feel about your father's ill-gotten gains," she asked, shoving her microphone right in his face.

His crystal blue eyes turned to ice as he stared her down. Logically, he realized that this was just another story to her, perhaps even her "big break." In her mind, she was simply doing her job. Nevermind the family she was destroying or the innocent man she was condemning.

It wasn't personal, it was business, but that didn't make it okay.

"I feel like this whole thing is unfair," he spat with fury. "My father has done nothing but work and sacrifice for this company, for a legacy he could be proud of! It's not like we knew this was gonna happen!"

The reporter narrowed her eyes, seeing an opportunity to fortunate to pass.

"Didn't plan to embezzle or didn't plan to get caught," she asked, before turning toward the camera. "You heard it here first, folks. Minkus Junior, guilty by association or willing accomplice?

The grip on his shoulder tightened at his words. He glanced up to see his father, eyes full of gratitude and sadness.

"Don't bother son. Just let the system do its job," he whispered into his ear.

As much as he appreciated his son sticking up for him, he knew none of those vultures had any interest in the truth. They were only looking for a way to advance their own agenda and scandal sold far more headlines than innocence.


End file.
